Carving Out Time... It's Important!

I am the first to admit that I have no problem carving out time to do business, because I am business minded on crack. Turning every thought I have into a way to add another stream of income so that I can have more free time to do more business has been my way of life for so long. Why you ask? Well... because I have always been the provider of the needs and wants for my family... even through two marriages. Let me tell you, it is the most difficult trait for me to shut off even when I have the time to.

Now that I have a REAL man in my life however, I am learning how to relax... how to carve out time for my kids, him, myself and how to have FUN on a weekly basis instead of something I do once or twice a month which is what I was used to. It is really nice, but it is certainly a learning curve for this not-so-soccer-mom. I am more like the soccer dad who forgets to bring the necessities like diapers, snacks, wet wipes and diaper bag... oh yeah the diaper bag! Really? I should bring a change of clothes? Why didn't I think of that? Ugh it is embarrassing sometimes which is probably one of the reasons I never fit into "play dates", I always felt like the moron mom around those "professional mom's." These women thought of EVERYTHING; toys, snacks, diaper's, extra clothing, bubbles, first-aid kits, portable potty's and the kitchen sink. I often kept quiet that I forgot some vital "child accessory" or ended up borrowing something I forgot from one of the wonder- mom's who laughed at my mistakes. I have four children and have NEVER  had one of those cute protector thingies that keep your children from sucking on the cart handle, yet I knew people who had them in multiple colors and patterns. (I wanted one I was too practical to pay $50 for one so I used sanitizing wipes instead) My last attempt was joining a non-profit mom's club... and although it proved not to be the most successful thing I did (it only lasted a year or so) in that time I was elected VP and became President by default; (See?  it was my business mind on crack again.)  I will say however that I gained a few great friends simply because they accepted the fact that I was not too good at carting my children to parks and play dates and still loved me. (Those are TRUE friends) And of course I gained some hater's... that was nothing new! 


I am still learning how to turn the business-mom button off and the soccer-mom button on, but I have come to terms with the fact that I love my kids NO less because of it. My kids know that I would jump in front of a bus for them and bring the playground bully to tears with a self help assessment if they become a target and this is all in my high heels between business dealings and blogging. I suppose I am my own kind of "wonder mom" so I figure I am okay. Advocate? check. Hugs? check. Bedtime stories? check. I got it!

This week I have been able to spend a lot of time with my kids and although cabin fever due to tropical storm Debbie had us ready to scream at one another earlier this week today Zane, Baleigh and I ventured out to a trampoline arena and the kids had a blast. Although I had come from work and showed up in heels and a dress causing me to stand out like a bleeding wound at a white party, they thought I was AWESOME for taking them there today. We went home and I had to go back to my studio to work a bit more, but all in all the day was great! I have decided next time I am NOT going to be on the sidelines... I will be jumping to new heights with them! What a great day and a bit of an adventure for me!

Until tomorrow my readers!

xoxo

~Shells~

How the Gift of Down syndrome Changed My Life...

I will never forget the day I found out my youngest daughter Abrielle was going to be born with Down syndrome. I was 20 weeks pregnant and a routine blood test that is automatically given to pregnant mothers 35 and over had come back abnormal giving my unborn child a 1 in 11 chance of being born with Trisomy 21... aka Down sydrome. I agreed to have an amniosentisis to confirm the possibility for the sole purpose of knowing how to prepare for this special little gift I may have been blessed with. I was given the news over the phone. At the time my marriage was a mess and I had decided prior to getting pregnant with her that I wanted to end it, she was a complete surprise. I had three other children one being only 6 months old at the time of conception, it was a really rough time in my life. I cried for a moment after the nurse gave me the news; not because she would have DS but because I knew that my beautiful innocent child would be born with a reason for society to reject her. I became determined to learn as much as I could about DS and wanted to help create awareness about what Down syndrome really is, education squashes ignorance and I needed to educate myself in order to educate others.

Abrielle is now two and a half , she has come a long way from being born at 4.5 pounds. She was perfectly healthy and strong at birth and she is now a thriving, determined little girl that is full of smiles and hugs. She has combated every obstacle that has come her way. We have been fortunate that she has a higher functioning form of DS with fewer "typical" Down syndrome traits such as heart issues, hearing and sight problems, and severe developmental delays. However her friends with DS are just as amazing as she is regardless of how severe their cases are. You see... Down syndrome is nothing more than a delay in brain function, it can be mild or it can be severe and anything in between. No matter what, they are still human beings who deserve a place in society and deserve to be treated as any other person should be treated.

A disability is nothing to turn your head away from, people with disabilites have so much to offer this world. They offer compassion, care and big bright smiles. They offer warm hearts, unconditional love and can teach you how to let the small stuff go when you are trying to achieve a goal. There is something "missing" in the mind of a person with DS and that missing piece is the piece that I wish we all were absent of, because in a way I think this world would be a much better place.

Just 30 years ago, babies born with DS were automatically institutionalized...banned from society; parents were denied the choice to take their babies home. Can you imagine that? Today, we are given mandatory testing to determine if our children will have DS if we are 35 years old or older. I can't help but wonder after my own experience if this test is merely a way to discourage these children from being born. The moment I sat down at the desk of the high risk doctor after confirming the diagnosis, a piece of paper about terminating the pregnancy was pushed across the desk to me. I immediately pushed it back and said "no thank you", but unfortunately many people sign on the dotted line afraid of the responsibility. I will tell you... and I hope that you LISTEN UP, I have 4 children and Abrielle has been the easiest to care for out of all of them, even now that she is a full blown typical toddler that is into everything. She is a great listener and an incredible asset to my family. Raising a child is NOT easy no matter how typical they are, so if you are afraid of the responsibility then get your tubes tied and avoid getting pregnant.

On the other hand if you are the parent of a child with a disability, know this... YOU ARE BLESSED. God gives us no more than we can handle, and he intends for us to share our blessings with the world. Please help me spread this message by sharing my blog, your "share" can help change the minds of many!


Down Syndrome Facts:

An estimated 92 percent of all women who receive a prenatal diagnosis of Down syndrome choose to terminate their pregnancies, according to research reviewed by Dr. Brian Skotko, a pediatric geneticist at Children's Hospital Boston.


In the absence of prenatal testing, the United States would have experienced a 34 percent increase in the number of Down births between 1989 and 2005. Instead, 15 percent fewer such babies were born during that time, representing a 49 percentage point difference between expected and observed rates, according to Skotko's research.


In the United States, Down syndrome occurs in 1 of every 800 infants 

I cannot imagine how many wonderful moments and life lessons I would have been deprived if my sweet little "Brie" was not here. She does not belong in an institution... she belongs in society and that is more than I can say for some "typical" people out there! 

xoxo

~Shells~

An amazing story of  Down syndrome SUCCESS! 

http://www.kasa.com/dpps/news/business_1/tims-place-a-dream-followed_4039505

With a Shirt Like This...

It's no wonder why we have bratty kids and bullies lingering around schoolyards these days. I mean REALLY? Would YOU buy this shirt for your 8 year old? (that's the size it was) If your answer is yes then A: You must also have a bumper sticker that says your kid is an honor student making every parent whose kid is not an honor student feel less of a person, B: You are trying to get your own reality show for having the most disrespectful kids in America, or C: You simply have a distorted sense of what "cute" is and need to go see Dr. Phil. You may as well buy them a shirt that says "I don't play well with others because I am a knarly brat" and alienate them from the world. WHAT are you teaching them and WHY are clothing designers making stuff like this? Don't they realize that one day THESE kids will be the ones taking care of us?

If you agree then help me spread this blog so that people who WOULD buy this shirt for their kid will READ my blog everyday and perhaps some positive thinking will ooze into their bloodstream. It really worries me what this world is coming to. I am afraid for my kids, here I am trying to raise them to be kind, caring, giving, selfless assets to society and as we parade around stores we see padded bras and hot pants in the little girls section and shirts that encourage brattiness and degradation. My goodness. (Huff) It will have all of us spinning our wheels at some point if it keeps up. Oh... and let's not forget the "Monster High Dolls" that have made my 10 year old daughter obsessive about coffins and black eyeliner... I know it seems harmless but they are Bratz dolls in gothic clothing and Bratz dolls were banned because they were dressed like cheap call girls making our little girls want to wear half shirts and hoochie heels. It IS a problem! Just in case you are wondering...no, I have not purchased a single doll for her (I blame that on other people in her life) nor do I allow her to put on eyeliner just because I am a makeup artist, she is 10! 


I need to start a kids fashion line... I have a few ideas but now that they are running through my brain I must get out my notepad and keep them to myself until I can turn THAT into a business venture too! UGH I am cursed.. seriously cursed with a brain that turns everything into cash flow.

Certainly a different kind of inspiration tonight but now if you see this shirt on a kid you will now think of me and laugh! (and perhaps lecture that Mom who is likely wearing hoochie heels and false eyelashes) ;)

I will get serious again tomorrow night. I actually had a tear-jerker blog planned for tonight until I saw this and had to climb up on the soapbox!

Goodnight all 

xoxo

~Shells~

When the Honeymoon is Over... Kiss and Make Up!

We all look for it, the picture perfect guy/girl relationship... the kind we read about in fairy tales and see in romantic comedies. We all love that "newness" the warm and fuzzy first few months... for other's it's a year or more, then for some... it's a lifetime. Have you ever wondered what makes the long lasting ones work? How two people who have spent decades together can still look in each others eyes and get butterflies, and when they kiss... it's as if it is the first time; fireworks and cannons booming and a tingly feeling running through their entire body. I have never had many elderly clients... however I remember years ago I had this little old lady who was nearing 80 years old as a regular customer. Month after month I would watch as her cute little husband would slowly escort her into the salon holding her hand, walk her to my chair, kiss her on the cheek, and then wait for her patiently in the car as she got her hair done. I asked her one day how long they had been together and she replied, "63 wonderful years." I remember being baffled at how in love they still were, and at the time, being single... I hoped to find that kind of love one day.

I believe that many of us have experienced that kind of love at one time or another, yet we failed to recognize it because we think it's supposed to be "perfect" all the time. We think that when we disagree and get upset with one another that the relationship is doomed and the honeymoon is over... and we end it prematurely. No two people can agree ALL of the time, in fact it is healthy and necessary to debate once in a while... as long as it is done in a respectful way. Working through problems is what it is all about, it is how we grow and learn what makes the other tick. How we handle the disagreements is what makes or breaks the relationship.

 I have had two serious relationships in my life (which later became marriages) prior to the relationship I am currently in. I am not ashamed...nor proud... but when I am honest with myself, those two relationships in hindsight were long term due to obligation instead of true love; I had children with them early on in the relationships and tried to make the best of a not so great situation. (There is a reason God does not want us to do it this way) Nevertheless, I did and although painful at times... I learned a lot from both experiences. Reflecting on those relationships makes me realize where I went wrong, what I could have done better and what I did right. I left the second marriage hoping for nothing more than to find who I was again... what made ME tick ... it was an emotional year of self discovery and I must say that it did me a lot of good.

A year after my last marriage ended... I crossed social paths with Corey, we had known each other for a few years but had never been in a social setting before. Nearly two years later we are still going strong. We balance each other out well I must say, and although everyday is not bubblegum and rainbows... I feel that with every hiccup we become closer because we handle things the right way and that is by  respecting how the other one feels, talking it through, and finding a solution we are both happy with. Although we found each other a little later in life than my little old lady client did her husband.... I hope that one day when I am pushing 80 I still get butterflies when he touches my hand and the tingly feeling when he kisses me... I truly believe that the honeymoon can last forever.

I remember asking my little old lady client who had been kissed ever so sweetly by her cute little husband what the secret to a long lasting marriage was... to which she replied "We learned to put up with each others nonsense, I always let him think he is right and if I want something I make him think it was his idea to begin with"

And there you go my readers... wise words never to forget!

xoxo

~Shells~

"Once you find love for yourself you can love another being with the rest of your heart." 

©2012 Shelley Giard

When You Hit a Wall... Bounce!!!

I will be the first to say that obstacles can really cloud up a pretty picture. You can map out a plan, execute the plan and at the end of the day fail miserably; you have hit a brick wall and are not quite sure how to recover. You have two choices; you can do what every average person does and simply give up, or you can become a problem solver who will analyze the entire situation honestly, figure out where your plan went wrong and then create another plan based on mistakes you made the first time. Obviously the latter will give you a better chance of winning, so WHY is it so often the choice we leave for the next guy?

We all hate failure... why? Because we are taught that failure is a bad thing growing up. The older I get, the more I wish I could run my own private school... a school that would teach kids what they REALLY need to know to survive and succeed in this world. Failure is a good thing when taught in the right context. Failing gives you a reason to try harder, to iron out details that you may not have thought about if you succeeded the first time. It allows you the time to perfect what you are doing to a larger degree... and it is the biggest step towards success. If they taught THAT in school we would look at failure in a much different light now wouldn't we? Instead they teach that when you fail you have lost... that you should carry shame and hang your head. That my friends is CRAP! Not true, and you should erase that from your beautiful brains. Failure is GOOD, failure is NECESSARY to succeed ; failure should be embraced. If you don't make mistakes how in the world will you ever learn anything at all?

When you hit a wall... bounce, be resilient... don't give up. Look at it as a way to break that wall down more efficiently the next time and perhaps if you do this once, twice, even three times or more you will truly get the chance to experience something amazing. 

"There is a gift at the end of perseverance, but nothing awaits us in giving up" 

©2012ShelleyGiard

These were little plaques I made for a class of  inner city 5th graders that I spoke to earlier in the year as their "graduation gift" I wanted them to know that despite circumstances or situations, if you simply "BELIEVE YOU CAN YOU WILL! 

The Bridge Between Your Passions and Living Your Dreams

Everyone has a passion and some... like me, have many. If I could clone myself, I could live out all of my dreams at once and likely find a few more to take on, but since that science experiment did not make the cut I am stuck trying to live them one at a time. That keeps me in forward motion and that is never a bad thing. I make lists... lots of them and within those lists are sub-lists almost like an outline in a sense of how to make things happen. Call it weird, call it anal retentive, call it nuts... but I will tell you that it works. There is something about writing things down and putting it where you can see it every day that gets your mind into high gear for accomplishment. I am sure that I have preached this in prior blogs but preaching makes perfect... or practice makes perfect... or repetition makes perfect ... or all of the above really, so either live with my redundant nature or stop reading my blogs. The end.

The bridge between your passions and living your dreams is.... drum-roll please..... YOU! It's not the lack of money or time, it's not your friend's opinion, or the opinion of anyone else for that matter, and it's certainly not anyone else's actions that keep you from bridging the gap; it's YOU... your decisions, your choices, your feelings, your fears, and YOUR shortcomings that leave the gap open. Want to close it? Ahem... then work on YOU!  Yeah, I know.... reading self help books and diving into self discovery can be a grueling scary adventure and you would rather slit your wrists and poor alcohol in the wound than to be honest with yourself about your faults, but it's the only way you can improve your life.

Let's face it, watching television is NOT going to improve your life TRUST ME! I was roped in to watching some television with my sweetie last night (which I did not mind since it offered me some downtime and couch cuddling) however, I could not help but to be amused at the commercials. My conclusion is that if you watch too much TV, all you will gain is the need to buy a car you can't afford, get trapped in debt buying furniture that you will never pay off in the 1 year no-interest period, feel the need to be medicated for everything you THINK is wrong with you, devour food that will give you a heart attack and clog your colon and realize that your life is very boring compared to all of those that you are watching. This puts you into a downward spiral of all the things wrong with your life, can you say depressing? Luckily... as I watched TV last night instead of my brain shutting off, I had a brilliant idea for an app to create, and thought of something else to blog about next week. Nope, I am not normal... you read that disclosure and you still drink the Kool-aid so don't blame me!


I hope that you dive deep into who you are, what you want, and what YOU can do to make it all happen. I have been "trapped" in situations that I needed to get out of, I have wanted things I never thought I could get... and I accomplished my goals by making lists. I had the determination to get more out of life; I wanted it bad enough to do whatever it took, and that is how I approach everything now.  You want more? GO get it. Will it be easy, quick and painless? No! But neither is having a child and it's the most amazing thing in the world.  


You truly can do anything you want; where there is a will there is a way and if faith is on your side... well, then ANYTHING is possible.


"When you want something that you think you will never get, make a list of the things that would have to happen in order for it to become a reality; that is your plan. Begin tackling each item on the list one by one. Don't let the lack of money be the obstacle that stops you because EVERYONE can do something else part time to earn more money, you have God given talents... use them. If you aren't willing to do whatever it takes to check off items on the list then you simply don't want it bad enough." ©2012ShelleyGiard

xoxo

~Shells~

Not Just Father's Day....

It's been a very busy week, and I am thankful for that. Busy is good in most scenarios, and this was no exception. Today I am planning to tackle more home projects since I am not able to spend the day with my Dad and my kids are with theirs, but I wanted to post a Father's day message to all of the Dad's out there in honor of YOU today.

That moment when you hold your child for the first time... looking at the tender little face all pink and fuzzy in complete awe that YOU are responsible for creating this little life. The feelings are overwhelming for not only the mother, but for you...the Dad.  You take them home from the hospital and lay awake at night staring at them while they sleep, you kiss them a million times ; a child is a true miracle. Your life flashes before you and the next thing you know they are in kindergarten, all you care about is protecting them with every ounce of who you are, you want them to grow into wonderful young adults and begin to realize time goes by so fast. You play with them, tickle them, scold them when they do wrong because that is your job as a parent, but most of all, you love them with all your heart.

As they hit their adolescent years, they become less interested in hanging out with you, but you do everything you can to keep their attention. You challenge them to a game of driveway basketball, you bet that you can bench press more than they can, or you ask your daughter out on a date to demonstrate how a man should treat her; like a lady. It's time for prom and you watch as your son beams with pride when his date arrives beautifully dressed or you tear up as you see how beautiful your daughter looks in the dress she picked out, makeup on, hair done... and you wonder where the time has gone. You remind her how a man should treat her before she leaves or you tell your son to be a gentleman.

High school graduation has arrived and you are overcome with pride as your graduate walks in cap and gown, you hope that you have done a good job and set a good example, after all YOU are their role model, they WILL follow in your footsteps. They have become what you have taught them to be... and it's now time for them to spread their wings... however you will still be there to catch them if they fall.

Wedding day... an emotional day. Your son has chosen his bride, you daughter has found the perfect gentleman, and you must give her away... although you know you never really can. You stand beside your son as he watches his bride inch down the isle towards him, you hope you have taught him how to be a good husband. Your daughter is locked arm-in-arm with you and you don't want to let go. You know that no other man will love her like you do... but you hope they will love her as they should. You kiss her forehead as you let go of her at the altar and tears roll as you walk away.You have done a good job... she will be okay, and she will always be a Daddy's girl.

Everyone has a Dad, but there are many people out there who have never had a "Father"... my oldest Daughter is one of them. There is an absent feeling inside of her because of it, and I know it will always be there. I played both roles as many women do; and although I never took her on a date, I told her how a man should treat her. I will likely be the one who gives her away and I know that I will tear up as I kiss her on the forehead and walk away hoping that the man she has chosen will love her as much as I do.

To all of the Father's out there... today is a day to celebrate what YOU give to your children... you are awesome! Today is also a day to celebrate the Mothers who are also Fathers... we pull double duty and deserve to be celebrated twice. To all of the children out there who never had a father...celebrate yourselves today for being able to become who you are without them, it's hard and you are amazing. For those who have lost their father... you have fond memories... hang on to them, you were lucky to have had them in your life. And to those of you who are Dad's but have never been a Father... it's never too late to change this. Being a Father means so much more than making a child.

Last but not least... I want to say Happy Father's Day to the men who have stepped into the lives of children that are not their own and who have assumed the Father role. YOU are very special, you have done this out of pure love... not obligation and that is more than amazing. I am lucky enough to have a man in my life who has done just that. Corey Barker... I love you very much; Happy Father's Day, you are amazing to my kids and that in itself warms my heart, they are so lucky to have you in their lives, and so am I.

xoxo

~Shells~

"It takes a moment to be a Dad but to be a Father you must spend a lifetime." ©2012 Shelley Giard

This is my Father his senior year in High School

This is my Dad with my son a week ago during his visit to Florida

An excerpt from my book https://www.facebook.com/INeedTheHappyEnding

My father owned and operated a construction company when I was growing up. The smell of sawdust filled the room whenever he walked in; and to this day, it is one of my favorite smells. I am a Daddy’s girl, I loved being out in the garage with him crafting things out of wood, which was his hobby when not building a home for someone. The smells of stain and shellac are vivid, and to this day, bring me back to my childhood. My Dad is a hard working, amazingly talented and gifted man in his craft. He is a father to four children and a great story teller. The ability to make long stories longer; well… let’s say I get it honestly. He is an amazing singer, it was like growing up in the Partridge family around my house, my mom sang as well and I keep many memories of Dad taking out his guitar and singing tucked away in my mind for days when I need to smile. I LOVED hearing my Dad sing growing up… I still do. He used to sing Sunshine on my Shoulders by John Denver to me at night before bed as a little girl and I have passed the tradition of singing at bedtime on to all four of my kids… I don’t even know if he knows that. Everyone knows my Dad, he rarely meets a stranger and everyone who meets him likes him. He is genuine, transparent and I have to say I am just like him in so many ways. He was a recovered alcoholic; was sober for 8 years before my sister died…