For years I considered my self "un-lucky"; I never even bought lottery tickets for fear that somehow I would get the ticket that would cause me to owe someone rather than win anything. The black cloud seemed to be smothering me because it got bored just hovering over; and despite my positive, optimistic yet somewhat analytical attitude... I managed to trek on in hopes of that "ending" that would make it all worth while. Just two short years ago, even I was beginning to wonder if it was ever going to happen. I began allowing myself to get sucked in by an overwhelming feeling of defeat. After all... that's easy.
However, something that I have always done made me snap out of it and overcome the drowning I was experiencing... and that was the power of words; yep...the books that I often took out in times when I felt swallowed up... I would pull them out just as I was spiraling down the throat of nothingness; and just as always; it worked again. What was this amazing book you ask? Well... it was the book of "me"... the numerous journals that I have kept since I was 10; the very emotions poured out onto the plate of paper that lay before my pen in my times of need. My journals were my reminder that no matter how hard it gets; and how many mistakes you make, it always gets better. I had the proof right there in front of me in MY own words; not someone else's that was luckier than me; not someone who had more time, more money, more freedom... less worry, less children or less energy. It was MY personal roller coaster, my happy moments, my fearful, upsetting, shameful, sad and vulnerable moments all wrapped up page by page. THAT is what kept me going.
As I reflect at this very moment on the last two years; I sigh, smile and even tear up a little at how drastically things have changed for me simply because I put my focus on growth... I seriously said GO! GO! GO! Shelley, and don't stop till you get there! I became my own cheerleader and did not care if anyone believed I could do it or not because I had the belief and that is all that matters when you are trying to grow. Now, I am finally beginning to exhale. Life still has it's ups and downs, and I know it always will; but the greatest thing I've learned is that flat roads are boring leaving you with no anticipation of a climb to the top... so I choose the bumpy, windy road that will lead to my exciting and hopeful Happy Ending... I encourage you to do the same! The road less taken is the road you want to be on unless of course you want to be where everyone else is.
However, something that I have always done made me snap out of it and overcome the drowning I was experiencing... and that was the power of words; yep...the books that I often took out in times when I felt swallowed up... I would pull them out just as I was spiraling down the throat of nothingness; and just as always; it worked again. What was this amazing book you ask? Well... it was the book of "me"... the numerous journals that I have kept since I was 10; the very emotions poured out onto the plate of paper that lay before my pen in my times of need. My journals were my reminder that no matter how hard it gets; and how many mistakes you make, it always gets better. I had the proof right there in front of me in MY own words; not someone else's that was luckier than me; not someone who had more time, more money, more freedom... less worry, less children or less energy. It was MY personal roller coaster, my happy moments, my fearful, upsetting, shameful, sad and vulnerable moments all wrapped up page by page. THAT is what kept me going.
As I reflect at this very moment on the last two years; I sigh, smile and even tear up a little at how drastically things have changed for me simply because I put my focus on growth... I seriously said GO! GO! GO! Shelley, and don't stop till you get there! I became my own cheerleader and did not care if anyone believed I could do it or not because I had the belief and that is all that matters when you are trying to grow. Now, I am finally beginning to exhale. Life still has it's ups and downs, and I know it always will; but the greatest thing I've learned is that flat roads are boring leaving you with no anticipation of a climb to the top... so I choose the bumpy, windy road that will lead to my exciting and hopeful Happy Ending... I encourage you to do the same! The road less taken is the road you want to be on unless of course you want to be where everyone else is.
MORAL OF THIS STORY?
Keep your head high and set your goals higher... the mountainous journey will be worth it!
This actually hung above my desk for the past two years!
I wrote this in permanent magic marker instead of dry erase so I could not make it "disappear"
if I felt I was not achieving... as I had hoped. Try it, it works!
if I felt I was not achieving... as I had hoped. Try it, it works!
Have a great night!
~Shelley~
WOW!!!
I must add a P.S. to this blog! HAHA I love how irony works!
Just as I was posting the picture above I hit the wrong button and lost my screen... when I came back, this blog post was gone! I was sick to my stomach and wanted to cry...
I was in such a groove and then POOF! UGH! ARGH!
However... (haha) being the me that I am, I started recreating it as well as I could from memory instead of hurling my computer across the room which was my first instinct.
Then suddenly I said to myself... WAIT... um hello? It had to be saved as a draft or something right? I searched and searched on this blog dashboard and guess what??? I found the draft!
Guess my "luck" HAS changed! YAY!
UP-FROM-HERE? (Let's hope!)
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