Finding Balance

Tonight as I sit at these keys, SO many things are bottled up in my head. I have had an incredible yet very busy 7 days. My mind and body have yet to slow down or catch up to each other for that matter. Tonight, I am struggling a bit... kind of a battle of the mind and I figured what better way to sort it out than to talk about it in a blog. Sometimes clearing it out of my head onto paper, or in this case the screen... helps me gain a clearer picture of how to solve my struggles and once they are solved I always move forward with better intent. So excuse me while I publicly clear my head; AHEM...

Balance... although one would argue this, I really felt like I had balance in my life. I balance my hairstylist career with my freelance makeup/hair/wardrobe career which I then balance with my inspirational writing/speaking career while being a single (but attached) mother of 4 kids; 3 of whom are still home. Um, yes... I have a child old enough to be living away from home.. she's 21, (cough cough cough) I had her when I was 12 ;)  Anyway... what I thought and felt was that I had balance; and in many ways I still feel that I do. However yesterday afternoon when I dropped my son off to stay the night with my Mom after only being home for two days... after being gone on a 5-day business trip, reality set in. As he sat in the back seat of my mom's car, he had this sad little look on his face that I had to address. I walked around to his door, opened it up and sat beside him. I asked... "Why do you look so sad?" To which he said, "I'm okay." I then said "Mommy isn't trying to get rid of you you know", Tears came to his eyes. BINGO! It literally took everything I had not to choke up. I then said, "Mommy wants to hang out with you SO bad, but I have to work tomorrow and I wanted you to have fun instead of being bored that's all, okay?" He looked at me with those sad little eyes and smiled while trying not to cry. I kissed him on the cheek gave him a hug and moments later they drove off. Needless to say, I cried on the way home.

 Being self- employed for 20 years of my life, I have always run the rat race... I have had to say no to things that were important to me in order to make a living to feed, cloth and support my family. Now, I have finally reached a point where I have more flexibility. I can be home most days when they get home from school, I can cook dinner and help them with homework and even read bedtime stories. The irony is that my career is also finally developing into all that I have worked for... everything I had ever asked for. I am on the verge of gathering the crops that I have spent SO many years planting and cultivating... but since I am not quite there, I still have to say no to things I would rather say yes to, and sometimes it's really hard.

As my 40th birthday quickly approaches, I find myself evaluating where I am, where I had hoped to be at this age and where I want to be in the next five years. I already know many of those answers... but what I also know now is that somewhere in it all, I need to realize that I am no longer that rat on the wheel... I can slow down, stop and rest and perhaps enjoy some of the fruits of my labor. It's hard...because I always seem to be in survival mode. Call it OCD, call it being a work-a-holic, call it single mom syndrome; quite appropriately you could call it all three; but whatever the case may be, I intend to find more balance in this next year. I am going to promise myself to say no when I can, say yes only when I should and never take a single moment for granted.

Many people follow my career and life through social media as well as this blog, and from the outside looking in it seems all glamorous and spectacular. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE what I do, but what I want you to know is that I often sit back looking at what you may think are simple and boring status updates, pictures of you an your kids having fun, pictures of date nights and vacations with your family, husbands, wives or significant others and think... "wow that must be nice."

XOXO

~Shells~ 

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Getting Paid What You Are Worth

First off, I want to say HAPPY TUESDAY and I am sorry that I did not have this post ready for your morning coffee yesterday as usual. I was getting back in my groove because I just got back late Sunday night from a 4-day business trip to Atlanta. I was the personal makeup artist/hair and wardrobe stylist on set for a young new up and coming pop artist named Lia who was shooting the music video for her first single Y.A.L.I. (Young and Living It). I had the privilege of being the same triple threat on set of her first professional photo shoot about a month ago and since she and her parents loved me so much I get to continue working with her as her career rapidly grows and am truly honored! This job was one of "those" jobs... you know, the ones that let you know that all of your hard "working for less than you are worth" jobs do eventually bring you the gigs that make it all worth while.

photo by Russ Robinson Tampa Band Photos

So, as I thought of my blog title, I had a short back and forth conversation with a photographer client of mine who was trying to find out my availability for an upcoming commercial shoot that he wants to hire me for. He was telling me that it was a trade shoot for him,  despite the fact that he will be paying both me and the model out of his own pocket, but that his hopes were that he would get some paid work from them in the future. That inspired my post even more. For those of you who do not know what I am talking about... "trade shoot" is a term in this industry that photographers, models, makeup artists, hair stylists and wardrobe stylists are VERY familiar with and might I add repulsed with. What does it mean? Well it means that you are so awesome that a client wants to "hire" you but that you will NOT be getting paid for your time, efforts, gas, products used or your amazing expertise. It is like bartering with a very short end of the stick that is never being held by the "client".

This term originated and makes sense for people who are "building their book"; industry lingo for needing pictures so you can book paid gigs... it's kind of like proving yourself worthy of hiring. For people starting out, who are not making enough money to fund these expensive projects it makes complete sense. It allows you to work with a team that all have the same goal; to get great pictures that "look" the part even though it cost nothing to put together so you can make thousands of dollars for one day of work. (Hey, it CAN happen) It is also acceptable when an experienced artist or photographer needs some "fresh" stuff for their book, for charity causes or if you are moving into a new genre; say from fashion into swimsuit, but there has to be value to all involved. What is sad and quite ridiculous is that there are WAY too many talented people who are seasoned in this industry who get stuck in this vortex of "working" for FREE. Just because we are "freelance" artists, models and photographers, does NOT mean we are worthless and must work for free. It all boils down to the fact that we get in life what we accept and starving artists tend to accept too much of this. Who in the world works for free? You don't see McDonald's employees working for free until they can prove that they know how to flip a burger or take an order or salt french fries. I just don't understand how COMMERCIAL clients who are obviously making money... in this case,an exotic car dealership, can continue to take advantage of people. Come do this shoot for free so I can use the pictures to make $300,000 selling one car. BLEAGH!

I used to be one of these "starving" underpaid artists, but it came to a point where I decided that I had proven myself, built a book and had a reputation for excellence in all aspects and for the past several years I give people my rates and ask if they are working on a budget the moment someone contacts me. I will work with budgets, not a problem, but unless you are going to add something to my book that is extremely unique or if you have the potential of becoming a frequent ongoing paying client that wants to "test" with me, I no longer work for free. If you cannot afford me then I will help you find someone that needs to build a book. Bottom line, I have a family to clothe and feed and I won't hustle anymore with hopes that I will be worthy enough to gain a dollar later on.

I know that there are some of you who are stuck here... in this pool of unappreciative, blood sucking "clients" that act like you are privileged to be working with them. KNOW YOUR VALUE ; DON'T BE AFRAID of losing people like this. They may keep you busy and you may even get cool pictures, but if they can't appreciate your value then you don't need them in your life. Trust me, someone will come along and pay you more than you are worth, treat you like a rock star and it will make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside!

 I will end this with one one of my quotes 

"We get in life what we accept, 

 sometimes gaining respect means not being the yes guy."  

Shelley Giard 

Have a fabulous week! 

xoxo

~Shells~

It's a Long-Shot but Someone Will Surely Do It

Once upon a time, just about a year ago… I was a makeup artist hoping to stay inspired in something that I loved; to reach out and meet other people who shared the love of makeup and perhaps even meet a few people who shared my love of making others feel good about themselves; to share what makes them who they are, what they want to become and how they plan to get there. Sometimes, it can be a lonely world, because many people in the “normal” daily grind just don’t get this kind of passion… this kind of love.

Artists… they are quirky, precise, anal, obsessive, compulsive, scattered, spirited, fun and often broken… yet passionately focused not only on what they love AT THAT MOMENT, but have an undying love for beauty,  the art of expression, of emotions and acceptance of others in every aspect of life. 22 years after starting my career, I am still in love… it’s the longest love affair I have ever had… and I KNEW there had to be people who shared the same love. Diamonds in the rough, needles in the haystack that we may be… I needed to find them; it became a quest.

November 13, 2012… The Makeup Show Orlando; something that I had heard of but never had the ability to attend… it was always out of state and I was a single mom with no family around working my buns off for years to make ends meet; not an excuse… just a fact. I finally had the money and time to attend; it was coming to Orlando for the first time… only an hour and a half away. I rearranged schedules last minute and even entered their photo contest and became a finalist. My hope was to soak up some knowledge or simply add to my already inspired outlook on what I did for a living, because despite how up and down the career could be… I loved every moment as long as I was creating, learning, putting smiles on people’s faces and sharing my knowledge, strength and wisdom with others around me who cared to listen.

I sat in on a class called “Ten-Words” taught by a man I had never heard of… probably because I had never really used MAC or worked at a makeup counter; but this class sounded like it was right up my alley. As I sat in this classroom with other artists; some who were veterans such as me, and some that were much newer to the industry eager to hear that this career was a good choice. I watched and listened as this man, Michael DeVellis told his story. In just a few moments I knew that this moment was totally on purpose; a pivotal moment in my life; I felt it down to my toes.

As he went down his list of words he got to LONG-SHOT and a tear literally came to my eye… no wait, maybe it was just dirt… nope, it was a tear. My memoir had just released in October and THAT was a long-shot for me, to put myself, my life out there in the raw bare bones to help others… so this word rung in my ears VERY loudly. At the end of the class I stood in line to meet him, I figured I would introduce myself but had no idea as I walked up and handed him a card what I would say. I told him I was an inspirational speaker/author/makeup artist of 22 years and proceeded to say… I love what you are doing, so here’s MY long-shot… I would LOVE to be a part of this… of this thing you are doing in a bigger way. He shook my hand, took my card and listened to what I had to say. 

Since then, I was chosen to attend "Evolution", another event by this “group” that was held in my home state of Massachusetts, the same week I had a book signing in my hometown . It was awesome, and I was so happy to be there and connect in ways I cannot even explain with 19 other artists that shared my love and passion of being a makeup artist. I recently attended his TEN-WORDS event once again… just as a reminder that there ARE people like me… who share that love… who love to inspire and support others in this ever changing career. 

The reason I am sharing this story with my readers, some who may be fellow makeup artists, and many of you who I know that are not, is this...

What is YOUR long-shot? What is it that you would love to do, be a part of, what dream would you  love to come true? We all have something that we wish for, hope for, would LOVE to make happen if obstacles or life did not get in the way. Many great people had a long-shot that they went for... a chance they took when nobody believed they could do it; writing my book and becoming a published author was certainly one of mine. Long-Shots CAN become a reality, but only if you take that chance, take the steps and JUST GO FOR IT! Obstacles are not excuses, they are merely objects...circumstances that we must to overcome in order to achieve our dreams!

Have a great weekend, be safe... 

DREAM BIG and LIVE BIGGER!

XOXO

~Shells~