31 Years Ago Today I Lost a Sister...

~ 31 years ago today my sister Teresa Dawn Giard passed away, 5 days after being involved in a drunk driving accident. It changed the path of my family forever... it branded into our hearts what it means to lose a child and a sister. Although time goes on... that feeling of loss never goes away. My hopes were that my book which was inspired by this very event would be released today, but unfortunately it will be another month, and I accept that knowing that everything in life happens on purpose, there are no accidents. ~

Losing Teresa was the first thought that entered my head this morning as I woke up, just as it has been for the past 30 years; it never fails. Very similar to every July 31st, as it marks the day of the accident and the beginning of the 5-day battle for her life that was eventually lost. It was the beginning of a loss for my faith in God; for why in the world would God take away my 16 year old sister from a family who put God first, family second and everything else last? I was 7 years old and did not understand, and frankly neither did my Mom... my Dad... or my brother. Everything I had learned about God seemed a lie the moment Teresa was gone. In my eyes, He was not protecting us; this had devastated us and created more pain than we knew how to bear. 

As I got older, this feeling did not change until I needed God in my own life and called upon him through prayer to help me through another devastating event. I had been angry for years, but those faithful values came flooding back when I needed something, and I figured maybe He would redeem himself by helping me through my crisis; and lucky for me, he did. 

For years, my sister's death never made sense to me... I suppose my heart had to change in order to understand that nothing happens by accident and that there is truly a plan for each of us to recognize despite all the things that cloud our minds everyday. I have found the "purpose" that was meant for me, and I am going after it full throttle with all my might. The realization of it has changed me inside more than any thing else has ever changed me. My heart changed, my attitude changed, the way I treat people changed and I have no doubt that I am finally on the right path... the one that was intended for me. Everything, every moment, every person that comes into your life serves a purpose and is presented inside of your journey to lead you and guide you in the right direction. Sometimes situations happen more than once because we did not learn the lesson the first time around; have you ever said to yourself... "I cannot believe this happened again!" ? I know that I have, but eventually you will get it, just as I did. There are lessons to be learned in almost everything; pay attention.

My heart aches today because I miss my sister, I miss my family before she was gone... I miss what once was and I suppose that is normal and indefinite. What I know now that I did not know then however, is that without the loss and all the changes that followed... I would be a very different person, my path would have been different and the special people in my life would not be there. I also know that without this tragedy, I would never have written the journal entry on August 5th, 1985 that is now the first paragraph in my first book that has before it's release inspired and touched the lives of other people through the excerpts that I have posted on my fan page. It lead me to achievements I had only dreamt of and made jokes about accomplishing, yet somewhere in the back of my mind I knew I would reach every one. It's ALL on purpose, it's all for the better, even when it seems like it's the worst, I PROMISE.

As I lay my head down tonight, I will think of her... tears will likely fall as they did earlier today as I remembered it all like it was yesterday. The only difference between this year and the years before now is that I know that her death was not in vain, I am doing something with the story... with the experience and because of that I can also be proud of this day and somewhere may be able to  find a smile among the tears that will roll onto my pillow.

The cover of my book which will be released September 2012

To my dear sister Teresa,

I wonder what you would be like today, would you be married? would you have children that I could happily call my nieces and nephews? I wonder what things would have been like had you never left us, I will never know... what I do know is that I know it was God' s plan... he had a reason and I have taken what I felt that reason was for me and written a book in your honor. I want to share with the world that although we may not understand things when they occur, the negative things which happen in our lives can be turned into positive no matter what the situation. I miss you... I love you and I cannot wait to have your face all over the country. It's my mission, my purpose, and your final destiny. Today is the 31st anniversary of the most awful day in our family's lives... we remember you today and everyday.

Love your little sister,
~Shell~ ♥

To follow my book and it's release you can click here https://www.facebook.com/INeedTheHappyEnding
and "like" the page. I now post daily quotes that I write. If you scroll back on the timeline you can read excerpts from the book, because I posted one from each chapter as I wrote it. Thank you for visiting my blog.

xoxo

~Shells~

www.Ineedthehappyending.com