We the People Need to CUT IT OUT!

I would not normally blog about this because I am well on my way of becoming somewhat of a public figure, but it is also because of that I found it necessary to do what I do best and that is to inspire people; to get into the heads of others hoping to make them see things in a different light, to look at the WHOLE picture instead of just SOME of the picture.

If you have a computer (and obviously you do if you are reading this) you know that there is a million things out there flying around that I feel are NOT "politically" correct. I enjoy being a citizen of the USA because I have more choices than if I was not. I am able to do research and form my own opinions based on what I learn. I politely share things that I learn in a non-intrusive, non-abusive way (my blogs and my books) and when I share my opinions I try not to offend others that may think differently because it is their right to feel that way. Why? Well, because that is the beauty of being an American. We have choice... and because of that we are "free", we are not "free" in many other ways because we have laws and rules and well... you get my point. Now... I have been "holding my type" for a few months now even though I wanted to do this much earlier on but after this last week, I had to finally blow this out.

We the people of the "Divided States of America" need to knock it off. I have never seen such division, hate, and gross disrespect for a president and other people in my life. It is sad... really sad. Every president we have ever had made mistakes, and many were REALLY big ones. Every president has been left with a mess to clean up from the one preceding him, some messes bigger and much harder to fix than others, it's part of the job and frankly I commend ANYONE who puts themselves in that line of fire only to be blamed for everything despite the fact that we have had 43 presidents before the current one that have ALL made mistakes, bad choices and lied to sway voters. Yep... George Washington started the ball, but does HE get blamed for anything? Nope. 

You don't have to like Obama, nor do I, but just like our elders he deserves respect; we ALL do.   We must look at the fact that he is not the one who makes all the decisions, he discusses issues that we have (and we have MANY issues) with his "house" of people then it is talked about, voted on, and a final decision is then made, however you are right America... it is all HIS fault. I truly believe that every president goes in with SOME good intentions. I would love to be the one who fixes everything but guess what? You cannot fix people unless they want to change and THAT is the problem. WE have issues because of US, "the people" our attitudes, our hatred towards others and it saddens me that there is more division among the US people and hate than ever in my lifetime. Homosexuals, African Americans, Hispanics, hate them all? Really? I am sorry, I am a Christian who believes that I am not the one who should be casting stones at anyone; that is not my job. 

It is also not my job to shove my opinion down the throats of others and belittle people who may have a different opinion than me. That is a sin if I read my bible right. We can be passionate and stand up for our beliefs, but if someone believes different than us, we should respect that. I will not yell and scream and blast their email and Facebook page with MY opinion, because I don't like being offensive. I have seen droves of people standing behind all this hatred cheering it on. EAT At Chic-Fil-A if you believe that same sex marriage is wrong, boycott Mcdonald's because they back Chic-Fil-A. I am SOOOOO tired of seeing posts on Facebook about Chic-Fil-A and Obama, racial and homosexual hate. I get it... it's election year and slander will be all over our televisions, radios and computer screens until November 1st and that is nothing I look forward to.

I look forward to the day when we all get that respect and equality go hand in hand, that we would all be better off if we just learn to live in harmony and make decisions as the UNITED people not the divided people. I guess I am a modern day hippie... maybe they were onto something; because peace, love and great music does not sound half bad. 

OH! And parading behind someone who disagrees with people for standing up for who they are? Yeah... that does not really strike me as an endearing quality. I love everyone... fat, skinny, black white, yellow, polka dotted, short, tall, pretty, ugly, disabled, male, female, gay, and straight because in all of the diversity you will find interesting conversation, big hearts, lots of laughs, GREAT friends and more love than you can absorb. And with that being said... PEACE OUT!

And PLEASE, feel free to PASS THIS ON....

XOXO

~Shells~

Is It Love or Lust?

With the way most modern traditional relationships begin, this question is all too valid because despite morals, biblical or other faithful teachings, many relationships are consummated way before the ring OR the true commitment. It is because of this that many of us end up wondering at some point whether the "love" we are in is true or not.  Does having sex before marriage mean that the relationship won't last? No. Does it mean that the love is based on sex? Maybe at first, and sometimes it does, but I wholeheartedly believe that true love can be developed even when a relationship starts out with a roll in the sheets.

"True love is visible... it resonates from the two bodies involved. From the smiles on their faces to the way their hands touch, it just shows. It's like the "pregnant glow" a woman gets only it works for the man too. Love shows when one person talks or speaks of the other, words are not harsh or negative... but complimentary and endearing. They speak of the things that make them happy or proud to be in a relationship with that person, not the things that bother them about it. True love may still have it's negative moments, but when it is TRUE those moments don't last very long for true love is stronger than bad moments. Love is when you wake up next to one another and despite the bed head, no makeup and morning breath you are still able to say "that's my sweetie". Love stands up when lust would fail you and although true love IS hard to find; it can be found. Witnessing it can give hope to those who have yet to find it, and those who have found it will always recognize it. Love withstands all things, people who love truly fight differently, they feel differently they look at other pretty women or handsome men differently. It is untouchable, it is real, it is special, it is rare.


Lust has no meaning, very little feeling and only one agenda. It is common, but it is useless because it lasts a short time... sometimes a few months sometimes even a couple of years but at some point it fails and it ends. Will we ever be back to a time when we wait? As a majority, I doubt it, although I am very happy to learn that more high school girls wait longer now. I did not wait more than once in my life and admittedly so it caused a broken heart (more than once) and a harder road in life than I intended to travel. Regret is not something I live with because I have lessons that I now share with others. Waiting may not be cool, it may not be fashionable or trendy but if you want to know whether or not a guy is in love with YOU or what you can "give" him... make him wait. If he loves you he will wait for you because a loving relationship has so much more to it that will sustain it. What you have to give is valuable, it is precious and it should be treated as that. In the days of marriage ending with divorce almost 90% of the time, the odds are against us; we have to change that and it starts with making better choices, giving better advice to our daughters, and teaching our son the value of a woman and true love.


"Don't tell me that I am sexy, tell me that I am beautiful. Don't tell me what you want to do to me, tell me what you can't do without me. Don't tell me what you want me to do, tell me what you hope to do with me. Dream with me, not only about me. Kiss my lips tenderly and treat me with care because my heart is very fragile and you will find that I am rare." ©ShelleyGiard

xoxo

~Shells~

To my friends Todd and Kellie Collins... thanks for showing so many that true love DOES exist. May your journey together lead you into your old age and may you rock on a porch holding hands. 

What is a Friend Anymore?

What a LOADED question indeed! One that is asked often enough to blog about, so here it goes...

Is being able to accept or respond to every phone-call, text message, e-mail, Facebook post or otherwise media communication what it means to be a friend now? I am afraid that with this day and age that is exactly where it is headed. Call me old fashioned but I kind of like the way I was taught to be a friend and that is this...

I am your friend because I pay attention when you need it the most. Theoretically speaking, I am kind of like the person who goes to church on Holidays or special occasions; with me... when you NEED me, I am white on rice baby! I may not be able to be there for every coo or giggle your daughter or son delivers, but when you are having problems with them during the teen years and you call, text or message me? I will drop whatever I am doing if humanly possible and come to your rescue however I can. 

Hello, I am your problem solver friend and I am good to know. Not because I am cute, but because I am a nerd and I care about others. I am passionate to the core and  as positive and forward thinking as they come (unless I am at wit's end... but that's another blog topic.)

What kind of friend are you? Conditional? Occasional? Nevergoaway-onal?  I ask you do dive in and think about the KIND of friend you are. If you are a social media only kind of friend then maybe you should think about that and be sure that it is how you want to be remembered. I had to do this in order to realize the kind of friend I was and what I did not like about my answer I worked on to change. Was it easy? Nope. Did I get used? Yep. Will it be by everyone? No, and that is all that counts.

"It is not quantity that matters, sometimes it just needs to be only one... that one true real genuine person, moment or experience. With just one you are wealthier than most. ©2012 Shelley Giard

Goodnight 

xoxo

~Shells~

"Life is Not Fair"

I don't recall being promised a "fair" life... but I hear people complain all of the time about how unfair theirs is.Where did this complaint originate? Did YOU get promised a life that is supposed to be fair, easy and without struggle? If you did, then someone did you an injustice because nothing is "fair". Life... just like anything else is what we make of it. It is a concoction of the decisions we make, things we do and say all bottled up and shaken with hopes of a good turnout. Once upon a time things were seemingly more fair but today, with the political spin on everything, that has sadly changed. Money and power have replaced fair game and justice, and because of that we have to pay even more attention to what we do if we plan to succeed and get ahead of our game. We have to be "fair" in the decisions we make instead of being corrupt and selfish. We have to be kind and selfless and think of others more than ourselves at times; it's hard... but it's fair and it's morally correct. If fair is what you want, then be fair in your everyday actions.

More judgement is being passed these days then I have ever seen. Many people base their opinions on the opinions of others instead of thinking for themselves and making their own call. Media has tainted our minds, our views and our morals and will continue to do so as long as we believe what we hear and stop our own research. I have never believed everything I have heard ESPECIALLY if it is delivered by the media... a "controlled form of knowledge". When is the last time you turned on the news to hear a "happy story" a feel good, heart felt story that made you feel like maybe there is still good going on out there? How often does this happen anymore? Have we made ourselves glutenous gossip freaks that only want to hear the bad and the ugly? Does the media give us what we want based on the ratings? Yes... of course they do. We want it? we get it. Supply and demand.


I can even prove this fact with my blog stats. I often get creative with my titles to gear what readers click on more and I can tell you that it is the titles that sound a little more controversial or like they could have a bit of a negative connotation that tend to get more clicks. It's funny...and sad... and pathetic that we have become more conditioned to hearing about turmoil, pain and negative news than things that would uplift us, make us smile, make us stress less and worry less and help us be more productive. 


I wish I could flick a switch and change this... but I can't. All I can do is continue to write in hopes of reaching more readers who would rather click on my blog link for a dose of good medicine that can make them smile, laugh or simply just have hope that the "happy ending" is still for the taking"
If you agree.. share my blog. If you don't then maybe you should keep reading until you do.

XOXO

~Shells~

"We were never promised a life that was fair, why do we always expect it to be? Instead, we should look at what we can do to improve how we live it and when things are not "fair" we should recognize that maybe someone is trying to tell us to pay better attention to our actions!" ©2012 Shelley Giard

Scrolling Back in Time....

I am a bit of a Facebook junkie, it is like my television I suppose since I am not a fan of sitting in front of the TV watching the ridiculous shows that grace the screen these days. I love going to people's pages and scrolling back on their timeline to see old posts. I enjoy looking through photo albums, it's kind of fun and often very interesting. You see in real time how people's lives change from one day to the next... from bad day to good day, from family crisis to kids getting on nerves. You see pictures of babies growing up, engagements and marriages occurring and you feel peoples sadness and sorrow in times of loss. It's a constant evolution of things happening and how even when we are at our weakest points, we somehow get through it all. It is wonderful to see how social media has allowed us to connect with people and through these connections we gain moral support, prayers and praise in every aspect of our lives in which we post and share with our Facebook family. We get pats on the back, sympathy and encouragement from people who may have never known what we were going through otherwise.I remember when I rejected the thought of Facebook and am so glad now that I finally accepted it.

How far do you scroll back? Do you do this in your own life? Do you scroll back in time to when your life was different? maybe it was happier once upon a time or maybe it was miserable and you  finally defeated the negative things that were going on. Do you look at old photos and reminisce, reflect and smile at things you may have forgotten? I do and I must say that every time I do I learn something about myself, I realize how I have grown as a person, I learn to appreciate things more and realize that my kids are growing up and that I only have a limited time left with them.

Life gets so busy that we often forget to scroll back and remember a time when we were not where we are today, sometimes it can make you feel proud of your accomplishments and other times it can make you realize that maybe you need to pull that list of goals back out and start checking them off. So I encourage you to scroll back... remember when... and hopefully you too will learn something that you forgot or simply did not realize about yourself.

Have an awesome day! 

xoxo

~Shells~

Another Chapter in Life... Part 2

Continued from last nights blog ... PART 1

  You see, God has plans... BIG ones, for each and every person. The only people who get to realize these plans however, are those who accept that someone else may be in control and allow that "someone" to take over. I can honestly say that I have a had more than a few "heavy hitters" in my life. You know, those times when I had tried everything I knew to try (I always have to do it MY way first), and still had not reached my goal? When this happened I gave it up... to the big man upstairs because I had nothing left. When you are at your wits end, He is the only one that can help. In fact, he often brings you to your lowest places so that you can learn something, and so that you have no choice but to "give up" so he can take the wheel. I don't care how faithful you are... I have friends from all walks of life, all genders, all religions, and all sexual preferences, but when a person is at the bottom of their rope almost everyone will pray or ask their friends to pray for them. I guess God is kind of like the military... he has to break you down in order to build you up; and lucky for us, His way is less abusive.


  Here I was, thinking that my prayers were being answered because my studio became a reality so quickly. I was feeling good and thought that the life I had come to know would soon change for the better; and... it did, just not the way "I" had planned. At twenty weeks, I found out that my unborn child would have Down syndrome and with this news I finally connected with my pregnancy. I suppose that motherly "protective" instinct kicked in and I realized that God was not finished with me yet. What had felt like a curse, quickly turned into a blessing and I knew there was a solid purpose behind it. Over the next two months I paid a lot of attention, I set goals and made plans. Part of that plan was to rid my life of the toxic things around me... and that meant a divorce. 7 months pregnant with three other children at home, I asked my husband to leave. It was no secret that our marriage was not a healthy one, and since he was not willing to do what was necessary to make it better it had to end for the sake of my children. As parents, we are responsible for teaching our children right from wrong... I was not going to have them grow up thinking that this was was the "right" kind of relationship. I knew it would be a tough road but my road up to that point had not been easy and I survived, and knew I would survive this too.


  So... Canvas continued on, and just two and a half weeks after my daughter Abrielle was born I went back to work. It has been a great place. Giving my clients a true one on one experience has been awesome,  there was no more "salon drama" and that added happiness to my life as well. Opening it was such a pivotal moment in my life, and it is really sad to close it up and relocate. However, the past two and a half years have been amazing; a total turn around in every way and it is really exciting.

As I turn the corner to this new chapter in life, I feel good... positive and grateful. I have grown a lot, learned a lot and prayed a lot. I must say that although I am so content I have a feeling He has more in store for me; which leaves me anxious to see what that is! 

I know that this gift was well worth the experience!

Enjoy your weekend everyone... I won't be back to blogging until Monday!

XOXO

~Shells~ 

Another Chapter in Life....

Today was my last day of "slingin' hair" at my hair and makeup studio in Spring Hill. 

It was a 

BITTER

SWEET

DAY

FOUR YEARS AGO...

I opened Canvas Hair and Skin Studio during a significant and pivotal time in my life. I had decided  that I wanted a divorce from my husband when my son Zane was only a few months old. Daycare did not work for my schedule because stylists have to work late, on Saturdays and most major holidays in order to make a good living. I knew that the only way to afford a nanny to keep my 3 children while I worked, was to have my own studio closer to home. I was still commuting to Tampa to work even though I had moved to the small town of Spring Hill a year earlier when my oldest daughter was going into high school. I got uneasy thinking that she would be driving in the midst of the hustle and bustle of Tampa, so moving north and commuting to work seemed a small sacrifice for her safety. 

I set my goal and in Febraury of 2009, with the help of my mother...Canvas Hair Studio opened. Then a few short months later on April 1st, I found out that I was pregnant with my youngest daughter Abrielle. I was devastated, because now I would have to continue the marriage with the man I was hoping to divorce. Being a single mom of 4 just sounded ridiculous, so I did what most would do and stayed. I did not connect at all with the pregnancy,  I was depressed that I was "stuck" and it was the pregnancy's fault. I shudder at this thought today; that I was so selfish to think like that knowing how many people would die for the opportunity to connect to the thought of having a child. It wasn't until I was twenty weeks pregnant that I realized that when we are headed in the wrong direction, God gives us a little nudge to steer us straight again.




To be continued tomorrow...

xoxo

~Shells~