The Prayer of the Fallen Soldier

As I sat in church this morning listening to the pastor deliver an incredible Memorial Day weekend message, feelings stirred inside of me that I was all too familiar with. Feelings that God was once again working in my life, trying to speak to me, to tell me something that I needed to hear; He knew what had been on my heart, and His message came through.

After a busy few weeks, I declared that I would allow my mind to be completely still for that hour today, just as I do every week... it is why I look so forward to going to church; for that quiet time where I can simply receive the blessings that will come with opening my heart to just listen and soak it all in.

With all that I do, I often play tug of war with myself... wondering what I should focus my time on... what my true purpose is with all the talents that I have been given and what is the most important. Finding the "still" in my mind has always been my biggest challenge in this powerful journey that I call life, but when I do, I hear exactly what I am supposed to hear and today was one of those moments.

The message today was about the sacrifice in surrendering, how soldiers sacrifice and surrender their lives. I thought of how they give up their wants and desires to fight for what is right, and just... what will protect and serve our country and its people .. what protects me, and you. This selflessness that so many take for granted, yet we would never know the life that we know now without those sacrifices someone else has encountered for them.

I could not help as the pastor spoke, to think of a dying soldier's last moments... those final moments where his life must flash before him. The visions they must have of family, the happy times, the warmth of the holidays and celebrations of life... all of this in that final moment when a tear rolls down their face and the last breath is taken. Not once, NOT ONCE would they think of the sacrifice they took to get here, or the bad things that life brought their way... their focus in their last moments would be only what is important... and those things are what made them happy. I thought of the call that would be delivered to that soldier's family, the honorable devastation that they would go through in being left behind and was overwhelmed with emotion as I thought of this sacrifice and what it means and gives to each and every one of us.

Tonight, I am thinking of not only our soldiers and what they so selflessly give to us each and every day, but I am also remembering that there was yet another sacrifice that so many take for granted... another sacrifice to save us... to give us the freedom of being forgiven when we fall, for we are all out here fighting a war... we are of human flesh, far from perfect, but the ultimate sacrifice was made to free us of  that bondage, to wipe us clean of all that we will inevitably do, from all that we are expected to fall into throughout our lives if we simply ASK to be cleansed and forgiven.

God knows the land mines we will cross... He knows them all and will speak to us in warning if we listen. However, all too often our own will is too strong and just like the soldier that surrenders his life for his brother and for us knowing he may die by doing so, we will sacrifice the blessings He has in store for us in order to do what we want in that moment leaving us dying inside until we learn to surrender our lives.

These two things became so relative to me and I was inspired to write this blog and call it a prayer... this literally flowed without much thought because that "little voice" told me to just sit down and type;


The Prayer of a Fallen Soldier 
© 2015 Shelley Giard 

I sacrificed for you today; my life... I had a purpose, a cause to fight for and I served for you knowing that I would not come out alive; YOU were more important than me, YOUR life is what I fought for, not mine. I was simply the one who was sent here to carry out this purpose and I hope that in the end of it all, you will remember Me; not take Me for granted and know that I am with you always.

I love all of you, I will never forget you and would die for you all over again if given the chance; I would fight for you again and again. YOU are a soldier too, just like me. You have a cause, a purpose to fight for and I hope you find that gift. My mission is done here, it is up to you to take the things that this sacrifice taught you and share it with others, let them know what it means to surrender, to do whatever it takes for the cause, to lead their lives with purpose and intent, to always stand for what is right but to lay down and surrender when life calls for that moment. If you die in that moment you will be honored and your purpose will be remembered in those moments when it is needed the most.

Don't forget what I did for you, who I am, or why I did what I did. Live each day with the freedoms my life gave to you... never forget why they are there. I love you, and it was all worth it. Know that I love you... unconditionally.  Amen




I encourage you to think about the sacrifices that have been made for YOUR life.. for YOUR purpose and begin to live each day with more meaning... with more intent and with more heart and compassion for others. Remember, we are all soldiers fighting a war;  some are just willing to sacrifice and surrender more than others.

Until next time... 

xoxo

Shells

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Finding the Strength to Forgive Yourself

Yes... it's Sunday.... not Friday when I typically post my thought provoking blog, but as you know, when I skip a day that means it's been a what?... Yep, a busy week. SO two days late always means I will make it up to you with an extra special message and you will still get the Monday blog to start off your week off on a positive note.

I was initially going to write Friday's blog about difficulty in relationships, (it is still on my list) but after speaking at my church last night to two groups of middle school kids, I was really inspired to share a similar message; an "extra special" message with you that I felt some of you may need to hear.

Faithful or not... it is often hard to forgive others for sadness, hurt or disappointment that they have caused. However, an even harder thing to do is to forgive ourselves. We do things that we know are not an example of who we truly are, we give in to things that we end up feeling bad about later and beat ourselves up, holding onto the guilt that goes with it for a very long time. Maybe you said something or did something to someone you care about in the heat of anger, disappointment or frustration that you knew in afterthought was the wrong thing to do or say. Maybe there are things in your past that you are ashamed of; things that only you know and that you would never openly admit to the people around you today. Maybe there is a family member that continuously does things that destroys their integrity or that flaws their relationship with you, but because they are family you simply have to deal with it and you feel guilty for having this "secret"  feeling of animosity towards them.

Regardless of what scenario you can plug yourself into as you read, I want you to know that forgiving yourself is the only way to start the process of healing from the pain, the sadness, and guilt that you carry with you every day and is simply the KEY to moving on. You should realize that we all make mistakes, nobody is perfect; this is most certainly an imperfect world full of imperfect people. Who are we to judge someone for their mistakes or shortcoming or choices when we have so many of our own?

I remember a time in my life when I was very lost, alone and empty inside. I always blamed others for the negative things that had and continued to happen to me. I refused to own up and admit that it was ME who was wrong... that it was ME who made the choices that got me to where I was in life. However, something happened to me inside in a very specific moment of my life and after many years of playing the blame game and spewing that a "God" that I did not even believe in at the time must hate me, I finally owned up and admitted that it was indeed MY fault, that it was ME who made the wrong choices, did the wrong things; and that began my healing process. It was an incredibly pivotal moment in my life. I not only started to forgive myself, but I finally believed that I was worthy of forgiveness from others.

It was so freeing to begin truly forgiving the people who had hurt me... weight of a thousand mountains lifted off of my shoulders and it was then that I started feeling comfortable sharing the truth about who I really was, the truth about the wrongs I had done and I felt that my stories could help others find this freedom I now had. My shame was gone, I was no longer carrying guilt and it felt amazing. I began to apologize to people I had hurt, and still do this today when I slip up; for I am an imperfect person; we all are, and I too allow situations to get the best of me sometimes.

As I spoke to these young kids last night, I was specifically talking about God's forgiveness, and there was a point in my talk where I stated that when true Christians ask for His forgiveness, it is given to us immediately... without hesitation and stated that parents take longer to forgive us than God. I told them that we are all worthy of forgiveness... acceptance, and that we should realize the people around us are as well. I told them that no matter what they have done or what they will do in the many years ahead, that if they keep faith in their heart they never have to worry about carrying the weight of guilt or shame, that if God had forgiven me after all that I had done which included turning away from faith all together, that he would forgive them too. As I watched their innocent young eyes tear up, I knew I had hit home with many of them; it was an incredible feeling.

For any of you reading... faithful or not, forgiving is the act of letting go... it does not mean that we have to forget what happened and it does not mean we have to continue or rekindle a relationship with someone who hurts us... it is simply the act of freeing OURSELVES from the weight and burden that lies on our shoulders and affects us every single day when we hang on to the pain and it also frees the guilt the other person may hold. Forgiveness is the only way to heal from what has happened and it allows us to embrace what we were meant to be... it helps us realize our purpose in life and it is the absolute way to reach all you ever dream of.

If you recall, I mentioned in a recent blog that I had found and contacted the man who was drinking and driving the vehicle that killed my sister 31 years ago. We have continued to send emails back and forth, he has shared his memories of that night with me and when I told him that I forgave him, he told me that my forgiveness was the most amazing gift anyone could have ever given him. Being able to forgive him was also a gift to me, but without me taking that step neither of those gifts would have been received nor would I have the connection to a past full of questions that I now have answers to.

As I close today's post... these are my final thoughts...

How many things are you holding on to that affect you in a negative way?
How many people have you failed to forgive?
Have you forgiven yourself for your own failures and disappointments?

Claim yourself worthy! Forgive yourself, forgive others... and my promise is that you WILL live a happier life.

xoxo

Shells

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