An April Fool's Joke... WAS NO JOKE

   It was April Fool's day 2009, I was at my newly opened hair studio ready to take on the day. I had not been feeling well for a few days... a bit out of sorts, "perhaps a stomach bug" I thought. I had a 6 month old son, two older daughters at home and a marriage that was falling apart. I had decided to end my marriage and was doing what I had to do to prepare... one of those things was to open my own studio again. I had been managing someone else's salon part time after moving into a different county and needed to make more money because I would no longer have a stay-at-home dad around once I made this move. I had just opened my doors in February and was beginning to feel revived and hopeful that I could do this!

   My husband and I had been "mentally separated" for many months... things had been rocky during my pregnancy with our son and after he was born it progressively got worse. I was barely going through the motions trying get through each day. As the day progressed, my stomach was churning even more and I got the uncanny feeling that this feeling was all too familiar. The thoughts that were running through my head made me tremble in disbelief as I had an overwhelming feeling that although my husband and I had been very distant in the bedroom after the birth of my son, that a day two weeks prior when we had tried to intimately reconnect had perhaps left something to linger. I had a break between clients and I ran to the drugstore. I had tears in my eyes as I grabbed the test off the shelf and walked to the counter with fate in my hand.

   I went back to my studio with just enough time to do the test and see the results and the test came back positive, I was pregnant. I went completely numb and don't recall anything else that day except the moment my husband looked at my pale face when I got home that night. He asked me what was wrong and I presume I blurted it out, I really don't remember. I was devastated and he was elated. WHAT? I thought? How could you be happy, and he thought how could you not?  Our minds in that moment were world's apart just as they were on  many other issues.

   Over the next few months I felt that living as I was living would be my life forever... a mother of 4 in a marriage that I would either accept or simply continue wanting to escape from ; both sounded negative to me. However it was where I had ended up with the choices I had made and it was my job to live with it, like it or not. I subconsciously rejected  the pregnancy; I was simply a vessel with cargo doing my daily duty of carrying the load... this is painful to recall as I look back. Then one day... all of that changed. When I was 5 months pregnant I found out my daughter would be born with Down syndrome. What seemingly could have been news that would devastate me even further, ironically gave me an overwhelming feeling of relief that this was not what I had thought at all. I thought that this pregnancy was a curse... a punishment that would keep me in the unhappy life I was in, but getting the news that she would have Down syndrome instantly made me realize I had been chosen to have this child.... she was a blessing in disguise and although I had no idea how this would all play out, I TRUSTED and BELIEVED in the plan for my future. That day, I rubbed my belly with a smile on my face and a tear in my eye speaking to my baby girl for the very first time...  "We are going to be okay, and I know this now."

   Now every April Fool's day as everyone else is playing silly jokes and fooling people with crazy antics, I smile and get a warm feeling remembering the April Fool's day that my "joke" was NO JOKE... it was in fact the biggest blessing of my life!

Today's moral of the story is that even though you may not know the plan that is ahead of you, just know that EVERYTHING is part of the plan.

xoxo 

~Shells~
(As always... if you love it...share it!)

This hangs on a wall in my house... I have stuff like this ALL over the place. I highly recommend daily reminders like this in plain view all over your home and office in order to stay positive.

It will surprise you how your kids pick up on it too!

Oh... and not being a salesman; it's not my style,...fact is that if you want to hear the rest of this story you can find it in my memoir by clicking here:
"I Need the Happy Ending"

Jumping Down syndrome Hurdles

When I was twenty weeks pregnant with my youngest daughter Abrielle, I found out she would be born with Down syndrome. I knew very little about the diagnosis at the time; not realizing that there were differences in every child who had it, just as there are differences with every child that is typical. I was naive as many are about what this meant exactly, but because I felt like God was blessing me in a way that would eventually define itself, I cried only briefly and trusted wholeheartedly from that point on.

I learned as much as I could about Down syndrome and everything I was reading led me to believe that they all had health issues; that they all were born with unhealthy hearts requiring surgery, that they would have digestive issues, bad eyesight, only two lines on their palms, weird toes, crooked teeth, bad hearing and weak muscle tone. As I learned more I knew that time, which I did not really have  would be needed for a child with all of these issues, but I trusted that I would not be given more than I could handle. After all, I had a difficult road thus far and had survived. I always had what I needed even if my wants were forfeited for another day.

When Abrielle was born, she had very few of the "typical" DS markers. She had VERY strong muscle tone, normal toes, typical lines on her hands, 20/20 vision, and acute hearing. She was born with a very small hole in her heart (ASD) that was the caused by her being one month early... not from having Down syndrome; it healed itself within 3 months and now she has a perfectly normal heart that never required surgery. Her only health issues are her sensitivity to dairy and seasonal allergies, both of which she gets from me. (lucky her!)

I have worked with Abrielle so much, I never treated her any different than my other three children, and I really feel that because of that she feels no different. Sure, she learns slower, and she is not talking yet at age 3, but she is tries harder and harder every day with each little push she gets. It is important to embrace Down syndrome as something that will create hurdles, but hurdles are made to jump and these children/adults can jump just as high and often even higher if you encourage them to do so. I have 4 children, and Abrielle aka "Brie"  celebrates her triumphs with huge smiles and an excited applause... and takes every defeat with stride. She is as proud of herself as we are of her, and that  is such a joy to watch.

When adversity paints itself into your life, you have two choices... you can overcome it or allow it to consume you, bathing you with defeat. You can choose the easy way out or take the long road home and enjoy the scenery. It's not always going to be easy... it may NEVER be easy but does that mean you should quit? NO! Absolutely not! If you quit you will never know victory, and if you never know victory you will never understand the purpose of defeat.

Although this video of Abrielle is old... (I think she was a little over 1 year old at the time) it is still by far one of the most inspiring videos I have seen, and it's not because she is my little girl. As you watch it remember this; she has every reason to give up... but because I refuse to let her know that she just keeps trying... we can all learn from that.

CLICK HERE TO SEE BRIE'S VIDEO 

"DETERMINATION"

http://youtu.be/jcMQ6-vfRzg

God DID give me more than I can handle... more love, more smiles, more lessons, and more to share by presenting me with this precious gift of a special child. Her existence has taught me more and changed me more than I ever thought possible. She WAS a blessing... truly, the most amazing one of my life.

Over the next few weeks I will be preparing her annual video for World Down syndrome Day, (3-21) and I cannot WAIT to share it with you. Until then, I hope that you enjoyED this video and share this blog post with everyone you know. There is power in numbers... and in order to change the way people see these special people who have been put here on earth to change our hearts, we must share the stories, share the defeat, share the joys and share the grief of what happens to us in our lives.

Wishing you all a great evening, a warm heart, and a glimmer of hope when you need it most!

xoxo

~Shells~