AN AMAZING LITTLE GIRL....

Hi Everyone! So... my last blog post was about finding balance, and although you have not heard from me since last Monday, I can assure you that even though I have been busy, I managed to find some of that balance I was talking about which is why I set my usual weekend blog aside to spend some much needed time with friends and family. Since last Monday's post, my daughter Abrielle who many of you know through my blogs and social media turned 4 years old. It was a crazy busy week because I had just gotten back from a business trip, but in the midst of all of my scrambling, I found balance and took time to celebrate this little girl's life. She means the world to me, just like all my kids do, and although I don't pick "favorites" I do pick favorite things from each child and I am going to share my most favorite things about Abrielle with you tonight.

As Down syndrome Awareness Month quickly speeds by, I am reminded that October once meant nothing more to me than costumes and candy. I did not know that this month was used to spread awareness of how incredibly inspiring these special human beings; NOT mongoloids as they were once called, truly were. It wasn't until I entered this "world" that I was made "AWARE" of what it meant to have and live with Down syndrome. I had no idea the impact one person could truly have on my life, how incredibly and insanely resilient a little girl could be as an infant, a toddler, until I was surrounded by her presence each and every day, living through each and every milestone she has reached. God brought her into my life during a time when I was sad and empty inside; he knew I no longer needed struggles, I had experienced enough of those... he knew what I needed were miracles, smiles... laughter and something to make me appreciate every single day. I stopped worrying about the things I cannot change and my motto of embracing the journey ahead of me no matter what that may be strengthened through the life of this little girl. Abrielle was the beginning of many, many blessings ahead that I am not sure I would have recognized without her. She truly changed me for the better.

I know I talk a lot about Brie, and I hope that you don't get sick of it. Some people think that those of us with "special" children talk about them all the time so we can convince ourselves that they are worthy of being here... to be included in society just as the rest of us are. I will tell you that we are the LAST ones that need to be convinced, we live these special lives each and every day, we walk the walk, talk the talk, zip up the jackets and lace up the running shoes as we clear our throats and advocate for our children who we KNOW belong in society, who we KNOW should be included in classrooms next to your child, who are a blessing to all who can get past their disabilities and see their smiles, experience their innocent laughter and feel the warmth that pierces your heart when you know a child who is "special". My wish is that people all over the world... not just in "our world" know the significance of this month of awareness and of these people. My hope is that you will help spread that awareness with me so that more people know that these are lives worth living...worth keeping, worth celebrating more than they will ever know. I may be one of the luckier ones whose child has a mild case, but I do not know one parent personally no matter how severe the case that would say that their child is not a blessing, and that goes for my friends that have children with other diagnosis' as well. Sometimes I feel they are capable of teaching us more than we teach them.

You are right when you say we are trying to convince, but it is not ourselves... it is those that think our children still need to be in institutions, that think that they don't deserve a privileged life like we do... the ones that try to convince parents with a prenatal diagnosis to rid themselves of a future burden. 92% of people rid themselves of that burden when Down syndrome is the diagnosis. I can assure you that my daughter has not been a burden to anyone, including me. She is a bright little star that I would not want to live without and is smarter than I was told she could be. TRUST me when I say that I have a little MacGyver on my hands; she is pretty amazing which is why I nick-named her "My amazing Brie."


Earlier this month, I began a fundraiser in honor of my daughter. Our mission is to give back to the Ronald McDonald house in Tampa who gave me a place to sleep so I could be close to Abrielle during her hospital stay after she was born. I have been so busy this month that I have not been able to actively pursue my goal to raise that $2,000 for this amazing place for parents with ill and dying children. The good news is, I have all of  YOU and together WE still have 10 days to raise the money! No matter what amount I collect, I will give every penny to them, but I would LOVE to see us reach our goal. It is so small a number yet will go SO far to help buy food, cleaning supplies and toiletries for the guests that stay there. I will be making my personal donation on the last day of this month but would like to see how far we can get. Will you help me? If I can raise just $196 every day for the next 10 days we will meet our goal. That roughly boils down to twenty people giving $10 for the next 10 days. Not too hard to reach if you think about it like that. How many people do you engage with on Facebook who may find it in their heart to read this blog, be touched and give a small donation to an amazing cause? What about you? Can you spare $5, $10, $20 to help someone have peace of mind that they have a place to stay that is close to their child who is suffering or struggling, who may be simply waiting to breathe their last breath?

At the end of this blog post , I will share with you my daughter's 3rd year of life... we have been posting a birthday video every year since she turned 2 to her Awareness Channel on You Tube, and we have posted several milestone videos as well. Feel free to watch as many as you have time for. We hope it inspires you, touches you and perhaps even changes how you may look at someone with Down syndrome or another diagnosis the next time you see them out in public. As promised in the beginning of this blog, I will now share 5 of my favorite things about Brie....

Her giggle is the cutest thing I have ever heard...

Her smile can turn my bad days around on a dime...

The peacefulness she possesses every day; not a care in the world...

Even when she is being a stinker she can make me smile...

AND

Her determination to be ALL that she can be, which to us and

to her is EVERYTHING and MORE than everyone else around her.

PLEASE will you help us reach our goal?

(click the link below to support our cause)

https://fundly.com/my-amazing-little-brie#home

Here is Brie's You Tube Channel... Go pop some corn and watch a few of our videos! 

The latest being her 3rd year of life

http://www.youtube.com/user/MyAmazingBrie

NOW CLICK SHARE !

XOXO

~SHELLS~

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A Very Special Blog... PLEASE SHARE

I have never included the words "PLEASE SHARE" in my blog title, although my hopes are that you will share each and every post with someone that you know who would benefit from it. I write to touch the lives of others in a memorable way. I know how important that is... that good advice, those words of wisdom, that moment that sits in your gut, stays on your mind, but later sinks in, warms your heart, and changes you. That is why I am here writing right now... on Tuesday instead of Monday. Today is a very special beginning; it's the beginning to a month that not only changed me for the better, it helped me find my purpose in life.

Today is the first day of 

Down syndrome Awareness Month 

and in honor of my sweet little daughter Abrielle aka "Brie" who will be 4 this month, I bring to you this blog.

Life is always a journey... no matter who you are, but when you are lucky enough to be blessed with a special person such as my daughter Brie, your journey changes for the better. There are things as a mom I see now that I never saw before; even after already having 3 other children. The patience I have gained has been tremendous and the coldness that once settled into my heart from the people who had hurt me in my past has melted away taking that bitter unforgiving elephant off of my shoulders. It feels good; my heart truly changed when Abrielle arrived. I no longer take anything for granted, I respect everyone I meet, say hello to strangers; even the strange ones, and speak up for what's right when I feel the urge, not worrying about what others may think because of it. I don't care about meaningless material things but appreciate the little things that matter most, I look at everything that comes my way as an opportunity to open another door; it normally does. I have learned to celebrate the small victories as much, if not more than the big ones. I have been taught that everyone has a circumstance and we don't always know what that circumstance is and that kindness is a must regardless of what situations appear to be. I have become more sensitive to the feelings of others even though I was too sensitive already. I am content and wake up every day knowing that each and every moment has a purpose in my life.

I will warn you, when I am passionate about something I am a bit obsessive about it but in a VERY positive and healthy way. Quite frankly it helps me stay true to myself and often helps change the way others think which in turn helps change the world. (bold statements are my forté) With that being said... I will be sharing very special posts every day this month on my author page on Facebook  in honor of my daughter. They are very close to my heart... just like she is. What I ask is that you help me raise awareness by sharing this blog post to help me reach as many lives as possible. You can even "like" my page if you enjoy what you see, my posts are always uplifting. I also promise I don't over-update and chew up your feed (that's annoying).

By sharing this post, you may help save a life. There may be a person right now trying to make that fatal decision and if you share this they may stumble upon it and change their mind. PLEASE help me spread the smiles I am warmed by every single day. PLEASE help me bring the rate of termination down through awareness... you would do it for a puppy or a kitten about to be euthanized right?

(Excerpt taken from DiscoverMagazine.com)

…Termination rates varied across conditions. They were highest following a prenatal diagnosis of Down syndrome (92 per cent; CI: 91 per cent to 93 per cent) 

I still remember when those papers were pushed across the desk at me after confirming my baby's diagnosis. It's as if it were being suggested that is what I should do after finding out through a mandatory screening and a recommended amniocentesis that she had Trisomy 21/ aka Down syndrome. I was 20 weeks pregnant at the time and had seen Abrielle on an ultrasound sucking her thumb. Was I supposed to do this because she wasn't perfect? Was I supposed to do this because raising her would be so hard? Or was it so that she wouldn't be a burden on society and it's tax dollars one day? I had a choice but for me... there was no option. Just like every other hill I had to climb in life, I was going to climb this one too. I was not going to be of that 92% .... who IS perfect? What child is EASY to raise? I chose the low road and because of that, I won the biggest blessings of my life. My life has not only turned around,  but I have complete clarity and peace for the first time ever.

Tonight's blog is to get you to think... not about abortion, and not ONLY about Down syndrome. It is to help you think about how you approach the unexpected, how you handle the roadblocks and the hills you come to? Do you bail out, turn around, give up, follow what everyone else does? If you said "no"... then keep pushing and don't stop, your reward is waiting. If you answered  "yes", I am here to put it to you bluntly; YOU WON'T WIN. I encourage you to change... right now; embrace your roadblocks, attack those hills with Z-FORCE and NEVER EVER GIVE UP; for the obstacles in life will lead you to your dreams!

XOXO 

Shells!

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Look Out! "Advice From Shells" Is Born!

Call me crazy, (I kind of look it in this picture) but I just love that so many people call on me when they are having a bad day... a tough time... when they want to complain, gripe and moan; and no, I am not being sarcastic. I like it because it gives me great blog ideas... and also because I love knowing that the reason that they call me or email me is because they know that I will have something positive to say, some words of wisdom  that will make them think about their situation differently or completely snap them out of their pity party or problem all together. Yep, I have become THAT girl... the one that so many people trust with their thoughts, hiccups and emotions; I am kind of like Dear Abby but younger and cuter. (ha!) I really enjoy being that person... like really... a WHOLE lot!

Today, I had a few of these "moments". One was with a haircolor client (and friend) that I had this morning who is having a terrible skin issue. She has been to three dermatologists and it is getting worse. She told me how excited she was to have her appointment today so she could get my advice. I was flattered. I am such a complete geek when it comes to ingredients and when I say geek I mean I am one of those weirdos that can turn a bottle around and tell you what stuff is and what purpose it serves or what ailment it causes; I take it to a level where few men have gone before. Long story short (I stink at that by the way) After diagnosing her "condition" as Eczema with one quick look,  I talked through her issues, asked her some important questions and then out came this encyclopedia of knowledge that I have soaked up by reading and learning for so many years. She was amazed at all the information that I offered and had a few "aha" moments as we talked. I wrote the bullet points down for her, made her a nice healthy snack when she told me she felt her sugar dropping and sent her away with smiles and  a feeling of hope that she would soon itch no more. My face was smiling too.

I then had a trip to the pediatrician for my youngest daughter Abrielle who has had some wheezing and a little cough going on for a few days. Since I am leaving on a 10-day business trip Monday I had to make sure my little muffin would be okay. Last time this happened I was gone on business and she ended up in the hospital with mild Pneumonia. Did not want THAT to happen again. After a breathing treatment and an ear infection diagnosis, we went home with an antibiotic and an order to do breathing treatments every 4 hours until Friday. Good thing she doesn't mind the mask! No hospital this time, yay!



By the time the afternoon rolled around I was worn out but still had a ton to do so I pushed myself to get it all done, no excuses! (see how tired I look in the photo above? yeah, that sexiness was NOT compliments of Photoshop I tell ya!) I went to the store to get a few things and on the way home I called a friend whose call I had missed earlier. (My car is my office) When I asked her how she was doing she began to vent, and I instantly realized how nice it was to not be the type to join in on the "party" anymore and let others negative moods drag me down. I listened to her and then voiced my thoughts on everything. A conversation began about how she "doesn't have the time" to do things that she wants to do and as I spoke my words of wisdom she knew I was right as much as she knew how honest I would be with her when she called, which is why she called.

When she told me her job "sucked" this is what I said ...
"You know, you have SO many talents that you waste by not using them... things that make you happy, I have seen the smile that some of these things bring you when you get the chance to do them. You could start doing them as a hobby and perhaps later turn those hobbies into some extra money and who knows how it could blossom from there. No strings, no risk, and it could help you find a "happy place".

Her answer was... "I don't have the time."

My answer to that was...
"Listen, I have people ask me all of the time how I do all that I do, even YOU ask me that and my answer is always the same. I MAKE the time to do what makes me happy and puts a smile on my face. YOU of all people know that I can get stressed, which is why it is so important that I do things that make me happy all of the time. If I waited to have the time, I would NEVER have it, so I have to CREATE the time and when you do that you will find it without a problem."

I love this friend so much and want  peace and happiness for her more than she will ever know; it's something I want for a lot of people. I think that is why I do so much to enrich the lives of others. I REALLY WANT TO SAVE THE WORLD (Where's my cape?) There is more to her story and my advice to her, but I am going to save this little gem as the prototype for an idea that was born as I thought about things tonight. At first I thought "I will blog about this"... (I am sort of doing that right now) but then after getting home I said to myself..."I am onto something here, Advice From Shells... hmmmm a cyber world of advice where people can email me and I can offer advice to them and others who may be dealing with the same issue in a way that I haven't done before. I am kind of excited but have to figure out the details and get back to ya! Promise there will be an update on this! And for those of you who are shaking your head right now, NO! I am not adding to my plate I DO THIS ALREADY I am just thinking of a way to do it differently, more efficiently and more effectively. It happens, that's my brain love it or hate it...don't care either way.

Well, if there is a moral to this blog post, I would have to say there are two...

"Never say you don't have time.... that's just another way of saying you don't want  it bad enough"

  

~AND~

"Being the voice of reason is like being a best friend to many people, you have no choice but to remove your own feelings in order to help them and enrich their life... it's selfless, educational and pretty darn awesome"

Hugs to all!

Thanks for reading!

xoxo

~Shells~

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An April Fool's Joke... WAS NO JOKE

   It was April Fool's day 2009, I was at my newly opened hair studio ready to take on the day. I had not been feeling well for a few days... a bit out of sorts, "perhaps a stomach bug" I thought. I had a 6 month old son, two older daughters at home and a marriage that was falling apart. I had decided to end my marriage and was doing what I had to do to prepare... one of those things was to open my own studio again. I had been managing someone else's salon part time after moving into a different county and needed to make more money because I would no longer have a stay-at-home dad around once I made this move. I had just opened my doors in February and was beginning to feel revived and hopeful that I could do this!

   My husband and I had been "mentally separated" for many months... things had been rocky during my pregnancy with our son and after he was born it progressively got worse. I was barely going through the motions trying get through each day. As the day progressed, my stomach was churning even more and I got the uncanny feeling that this feeling was all too familiar. The thoughts that were running through my head made me tremble in disbelief as I had an overwhelming feeling that although my husband and I had been very distant in the bedroom after the birth of my son, that a day two weeks prior when we had tried to intimately reconnect had perhaps left something to linger. I had a break between clients and I ran to the drugstore. I had tears in my eyes as I grabbed the test off the shelf and walked to the counter with fate in my hand.

   I went back to my studio with just enough time to do the test and see the results and the test came back positive, I was pregnant. I went completely numb and don't recall anything else that day except the moment my husband looked at my pale face when I got home that night. He asked me what was wrong and I presume I blurted it out, I really don't remember. I was devastated and he was elated. WHAT? I thought? How could you be happy, and he thought how could you not?  Our minds in that moment were world's apart just as they were on  many other issues.

   Over the next few months I felt that living as I was living would be my life forever... a mother of 4 in a marriage that I would either accept or simply continue wanting to escape from ; both sounded negative to me. However it was where I had ended up with the choices I had made and it was my job to live with it, like it or not. I subconsciously rejected  the pregnancy; I was simply a vessel with cargo doing my daily duty of carrying the load... this is painful to recall as I look back. Then one day... all of that changed. When I was 5 months pregnant I found out my daughter would be born with Down syndrome. What seemingly could have been news that would devastate me even further, ironically gave me an overwhelming feeling of relief that this was not what I had thought at all. I thought that this pregnancy was a curse... a punishment that would keep me in the unhappy life I was in, but getting the news that she would have Down syndrome instantly made me realize I had been chosen to have this child.... she was a blessing in disguise and although I had no idea how this would all play out, I TRUSTED and BELIEVED in the plan for my future. That day, I rubbed my belly with a smile on my face and a tear in my eye speaking to my baby girl for the very first time...  "We are going to be okay, and I know this now."

   Now every April Fool's day as everyone else is playing silly jokes and fooling people with crazy antics, I smile and get a warm feeling remembering the April Fool's day that my "joke" was NO JOKE... it was in fact the biggest blessing of my life!

Today's moral of the story is that even though you may not know the plan that is ahead of you, just know that EVERYTHING is part of the plan.

xoxo 

~Shells~
(As always... if you love it...share it!)

This hangs on a wall in my house... I have stuff like this ALL over the place. I highly recommend daily reminders like this in plain view all over your home and office in order to stay positive.

It will surprise you how your kids pick up on it too!

Oh... and not being a salesman; it's not my style,...fact is that if you want to hear the rest of this story you can find it in my memoir by clicking here:
"I Need the Happy Ending"

Jumping Down syndrome Hurdles

When I was twenty weeks pregnant with my youngest daughter Abrielle, I found out she would be born with Down syndrome. I knew very little about the diagnosis at the time; not realizing that there were differences in every child who had it, just as there are differences with every child that is typical. I was naive as many are about what this meant exactly, but because I felt like God was blessing me in a way that would eventually define itself, I cried only briefly and trusted wholeheartedly from that point on.

I learned as much as I could about Down syndrome and everything I was reading led me to believe that they all had health issues; that they all were born with unhealthy hearts requiring surgery, that they would have digestive issues, bad eyesight, only two lines on their palms, weird toes, crooked teeth, bad hearing and weak muscle tone. As I learned more I knew that time, which I did not really have  would be needed for a child with all of these issues, but I trusted that I would not be given more than I could handle. After all, I had a difficult road thus far and had survived. I always had what I needed even if my wants were forfeited for another day.

When Abrielle was born, she had very few of the "typical" DS markers. She had VERY strong muscle tone, normal toes, typical lines on her hands, 20/20 vision, and acute hearing. She was born with a very small hole in her heart (ASD) that was the caused by her being one month early... not from having Down syndrome; it healed itself within 3 months and now she has a perfectly normal heart that never required surgery. Her only health issues are her sensitivity to dairy and seasonal allergies, both of which she gets from me. (lucky her!)

I have worked with Abrielle so much, I never treated her any different than my other three children, and I really feel that because of that she feels no different. Sure, she learns slower, and she is not talking yet at age 3, but she is tries harder and harder every day with each little push she gets. It is important to embrace Down syndrome as something that will create hurdles, but hurdles are made to jump and these children/adults can jump just as high and often even higher if you encourage them to do so. I have 4 children, and Abrielle aka "Brie"  celebrates her triumphs with huge smiles and an excited applause... and takes every defeat with stride. She is as proud of herself as we are of her, and that  is such a joy to watch.

When adversity paints itself into your life, you have two choices... you can overcome it or allow it to consume you, bathing you with defeat. You can choose the easy way out or take the long road home and enjoy the scenery. It's not always going to be easy... it may NEVER be easy but does that mean you should quit? NO! Absolutely not! If you quit you will never know victory, and if you never know victory you will never understand the purpose of defeat.

Although this video of Abrielle is old... (I think she was a little over 1 year old at the time) it is still by far one of the most inspiring videos I have seen, and it's not because she is my little girl. As you watch it remember this; she has every reason to give up... but because I refuse to let her know that she just keeps trying... we can all learn from that.

CLICK HERE TO SEE BRIE'S VIDEO 

"DETERMINATION"

http://youtu.be/jcMQ6-vfRzg

God DID give me more than I can handle... more love, more smiles, more lessons, and more to share by presenting me with this precious gift of a special child. Her existence has taught me more and changed me more than I ever thought possible. She WAS a blessing... truly, the most amazing one of my life.

Over the next few weeks I will be preparing her annual video for World Down syndrome Day, (3-21) and I cannot WAIT to share it with you. Until then, I hope that you enjoyED this video and share this blog post with everyone you know. There is power in numbers... and in order to change the way people see these special people who have been put here on earth to change our hearts, we must share the stories, share the defeat, share the joys and share the grief of what happens to us in our lives.

Wishing you all a great evening, a warm heart, and a glimmer of hope when you need it most!

xoxo

~Shells~