Thoughts on the Reality of Depression

The brain is our most powerful organ; the mouth our second. Some people do all they can to utilize their brain to it's full capacity by pushing it to limits, some consistently waste it, some don't have the ability to express what their brain is capable of due to a disability and then there are those who struggle every day with chemical imbalances that cause depression even when there is nothing to be depressed about. It is very sad that a man with talents we dream of having and success that many of us strive for dealt with the demons of depression so intensely that he took his own life. Why he did not seek help is hard to understand... but then I think, maybe nobody opened their mouth to ask him if he was okay or help him; perhaps nobody noticed he was suffering from depression. His long struggle with alcoholism was what people knew of, typically a vice signaling a deeper issue. People with TRUE depression often hide the signals very well, they do not seek attention and usually suffer internally.

I have said many times that what you see on the outside is not always a reflection of what is on the inside and vice versa. Don't be fooled by a smile, don't walk away from a frown because we all have issues and sometimes just need someone to dig deeper. Judge a little less, have compassion a little more and pay attention to the "energies" around you. Be the person who offers an ear or a friend when nobody else will and do all that you can to shine light on everyone you come in contact with; you could be the difference in the choice of life or death for them.

In my book, I tell a story of an old client of mine who came to see me on the day she had planned to commit suicide knowing that I would would say something to keep her from it without even knowing that she was planning to do it. To this day the realization that I was that light for someone sends chills up my spine but makes me smile knowing that something I said had that kind of impact. I knew she was struggling with some things, I felt it, she always asked about me... and I finally asked questions about her... dug deeper at every appointment and offered a positive side to what she was going through the best I knew how at 20 years old.

Death in any manner is sad,whether in suicide, murder, famine, or war... but is undeniably our fate. Do what you can to keep it from happening prematurely. Get help if you need it, please don't be afraid to ask or talk to someone... you are only alone if you make that choice.

Rest in peace #RobinWilliams, as sad as we are that you will not bring us new laughter and joy with your incredible talent, this is a strong reminder that depression is real and it strikes all kinds of people... even those that we could never imagine.

What if We Were All Thin and Beautiful?... Living in a World of Insecurity

The idea for this blog post was triggered as I scrolled through Facebook last night and came across a post written by Christopher Wright; one of my beauty photographer friends. (No worries, I got his permission to use his post and his name; I am legal like that.) As a makeup artist who works with models on a weekly and sometimes daily basis, I am surrounded by an industry where being beautiful matters most. I often think back to my adolescence when I felt like I did not fit in, when I was a bit muscular from being involved in gymnastics yet surrounded by skinny girls who were really popular... I felt fat at 100 lbs, 100 SOLID lbs. and I have been 5'7 since I was about 13 years old. 100 lbs at 5'7? ummm yeah, that's skinny no matter how you look at it, but I felt fat and stopped eating... yep, I was anorexic for a short time until I passed out one day on the band field and it scared me enough to stop. I was made fun of for many different reasons... my Yankee accent which really stood out in a southern school, my name which rhymed with "smelly" and even though I never smelled bad it somehow became my first name on the playground in 4th grade, my freckles... which I hated for years... my flat chest, and then there were reasons that I never knew and probably some instances where there was simply no reason at all.

So here was his post:
"Honestly. Not only as a model but as human you would think someone would know better. To take a picture of a woman who is out to dinner and then post it and ridicule her for having a high forehead. Being catty is one thing but that just borders on being a douche bag. Hell, as far as I am concerned she crossed the border."

Umm... YEAH, I strongly agree. I don't know who this model was, but shame on her! This kind of thing puts me up on my soapbox and reminds me of a conversation that I was JUST having with my 11 year old daughter Baleigh yesterday when it was mentioned that she told my mom she was old and wrinkly. I was furious and gave her a lecture from the core of my soul. Making fun of someone for having a big forehead? Really? For a model to do this makes it even worse. The modeling world is the most unhealthy, critical society of all, as if the real world isn't bad enough with stuff like "she's too fat, look how big and pregnant she is, look at those acne scars, what a big butt, get yourself on a treadmill, do you shop at Goodwill?, looks like ugly smacked you and ran, look how skinny she is, ribs are not attractive, go eat a cheeseburger, and the list rolls on and on. It honestly makes me crazy and I have told my children that if I EVER hear anything like this come out of their mouth they will not enjoy the consequences, and my daughter got her fill of consequences when I heard that she said this about my mom which by the way, my mom is beautiful inside and out, she rocks 66 like Vanna White!

As if we do not know, the focus is in the wrong place people... and this model proves that. If you are going to take a photo of a random woman who is enjoying a Friday night out at a restaurant and exploit her forehead on Facebook to the world then YOU my dear are as ugly as they come, I don't care WHAT your portfolio looks like! This model will meet karma one day and I hope someone takes a picture of that and posts it on Facebook. Okay, I feel my blood starting to boil so I better take it down a notch and get my lesson out before I say words I shouldn't say.

There is beauty in all things, (although questionable when discussing this model's character) Beauty comes from within even when it's not on the outside. A kiwi is pretty darn hideous until you peel it and taste it, right? Some of the BEST people and the BEST things come in packages that are not that attractive, don't be the unlucky one that is so shallow as to never get to experience these things and get to know these people. 

People commit suicide for things like this, people die from eating disorders such as anorexia and bulimia, people die under the knife trying to make their bodies and their faces perfect according to society, it's NOT a laughing matter and if you are one of the people that would post something like this I hope that I get into your head. I recently read a story of a young girl who hung herself because someone posted a humiliating picture of her on Facebook and she was taunted by it. It happens every single day and it's sad. Bullying is real, it is disgraceful and I for one will not stand for it in my home or if I am out with anyone and it happens. Teach your kids to focus on people for who they are not what they wear, what they look like or how much they have. If you are with a group of friends and someone does something like this, do what I do... call them out, be the better person, throw them under the bus, embarrass them for a change because it's the right thing to do. 

That's all... I am hopping down from my soapbox 

Have an awesome weekend

xoxo

~Shells~