The Grass IS Greener Sometimes

Today's blog leaves a strong message in short form. So here it is...

I would like to share an excerpt from my second book which I am currently writing... I hope it inspires you in some way and that you can share this blog post with someone who needs it.

If you have not read my first book, follow the links at the bottom of this post to get one before the next one releases in 2015.

"Life is something that constantly moves; sometimes forward, sometimes back. Often enough to mention, we find ourselves in a vicious circle or in a place that feels familiar as if we have been there before even though it is a completely different experience altogether. I encourage you to pay attention to these moments the most, for I truly believe that these are the moments that show back up to see if we do the same thing we did before. I believe these are our chances to rewrite our story using the lessons we have learned in the past. I also believe that we will continue to be caught up in these circles until we finally get it right; for my life… that explains a lot.

Many people think that they have no control over what lies ahead; I am here to say that is the farthest thing from the truth. As I am constantly setting goals, reaching them and setting new… I know that every move or decision I make has EVERYTHING to do with where my life will end up. If only I could control the behavior of others as much as I could mine… life would be much easier and quite frankly a lot less frustrating. The problem lies in a person’s lack of responsibility for the actions not wanting to admit they screwed up… again. Not admitting that you should have, could have, would have, but didn't is destructive behavior that will not only ruin your spirit and mind but also the relationships with all the people that surround you. You must first accept responsibility, apologize when necessary and finally you must forgive yourself instead of carrying guilt on our shoulders. Guilt is a happy killer… it will suck you in and never let go if you allow it to. Guilt will cause you to make bad decisions, stay in relationships and friendships that you have no business staying in and will likely keep you from accomplishing anything new simply because you beat yourself up to a point of losing belief that you can do any better; when you stop believing in yourself… it’s over. "

         
         There are a lot of cliché sayings out there, some of them wise and absolute while others have exceptions. True... the grass is not always greener on the other side... but in some cases it is not only greener but it is softer, smells fresher and has far less weeds! What in the world do I mean? ...  let me explain myself. Would you agree that we all get ourselves into situations that we later wish we could get out of? Many of us even wish we had never made the choice that got us there... we have all made mistakes and realized those mistakes too late. God knows that I am guilty of this in my past and even in my present. In my opinion, this is when the grass IS greener on the other side.

       Know that every step is part of your journey; embrace it. When you find yourself swallowed up in circumstances that you wish you could have avoided and you have to go into survival mode or put on your problem solving hat to figure out what to do, put your focus NOT on where you are, but rather on that greener pasture that is out there waiting for you to roll around in once you figure it all out. Things always get better when you focus on how it's going to be better instead of how it got so difficult.  It amazes me at how rapidly life can change... how in just a few short months everything you know as your normal can be turned upside down leaving you both scared and excited of what is to come in the days ahead. My life is constantly moving... I am NOT afraid of change. Change has always proven good for me, it led me into new things, things that I may never have experienced if I had not taken that leap of faith. Fear and complacency will get you nowhere. That GUT feeling that is telling you to do something is usually right, but unless you GO FOR IT you will never know what it can offer your life. Do you want to die wondering "what if?"  or would you rather say... "I did that and it was the best thing I ever did for my future."

 If you are in a dying field... I encourage you to find the greener grass. Don't stay in a field that will never come back to life. When it's dead... it's dead and no matter how much nurturing you attempt to do you will simply never see life again. Go where the winds take you... follow the gentle breeze that blows in your face and run into the openness that lies ahead... run towards that greener field full of life, energy and beautiful flowers. Chase that happy ending... go get it, it is yours for the taking." I can't WAIT to hear how amazing it is.

© Going After the Happy Ending
Shelley Giard 2014

Until next time...

xoxo

Shells

                                           

                                                          

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Oh.... What to Write... What to write?

Yep, It's another one of those nights where I know I have to do this but have NO idea what to write about. I have a mountainous pile of things on my mind. With it being a new year with new goals and because I am headed in a somewhat new direction, I find myself looking forward to finally adding a few people to my "enterprise" that will be growing with me. I have come to a point in my life where I must simplify in order to multiply. However I often wish God had limited the talents and passions he gave me to make this an easier task. I guess that's why he gave me an obsessive compulsive personality and ADHD... they have been as useful as they are annoying.

As I sit here typing still kind of blabbering... I hope I will keep your interest for longer than I feel I may with my randomness. People seem to really like my writing, and love to hear me speak; being told I had a "presence" more than once was not to be taken subtly. My blog and my book have been incredibly successful in their mission so far although I feel I have barely gotten started in the marketing process; I am truly in the baby steps in my mind and that's both exciting and scary. Yes... I get scared, I don't worry, but sometimes my fears cause me to procrastinate and over think. I have this need to have things "perfect" and well, I need to remember that there is perfection in the process of  tweaking imperfect things and that imperfect things still succeed; it is a process. My fear has always been that if things are not "perfectly ready" that they are simply not ready to be executed or delivered or created or whatever... it really depends on which of my businesses I am talking about. I have also allowed this need for perfection to keep me from getting outside help, thinking nobody would treat it like I will, that someone else won't give it 100% like me, so I have run myself ragged doing everything myself. If I continue this thinking, I will hold myself back from my dream of becoming a well known inspirational/motivational speaker... so I am setting that fear aside in 2014... it's time to move ONWARD and UPWARD.

I have experience in both my professional and personal life that CAN and WILL help people grow professionally and personally. My memoir has already helped so many people simply because so many walks of life can relate to my stories of struggle; for I have had several kinds and after 20 years of knowledge and experience of running multiple businesses, being the owner/ operator, the financial officer, the marketing director... what am I afraid of? For so long I have waited for someone else to take notice so that I would not have so much work to do... I wanted someone else to believe in me as much as I believe in me... it is something I have wanted all my life in the professional world and well, it feels impossible to attain. I did not want to have to learn things that I was uncomfortable learning in order to gain the knowledge I needed to run my own speaking engagements but a few weeks ago, something finally clicked... I CAN do this, I can't wait, because as my history plays... I know I can make this happen. I just need a few people who are willing to grow with me, to be patient and willing to put their passion into the awesome I know it can be and if they do I will be the most generous employer they have ever known. It truly is a big leap for me, but I WANT it,and I tend to get what I want if I am relentless in pursuing it. I know no obstacles...just the journey.

Is fear holding you back from something? Are you afraid to take that leap of faith? Are you too easily kept in the zone of comfort not knowing what people will say or think about you if you actually pursue your dreams? Are you financially where you want to be? Are you waking up every day dreading what you have to do or looking forward to it? Are you willing to do WHATEVER it takes to make your dreams come true?

I found myself in class this weekend... learning something that will help me help others as I pursue a speaking career. I dislike school, I dislike classrooms... unless I am teaching, but it was something that had to be done to complete my puzzle and I know I won't regret it once I pass the exam.

From youth, to adults, to people in the beauty professions... I am ready to inspire, motivate and educate in a BIGGER way. That's my #1 goal for 2014. Are you in?

One of my new branding images 

that I created on whim one day... it was just floating around in my crazy head.

xoxo

~Shells~ 

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The Early Bird Gets Delayed

Here I sit in the Sacramento International Airport eyes wanting to shut, brain still semi-working and TONS of time before I board my plane. I had already arrived 3 hours early because I had nowhere to really go and when I was told there was a flight delay and I will now leave at 1:00 a.m. California time I thought, "A great chance to write a weekend blog."  I will warn you now that I am am BEYOND exhausted and will not be held responsible for any jibberish that I may write.

I left Lake Tahoe today after an amazing week of doing makeup for Teeny B Bikini Couture; one of my favorite commercial clients (despite the 5 a.m. call times we must have to catch that amazing morning sun.) After 7 days in San Jose last week and 5 days in Lake Tahoe... I will have been away for 13 days by the time I get home tomorrow morning; GOSH! I am SO ready to be home! 6 a.m.wake up times on a 3 hour time difference, staying up till wee hours for 7 days writing, followed by 5 days of 5 a.m. call times for makeup and evening prep for the next day, has left me sort of brain dead.. yep I am done, even a bit grumpy-tired if I may admit.

However, as I sit here and reflect on my trip, I am smiling, (despite my need for toothpicks) because I am living my dream... LIKE REALLY! NO JOKE! I said that I would do this one day. I envisioned myself being flown all over the country to do makeup and hair, writing inspirational books and speaking to others about my story. Talking to people about how to achieve their dreams and how to BELIEVE. I had my doubts... we all do, but I never allowed my doubts to overshadow what I wanted to go after and well... smack me now, but IT WORKED! I know that my next stage of this success journey are paychecks that will make me pass out... so please pray that I don't have a heart attack before I am able to GIVE some of that money to people who need it more than me. Will I do that? Sure I will; after I set my mom and dad up with a worry free bank account for all they have done for me. I have always been a giver... even when I did not have anything monetary to give... ask anyone who knows me, they will verify this statement. Giving of myself, my time, and my "things" has done more for me than I ever imagined. I have been blessed in return time and time again. I get paid... I make a nice living, but money has certainly never been my biggest blessing. The biggest blessings are knowing that you did something right, doing something that you set out to do, doing something that helped someone else... and having something that you can be proud of even when you are still struggling. THOSE are things that money cannot buy and THOSE are the things I don't ever want to lose.

Okay... time for me to go, I am in need of a cot.. or a bench or a chair to sleep in until I can board my plane. My eyes are shut now and I still have an hour to wait. (thank goodness I know where the keys are.) I will resume my regular blog schedule next week and perhaps share some pictures from my trip!

"If someone says that your dreams are impossible who cares... 

unless that person is YOU !!

xoxo

~Shells~

Perseverance Pays Off...

This has been an AWESOME week and I have learned to really appreciate those weeks, because as we all know... life does not hand us awesome weeks all of the time. If you are in the up and down world of freelance work, or self-employment, it can feel even LESS often. It is because of that, that many people have a hard time sticking with it. Perhaps they feel their circumstances do not allow a choice; they feel that they need something more financially stable and predictable, something more "normal".

It makes me really sad (and frustrated quite frankly) to see people who are amazing at something or who have amazing potential in their craft give up for reasons like this. I simply cannot imagine myself completely leaving what I love to do for something I "have" to do... I suppose I am just not wired that way. When it comes to my career, it is because of my love for it that I have always FOUND a way to make it work; to make it my living, to give it 120%, 100% of the time. After all... where there is a will, there is a way right? Do you BELIEVE that? I do, and that is the first step in making what you love your living.

I remember 22 years ago when I had to present my career as a cosmetologist to my twelfth-grade English class. Classmates chuckled and snickered at me as I shared my aspirations; but that never stopped me. I was on a mission to do what I loved and THAT is what I would do. There were times when I worked two jobs... I had opened my first salon at the early age of 20, and while I got it going, I took a side job as a server/bartender in order to pay my bills. I networked with my customers, but not about being a server... but about me being a hairstylist/makeup artist because THAT was my love. Serving was merely a temporary necessity in my path to keep my dream alive; and although I was a dedicated server and gave it my best... at the end of the day I knew where I wanted to hang my hat and I always stayed focused on that.

Many years went by; I would be lying if I said it was easy, but somehow, I always managed to FIND a way to make it work, to make ends meet, to network for new business and learned what I could to gain more. It was hard; sleep was often a side note, but when you have big dreams, big goals, and a desire to reach them, you do what it takes despite the obstacles because it's the only way to get there. There were times when I questioned myself and although I never thought of giving up, I would get frustrated, overwhelmed, tired and would have moments where I felt like my hard work would never pay off. There are still times when I feel this way even now as my career flourishes because when you add up the hours sometimes the math just doesn't make sense. However when you see things coming to fruition, when you finally reach the point of people realizing your value, your mind begins to shift and you realize there is more to this than a dollar amount; I guess that is where I am right now.

Over the course of many years... I have given my services away, I have done things that cost me money yet yielded none... I have invested both time and money and lost that time and money because not all of your investments will pay off. However perseverance does... EVERY single time. You have to know when to hold em' and know when to fold em', but doing what you love is something you should never fold and that holds true whether we are talking careers or simply what makes you happy in life.

As my week comes to a close, I am so happy to see that my perseverance is making things happen. I know I am on the track to where I have always wanted to be, I have said it before and I will say it again and again because THAT is what belief sounds like.

Yesterday afternoon before heading to a photo shoot for a new client, I checked my email. I was excited to see a message with a few sneak peek shots from another brand new photographer client that I worked with earlier in the week. In the message, she included these two shots as well as this this... 

"I didn't do any contouring in post--that's all your amazing makeup!"  

I must admit, it made for a very good day... you just can't put a price on stuff like that. 

I am so happy that the days of people asking me to work for trade are over because my value has finally been realized. My confidence in my work is also strong enough to not feel bad for charging what I am worth. It may take you a long time to get there, unfortunately in the freelance world you must prove yourself.  I PROMISE that if you never give up and continue to improve your skills and professionalism, your perseverance WILL pay off one day! If you love it, want it bad enough to do whatever it takes!

I wish you all the ability to do something you love for a living... 

to maintain passion in something and follow your dreams.

xoxo

~Shells~

Here are a few more shots from my VERY busy week...