Hello.... It's Been A While

THE LAST TIME I WROTE

December 5th, 2016, my 43rd birthday... I wrote a blog post from a hospital room where I was with my youngest daughter. She had a random seizure and stopped breathing the day before. It was the scariest day of my life but also the most significant.


As I sat to write this revival blog post tonight, I re-read it and got moved inside all over again. One thing I LOVE about the written word is that the feelings and emotion behind them last a lifetime; each time eyes scan the page. Just like a song, you are sent back in time to a place where you once were. Sometimes we need those reminders over and over again. I was meant to read that post again tonight.

When life gets tough, it is very easy to fall into the depths of misery, of  pain, sorrow and frustration of what surrounds us. However when we allow that, we stay there and never leave. Nobody truly wants to stay, yet so many cannot escape when the storms of life consume them.


THAT DOES NOT HAVE TO BE YOU

I can't tell you what to do, I can't tell you how to live your life, but I can encourage you and tell you that this too shall pass. I can tell you that I've been there... that I am there right now and I am fighting it with everything in me to stay strong... and I will win.

You see, everyone assumes that the strong ones never have a hard time... that we can just run through without stopping. People even say it... " You are strong, you will make it through" they say it with such definite assumption that we don't need a shoulder to cry on, a hand to help us stand back up, a little push towards the finish line, that hearing those words will anger us if we are quick to respond..

WE ALL NEED SUPPORT

Life will attack you when you are on the path that you were meant for... and the closer you get to the finish line, the harder the hits will come. My only explanation is that it takes mental toughness and lots of strength to achieve greatness, to be all that you were meant to be, and so, if this is where you stand right now, know that you are in the preparation phase, so punch back harder.

You see, not everyone gets to experience these moments of growth because not all people discover their purpose in life. You may have found your purpose, don't ignore it. CHASE IT and move the obstacles and things that hold you back out of the way with a force that makes a statement.

YOU WILL NOT STOP ME!

YOU WILL NOT BREAK ME! 

I WILL CONQUER THIS TOO!

REALIZE THAT YOU MUST CHOOSE

So... life has you down, things are not coming together as you had planned... so what will you do?

You have two choices:

GIVE UP

OR

MOVE FORWARD

Give up... and you'll never move forward. Move forward and you will become exactly who you were meant to be as long as you never give up.

Time is all we have... so spend that time focusing on where you are going, not where you are. Use where you have been only as a reminder that you have already made it through so much... that you will never be there again and that you can conquer just like you did before.

I encourage you tonight to pick yourself up, wipe those tears, shed that anger, brush the dirt off your kneecaps and run against that wind. Let your hair blow and leave the past behind you. Your path awaits you and there is so much to fight for.

   xoxo
~Shells~

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Focus, Faith and Future

As I cued up the instrumental music tonight, I wasn't quite sure what to write about... so I prayed. In mere moments, the word FOCUS stirred inside of me. Here I go, letting it flow, fingers to the keys, no forethought at all.



RAT ON A WHEEL

There are so many thoughts in my head that I can barely keep up with them. Focus is a constant battle. I make lists and then sub-lists just to get it all out and accomplished. As my good friend Will best describes me... " You have a Ferrari brain with Chevy brakes." That about sums it up, and it's no different today than it was yesterday, in fact, it may even be worse.

Many things in today's world demand our "focus" calling our immediate attention; or is it that we simply CHOOSE to give them the immediate attention that they DO NOT truly deserve? We are pulled so far away from where our focus should be...

GOD 1st, FAMILY 2nd, CAREER 3rd

That is what is written, it's what is REQUIRED to live a life of abundance, yet we struggle as we are pulled from living this way on a daily basis. It takes a lot of strength to live this trilogy of faith; I suppose that is why the reward is so great when we do.

This morning when I woke up with an overwhelming feeling to write, the urge was expressed in a status update on Facebook. Without any though at all, I opened my laptop and just wrote...

So often we look for happiness and fulfillment in things... in people... in actions, money and careers yet still feel empty, lonely, broken and defeated.

Simply put, we are looking in the wrong places.

Once you realize where to turn, who to surrender control to, and EXPERIENCE the wonder of God's grace for real, your heart and life will be filled in a way I can only describe through experience.

I have come a long way since my days of atheism; I did not even know that's what it was called. All I knew was that God had never been there for me... or so I thought. My life was a mess and I felt that if I was "His child" he wouldn't let my life fall apart.

In reality, He was always there. I had just never invited Him to walk with me, to guide me, to change me. Now that I have, my life has changed, my heart is filled even when it's empty and even when I fall; because I still do, I know by grabbing His hand in a tearful surrender, He will pick me up and carry me to a peaceful place.

Have a blessed Sunday knowing that you are never alone even in your loneliest moments and that you are blessed every day even when you don't notice.

All day, my mind swirled around in thought about what I wrote and I got a feeling inside that I need to shift my focus in a few areas of life. Then, one sentence in today's message at church confirmed that for me. Refocus is needed in many of our lives as we sacrifice things we should never sacrifice for things so insignificant, so undeserving. We don't even take moments to STOP and realize that it is leaving us empty inside. We repeat cycles expecting different outcomes when the results have already been proven and rarely change; we are in a comfortable denial.

We hold onto things for self serving reasons and call ourselves generous, we future pace our lives instead of handling the present, we avoid problems and issues causing them to multiply while focusing on what deserves the LEAST amount of our attention. We hurt ourselves, our lives, our present, our future and those around us. 

TIME TO REFOCUS!!

I have been working really hard lately on refocusing energy, but have failed in a few areas. Today I made a promise to myself, to future, to family and to the legacy that I hope to leave behind long after being gone. I will refocus in the areas of life where it's needed and put God 1st in everything. I have failed Him, but He does not fail me. Trying harder, sacrificing for Him, not for self service will allow Him to deliver the life He wants to give me. Where I fail, He will forgive, where I fall, he will pick me up and carry me when there is nothing left in me to walk. Putting my attention where it should be and leaving the rest alone is something that I will remind myself of every single day.

I encourage you to evaluate where your focus is... define what is sucking up all your energy and attention. Is it worthy of your attention? If it is, then make it a more significant part of your life, but if it's not, perhaps you should simply let it go. Get unstuck by shifting your focus and weeding out what is not helping you. Focus on the what is to be rather than the what is now or what has been before. Change is the most uncomfortable feeling there is and letting go of things is frightening... but at times it is the ONLY answer to reaching the next stage of life.

Until next time....

PURSUE WHAT YOU HOPE FOR; LEAVE BEHIND WHAT YOU WISH TO FORGET.... 

xoxo

Shells

WWW.THESGIARDGROUP.COM

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THE POWER OF 1...

YOU wake up every day with an opportunity... an opportunity not only to make your day amazing and interesting, but to make a difference in someone's life, to be a voice in a circumstance, to create a wave of truth in a situation that is unjust.

FOR YOU,  HAVE THE POWER OF 1

So many of you think of your life as ordinary... perhaps even boring, mundane or meaningless;  you don't realize the value you truly have. All you know is that you get up, go to work, grind all day to make someone else rich, sit in a traffic jam on the ride home which stirs up negative emotions that you carry through the threshold of your home. Then even though you are exhausted, you put on your other hat, perhaps as a parent or spouse when you would rather crawl in a corner somewhere with a glass of wine and a book, or a beer and ESPN. You finally go to bed worried about things that are not going right only to wake up and do it all over again... for 4 more days! THIS, is your life. YOU simply EXIST.

You don't think about the small things you can do to change the attitude of your every day, you never really think of how YOU can touch a life, or change the world; perhaps maybe you don't care to change the world... but what if you could make a difference with just one small change, one small thing, gesture, one word you choose to say?

YOU HAVE THE POWER OF 1

What is this power of 1? Well, let me tell you about it. The power of 1 is all about that one little thing, that one moment that you do something different, courageous, extraordinary or perhaps even a little weird that creates a ripple effect that you may not even be able to fully trace. It may sound crazy to think that one small thing can change the day... or perhaps even the lives of many just because YOU made a small choice because ONE THING seems very insignificant, but it's not. I will give you an example.

Think about a room filled with people, someone is up on a stage speaking about something that touches you, that moves you ...something that has made an impact for you but everyone around you is silent.... nobody claps. What do you think would happen if YOU started clapping? I will tell you what would happen... someone else will clap, and someone else, and someone else and soon, the whole room is clapping, smiling, and the person on stage feels amazing and the rest of their time on stage is filled with even more energy because of it. The next time someone else in the room is impacted, they may now have the courage to clap simply because they saw what happened when YOU did. The energy of the room was taken to a new level all because YOU made one small choice to not follow everyone else... but you chose to clap anyway.

THAT IS THE POWER OF 1

I have been told more times than I can count, that I talk too much, that I have too much energy, I am too nice, too bubbly and that my personality can be overwhelming. For years, I was very self conscious of that... I saw it as a flaw and felt that maybe I should change. I actually got FIRED from a salon once because I was too bubbly and it offended the other stylists. They accused me of "stealing" their clients by being too nice to them! I decided that it is who I am and I liked who I was, so instead of changing, I simply discovered how to adjust to the crowd I am in. I can tone it down or turn it up, depending on the situation; (trust me...suppressing this is an art in itself)  

I am the poster child for the power of 1 because I stand up for what I believe in, I speak when I am passionate and I will clap when nobody else claps if  for nothing more than to make that person feel special. WE ALL need to feel special. We ALL need to feel significant to someone and if I can be that person for someone else if only for a moment in time... perhaps it will create a ripple effect and that makes me feel good too.

BE THE CHANGE... BE THE DIFFERENCE

I encourage you to use YOUR power of 1 EVERY day. Change one thing in your routine, say one word to someone that could change the course of their day, do one thing that you would not normally do to make a difference in your life, the life of someone you know, or better yet, a complete stranger. We ALL have the opportunity to be THAT PERSON who is mentioned in conversation that did something nice... to do that "something" that became significant to someone. Knowing that we can have that kind of impact, that butterfly effect is a reason to wake up with a smile every day. Even when you can't change your own circumstances... you may be able to change someone's day in a positive way and when they smile back at you... there's no way to avoid the feeling that happens inside.

Yesterday... I got an email from one of my readers; someone who knows me through someone else, however I have never met this person. I am sharing this excerpt from the email to prove that the power of 1 is real... I get these kinds of emails and messages all of the time simply because I choose to do that one thing, say that one word, type that one blog, or post that one phrase or paragraph on social media. I don't do it for me... no matter what some people have said or may think... I do it because I USE my power of 1 to make someone's day better. I have been given the gift of gab... the talents and courage to say and write things that others won't... to clap when nobody else is clapping. I choose to be significant every day even if it's only to one person... and that person can even be ME.

Dear Shelley,

I want to say so much to you. Your morning inspirational messages mean so much to me. I still get envious of people who have so much, and I'm still struggling. I never would have imagined that I would be so poor at this point if my life. YOU help me to realize how blessed I am, and help me to trust in His plan. I have taught my daughters to give and help others, even when we didn't have much to give. Ok, going on too long here, but thank you for your guidance, inspiration, love and support. It means more than you will ever know.

Have an AMAZING Monday... I hope you use YOUR power of 1 in some way today. It can change your life and may have a ripple effect on the lives of many others.

Until next time... 

xoxo

Shells

WWW.THESGIARDGROUP.COM

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The Secret to Living Your Dream Life Is....

Well... it's not a secret at all... living a dream life is simply a goal that you set and relentlessly go after no matter how nuts or impossible it seems to you or anyone else. It is setting your standards high enough that the climb excites you so much that when you are hit with obstacles, setbacks, sacrifices and emotional exhaustion trying to get there, that you get back up without question and keep going. It is planning things out so methodically that there is little wonder of IF it will happen but rather of WHEN it will happen. It is being willing to do whatever it takes for however long to live what you dream... THAT is no secret, simply a critical decision in life that we all have, but so few choose.

Why do you dream but let them go? 

Why do you try but never finish? 

Why do you doubt but never believe?

Why do you give up but never hope? 

The reason is that we live in a world of disbelief instead create belief... we allow what everyone else thinks of our ideas, of our dreams, hopes and desires take over and we stop believing it can happen. One of my favorite shows when I was a kid was Mr. Rogers Neighborhood, I LOVED watching that show every day when it came on. My favorite part of the show was when he would change his shoes and go venture into the Land of Make Believe. I think something pivotal happened to me in the many years of watching that show... I think something in my brain clicked and set me on a path of entrepreneurship. Life in the Land of Make Believe was so much fun and exciting... he was always meeting and chatting with interesting people and learning so many things, I remember thinking to myself one day, why does that have to be make believe? Why can't that fun place be the real deal? From that moment on, I was on a mission. It was no longer make believe, in my mind it became create the belief and dream it is possible and this set me on my path to creating my dream life.

I started and have never looked back. I began working and have worked non stop towards that goal since I was 13. If you have read my book, you know that I have certainly had my share of hiccups but my dream has never left my head; my ultimate goal has never changed... and after many. many years of learning, growing, researching, planning and being COMPLETELY consumed in all that I do... I finally see it all coming together like an amazing puzzle. 

The past four weeks have been emotionally exhausting. I have things going on in my personal life right now that could easily hold me down and stop me in my tracks, but I have continued to push through and with that I found clarity and the energy to keep going. It is really happening... I am at that point where I can see the light shining ... I can see my hard work, dedication and planning finally coming together beautifully and it is making me run harder... I won't stop until I am there no matter how long it takes. Once I arrive I will be able to look back and say that every tear, every scar, every pain, hurt and moment of anger was worth it. I will be able to say... I DID IT! I NEVER GAVE UP AND I DID IT! I AM HERE! What better feeling is there to have than that?

What does your dream life look like? Have you written it down? Have you thought it out? Have you shared with someone what it is? Why don't you get out of that land of make believe and create your reality... it can happen... it will happen... or you could just be better off and simply happier in life because you died trying. We all have a purpose, God gave us talents to use in order to serve that purpose. It is OUR DUTY to ourselves and to others to FIND IT AND LIVE IT.

To all of those that have been outside looking in on my life that have thought that I was nuts for spreading myself so thin doing all that I do, you may have not understood my choices or what my reasoning and methodical purpose was.... but in the next several months you will discover how EVERYTHING will tie in together allowing me to achieve my ultimate goal and help everyone who wants to do the same achieve their BEST LIFE too!

Happy Monday and keep it going!

Until next time...

xoxo

Shells

                                                   

                                                                               

                                                          

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How Faithful Are You?

When I sat down to write this post, several instances played in my mind; moments in my life that I look back on remembering how I handled them WITHOUT faith. The most prominent one that came to mind was when I became pregnant the summer after high school graduation at the young age of 17. Several people around me... especially family members were extremely disappointed and told me that I had ruined my chances of ever being successful in life. 

When I needed those who were close to me the most, backs were turned away and noses turned up. At this time in my life, I did not believe in God, my faith had been damaged as a child when my sister Teresa was killed, so I did not turn in that direction. I remember simply taking all the negative things people said about my situation and turning that into drive, passion and an undying motivation and desire to show them that they were all wrong; that's all I had to go with at the time so I went on a mission to MAKE things happen. Prior to finding out I was having a child, I was on a path of destruction, drinking every weekend and most nights when I came home from work. I had dreams and goals and had worked since the age of 13... but at the rate I was going achieving those goals may have been hindered by poor choices and sadness that was swirling deep inside me, so that pregnancy was a blessing disguised as an obstacle.

Fast forwarding my life to a year after Cierra was born... I was now a single mom who owned a salon and had purchased my first home, I was proud of this and felt I was well on my way but constantly struggled; everything came the hard way. When she was 2, I married her father but after only two years our marriage ended... another painful road block that left me sad, I felt unwanted and unworthy of love. I was led back to drinking and going out on the weekends trying to find a "guy" to fill the void in my life that I was feeling. After several failed attempts of meeting and dating that "awesome" guy, I was left with a broken heart and the thought that it would never happen for me. I was a young mom and simply felt that nobody would want me and my "baggage" so I threw myself deeper into my career and looked to drinking when I felt that emptiness. Then... I decided on a whim that in order to have a better life I needed to get out of the small town I was in and start anew, so I packed up and moved to Tampa, on a leap of chance knowing only one person who lived there.

It turned out to be a good move in the long run for my life and certainly my career, but over the past 15 years of being here I have had many struggles, have had 3 more children, another divorce and a failed long term relationship. I have hit several dead ends and learned many more hard lessons. It seemed for so long that no matter how many steps forward I took... there were always more steps back. There were many times when I wanted to just give up. Luckily that burning desire of wanting to prove that I can do it still lives inside of me. 

Back in 2005 when my faith was renewed, life as I knew it changed dramatically. It was not that I stopped struggling or that everything from that point on was "peachy", but when I hit those walls, when I was in the storm, I knew that I did not have to do it alone. In fact... all that I have to do is ask God to take over... to hop in that driver's seat and take all my worry. pain and sadness away. Miraculously, He does and I feel at peace. What I give back to Him is to utilize all the talents and drive He gave me in every way that I can, to keep Him in my heart and to share with others my journey. In my mind, that is the role I am to fill in this game called life, the rest I give to Him.

It is hard for me to imagine trying to get through all of the obstacles of everyday life without faith now, and I am baffled that I survived it for so many years. I am SO thankful that no matter how long I had my back turned on Him... that God never gave up on me.

I have had people ask me how I do it... how I can just hand it over to the "big guy" and not concern myself with worry of  how everything is going to turn out. I guess all I can say is that once you have a circumstance where you have nothing left, when your own efforts are exhausted and you truly have no choice but to surrender it all... you won't be able to understand. I was in that place... I had that moment and that is when God showed me His true grace. He brought a non-believer back to faith... TRUE faith and since then, every time I feel defeated, worried or pained, I quickly remind myself of the day He showed up in my life, showed me He was real, took it all away and solved the problem at hand. Because of that I do not stay swallowed up in worry, sadness or pain; I know how to find that peace.

So how faithful are you? Many people talk the talk and say that they are faithful Christians, that they "believe", yet they are walking around worried, sad, angry, pained and defeated without that feeling of peace in heir heart. It is SO hard to fully trust in something that you cannot see... I get it, I was once that person, but I promise you that once you have experienced what can happen when you just GIVE IT TO GOD you will always have your place to turn, and are left with unbelievable comfort. You will believe because you will FEEL it...  I know that seeing is NOT the only way to believing. 

Today... I want you to take whatever worry you have, take whatever is ailing you and ask God to take it .... then believe with your whole heart that He can and will. Cry out for help, be specific in your request and then wait, for God's timing is the best kind. Allow that weight you feel right now to be lifted off your shoulders and let Him carry it. After many years of trying to find that "awesome man" that would fill a void... I can happily say that I found Him and His are the most loving arms I have ever been wrapped in.

I truly appreciate ALL of you.... I hope that you can take something from this post today and that you don't just think I am trying to push something on you that you don't want to believe. I am sharing... not judging. I am letting you know how I do it... so take from it what you will and I hope you find peace in your storms.

Until next time...

xoxo

Shells

                                                   

                               

                                                          

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Let Change, Passion and Purpose Redefine Your Life

I have had an incredible two days! There is something special... TRULY special about being surrounded by a room filled with motivated, hopeful, driven, passionate people who have a common goal of helping and serving others; who have a solid mission to build people up and develop them into the best they can be. Unless you have experienced this for yourself, it is quite difficult to explain the euphoria that happens, the tornado of change and self improvement that engulfs the room. I am going to attempt through words, to paint a picture of what this is like for you because I think that EVERYONE needs to know how this feels, that everyone needs this in a world that focuses everything on the negative. My hope is that through it, you can catch a glimmer of hope, hope for a second chance, a new beginning, a change in your reality that only YOU can manifest and create.

As you read, I want you to open your mind wide and allow yourself to imagine what I am describing, absorb it, allow it to surround you like a warm, fuzzy blanket if only for a moment, I want you to feel safe and protected and know that everything is going to be okay no matter what you are facing in life right now. Okay, so here it goes....

Imagine yourself walking into a room filled with people in an environment that you have never been in before, some of  the people you know but most whose path you have never crossed. You are scared, a bit intimidated even, but you are there anyway. As you walk by each row of chairs and make eye contact with others, people smile at you and say hello, several shake your hand or give you a high five just for showing up. As each person smiles you begin to "feel" the energy in the room and begin to think that although you are not quite sure what you have walked into.... it feels pretty god and is certainly a far cry from what you are used to 90% of the time. You take your seat and prepare for the day... a day that you have been told will be filled with motivating, inspirational leaders telling YOU how to WIN for you and your family in this crazy game of life.

You quickly notice that this is different than any social event you have ever attended and realize that the people speaking are not people that are hired to speak and "fluff" something up for you, they are TRUE leaders, true educators, comrades that have DONE what they are asking you to do, they have put in the time, gone through the hardships, made the mistakes and tell you everything you DON'T want to hear so that you can truly grow into the best you. It gets a little uncomfortable at times when you feel like they are talking directly to you, in fact you get a bit squirmy and have a feeling of nausea in your gut, but for some crazy reason you know that it is a good thing to feel this way.

As the day goes on, it is time for recognition... your name gets called out and as you stand and walk to the front the entire room stands to cheer for you, hands blanket the isle as you walk the path to the front. You are surprised that you are being celebrated by people you know, but by complete strangers? You get to the front and are given the chance to talk about why you are here, why you are being awarded and are asked to share what you do to achieve these goals and what advice you can offer for those who want to accomplish what you have. YOU... someone who when you walked into this room felt intimidated and scared are being called courageous. You give your 2 minute speech and return to your seat....

How do you feel right now? Read it again if you feel nothing and OPEN YOUR MIND so that you can feel the moments that I have described. Are you recognized and celebrated for all your hard work and then some? Would you like to be? Have you ever been given the chance to tell your story? Would you like a chance to talk about your struggles and how you pushed on? Well... I can introduce you to an environment that will give all of this to you... it's all of that and more. It is an environment that will build you, make you strong and ultimately make you free of all worry if you make the choice to accept the challenge. I know... it sounds nuts, and that is because it is so far from what most of you live every single day. I will tell you this... feeling great and being called nuts feels way better than being stressed, wouldn't you agree?

If you stay where you are... if you keep doing what you have been doing, will it lead you to the life that you want? Will you be able to do all that you hope to do for your children, for your spouse, your mom, dad? If not... then I encourage you to make a change. Sure, it is uncomfortable... but so is childbirth yet it yields the most amazing miracle known to humanity. You MUST get uncomfortable to experience greatness, to become all that our Creator wants us to be. So suck it up and be uncomfortable will ya?

Take the challenge, let change, passion and purpose ring in your life, your heart and in your mind. You become who you hang around, so ask yourself... who are you surrounded by? To quote one of the leaders who spoke today....

"The mind is a parachute... it only works when it is open.  Assad Faraj

Success is not going to find you, it is not going to attack you... you will NEVER read in the paper or hear on CNN that success just tackled someone to the ground and beat them up. So why not Ddesign, architect and fall in love with your goals and dreams and pursue that dream life." Ed Ortiz

If you want to succeed, you have to open your mind to new things, new concepts and change what is not working. Simple as that. Now... what are you going to do to change your situation? If you want to know where to start email me. I will be happy to help you with your journey to a better life... it's what I do. I am in the business of developing people into all that they can be and it won't cost you a single penny.

 xoxo

Shells

                                   

                                                          

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