Hello.... It's Been A While

THE LAST TIME I WROTE

December 5th, 2016, my 43rd birthday... I wrote a blog post from a hospital room where I was with my youngest daughter. She had a random seizure and stopped breathing the day before. It was the scariest day of my life but also the most significant.


As I sat to write this revival blog post tonight, I re-read it and got moved inside all over again. One thing I LOVE about the written word is that the feelings and emotion behind them last a lifetime; each time eyes scan the page. Just like a song, you are sent back in time to a place where you once were. Sometimes we need those reminders over and over again. I was meant to read that post again tonight.

When life gets tough, it is very easy to fall into the depths of misery, of  pain, sorrow and frustration of what surrounds us. However when we allow that, we stay there and never leave. Nobody truly wants to stay, yet so many cannot escape when the storms of life consume them.


THAT DOES NOT HAVE TO BE YOU

I can't tell you what to do, I can't tell you how to live your life, but I can encourage you and tell you that this too shall pass. I can tell you that I've been there... that I am there right now and I am fighting it with everything in me to stay strong... and I will win.

You see, everyone assumes that the strong ones never have a hard time... that we can just run through without stopping. People even say it... " You are strong, you will make it through" they say it with such definite assumption that we don't need a shoulder to cry on, a hand to help us stand back up, a little push towards the finish line, that hearing those words will anger us if we are quick to respond..

WE ALL NEED SUPPORT

Life will attack you when you are on the path that you were meant for... and the closer you get to the finish line, the harder the hits will come. My only explanation is that it takes mental toughness and lots of strength to achieve greatness, to be all that you were meant to be, and so, if this is where you stand right now, know that you are in the preparation phase, so punch back harder.

You see, not everyone gets to experience these moments of growth because not all people discover their purpose in life. You may have found your purpose, don't ignore it. CHASE IT and move the obstacles and things that hold you back out of the way with a force that makes a statement.

YOU WILL NOT STOP ME!

YOU WILL NOT BREAK ME! 

I WILL CONQUER THIS TOO!

REALIZE THAT YOU MUST CHOOSE

So... life has you down, things are not coming together as you had planned... so what will you do?

You have two choices:

GIVE UP

OR

MOVE FORWARD

Give up... and you'll never move forward. Move forward and you will become exactly who you were meant to be as long as you never give up.

Time is all we have... so spend that time focusing on where you are going, not where you are. Use where you have been only as a reminder that you have already made it through so much... that you will never be there again and that you can conquer just like you did before.

I encourage you tonight to pick yourself up, wipe those tears, shed that anger, brush the dirt off your kneecaps and run against that wind. Let your hair blow and leave the past behind you. Your path awaits you and there is so much to fight for.

   xoxo
~Shells~

WWW.SHELLEYGIARD.COM

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Going After The Happy Ending....

I NEEDED SOME QUIET TIME
Tonight, as I sit here, eager to blog after a much needed break, I am not sure how it will pour out. It's been over a month since I last wrote. My kids and I were moving into a new home, so in the nooks and crannies of being a busy, single career mom, I only gave myself a month to pack up a 2500 sq. ft house...(In hind sight? probably should have given myself more time.)

Needless to say, I was burned out, and feeling a bit overwhelmed in some areas of life, so I decided to take some "quiet" time for myself. Sometimes, in order to find balance, I temporarily remove things from this often overflowing plate. Unfortunately, my blog is one of those things that I don't "HAVE" to do. It's more of what I enjoy doing; that favorite hobby that even though I prefer not to, I can and must put on the back burner once in a while. I  love to inspire you and quite honestly, it's very therapeutic for me to do so. I appreciate you reading and sharing... I want you to know that.

Taking that break was a great idea after all. I am starting to feel alive again, and even in the imperfect moments, I push through. Finding the bright side is truly second nature to me at this point. I have heaved enough hurdles, swallowed enough disappointments and overcome enough obstacles to last a lifetime... (and it actually feels like they have lasted that long.)


NOW THAT THE DUST HAS SETTLED
After getting settled into the new home last week, I was able to attend my new church for the first time, and attended again today. After an INCREDIBLE two weeks of worship and amazing messages, I was moved to get back to writing, (now that I am out of cardboard hell.)

In this season of life, I find that every message I hear gets closer and closer to my heart and know that it is certainly more than coincidence. I feel God himself is speaking to me, telling me what I need to hear like a soft whisper. It is very comforting, and makes me feel so well taken care of as I continue to pray upon a few areas of life that I just can't seem to get right.

DIGGING IN
As I travel down a completely new road of life, I am feeling a spiritual need to dig  further into the depths of my past... my present, and hopes for my future. I felt the need to write down lessons that I have learned, am learning now and ones I feel I still need to learn. I felt it would help me remind myself how far I have come, where I am now and to get more excited about where I hope to go. Perspective is everything, and often even though we are moving forward, it feels instead like we are treading water as we go after something.

STOPPING TO SOAK IT IN 
If we don't stop and breathe for a bit, to reflect and plan ahead, we will end up getting lost in our travels. Tomorrow (August 19th) marks what would have been my oldest sister's 51st birthday if she were still here. It was my first official day back to the grind since the move so I have declared it the first day of the rest of my life in her honor.

I refuse to make the same mistakes anymore, I promise myself to stay true to my values, morals, ethics and goals. I will expect more and stop accepting less than what I am worth. I will choose to limit  my time spent to those who show the desire to spend time with me. Chasing dreams is fun and exciting, chasing people, not so much.

It's amazing what you realize when you are truly honest with yourself... what happens when you sit with pen and paper and write down your mistakes and decisions and how they affected your life. It gives you clarity and helps you realize exactly what NOT to do again and exactly what to do in order to fix it, to change it. Everything good begins with change.

DON'T GIVE UP, TAKE A CHANCE
Are you TRULY happy in all aspects of your life right now? If you are, then job well done, you better cherish that! If not, what can YOU do to change your position? What is it that holds you back? What cycles are you repeating that keep you in a vicious circle of what you don't want? Are you taking chances or staying safe?

For some, taking chances is all they have ever done... (ahem, me) and for others, chances are what they have never taken and wonder why they stand still. Safety nets may catch you when you fall, but the exciting part is being shot out of the canon... the feeling you get while you are flying cannot be described nor duplicated.


MY HAPPY ENDING AWAITS... SO DOES YOURS
The 3 year anniversary of my book releasing on Amazon is October 20th... just a couple of days away. I plan to write a few hours each night until my next book is complete starting that day. I did it once, I can do it again. Focus... dedication and perseverance will get me to that "Happy Ending" that I so desire. The blessing lies in being happy while I go after it.

One day... I will be married to the man God wants me to have, or live happily in the fact of never marrying for the reasons I should have had. I will live the abundant life He promises, I will reach all my goals and LIVE OUT my dreams... because that is what being faithful means; believing that your "Happy Ending" is there even when it's not able to be seen yet.

Are you waiting for yours? Is it right in front of you or in the far far distance? It is up to you to not let it pass you by, pay attention, pursue it, GO AFTER IT and once you have it, NEVER let it go.

Until next time....

PURSUE WHAT YOU HOPE FOR; LEAVE BEHIND WHAT YOU WISH TO FORGET.... 

and  for that ONE special person that I know God is creating for me... 

I can't wait to live this life with you

xoxo

Shells

WWW.THESGIARDGROUP.COM

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Walking in the Footsteps of Faith

As I sit here at my keyboard tonight... so many things are swirling around in my head. My thoughts are a hurricane of mixed emotion all wrapped up in a tiny box, crowding the space in my head. The sensible part of me wants to grab the wheel and take control; to force things to happen the way that I want, need or hope them to be, because that is what I have always done. I have always been the lone survivor.  However, the faithful side of me; the side that has grown tremendously says... be still, give up control, do it differently this time and maybe your results will change. I am telling myself to let it rest on the shoulders of my faith and am trying so hard to listen closely to what I am being led to do.

JUST GIVE UP...

We are taught to not give up... and trust me, I will NEVER give up, but as believers we ARE taught to give up... to surrender our worries, our troubles and our lives to God and trust in His faithfulness. Yet walking in the footsteps of faith, although we know that is what we are supposed to do, is the hardest thing to do; especially when we are essentially putting full trust into something we cannot see.. touch or feel. However, when you have lived a life like mine, full of self induced trials and challenges caused by poor decisions, God has a way of showing up in a way that you CAN feel Him... and that does make it easier to trust in times when my faith is tested. When I should be weak, I am finding strength... by diving in and giving up.

WHEN WE CAN'T HE CAN

I have talked a lot lately in my posts about prayer... mainly because I am completely on my knees each day with all that is going on in my life. What's interesting is that I have had a lot of activity on these posts; more than normal actually. What that tells me, is that I need to continue being a voice for God; people are needing it, seeking it, wanting it. My paths have changed and even though I am facing a lot of struggle right now, I know beyond all of it lies a gift... a chance to grow in my faith once again. I have been here before...  not the exact circumstance, but in a situation similar enough to see through to the other side. When we can't, He can. 

ONCE YOU HAVE IT 

Faith that grows is like a vine that never ends... it winds through your heart, into your mind and embraces you like a blanket on a chilly night. You will still get cold, but when you do,  you know that all you have to do is wrap yourself tighter and the cold will not penetrate. Once you have faith... once you have experienced what it can truly do in your life, you will never be alone. When you feel alone, you will simply remind yourself that you can trust it, that you need to seek more the more troubled your life becomes. Realize that adversity is a gift... it serves a purpose.

ALL OR NOTHING

When you have nothing, all you have are two choices. Grab the wheel, hug the curves and hope for the best or let go and put it on cruise control... allowing God to set the path. Give it your all or give it nothing. Give Him your all and He will give you nothing... but grace.

AND SO IT IS

On my way to church yesterday, I was looking for clarity,  I had been praying about it all week. A few times through tears and confusion. I came off stage after the praise and worship (I am on the worship team) and sat down in my normal front row seat having no idea what the pastor was going to give his message on. As always... God answered my prayer, yet again. He grew my faith even more. He laid peace upon me in one simple passage which I will share at the close of this post. I know the storms will continue beyond doubt, until He has formed me into all that I am to be through Him. 

DON'T GIVE UP...  BUT GIVE IN

It is so easy to give up... to give up trying, give up fighting, give up dreaming and what we hope for in our lives; it's what most people do. We must NEVER give up because HE doesn't give up on us. We must simply give in... give our worries, fears and uncertainty to the one who will carry us through. We must listen and take the steps we are led to take. We must walk in the footsteps of our faith; that is what will lead us to the life we were meant for. A life filled with love, prosperity,  hope and true happiness.

In closing, I will share that passage that meant everything to me yesterday, it gave me the clarity that I was looking for. It was the reminder that I needed to embrace the troubles, to be thankful for them and to know that I am being perfected by Him, through Him and for Him. I hope that you too can find peace in this message, in this post and share it with someone who may need it.

" Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing" James1:2-4

Until next time... be faithful

xoxo

Shells

WWW.THESGIARDGROUP.COM

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Become What You Cannot See

Sometimes I wonder how we come out of childhood level headed and not completely confused. Perhaps we aren't level headed or clear on reality actually; maybe THAT is the problem and also the reason why we so often end up disappointed in life.

We are somewhat brainwashed from an early age... it starts with fairy tales that declare every prince will find his princess and that all it takes to live happily ever after...  is a kiss and a fancy castle. We are lied to about Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, Unicorns and Pots of Gold.... What? I looked for them, didn't you?  Oh... well, now you know I was that weird kid who chased rainbows... metaphorically speaking, I suppose still chase them.

 THEN... if that were not enough to mess us up for life, confuse our morals and kill our dreams...

 We were taught things like....

"WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT YOU GET"

 I must strongly disagree this as truth in today's world, in fact, I don't think it has ever been the majority ruling if we can be honest.

Think about it....if what you see is supposed to be what you get, then why is it that so often people deceive and pretend to be what they are not? Why do people struggle so hard to be themselves day to day? Why do others have expectations set so high that you feel you have to pretend in the first place? After all, being true to who you are is the most freeing privilege you can allow yourself.  I know this, because I am in that place. A few years ago when I "found myself" again, I realized also in that time why I had lost myself to begin with. It was in that realization that I learned more about myself than I ever had. It made me also realize how many others were doing the same things I had because I was living it.

Fake body parts, padded undergarments, Botox injections, designer clothing, expensive purses, fancy cars... there is nothing really wrong with nice things or looking your best, but why has this become what defines us instead of simply WHO WE ARE? Wouldn't life be so much simpler if we could just say... what you see is what you get and be done?

How many times have you caught yourself thinking or perhaps even saying... "I don't know who I am anymore" ? Yep... me too. A thousand times throughout my life I have spoken those words or thought that thought. So what can we do to change that? Well... we must

LEARN TO LIVE THE PRINCIPAL...

"WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT YOU GET" 

We must  simply stop being fake and start being real. We must become what we cannot see, we must force others to look beyond the surface and fall in love with who we are; what makes us tick.

Don't be ashamed of your past, don't hide your present, LIVE in it... and never, EVER fear your future. I can testify that your own personal story of all three stages will inspire someone. Be proud of who you are, how you got to where you are and by all means, claim where you intend to go. Know that every mistake, hiccup, shortfall and bad decision, made you who you are. These things are what makes you real, relatable and inspiring. Allow these things to help make your life a mission with purpose, a journey you can embrace at every turn. We are all here to make a difference, some of us ignore that calling and some of us simply do whatever we can to spread  the messages that we all need to know and practice in order to live an abundant and happy life.

Today, and every day... I encourage you to work on finding yourself if that person is lost. Define who you are, claim it, be proud of that person and begin again. It's never too late to claim what was once yours. Allow yourself the freedom of just being you and stop caring about what everyone else thinks; that's how you got lost in the first place.

I PROMISE you that it is in this stage of life that EVERYTHING that you ever wanted will begin to happen, the people who will be in your life forever will show up and make themselves known... and because you are here, you will notice them. The fairy tale life you always wanted will become your reality.

"When you stop resisting what is naturally supposed to happen, 

a happier life will begin to fall into place." 

© Shelley Giard 2010

Until next time... 

xoxo

Shells

WWW.THESGIARDGROUP.COM

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It's Not the Speed of the Train.... It's Patience

One of the most difficult traits to deal with as an action-driven entrepreneur is often impatience. The reason we often lack this trait is not because we are naturally an impatient person, but rather, we typically put everything on the line to go after a goal, a business venture, a dream we have; leaving little room for error, even when we KNOW we will make some mistakes if we are going to succeed. Sound familiar? Yeah, me too... so remember this....

It's not the speed of the train... it's the strength of the engine and the patience it has to get back on track once it veers off. ©shelleygiard

If there is one thing I have learned by now, it is how to be patient in business... (now only if it would rub off on my parenting when my kiddos don't listen!) Going after a goal can bring out almost every emotion in you, but patience is not typically one of them. Let's go through the emotions of going after a goal. I will give you a cliff note explanation of  each stage and give you some tips on how to get through them. In order to get beyond the negative emotions that stir in us, you must know what to do when you are in the midst of each one.

EXCITEMENT (the hot phase)
When you first set a goal or think of an idea, you get excited. Like REEEALLLLY excited! You start envisioning how amazing it is all going to come together and often have that "nothing is going to stop me" attitude. This is perfect... for that hot phase, it is the only thing that is going to drive you into action. This excitement phase sets your motivation; we ALL have a reason for setting the goal. It takes excitement to drive the actions that will get us moving! Don't simply stay here and fizzle out as some do; allow this phase to drive you into your passionate phase...


PASSION (the planning phase)
Passion is what drives us into action, it is what makes us feel alive and gives us the energy to push into focus. Focus is what then forces us to map out a plan to reach our goal. We must stay here and hang out a while but not allow the excitement to dwindle; it all kind of goes together. These are the fun times... enjoy them because they don't last forever... but I promise you will NEED THEM as reminders later on of why you started to begin with, You will find them again, but with different meaning.


AMBITION (the action phase)
This is where all the action happens... your excitement is still there, passion has made you focus and plan, now ambition will cause the actions to make it happen. This is your first long phase, get comfy... put on your slippers and grab some coffee. You will spend a lot of your energy here and likely lose some excitement along the way, but it plays a huge part, so hang tough. Most people begin to quit in their subconscious mind here... DON'T QUIT!

DOUBT (the cooling off phase)
Drive, hard work, and dedication were all strong and steadfast in the ambitious phase, but because that is not the phase where the magic usually happens, doubt begins to set in. Oh.. the doubt. The doubt in your idea, your goals, dreams, reasoning, abilities and well... everything else you can think up that will stop you from pushing through this phase. It's a HARD ONE! Your excitement was used up in the last three phases, so now you are starting to get a bit frustrated... you are beginning to believe what everyone is saying about giving up. It's a crappy phase but PUSH THROUGH!!!!! I promise it is worth it.

FEAR (the "what if" phase)
Doubt has set in and fear is the best friend that comes without an invite. Yep... you now fear that everything you did was a huge mistake. Whatever you have put on the line is going to be gone and you will never recover; the "I did all of this for nothing" attitude is taking over. Well... if you allow that attitude to hand around, that may be exactly what happens, but when in this phase you must remind yourself of your passion and how excited you were at one time. Fear is an emotion that you can overcome.

FEAR is what False Emotions Always Reveal. ©shelley giard
Keep pushing, YOU CAN DO IT!!! Don't let fear stop you.... it is part of the process.

ANGER (the decision phase)
If you doubt yourself and fear that you are not good enough to achieve what you hope for, you will end up here. If you are pushing through the doubts of others and have fears of failure, you will end up here as well. The outcome of this phase will all depend on which of the above you are feeling. When it all boils down, belief in yourself  and getting angry that nobody else thinks you can do it will rekindle the excitement and passion phases in this stage... it will drive you home because you will use the anger to fuel you. If you are doubting yourself, and angry that you ever started... you will likely quit in this stage. Most people cannot get through it; but the ones who want it bad enough will. Frustration is in full force, exhaustion is peeking in the window and it may even be sitting on your couch with a soda by now. When you are exhausted, you get emotional... we will cry, punch a wall and blame everyone and everything simply because we don't want to admit our own failure.
LISTEN UP!!! You have only failed when you GIVE UP, if you die trying to succeed, you never truly failed. Use the anger to fuel you back into excitement and passion like never before or the road ends here for you. C'mon... do you even KNOW what awaits?

PASSION (the re-birthing phase)
HEY! You made it!  Congratulations! You allowed your fear, frustrations and anger to lead you back to me. Passion is stirring inside of you again and you won't stop now until you achieve the goal. THIS is where the magic happens. You have made it through the worst of times and have learned along the way how tough you truly are. It's time to plan again... leave the mistakes out and have patience. Trust that in time everything will happen exactly as you had planned. What other people say no longer matters, you are bulletproof. When you get knocked down, you won't stay down, you will jump up with a tear in your eye and keep running.

EXCITEMENT (the victory phase)
It was ALL worth it... I told you I would be back, and now I am more vibrant and meaningful than before. YOU DID IT! Your goal has been realized and the train is full speed ahead. You know the run, you know why you derailed and have fixed the issues so now you are running like the well oiled machine you were built to be. Enjoy this phase even more than last time... it is here to stay; it's also when the next goal is typically set.

Ready to go again???? I thought so!

Until next time... 

xoxo

Shells

Look for the full training on setting goals and achieving them during my 

weekend workshops  coming in fall 2015!

WWW.THESGIARDGROUP.COM

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IF YOU LIKE MY BLOGS, YOU WILL LOVE MY BOOK

To purchase a signed copy 

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How to Measure Success and Failure

How do you measure success? Do you feel successful or do you feel like a complete failure in life?Chances are that you are wrong on both counts if you are most people.

If you measure success only by monetary definition, you will fail to recognize that success can also be measured by the goals that were set and achieved in ones life. Many of the most successful entrepreneurs known today spent years setting and reaching goals, trying something and failing at it over and over again before finally having that moment of victory. Some even died before their fame was even recognized; they literally died trying to succeed at something they loved.

Failure does not mean you lack success, it simply shows that you are learning how NOT to do something. 

Before becoming successful, Thomas Edison tried more than 10,000 times to invent the light bulb.   When asked about his failures, Edison stated  “I know definitively over 9,000 ways that an electric light bulb will not work.”

Colonel Sanders founded KFC “Kentucky Fried Chicken” when he was 56 years old.  His recipe was reportedly rejected over 1,000 times before a restaurant picked it up. He proved that it's never too late to become a success,

I know that I would much rather die trying than to die saying "What if I had tried?"

Henry Ford founded two automotive companies that failed before he was able to gain success with the Ford Motor Company. At his time of death,  Ford’s estimated net worth was $188 billion dollars.

What do you think he celebrated more? His failures or his victory? I would be willing to bet that if he had never failed he would not have been as driven to succeed.

Dr. Seuss's first manuscript was rejected 27 times before it was published, however because he never gave up, he became one of the most recognized children's writers of all time. 

Today, his quotes are searched more that 135,000 times per month according to Google and every person over the age of 4 knows who he is.

There is something inside the heart of an entrepreneur that burns... a desire that never fades, and while everyone around you may laugh or feel that you have something to prove... you know that it's not abut proving anything... it's just how you tick; you could not stop it if you tried. I have failed, I have made huge mistakes in my life, but I continue to keep going because of a desire that I simply cannot explain and often that drive and ambition alienates me from others simply because they don't get me. I am not invited to many cookouts or parties because they probably figure I am "too busy" to come. (Unfortunately, they may even be right) 

We only have one life... we are meant to live it to the fullest. We were not designed for mediocrity, we were designed with PURPOSE. No matter how crazy we may seem to others... no matter how many times we look at our bank balance and wonder if it will ever match our efforts... an entrepreneur will never cave into mediocrity; we would rather struggle to win than struggle to lose. My bank account does not at all match the time I have put in, but I know one day that it will.... or I will simply die with passion in my heart to see how far I can push myself.

Embrace failure for what it is... an opportunity to learn something that you did not know before. Chalk it up and say "Well, I guess that did not work, let me try something different." Success is all about perspective, so keep yours in check if success is what you wish; who cares what everyone else thinks, including the bank that manages your bank account. 

Your ability to succeed lies in your mind, but mostly of all, it lives and bleeds from your heart. 

Until next time...

xoxo

Shells

                                                   

                                                                               

                                                          

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