How to Measure Success and Failure

How do you measure success? Do you feel successful or do you feel like a complete failure in life?Chances are that you are wrong on both counts if you are most people.

If you measure success only by monetary definition, you will fail to recognize that success can also be measured by the goals that were set and achieved in ones life. Many of the most successful entrepreneurs known today spent years setting and reaching goals, trying something and failing at it over and over again before finally having that moment of victory. Some even died before their fame was even recognized; they literally died trying to succeed at something they loved.

Failure does not mean you lack success, it simply shows that you are learning how NOT to do something. 

Before becoming successful, Thomas Edison tried more than 10,000 times to invent the light bulb.   When asked about his failures, Edison stated  “I know definitively over 9,000 ways that an electric light bulb will not work.”

Colonel Sanders founded KFC “Kentucky Fried Chicken” when he was 56 years old.  His recipe was reportedly rejected over 1,000 times before a restaurant picked it up. He proved that it's never too late to become a success,

I know that I would much rather die trying than to die saying "What if I had tried?"

Henry Ford founded two automotive companies that failed before he was able to gain success with the Ford Motor Company. At his time of death,  Ford’s estimated net worth was $188 billion dollars.

What do you think he celebrated more? His failures or his victory? I would be willing to bet that if he had never failed he would not have been as driven to succeed.

Dr. Seuss's first manuscript was rejected 27 times before it was published, however because he never gave up, he became one of the most recognized children's writers of all time. 

Today, his quotes are searched more that 135,000 times per month according to Google and every person over the age of 4 knows who he is.

There is something inside the heart of an entrepreneur that burns... a desire that never fades, and while everyone around you may laugh or feel that you have something to prove... you know that it's not abut proving anything... it's just how you tick; you could not stop it if you tried. I have failed, I have made huge mistakes in my life, but I continue to keep going because of a desire that I simply cannot explain and often that drive and ambition alienates me from others simply because they don't get me. I am not invited to many cookouts or parties because they probably figure I am "too busy" to come. (Unfortunately, they may even be right) 

We only have one life... we are meant to live it to the fullest. We were not designed for mediocrity, we were designed with PURPOSE. No matter how crazy we may seem to others... no matter how many times we look at our bank balance and wonder if it will ever match our efforts... an entrepreneur will never cave into mediocrity; we would rather struggle to win than struggle to lose. My bank account does not at all match the time I have put in, but I know one day that it will.... or I will simply die with passion in my heart to see how far I can push myself.

Embrace failure for what it is... an opportunity to learn something that you did not know before. Chalk it up and say "Well, I guess that did not work, let me try something different." Success is all about perspective, so keep yours in check if success is what you wish; who cares what everyone else thinks, including the bank that manages your bank account. 

Your ability to succeed lies in your mind, but mostly of all, it lives and bleeds from your heart. 

Until next time...

xoxo

Shells

                                                   

                                                                               

                                                          

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How Do You Handle Failure?

This week was the first week that the kids went back to school after what seemed to be an EXTRA long vacation. With Thanksgiving and Christmas being so close together this year, it seemed like they were home for a month. As if that were not exhausting enough, I learned on the second day back, that my 12 year old's bus schedule changed and would be picking her up a half an hour earlier. That may not sound too bad until I disclose that her bus now comes at 5:25 a.m. instead of 5:55; meaning I have to get up at 4:30 now. So.... it has been QUITE the week for everyone.

Thursday was "one of those mornings". You know the kind of day that you perfectly planned out but then starts out different than you had anticipated? If you plan your days out like me, this often throw things off dramatically which can quickly lead to a snowball effect. Well, it was THAT kind of morning. Since I try to keep myself in mental check, I typically figure in wiggle room for mishaps... I have three kids, it's the inevitable, so it's necessary to figure in this time and yesterday was no exception. I was booked with a freelance job in Sarasota, which is about an hour and a half away and had planned my time out perfectly. I packed most of my things up the night before so that I would not forget anything but did leave a few things for the morning. NO problem. What I did NOT take in to account was how tired I was going to be due to 3 days of less sleep; I was moving a little slower.

 I was ready to go, the car was packed and I was off; tired but motivated for a great day. Soon after getting on the "expressway" traffic came to a stop... no end in sight and I had NO idea why. No exaggeration, it took me an hour to go about 15 miles. I sent the photographer a text along with a photo of the traffic jam and estimated my new arrival time. Luckily he was fine and just told me to be safe. In the end, a trip that should have taken me an hour and a half took me over 2 hours. If you know me, you KNOW that I HATE being late. If I am on time.. I am late, if I am late, SOMETHING MAJOR happened... (or perhaps my kids hid my keys.) I easily could have become irate, I could have let it ruin my day, but with more wisdom now than I had a few years ago, I REALLY set out to have a good day therefore could not let a traffic snafu set the bar for the rest of my afternoon. Not to mention that the model who hired me was a new client and showing up irritated would have made her uneasy, so I turned up my radio (music makes me happy) and sang loudly in my car while I patiently waited in gridlock.

Finally, as I approached the exit off the not-so "express" way onto the highway for my shoot, traffic cleared and it was smooth sailing. "COOL!" I thought... my new ETA was right on. I am driving... cruising and singing as I glance into my back seat realizing I had not done my mental check list for the items in the car, so I did it in the rear-view mirror. OH CRAP! I frantically searched for my hair styling case which holds my hair styling tools, flat iron, brushes, pins, curling wand styling products... IT WAS NOT THERE! Are you KIDDING? Too far into this trip now, I got angry at myself for a moment and then took a deep breath and said... you can do this... 22 years in; you got this. I kept driving and stayed positive when I truly wanted to scream, kick and punch myself. Seriously? You are THIS seasoned and you forgot your HAIR KIT? FAIL!

Long story longer, ( I am really good at that) I get to the studio, walk in with a smile on my face and said... "Well, I am an hour late AND I left my hair kit at home, but WE are going to ROCK this day so let's DO IT!" And well... we did. I managed to create the first look with minimal tools that the photographer happened to have and left for good 'ole CVS as soon as I got her wardrobe laid out for the first two sets. I bought a $17 bottle of hairspray that as an industry professional would typically only have to pay $7 for, a $40 Conair curling wand, bobby pins, ponytail holders and a hairbrush/comb set. I went back and banged out 5 more sets that afternoon and well... my day was awesome, I got a huge tip and the photos were amazing.

WBFF PRO 

Jill Diorio

Photo credits GW Burns

Now, the point of this LONG story is this....

Many people DON'T succeed because of their fears of failure. Many people FEEL like a failure when things don't go as planned. We beat ourselves up, get angry, resentful, frustrated and that gets us nowhere. In fact, you cannot think straight at all or problem solve when your mind is a wreck. Think about it... think of a time when something like this happened to you. How did you handle that failure? Did you fall apart and cave in or did you Face it, deal with it, and rock a solution? My hope is that by suffering through this long, drawn out story that you will face your next failure differently... and realize that it is an opportunity to shine; to show 'em what you got. When you can handle failure effectively, you realize the opportunity it brings and THAT small little twist in your thinking can change your life and your business. Now rock that failure and shine baby... shine bright!

xoxo

Shells

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What a SIGNIFICANT Day This Is...

Hi Guys!

 I was flown out to California last Monday to complete a ghost-writing project that I have been diligently working on since March. There were 6 more chapters to write and I am ELATED to announce that I just completed the book about 30 minutes ago. I also write a guest blog the first Monday of each month for Hopes Not A Crime; a ministry that I am an inspirational speaker AKA "Hope Ambassador" for. However, due to my busy week of LITERALLY staring at a computer screen in cozy yoga pants, no makeup and classical music playing in my headphones, I had not gotten the chance to write it. I decided that I would get it done as SOON as I finished the book; the goal I was attacking today with an intensity I cannot even explain. It is a book about finding faith in God's will and keeping hope through the adversity you encounter in life, and well.... I must say that it's an amazing read.

I kind of feel like that writer that recluses for weeks then comes out with her manuscript in hand, hair disheveled screaming “It’s  done!” (Actually that's kind of how it really happened except it was only 6 days)

Here I sit, ready to write my guest blog and it just struck midnight... making it August 5th... 2013. I looked up to God and smiled... as a tear came to my eye. I have felt his presence in this room all week, and now I wonder if it was Him I was feeling or perhaps someone else I know. ( Hi Teresa!) What a significant day August 5th is in my life... August 5th, 2011 is also when I finished my first book... a memoir which was dedicated to my sister who died on August 5th, 1981. The day that my life changed forever, the event that shattered my belief in God which led me down a long and lonely path of Atheism where I was lost for years. How miraculously things have changed since then, how beautiful I feel my story truly is but I have now helped someone else share theirs in another book... through a gift that I was given by HIM and I completed it just 30 minutes before the clock struck twelve the eve of August 5th...

I honestly sit here in awe, in tears, in a full blown emotional moment as God is speaking to me once again, showing me that He is really here. I don't mind if you are not with me on this... I am just sharing, you don't have to believe in it's authenticity... but it is VERY real for me. I then continued to sit here and think of what my plans are for today... I am having lunch with one of my fans/ turned friend who just happens to live just minutes from where I am staying which is literally across the country from my home in Florida. He is a man who lost his child and was able to get my book which talks about grief , loss and how there is purpose for it which I believe can only be revealed if we open our minds and our hearts to the Big Guy. If you read my blog, you KNOW that I am faithful and you KNOW that you should NEVER feel uncomfortable here... regardless of your beliefs; I don't judge because I know where I came from. I just want everyone to have what I have gained in life so I sometimes share through my writing how I got here.

Peace... that's what I have now. The weights of the world  have been lifted off of me as I have learned to trust God more and more. I made a promise to Him the day he revealed what He could do... the day that I was on my knees crying yelling at this "imaginary man" I did not even believe in to SHOW ME he was real because I had nothing left. I was lost, broken and feeling unworthy of anything good. I wanted to have a happier life, and thought that what I was doing was going to get it, man-o-man was I wrong! It was the ONLY time that I gave up in my entire life... I gave up control and screamed for someone else to take over and well... HE did! I made a promise to never lose faith again and I must say that I have only failed to trust completely once since then. I was picked up from my fall VERY quickly when that happened and immediately started that first book. I knew when it was done that THIS was my true calling and that it would be something I would do for the rest of my life. Now... I have made it happen for someone else, I have given them a gift through mine... it's a feeling that I cannot even wrap my brain around, yet I never want this feeling to go away.

In our weakest, darkest moments we lose faith, we shut everyone out so that we don't have to admit failure that we can do it on our own. Guess what? As I sit here 32 years to the day that my beautiful sister Teresa was taken from us, I may be crying... but these are different tears. I am thanking that Big Guy in the sky for giving me peace in taking the very day that made me hate him at one point in my life and turning it into a day that I can celebrate because it now also represents my significant walk back into His loving arms.

If you can only take just ONE THING away from this blog post  please take this...

We all walk aimlessly around at times thinking we can do it all alone. I am here to tell you that when this happens you need something more significant... I encourage you to find what that is for YOU.

Have an amazing day!

xoxo

~Shells~

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