He Says...I Believe; So You Should Too

After a very long week and even longer weekend away on business, I truly felt like going to bed tonight and skip the blog, especially after being on the road all day driving home. However, staying focused on my priorities and being consistent is very important to me. As easy as it is to get  distracted I refused to bail on my priorities tonight since I have committed to writing a blog every Monday. Now here I sit with tired eyes and a hot cup of coffee.

I attended a leadership conference this weekend a few states away with my kids and nanny in tow... it was great. I took so much away from it, so I was expecting to write on something that stuck with me. Yet as I sat to write, I was driven to write about something more spiritual, personal and intimate. I don't know why really, but when I am led from the gut, I know it's God, so I listen and obey. 

My guess is that someone needs this today, so here it goes. (forgive my weary self for any type errors or sentences that may run on.)

I DON'T BELIEVE IT

Not everyone believes they are meant for greatness, that they have the abilities to do anything they set their mind to, nor do they have faith that they can recover after they fall flat on their face. Competing with your own doubtful mind is the most difficult thing to do, especially when trying to recover from a tough blow. When we are hurt, saddened, angered or shaken, we often take a hit to our faith, belief, pride, ego, self esteem and self worth. Nothing seems worse than the situation, the circumstance or the pain we are going through and we fear of ever going through it again.

HOLDING BACK

When we are hurt, we shelter ourselves, we hide and often repel even the good things that come our way fearing that we don't deserve them, that they are artificial, or that they will hurt us and disappear just like things from our past. The problem lies most in the fact that holding back will never push us forward, it will simply keep us where we are or push us even deeper into our hole.

COME OUT WHEREVER YOU ARE

It's time to come out... to peek outside and face the fears that you have within you to experience the goodness that waits. Holes are deep, dark, cold and lonely. God says that He believes in us, that He believes in us so much that me has prepared a life for us, one of greatness, abundance, happiness and peace. Our only job is to seek and find... to trust and obey... to see it and seize it in obedience. Are you hiding in a hole rejecting what God has for you or are you going to come out and gather the gifts He has to give you?

I CAN'T LIE, IT MAY HAPPEN AGAIN

I lost count years ago how many people have hurt me, failed me, rejected me and saddened me... I chose to stop counting so that I could carry on. Quite frankly I'd still be counting if I hadn't made that choice. I discovered that as long as I was keeping score, I stayed in the game. Every time it happened again, it got easier to recover and though I did not know why, I know now it was God's way of building strength for what was coming. I needed more mental toughness, more resilience, more fight for the future hurdles I would face and through these trials that continue, I come closer and closer to Him. I trust more and more in my faith; it's on purpose.

IF I COULD DO IT ALL AGAIN

I think back and can't imagine how many things I would have missed out on if I had stayed in my hole and not taken the next step. Sure, I continue to suffer from hurt, sadness and disappointing times, but I bounce back quicker from the tears each time it occurs. Through the process, I have been humbled as my ego was shattered and flushed away. My heart softened, my bitterness ended and it was all replaced with compassion, peace and hope for all I have ever wanted no matter how out of reach some things still seem. I suppose knowing what I know now, if given the chance to do it all over, I would ask for the same gifts... that is how I truly try to look at things even when I am tearful and confused as to the "why".

HE BELIEVES

What will you do? Will you move on from your pain, hurt,  rejection, anger and resentment and accept a life fulfilled? OR will you stay in your hole, that darkness, that cold and lonely place and die without hope and happiness? God believes IN YOU! He has given you all the talent, all the drive and ambition to be amazing. Through these trials, he has built your strength. Maybe you don't see or feel it maybe you've never revealed it, or maybe you have buried it... but I promise you it's there. I further promise that if you pay attention, He will place the people you need to unleash it directly into your path if you call upon Him. Remember, HE has prepared a life for you. Will you take that step of faith? 

I encourage you to choose life instead of strife and love instead of loneliness. 

Until next time....

PURSUE WHAT YOU HOPE FOR; LEAVE BEHIND WHAT YOU WISH TO FORGET.... 

xoxo

Shells

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Answered Prayers....

Single parenting is hard enough, but having to get through the teenage years without a dad around... especially if you are raising a girl, can easily drive you into a place of worry and confusion. In a world that is still a bit double standard and somewhat "for the man", molding  and guiding a daughter into becoming a responsible, successful, independent, wholesome lady who carries herself in a respectful manner is quite a challenge.

In this day and age when sexual impurity is in their faces from television to Instagram and songs are all about girls being objects of good looks and rockin' bodies... the job can feel impossible. Raising a boy, your concerns are isolated to him, however when you have a girl, your concerns include all the boys out there that will use her, abuse her and leave her heartbroken.

My oldest daughter, now 23, went through "that stage" of boy craziness from 12-14, and although we both managed to get through it, so much has changed. As I raise my second teenage daughter I simply cannot keep up with the fast pace of the internet, YouTube and phone apps and all they can corrupt her with.

It is times like this when I am so thankful that God lead me back to my faith through all of my own poor decisions and adversity. I can at least pour into my children the truth of what having a strong faith means, and how it can be used as a guide through the tough times of temptation and inevitable inner struggles they will go through.

About a month ago as we drove home from church one Sunday, my 13 year old daughter Baleigh says to me... "Mom, I don't think I believe in God." Trying not to show it, my heart literally sank, as I remembered my own history and how I stopped believing in God around the same age. My reasons were different than hers but I was still able to relate. Her comment started a conversation and I asked her why she felt this way. Her answer was "Because I can't see Him or feel Him, even though we are supposed to feel Him. I say prayers and they are not answered, so I just don't get it."

I began to tell her my own faith story and how I felt the same way she did and that I chose a path of being a non-believer for a very long time and that I struggled a lot in life. I shared the story of how I was eventually led back to belief in God and that it was through that miraculous moment when "God showed up and showed off" that I finally "felt" He was there for me.

I told her that one day something would occur in her life to give her that same feeling and that I hoped it would not take as long as it did for me. I encouraged her to continue to believe, and to continue to pray; that one day He would show up and let her know He was with her.

Over the past few weeks, I have been reading a book called "The Circle Maker"  which is a spiritual book filled with stories and scripture about "praying through" and the power of praying in circles. I am thoroughly enjoying what I am discovering through reading this book and admit that as I have been using the prayer techniques it teaches over the past several weeks; miraculous things have happened. I have "felt" His presence more than ever before and developed an even stronger feeling of closeness, seeing my prayers being answered so quickly.

This past Thursday, my daughter Baleigh got on a plane to Kansas to visit my brother for a month. Part of the reason we chose to have her visit was because her choices have not been the greatest lately and my concerns have grown. My brother felt that maybe some time with a "father figure" could help. He's that "fun uncle" that also has that reality check authority when it is needed. She listens to and respects him , so we gave it a shot.

For the past two weeks since Baleigh shared that she was not sure God was real, I have been praying for my her in great detail asking God to allow her to "feel" His presence,.. to show her in His way that He was with  her. The night before she left, I prayed again... this time even more specifically and at the end I thanked Him in advance for what He would do to show her He existed as if it had already happened.

On Thursday morning, my oldest daughter Cierra was going to take Baleigh to the airport but did not get a good night's rest, so plans changed and I ended up taking her. We had a few frustrating delays in leaving for the airport and I had to stop at the ATM to get her some cash, but we finally arrived with only an hour before her 6:35 am flight. The line to check baggage was awful, and I was worried we would not get through it in time, when suddenly they asked all people who were on her flight to jump ahead in line. Relief came over me.

We approached the counter and I announced that she was an unaccompanied minor. The ticketing lady handed me paperwork to fill out while she checked her bag in. She then proceeded to say  "That will be $161.00 plus tax" I was shocked... asking why I was having to pay more, she said anyone traveling alone under 15 had to pay for attendant assistance. I had only gone to the airport with my drivers license and my cell phone TOTALLY unprepared for this. I looked at Baleigh and said, I guess you won't be able to go.

As I stood there not knowing what to do, the time was ticking and now we had  only 30 minutes before her flight left and had not even gone through security. I stepped to the side to make a call to my brother to see if he could pay for this over the phone and just as I did, the ticket lady looked at me and said "They are taking care of it." Puzzled, I said "Excuse me?"  She pointed to the people standing at her counter and said " They are paying the fee for you." Shocked, I told my brother never mind and hung up the phone after telling him the people behind me were paying for it.

I was truly blown away; I am the type of person who has done things like this many times... I have purchased food, shoes and clothing for homeless guys standing on the side of the road, reached out to people in need, paid for people's gas, groceries and even tolls, but this was nearly $200.00,  nobody had EVER done something like this for me. I looked at them and said... "All I can say is thank you, I do things like this all of the time... now I know what it feels like to receive such a gift. Please let me repay you, can I have your mailing address?"... to which they said no. The ticket lady was smiling and said I will call the gate and tell them you are on your way.

We rushed towards security, stood in a long line and finally headed towards the gate. Tears began to roll down my face... and Baleigh asked me what was wrong. I shared with her how I had been praying for God to show up and show her He was real for weeks... and that I felt that this moment was just that. She laughed and said, "Really mom?" And I said, sweetheart... yes, and I told her what I had prayed for the night before.

As she boarded the plane I was filled with gratitude, and headed back to my car. As I was driving, I began to thank God for showing up... and asked Him to continue to show her His grace. A few moments later I got a text from Baleigh...

"Mom!!! you are NOT going to believe this!!!! The people that paid for my ticket are sitting in the seats next to me!!! CAN you believe that???"

As another tear and flood of emotion came over me, I typed, "Yes, Baleigh, YES I can! God is with you sweetie, He is real. Don't doubt His existence."

HE WANTS US TO SEEK HIM
I remember a time when I did not believe... God was imaginary to me because so many bad things had happened to me and my family,starting with the death of my sister. I felt that IF there was a God, He would never would have let those things happen. Life has taught me that until we understand that being grateful for ALL He gives us even when we don't understand the pain, grief and suffering or when we feel we deserve more... we may have to hit a dead end, make some bad decisions and go through some pain, so that we will seek Him. If we never knew hard times, we would not need Him.

However only when we need Him does He have the opportunity to show up and show off... no other explanation is believable in those moments; I know, I have lived through several of them now and I feel closer and closer to Him every time it happens.

I am not here to sway you... I am not here to change you.... I simply share what has happened to me in hopes that it inspires you, touches you, and makes you feel less alone.

Matthew 15:28

Then Jesus answered, "Woman, you have great faith! Your request is granted." And her daughter was healed from that very hour.

Until next time... 

xoxo

Shells

WWW.THESGIARDGROUP.COM

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Become What You Cannot See

Sometimes I wonder how we come out of childhood level headed and not completely confused. Perhaps we aren't level headed or clear on reality actually; maybe THAT is the problem and also the reason why we so often end up disappointed in life.

We are somewhat brainwashed from an early age... it starts with fairy tales that declare every prince will find his princess and that all it takes to live happily ever after...  is a kiss and a fancy castle. We are lied to about Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, Unicorns and Pots of Gold.... What? I looked for them, didn't you?  Oh... well, now you know I was that weird kid who chased rainbows... metaphorically speaking, I suppose still chase them.

 THEN... if that were not enough to mess us up for life, confuse our morals and kill our dreams...

 We were taught things like....

"WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT YOU GET"

 I must strongly disagree this as truth in today's world, in fact, I don't think it has ever been the majority ruling if we can be honest.

Think about it....if what you see is supposed to be what you get, then why is it that so often people deceive and pretend to be what they are not? Why do people struggle so hard to be themselves day to day? Why do others have expectations set so high that you feel you have to pretend in the first place? After all, being true to who you are is the most freeing privilege you can allow yourself.  I know this, because I am in that place. A few years ago when I "found myself" again, I realized also in that time why I had lost myself to begin with. It was in that realization that I learned more about myself than I ever had. It made me also realize how many others were doing the same things I had because I was living it.

Fake body parts, padded undergarments, Botox injections, designer clothing, expensive purses, fancy cars... there is nothing really wrong with nice things or looking your best, but why has this become what defines us instead of simply WHO WE ARE? Wouldn't life be so much simpler if we could just say... what you see is what you get and be done?

How many times have you caught yourself thinking or perhaps even saying... "I don't know who I am anymore" ? Yep... me too. A thousand times throughout my life I have spoken those words or thought that thought. So what can we do to change that? Well... we must

LEARN TO LIVE THE PRINCIPAL...

"WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT YOU GET" 

We must  simply stop being fake and start being real. We must become what we cannot see, we must force others to look beyond the surface and fall in love with who we are; what makes us tick.

Don't be ashamed of your past, don't hide your present, LIVE in it... and never, EVER fear your future. I can testify that your own personal story of all three stages will inspire someone. Be proud of who you are, how you got to where you are and by all means, claim where you intend to go. Know that every mistake, hiccup, shortfall and bad decision, made you who you are. These things are what makes you real, relatable and inspiring. Allow these things to help make your life a mission with purpose, a journey you can embrace at every turn. We are all here to make a difference, some of us ignore that calling and some of us simply do whatever we can to spread  the messages that we all need to know and practice in order to live an abundant and happy life.

Today, and every day... I encourage you to work on finding yourself if that person is lost. Define who you are, claim it, be proud of that person and begin again. It's never too late to claim what was once yours. Allow yourself the freedom of just being you and stop caring about what everyone else thinks; that's how you got lost in the first place.

I PROMISE you that it is in this stage of life that EVERYTHING that you ever wanted will begin to happen, the people who will be in your life forever will show up and make themselves known... and because you are here, you will notice them. The fairy tale life you always wanted will become your reality.

"When you stop resisting what is naturally supposed to happen, 

a happier life will begin to fall into place." 

© Shelley Giard 2010

Until next time... 

xoxo

Shells

WWW.THESGIARDGROUP.COM

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What a SIGNIFICANT Day This Is...

Hi Guys!

 I was flown out to California last Monday to complete a ghost-writing project that I have been diligently working on since March. There were 6 more chapters to write and I am ELATED to announce that I just completed the book about 30 minutes ago. I also write a guest blog the first Monday of each month for Hopes Not A Crime; a ministry that I am an inspirational speaker AKA "Hope Ambassador" for. However, due to my busy week of LITERALLY staring at a computer screen in cozy yoga pants, no makeup and classical music playing in my headphones, I had not gotten the chance to write it. I decided that I would get it done as SOON as I finished the book; the goal I was attacking today with an intensity I cannot even explain. It is a book about finding faith in God's will and keeping hope through the adversity you encounter in life, and well.... I must say that it's an amazing read.

I kind of feel like that writer that recluses for weeks then comes out with her manuscript in hand, hair disheveled screaming “It’s  done!” (Actually that's kind of how it really happened except it was only 6 days)

Here I sit, ready to write my guest blog and it just struck midnight... making it August 5th... 2013. I looked up to God and smiled... as a tear came to my eye. I have felt his presence in this room all week, and now I wonder if it was Him I was feeling or perhaps someone else I know. ( Hi Teresa!) What a significant day August 5th is in my life... August 5th, 2011 is also when I finished my first book... a memoir which was dedicated to my sister who died on August 5th, 1981. The day that my life changed forever, the event that shattered my belief in God which led me down a long and lonely path of Atheism where I was lost for years. How miraculously things have changed since then, how beautiful I feel my story truly is but I have now helped someone else share theirs in another book... through a gift that I was given by HIM and I completed it just 30 minutes before the clock struck twelve the eve of August 5th...

I honestly sit here in awe, in tears, in a full blown emotional moment as God is speaking to me once again, showing me that He is really here. I don't mind if you are not with me on this... I am just sharing, you don't have to believe in it's authenticity... but it is VERY real for me. I then continued to sit here and think of what my plans are for today... I am having lunch with one of my fans/ turned friend who just happens to live just minutes from where I am staying which is literally across the country from my home in Florida. He is a man who lost his child and was able to get my book which talks about grief , loss and how there is purpose for it which I believe can only be revealed if we open our minds and our hearts to the Big Guy. If you read my blog, you KNOW that I am faithful and you KNOW that you should NEVER feel uncomfortable here... regardless of your beliefs; I don't judge because I know where I came from. I just want everyone to have what I have gained in life so I sometimes share through my writing how I got here.

Peace... that's what I have now. The weights of the world  have been lifted off of me as I have learned to trust God more and more. I made a promise to Him the day he revealed what He could do... the day that I was on my knees crying yelling at this "imaginary man" I did not even believe in to SHOW ME he was real because I had nothing left. I was lost, broken and feeling unworthy of anything good. I wanted to have a happier life, and thought that what I was doing was going to get it, man-o-man was I wrong! It was the ONLY time that I gave up in my entire life... I gave up control and screamed for someone else to take over and well... HE did! I made a promise to never lose faith again and I must say that I have only failed to trust completely once since then. I was picked up from my fall VERY quickly when that happened and immediately started that first book. I knew when it was done that THIS was my true calling and that it would be something I would do for the rest of my life. Now... I have made it happen for someone else, I have given them a gift through mine... it's a feeling that I cannot even wrap my brain around, yet I never want this feeling to go away.

In our weakest, darkest moments we lose faith, we shut everyone out so that we don't have to admit failure that we can do it on our own. Guess what? As I sit here 32 years to the day that my beautiful sister Teresa was taken from us, I may be crying... but these are different tears. I am thanking that Big Guy in the sky for giving me peace in taking the very day that made me hate him at one point in my life and turning it into a day that I can celebrate because it now also represents my significant walk back into His loving arms.

If you can only take just ONE THING away from this blog post  please take this...

We all walk aimlessly around at times thinking we can do it all alone. I am here to tell you that when this happens you need something more significant... I encourage you to find what that is for YOU.

Have an amazing day!

xoxo

~Shells~

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Is There Always Tomorrow?

"There is always tomorrow"  is such an odd phrase even though it's something I say all of the time. Being optimistic, I am always thinking ahead of the game, after the rain, beyond the clouds, over the rainbow and living like there IS always tomorrow. However... if we are honest with ourselves, we know that there isn't always tomorrow. Our time in this world is not forever, as much as we like to think it is.

I decided to write this blog tonight because my Facebook feed has been filled with lots of devastating news lately. I micro-control my feed to keep it as positive as I can, however a lot of people I know have lost loved ones and pets, some are dealing with diagnosis', but they are all grieving & dealing with what feels like unbearable pain; pain that is indescribable to someone who has never experienced it. Grief is an unfortunate part of life; we grieve those we lose, we hurt for those around us that are going through it, and we long for one more day and realize how lucky we truly are to get it. 

I know first-hand what happens during grieving after losing my sister when I was a young girl. I watched my whole family fall to pieces and I went through my own stages of grief, and although we all dealt with it differently there is one thing in common between us; it has never gone away. Sure, I could sit here and candy-coat it and say that it goes away, but that's not true and I am as honest as they come. What I CAN tell you is that although it never ends... it does get easier as you travel through the stages one day at a time, and that is how you have to go through it... one day at a time.

My sister passed away 32 years ago this coming August, and I still grieve for her. The stage I am in now is more of a reminiscent one, I remember her for all that she was, wonder who she would be today and smile when I think of her as I wipe tears from my eyes. The tears are both sad ones and happy ones... sad for the moments I miss her and wish I still had a big sister to talk to, to go shopping with and to "just be girls" and the happy ones remembering the moments when she was here and knowing how proud she would be of how I have turned out. 

There are many things you can do to try and take away the pain, a lot of people begin to drink, or take get depression pills to "mask" the pain they are feeling. Both of which will lead you to a downward spiral that leads to nowhere; I know... I became a drunk teen. Then for a long time, I poured my heart out onto paper in a journal; my moments of anger, sadness, worry... moments that I hated everything that had happened TO me because of it. What I did not take the time to do was to appreciate what it did FOR me; that is until just a few years ago. I was raised in a Christian home, attended a Christian school, and lived a Christian life as a child. After the death of my sister, I did not understand... I was taught that God would protect and care for us, so why was this happening? For years I had these thoughts and because I kept them bottled in and told nobody how I was feeling, I formed my own opinion... and that was that God wasn't real. I decided it was all a fairy tale, a make-believe thing like Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny... a lie our parents told us so we would behave and listen. I lived with that belief for years... as an unannounced Atheist. That's so hard to say now that I am in a different place and it actually makes me sad.

Thank GOD... literally that I was dealt a bunch of adversity, a bunch of absolute crap-ola in order to change my mind again. I will admit to you however that I was hit HARD, torn down to the core so that I had nothing left,  I was out-of-gas and luckily my mom was with me at that moment to remind me to ask the "big guy" to change what I was being dealt. I recall mocking and yelling angrily as I fell to my knees... "Okay God... you want to show me you are real? Then take it... just take it, I am done, got nothing left!" Well, I promise you that he showed me how real he was and I was forever changed in less than 24 hours.

Am I perfect? Ummm NO, do you have to be perfect? NO! Do you have to believe that you are not in this game of life alone in order for things to work as they are supposed to? Yep. I am not "preaching" nor do I judge anyone for their beliefs, and I am not shoving ANYTHING down anyone's throat... that's simply not my style. What I AM doing is sharing my story and letting you know that it has changed me. I no longer think about what things in life did TO me, I live by what they did FOR me and THAT my friends is the most amazing feeling and experience of my life thus far. I found my reasons why, and through that I found purpose in life. I also gained compassion, empathy, understanding and am now living the life I always dreamt of living (minus just a few things but I have faith they are coming too!)

I still live like there is always tomorrow... and I encourage you to do the same, but you must also live every day as if it is your last. Although that seems a bit contrary... if you read it more than once and absorb what the message says... you'll get it. And if you don't email me... (shelley@shelleygiard.com)

For all of my friend's who are grieving, who are sad, lost, hopeless and in need of making sense of what you are going through, remember to take it one day at a time. Don't be afraid to ask someone that prays to pray for you if you don't believe... don't be afraid to admit that you want to believe that it's all happening with reason, and trust that it all is. I promise you... as hard as it may seem right now, it HAS a purpose. I hope you are lucky enough to find your "why"... I did, and I wrote a book about it. That in itself helped me, and now, I help others which has made everything worth-while. 

Have a great night! Stay strong and remember... one day at a time.

lots of XOXOXO

~Shells~

www.shelleygiard.com