Answered Prayers....

Single parenting is hard enough, but having to get through the teenage years without a dad around... especially if you are raising a girl, can easily drive you into a place of worry and confusion. In a world that is still a bit double standard and somewhat "for the man", molding  and guiding a daughter into becoming a responsible, successful, independent, wholesome lady who carries herself in a respectful manner is quite a challenge.

In this day and age when sexual impurity is in their faces from television to Instagram and songs are all about girls being objects of good looks and rockin' bodies... the job can feel impossible. Raising a boy, your concerns are isolated to him, however when you have a girl, your concerns include all the boys out there that will use her, abuse her and leave her heartbroken.

My oldest daughter, now 23, went through "that stage" of boy craziness from 12-14, and although we both managed to get through it, so much has changed. As I raise my second teenage daughter I simply cannot keep up with the fast pace of the internet, YouTube and phone apps and all they can corrupt her with.

It is times like this when I am so thankful that God lead me back to my faith through all of my own poor decisions and adversity. I can at least pour into my children the truth of what having a strong faith means, and how it can be used as a guide through the tough times of temptation and inevitable inner struggles they will go through.

About a month ago as we drove home from church one Sunday, my 13 year old daughter Baleigh says to me... "Mom, I don't think I believe in God." Trying not to show it, my heart literally sank, as I remembered my own history and how I stopped believing in God around the same age. My reasons were different than hers but I was still able to relate. Her comment started a conversation and I asked her why she felt this way. Her answer was "Because I can't see Him or feel Him, even though we are supposed to feel Him. I say prayers and they are not answered, so I just don't get it."

I began to tell her my own faith story and how I felt the same way she did and that I chose a path of being a non-believer for a very long time and that I struggled a lot in life. I shared the story of how I was eventually led back to belief in God and that it was through that miraculous moment when "God showed up and showed off" that I finally "felt" He was there for me.

I told her that one day something would occur in her life to give her that same feeling and that I hoped it would not take as long as it did for me. I encouraged her to continue to believe, and to continue to pray; that one day He would show up and let her know He was with her.

Over the past few weeks, I have been reading a book called "The Circle Maker"  which is a spiritual book filled with stories and scripture about "praying through" and the power of praying in circles. I am thoroughly enjoying what I am discovering through reading this book and admit that as I have been using the prayer techniques it teaches over the past several weeks; miraculous things have happened. I have "felt" His presence more than ever before and developed an even stronger feeling of closeness, seeing my prayers being answered so quickly.

This past Thursday, my daughter Baleigh got on a plane to Kansas to visit my brother for a month. Part of the reason we chose to have her visit was because her choices have not been the greatest lately and my concerns have grown. My brother felt that maybe some time with a "father figure" could help. He's that "fun uncle" that also has that reality check authority when it is needed. She listens to and respects him , so we gave it a shot.

For the past two weeks since Baleigh shared that she was not sure God was real, I have been praying for my her in great detail asking God to allow her to "feel" His presence,.. to show her in His way that He was with  her. The night before she left, I prayed again... this time even more specifically and at the end I thanked Him in advance for what He would do to show her He existed as if it had already happened.

On Thursday morning, my oldest daughter Cierra was going to take Baleigh to the airport but did not get a good night's rest, so plans changed and I ended up taking her. We had a few frustrating delays in leaving for the airport and I had to stop at the ATM to get her some cash, but we finally arrived with only an hour before her 6:35 am flight. The line to check baggage was awful, and I was worried we would not get through it in time, when suddenly they asked all people who were on her flight to jump ahead in line. Relief came over me.

We approached the counter and I announced that she was an unaccompanied minor. The ticketing lady handed me paperwork to fill out while she checked her bag in. She then proceeded to say  "That will be $161.00 plus tax" I was shocked... asking why I was having to pay more, she said anyone traveling alone under 15 had to pay for attendant assistance. I had only gone to the airport with my drivers license and my cell phone TOTALLY unprepared for this. I looked at Baleigh and said, I guess you won't be able to go.

As I stood there not knowing what to do, the time was ticking and now we had  only 30 minutes before her flight left and had not even gone through security. I stepped to the side to make a call to my brother to see if he could pay for this over the phone and just as I did, the ticket lady looked at me and said "They are taking care of it." Puzzled, I said "Excuse me?"  She pointed to the people standing at her counter and said " They are paying the fee for you." Shocked, I told my brother never mind and hung up the phone after telling him the people behind me were paying for it.

I was truly blown away; I am the type of person who has done things like this many times... I have purchased food, shoes and clothing for homeless guys standing on the side of the road, reached out to people in need, paid for people's gas, groceries and even tolls, but this was nearly $200.00,  nobody had EVER done something like this for me. I looked at them and said... "All I can say is thank you, I do things like this all of the time... now I know what it feels like to receive such a gift. Please let me repay you, can I have your mailing address?"... to which they said no. The ticket lady was smiling and said I will call the gate and tell them you are on your way.

We rushed towards security, stood in a long line and finally headed towards the gate. Tears began to roll down my face... and Baleigh asked me what was wrong. I shared with her how I had been praying for God to show up and show her He was real for weeks... and that I felt that this moment was just that. She laughed and said, "Really mom?" And I said, sweetheart... yes, and I told her what I had prayed for the night before.

As she boarded the plane I was filled with gratitude, and headed back to my car. As I was driving, I began to thank God for showing up... and asked Him to continue to show her His grace. A few moments later I got a text from Baleigh...

"Mom!!! you are NOT going to believe this!!!! The people that paid for my ticket are sitting in the seats next to me!!! CAN you believe that???"

As another tear and flood of emotion came over me, I typed, "Yes, Baleigh, YES I can! God is with you sweetie, He is real. Don't doubt His existence."

HE WANTS US TO SEEK HIM
I remember a time when I did not believe... God was imaginary to me because so many bad things had happened to me and my family,starting with the death of my sister. I felt that IF there was a God, He would never would have let those things happen. Life has taught me that until we understand that being grateful for ALL He gives us even when we don't understand the pain, grief and suffering or when we feel we deserve more... we may have to hit a dead end, make some bad decisions and go through some pain, so that we will seek Him. If we never knew hard times, we would not need Him.

However only when we need Him does He have the opportunity to show up and show off... no other explanation is believable in those moments; I know, I have lived through several of them now and I feel closer and closer to Him every time it happens.

I am not here to sway you... I am not here to change you.... I simply share what has happened to me in hopes that it inspires you, touches you, and makes you feel less alone.

Matthew 15:28

Then Jesus answered, "Woman, you have great faith! Your request is granted." And her daughter was healed from that very hour.

Until next time... 

xoxo

Shells

WWW.THESGIARDGROUP.COM

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Big Miracles... Big Gifts... Tiny Packages

Sometimes, on Monday's (especially those falling after a holiday weekend off) it's really hard to get your mind back into gear. However, when you have responsibilities and duties such as being a regular blogger, you can't let that be an excuse and with that comes pressure. (BTW, that is a sure-fire way of getting writers block) UGH! This happened to me tonight. Two hours ago, although I posted my "It's blog time" status on Facebook... at the time, I had no topic. I was trying to reverse-psychology myself into coming up with an idea really fast. #FAIL! So.... I decided to wash my face and get ready for bed, then come back to it.

 There I was, in the bathroom washing my face still trying to think of a topic to blog on after an hour or more hour with no luck, I instantly thought...  I will blog on "Do you ever wonder why certain things happen to certain people; how the nicest people typically end up with the most adversity while the heartless jerks make millions and never skip a beat?" The topic transpired as I thought of something that happened late last night with a fan on my page, and as I have shared in my book, adversity has been the story of my own life. I finished washing my face, sat at my computer screen ready to bang out a blog and said "better check email one last time" ( BTW, I had just checked it before washing my face) and in my email inbox I found Amy's story; the fan I was just thinking of from last night.

Now, let me tell you who Amy is. Last night, I was up really late because I could not sleep. (Imagine that) All day long, I had been sharing the link to my friend's fundraising page which was started on July 4th to hopefully raise the money it will take to save her son's life on all my social media sites. (see details in my last blog post)  I was posting real-time updates on how much we had raised so far, attacking this fundraising mission with Gazelle intensity when I suddenly saw a post from a fan of mine whom I do not personally know; her name was Amy. Amy said that she wished she could help but that she was "raising money for her own purpose, to buy her son who was born "asleep" a headstone, but how nice it was to see people pull together to try and help Kody." I suggested that she share Kody's  link on her page and that I would reciprocate by sharing hers on all my social media pages and that way we could help each other without having to involve money. I went further and stated that maybe we could have her on the Hopes Not A Crime radio show and asked her to email me the entire story of her son Caleb to me. She graciously shared our link for Kody's fundraiser and Shellie and I both donated and shared her cause. I of course realized even more, how lucky so many of us truly are. 

As I read her ENTIRE story in email, tears overcame me... as I thought... God just connected us, holy Toledo, GOD just TOTALLY happened! (That's what I believe anyway... it's okay if you are not on board with that, it's still a great story.) NOTHING is by chance; it's ALL on purpose, and I say that all of the time; (my whole book is on that very fact in a more generic sense)

Now that I have read Amy's ENTIRE story, I am seriously overwhelmed. I am speechless, like truly speechless. You have NO idea what these kind of moments mean to me! (Nothing like really feeling connected to the big kahuna) I just wrote Amy back telling her that I am a speaker "aka" Hope Ambassador, for Hopes Not a Crime Ministry and that we look for people JUST LIKE HER to share their stories of keeping hope & faith  through adversity, and that we wanted to put her story on our radio show. I cannot wait to hear back from her, this girl has a story much more profound that losing her son and not having enough money for a headstone. It's truly heart-wrenching in many different directions!

To add  the final layer to the story, I will share that the radio show's guests are typically booked out three weeks in advance, but Shellie messed up her show schedule during all of her own recent struggles of finding out her son Kody had masses in his lungs and throat and seeing him through sudden lung surgery last week. She made a mistake in all the chaos and has nobody for the show this week which she just shared with me last night in a bit of a panic. We were brainstorming together about it and had come up with a fill-in idea, but then, I saw Amy's post on my fan page... and responded to it, and then she responded back tonight while I was washing my face and simultaneously thinking of her with this unbelievable story of faith hope and perseverance WAY beyond a grave with no stone.

No matter how messed up, depressing, or empty your life may seem at times... be happy that you HAVE life, that you are not mourning over someone you lost or needing to raise money for your own cause. Thank you Amy Keaton, for sharing Kody's cause on your page while you are at the same time trying to raise money for a gravestone for your beautiful little Caleb who went back to see Jesus the very day he was born. I KNOW God will bless you with this simple request; to mark the place where his little child rests. Here is me paying it forward! 

CLICK FOR CALEB:

http://www.gofundme.com/38olxs

We want to help Amy get that headstone for Caleb but trust me, her story which we will share on air will give YOU MUCH, MUCH more! I will share the link later this week if we get to air her full story on the show!

SO... 

The moral of this blog is... you don't have to have money to GIVE to a cause, you don't have to do something over the top to change someones life. All you have to do is put heart into something, FEEL that feeling that stirs within you and ACT on it. Big Miracles and Big Gifts often come in the most simple, least impressive & most tiny packages. 

Goodnight, sleep tight may you be blessed beyond your dreams!

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CLICK FOR KODY:

http://fundly.com/a-mother-fighting-for-her-son#supporters/donors

CLICK FOR MY STORY:

www.Ineedthehappyending.com

WOW, JUST WOW! 

XOXO

~SHELLS~

Is There Always Tomorrow?

"There is always tomorrow"  is such an odd phrase even though it's something I say all of the time. Being optimistic, I am always thinking ahead of the game, after the rain, beyond the clouds, over the rainbow and living like there IS always tomorrow. However... if we are honest with ourselves, we know that there isn't always tomorrow. Our time in this world is not forever, as much as we like to think it is.

I decided to write this blog tonight because my Facebook feed has been filled with lots of devastating news lately. I micro-control my feed to keep it as positive as I can, however a lot of people I know have lost loved ones and pets, some are dealing with diagnosis', but they are all grieving & dealing with what feels like unbearable pain; pain that is indescribable to someone who has never experienced it. Grief is an unfortunate part of life; we grieve those we lose, we hurt for those around us that are going through it, and we long for one more day and realize how lucky we truly are to get it. 

I know first-hand what happens during grieving after losing my sister when I was a young girl. I watched my whole family fall to pieces and I went through my own stages of grief, and although we all dealt with it differently there is one thing in common between us; it has never gone away. Sure, I could sit here and candy-coat it and say that it goes away, but that's not true and I am as honest as they come. What I CAN tell you is that although it never ends... it does get easier as you travel through the stages one day at a time, and that is how you have to go through it... one day at a time.

My sister passed away 32 years ago this coming August, and I still grieve for her. The stage I am in now is more of a reminiscent one, I remember her for all that she was, wonder who she would be today and smile when I think of her as I wipe tears from my eyes. The tears are both sad ones and happy ones... sad for the moments I miss her and wish I still had a big sister to talk to, to go shopping with and to "just be girls" and the happy ones remembering the moments when she was here and knowing how proud she would be of how I have turned out. 

There are many things you can do to try and take away the pain, a lot of people begin to drink, or take get depression pills to "mask" the pain they are feeling. Both of which will lead you to a downward spiral that leads to nowhere; I know... I became a drunk teen. Then for a long time, I poured my heart out onto paper in a journal; my moments of anger, sadness, worry... moments that I hated everything that had happened TO me because of it. What I did not take the time to do was to appreciate what it did FOR me; that is until just a few years ago. I was raised in a Christian home, attended a Christian school, and lived a Christian life as a child. After the death of my sister, I did not understand... I was taught that God would protect and care for us, so why was this happening? For years I had these thoughts and because I kept them bottled in and told nobody how I was feeling, I formed my own opinion... and that was that God wasn't real. I decided it was all a fairy tale, a make-believe thing like Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny... a lie our parents told us so we would behave and listen. I lived with that belief for years... as an unannounced Atheist. That's so hard to say now that I am in a different place and it actually makes me sad.

Thank GOD... literally that I was dealt a bunch of adversity, a bunch of absolute crap-ola in order to change my mind again. I will admit to you however that I was hit HARD, torn down to the core so that I had nothing left,  I was out-of-gas and luckily my mom was with me at that moment to remind me to ask the "big guy" to change what I was being dealt. I recall mocking and yelling angrily as I fell to my knees... "Okay God... you want to show me you are real? Then take it... just take it, I am done, got nothing left!" Well, I promise you that he showed me how real he was and I was forever changed in less than 24 hours.

Am I perfect? Ummm NO, do you have to be perfect? NO! Do you have to believe that you are not in this game of life alone in order for things to work as they are supposed to? Yep. I am not "preaching" nor do I judge anyone for their beliefs, and I am not shoving ANYTHING down anyone's throat... that's simply not my style. What I AM doing is sharing my story and letting you know that it has changed me. I no longer think about what things in life did TO me, I live by what they did FOR me and THAT my friends is the most amazing feeling and experience of my life thus far. I found my reasons why, and through that I found purpose in life. I also gained compassion, empathy, understanding and am now living the life I always dreamt of living (minus just a few things but I have faith they are coming too!)

I still live like there is always tomorrow... and I encourage you to do the same, but you must also live every day as if it is your last. Although that seems a bit contrary... if you read it more than once and absorb what the message says... you'll get it. And if you don't email me... (shelley@shelleygiard.com)

For all of my friend's who are grieving, who are sad, lost, hopeless and in need of making sense of what you are going through, remember to take it one day at a time. Don't be afraid to ask someone that prays to pray for you if you don't believe... don't be afraid to admit that you want to believe that it's all happening with reason, and trust that it all is. I promise you... as hard as it may seem right now, it HAS a purpose. I hope you are lucky enough to find your "why"... I did, and I wrote a book about it. That in itself helped me, and now, I help others which has made everything worth-while. 

Have a great night! Stay strong and remember... one day at a time.

lots of XOXOXO

~Shells~

www.shelleygiard.com