What a SIGNIFICANT Day This Is...

Hi Guys!

 I was flown out to California last Monday to complete a ghost-writing project that I have been diligently working on since March. There were 6 more chapters to write and I am ELATED to announce that I just completed the book about 30 minutes ago. I also write a guest blog the first Monday of each month for Hopes Not A Crime; a ministry that I am an inspirational speaker AKA "Hope Ambassador" for. However, due to my busy week of LITERALLY staring at a computer screen in cozy yoga pants, no makeup and classical music playing in my headphones, I had not gotten the chance to write it. I decided that I would get it done as SOON as I finished the book; the goal I was attacking today with an intensity I cannot even explain. It is a book about finding faith in God's will and keeping hope through the adversity you encounter in life, and well.... I must say that it's an amazing read.

I kind of feel like that writer that recluses for weeks then comes out with her manuscript in hand, hair disheveled screaming “It’s  done!” (Actually that's kind of how it really happened except it was only 6 days)

Here I sit, ready to write my guest blog and it just struck midnight... making it August 5th... 2013. I looked up to God and smiled... as a tear came to my eye. I have felt his presence in this room all week, and now I wonder if it was Him I was feeling or perhaps someone else I know. ( Hi Teresa!) What a significant day August 5th is in my life... August 5th, 2011 is also when I finished my first book... a memoir which was dedicated to my sister who died on August 5th, 1981. The day that my life changed forever, the event that shattered my belief in God which led me down a long and lonely path of Atheism where I was lost for years. How miraculously things have changed since then, how beautiful I feel my story truly is but I have now helped someone else share theirs in another book... through a gift that I was given by HIM and I completed it just 30 minutes before the clock struck twelve the eve of August 5th...

I honestly sit here in awe, in tears, in a full blown emotional moment as God is speaking to me once again, showing me that He is really here. I don't mind if you are not with me on this... I am just sharing, you don't have to believe in it's authenticity... but it is VERY real for me. I then continued to sit here and think of what my plans are for today... I am having lunch with one of my fans/ turned friend who just happens to live just minutes from where I am staying which is literally across the country from my home in Florida. He is a man who lost his child and was able to get my book which talks about grief , loss and how there is purpose for it which I believe can only be revealed if we open our minds and our hearts to the Big Guy. If you read my blog, you KNOW that I am faithful and you KNOW that you should NEVER feel uncomfortable here... regardless of your beliefs; I don't judge because I know where I came from. I just want everyone to have what I have gained in life so I sometimes share through my writing how I got here.

Peace... that's what I have now. The weights of the world  have been lifted off of me as I have learned to trust God more and more. I made a promise to Him the day he revealed what He could do... the day that I was on my knees crying yelling at this "imaginary man" I did not even believe in to SHOW ME he was real because I had nothing left. I was lost, broken and feeling unworthy of anything good. I wanted to have a happier life, and thought that what I was doing was going to get it, man-o-man was I wrong! It was the ONLY time that I gave up in my entire life... I gave up control and screamed for someone else to take over and well... HE did! I made a promise to never lose faith again and I must say that I have only failed to trust completely once since then. I was picked up from my fall VERY quickly when that happened and immediately started that first book. I knew when it was done that THIS was my true calling and that it would be something I would do for the rest of my life. Now... I have made it happen for someone else, I have given them a gift through mine... it's a feeling that I cannot even wrap my brain around, yet I never want this feeling to go away.

In our weakest, darkest moments we lose faith, we shut everyone out so that we don't have to admit failure that we can do it on our own. Guess what? As I sit here 32 years to the day that my beautiful sister Teresa was taken from us, I may be crying... but these are different tears. I am thanking that Big Guy in the sky for giving me peace in taking the very day that made me hate him at one point in my life and turning it into a day that I can celebrate because it now also represents my significant walk back into His loving arms.

If you can only take just ONE THING away from this blog post  please take this...

We all walk aimlessly around at times thinking we can do it all alone. I am here to tell you that when this happens you need something more significant... I encourage you to find what that is for YOU.

Have an amazing day!

xoxo

~Shells~

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Is There Always Tomorrow?

"There is always tomorrow"  is such an odd phrase even though it's something I say all of the time. Being optimistic, I am always thinking ahead of the game, after the rain, beyond the clouds, over the rainbow and living like there IS always tomorrow. However... if we are honest with ourselves, we know that there isn't always tomorrow. Our time in this world is not forever, as much as we like to think it is.

I decided to write this blog tonight because my Facebook feed has been filled with lots of devastating news lately. I micro-control my feed to keep it as positive as I can, however a lot of people I know have lost loved ones and pets, some are dealing with diagnosis', but they are all grieving & dealing with what feels like unbearable pain; pain that is indescribable to someone who has never experienced it. Grief is an unfortunate part of life; we grieve those we lose, we hurt for those around us that are going through it, and we long for one more day and realize how lucky we truly are to get it. 

I know first-hand what happens during grieving after losing my sister when I was a young girl. I watched my whole family fall to pieces and I went through my own stages of grief, and although we all dealt with it differently there is one thing in common between us; it has never gone away. Sure, I could sit here and candy-coat it and say that it goes away, but that's not true and I am as honest as they come. What I CAN tell you is that although it never ends... it does get easier as you travel through the stages one day at a time, and that is how you have to go through it... one day at a time.

My sister passed away 32 years ago this coming August, and I still grieve for her. The stage I am in now is more of a reminiscent one, I remember her for all that she was, wonder who she would be today and smile when I think of her as I wipe tears from my eyes. The tears are both sad ones and happy ones... sad for the moments I miss her and wish I still had a big sister to talk to, to go shopping with and to "just be girls" and the happy ones remembering the moments when she was here and knowing how proud she would be of how I have turned out. 

There are many things you can do to try and take away the pain, a lot of people begin to drink, or take get depression pills to "mask" the pain they are feeling. Both of which will lead you to a downward spiral that leads to nowhere; I know... I became a drunk teen. Then for a long time, I poured my heart out onto paper in a journal; my moments of anger, sadness, worry... moments that I hated everything that had happened TO me because of it. What I did not take the time to do was to appreciate what it did FOR me; that is until just a few years ago. I was raised in a Christian home, attended a Christian school, and lived a Christian life as a child. After the death of my sister, I did not understand... I was taught that God would protect and care for us, so why was this happening? For years I had these thoughts and because I kept them bottled in and told nobody how I was feeling, I formed my own opinion... and that was that God wasn't real. I decided it was all a fairy tale, a make-believe thing like Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny... a lie our parents told us so we would behave and listen. I lived with that belief for years... as an unannounced Atheist. That's so hard to say now that I am in a different place and it actually makes me sad.

Thank GOD... literally that I was dealt a bunch of adversity, a bunch of absolute crap-ola in order to change my mind again. I will admit to you however that I was hit HARD, torn down to the core so that I had nothing left,  I was out-of-gas and luckily my mom was with me at that moment to remind me to ask the "big guy" to change what I was being dealt. I recall mocking and yelling angrily as I fell to my knees... "Okay God... you want to show me you are real? Then take it... just take it, I am done, got nothing left!" Well, I promise you that he showed me how real he was and I was forever changed in less than 24 hours.

Am I perfect? Ummm NO, do you have to be perfect? NO! Do you have to believe that you are not in this game of life alone in order for things to work as they are supposed to? Yep. I am not "preaching" nor do I judge anyone for their beliefs, and I am not shoving ANYTHING down anyone's throat... that's simply not my style. What I AM doing is sharing my story and letting you know that it has changed me. I no longer think about what things in life did TO me, I live by what they did FOR me and THAT my friends is the most amazing feeling and experience of my life thus far. I found my reasons why, and through that I found purpose in life. I also gained compassion, empathy, understanding and am now living the life I always dreamt of living (minus just a few things but I have faith they are coming too!)

I still live like there is always tomorrow... and I encourage you to do the same, but you must also live every day as if it is your last. Although that seems a bit contrary... if you read it more than once and absorb what the message says... you'll get it. And if you don't email me... (shelley@shelleygiard.com)

For all of my friend's who are grieving, who are sad, lost, hopeless and in need of making sense of what you are going through, remember to take it one day at a time. Don't be afraid to ask someone that prays to pray for you if you don't believe... don't be afraid to admit that you want to believe that it's all happening with reason, and trust that it all is. I promise you... as hard as it may seem right now, it HAS a purpose. I hope you are lucky enough to find your "why"... I did, and I wrote a book about it. That in itself helped me, and now, I help others which has made everything worth-while. 

Have a great night! Stay strong and remember... one day at a time.

lots of XOXOXO

~Shells~

www.shelleygiard.com

A Child's Truly Beautiful Letter....

If you read my last blog post, (The Power of New Beginnings), you know that on the morning of my recent book signing in SC for I Need the Happy Ending, my family and I visited my sister Teresa's grave since my book was dedicated to her. On the way to the memorial gardens, my daughter Baleigh was diligently writing something in a small little notebook she carried with her in the car. Every few minutes she would ask me how to spell a word, but I had no idea what it was that she was writing. She is a die-hard journal writer as I have always encouraged her to be, so my assumption was that she was just writing another one of her many journal entries.

As we pulled into the cemetery, she handed me 4 little slips of paper saying that she had written a note to her Aunt Teresa. She knew that I had planned to place 2 pink carnations on her grave and wanted the note to be left for her as well. I was touched so deeply by this gesture, and as I read the note I was moved to tears. Baleigh has never been to a cemetery and has never really experienced death other than the few animals that we have had who have died and the passing of my 94 year old grandmother 3 years ago, so it was truly a beautiful moment that I felt the need to share with you. She may be my arch enemy at times, hating me for having to be "the boss" and slamming doors in my face from time to time when she does not get her way... but this child is amazing. Her heart is as big as the world and she is wise beyond her years; (unless you are talking about Math problems.) You want to know what else? Baleigh is 11 years old; the very same age I was the day I wrote my first diary entry which have now become the beginning words of my book. Pretty cool, I thought.
So.... I managed to find a little golf pencil in the car,  and used it as a stake to stick the note in the ground beside the flowers I left. I can only hope that my sister will somehow get the sweet message ;)

I hope you enjoy this post and share it with others... 

it would make me smile and perhaps it will make others smile too. 

Life is simply too short to not appreciate every breath we have... remember that!

xoxo

~Shells~

 

The Power of New Beginnings

Last week was great. As I headed back to South Carolina for my very first book signing, I was both excited and overwhelmed; in a good way. I looked forward to creating new beginnings in a place I once dreaded coming back to. It was a huge success. Although my initial plan was to start  the tour in my hometown and travel to the cities I lived in chronological order;  everything happens on purpose,  and "our plan" is not always the best plan.

As it works out, I will be close to my home town in April unexpectedly. I was invited and then interviewed to be 1 of only 20 makeup artists in the country to attend an exclusive training event in Provincetown Massachusetts and I am one of the chosen ones! I will now kill two birds with one stone while I am there. Since I wanted to stick to my schedule of starting the book tour in March, I decided to make the kid's Spring Break the week to kick off my tour and begin it in SC instead. Behind every moment that does not turn out as originally planned, there is profound purpose; I know this through experience... but somehow it still amazes me how things just fall into place so perfectly if you don't fight to have it your way.

As many of you already know, my book is dedicated to my sister Teresa who was killed in 1981 by a drunk driver in my hometown of Ware, Massachusetts. What I failed to remember was that she was buried in South Carolina when my parents made the decision that they would eventually move to SC after her passing. As we drove the kids around showing them where I went to school as a child, it dawned on me... what better way to start the day of the signing than to visit my sister's graveside. My whole family was together for the first time in 5 years, it was so appropriate. My children have never been, I had not been in over 22 years, my Mom, dad and younger brother had not been in a few years, and my brother Keith had not been since she died 32 years ago. It was so perfect and gave my morning the start it needed to carry on promoting this book in her memory.

  

The only one missing in this picture is my daughter Abrielle because she was fast asleep.

I could not think of a better way to have started start my tour. God had a firm grip on this one; you don't have to believe it, but I do. His hands are wrapped around me tighter than ever now that I am on the path he had intended for me. He lead me back to exactly where he wanted me to go; where he knew I needed to be, and by doing this I am traveling back in time day by day erasing all the negatives that engulfed my past. He is healing me with his guidance and loving me like nobody else can. My heart is so different than it was several years ago, and I am overwhelmed  and in complete awe of how everything is unfolding.

After getting the news on Friday of last week that I had been chosen to be part of a non profit christian ministry as an inspirational speaker, I was overjoyed, speechless and am so close to my "Happy Ending" that I can  touch it. The opportunity to reach hundreds.. perhaps thousands of people with inspiration and hope during troubled times is a dream come true for me. I knew the day I started typing my story I was on the right rack, I was SURE of it, and at that moment everything negative that had ever happened to me finally made sense and was worth every second.

It is amazing, yes, it is miraculous, but it is something that YOU can experience as well. The day I stopped worrying about how things were going to be, the day that I stopped trying to control the direction my life was taking and simply had 100% faith in the plan that unfolded before me with each decision I  made... my life changed, and so can yours if you believe it will. Mistakes are meant to occur, sinning is part of who we ALL are, but judging others for what they do that we don't agree with is wrong no matter how you look at it. Once you get that and begin to live by it, things will become more positive around you, I promise. Love like no other to live like no other... that is my catch phrase!

It's never too late to change, it's never too late to start over and embrace a new beginning so that your outcome may be different and better. Never stop growing, reflecting, and most of all never stop setting and reaching your goals with every arm stretch.

I want to thank each and every person for coming out to my events last week, it meant the world to me for you to share that very special day with me. I am forever changed once again and look forward to the remainder of my journey in life., I hope you will continue to follow it.

xoxo

~Shells~


This is me with a former classmate who has become one of my huge fans and supporters

This is me with one of my favorite teachers Mr. Hyatt from elementary school who I speak of in my book and the secretary Miss Becky from that same school.
Their smiles greeted my every morning as a child when I really needed a happy face.

I was delirious from the week can you tell?
Taken at the after event

 Old friends are the best! I was so happy to see and celebrate with this gang!

As I was speaking

Although I was tired and windblown I smiled for a picture with a friend and fan