He Says...I Believe; So You Should Too

After a very long week and even longer weekend away on business, I truly felt like going to bed tonight and skip the blog, especially after being on the road all day driving home. However, staying focused on my priorities and being consistent is very important to me. As easy as it is to get  distracted I refused to bail on my priorities tonight since I have committed to writing a blog every Monday. Now here I sit with tired eyes and a hot cup of coffee.

I attended a leadership conference this weekend a few states away with my kids and nanny in tow... it was great. I took so much away from it, so I was expecting to write on something that stuck with me. Yet as I sat to write, I was driven to write about something more spiritual, personal and intimate. I don't know why really, but when I am led from the gut, I know it's God, so I listen and obey. 

My guess is that someone needs this today, so here it goes. (forgive my weary self for any type errors or sentences that may run on.)

I DON'T BELIEVE IT

Not everyone believes they are meant for greatness, that they have the abilities to do anything they set their mind to, nor do they have faith that they can recover after they fall flat on their face. Competing with your own doubtful mind is the most difficult thing to do, especially when trying to recover from a tough blow. When we are hurt, saddened, angered or shaken, we often take a hit to our faith, belief, pride, ego, self esteem and self worth. Nothing seems worse than the situation, the circumstance or the pain we are going through and we fear of ever going through it again.

HOLDING BACK

When we are hurt, we shelter ourselves, we hide and often repel even the good things that come our way fearing that we don't deserve them, that they are artificial, or that they will hurt us and disappear just like things from our past. The problem lies most in the fact that holding back will never push us forward, it will simply keep us where we are or push us even deeper into our hole.

COME OUT WHEREVER YOU ARE

It's time to come out... to peek outside and face the fears that you have within you to experience the goodness that waits. Holes are deep, dark, cold and lonely. God says that He believes in us, that He believes in us so much that me has prepared a life for us, one of greatness, abundance, happiness and peace. Our only job is to seek and find... to trust and obey... to see it and seize it in obedience. Are you hiding in a hole rejecting what God has for you or are you going to come out and gather the gifts He has to give you?

I CAN'T LIE, IT MAY HAPPEN AGAIN

I lost count years ago how many people have hurt me, failed me, rejected me and saddened me... I chose to stop counting so that I could carry on. Quite frankly I'd still be counting if I hadn't made that choice. I discovered that as long as I was keeping score, I stayed in the game. Every time it happened again, it got easier to recover and though I did not know why, I know now it was God's way of building strength for what was coming. I needed more mental toughness, more resilience, more fight for the future hurdles I would face and through these trials that continue, I come closer and closer to Him. I trust more and more in my faith; it's on purpose.

IF I COULD DO IT ALL AGAIN

I think back and can't imagine how many things I would have missed out on if I had stayed in my hole and not taken the next step. Sure, I continue to suffer from hurt, sadness and disappointing times, but I bounce back quicker from the tears each time it occurs. Through the process, I have been humbled as my ego was shattered and flushed away. My heart softened, my bitterness ended and it was all replaced with compassion, peace and hope for all I have ever wanted no matter how out of reach some things still seem. I suppose knowing what I know now, if given the chance to do it all over, I would ask for the same gifts... that is how I truly try to look at things even when I am tearful and confused as to the "why".

HE BELIEVES

What will you do? Will you move on from your pain, hurt,  rejection, anger and resentment and accept a life fulfilled? OR will you stay in your hole, that darkness, that cold and lonely place and die without hope and happiness? God believes IN YOU! He has given you all the talent, all the drive and ambition to be amazing. Through these trials, he has built your strength. Maybe you don't see or feel it maybe you've never revealed it, or maybe you have buried it... but I promise you it's there. I further promise that if you pay attention, He will place the people you need to unleash it directly into your path if you call upon Him. Remember, HE has prepared a life for you. Will you take that step of faith? 

I encourage you to choose life instead of strife and love instead of loneliness. 

Until next time....

PURSUE WHAT YOU HOPE FOR; LEAVE BEHIND WHAT YOU WISH TO FORGET.... 

xoxo

Shells

WWW.THESGIARDGROUP.COM

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The First Step To Being Happy is YOU

For several years, all I wanted was to be happy...I was very broken, felt unloved and extremely unimportant. Part of that feeling came from the lack of ever having a loving relationship and lots of disappointment and the other part came from the fact that like many people, I was fooled into thinking happiness was only defined by having a loving relationship, a fancy house, an expensive car and money to buy all the things I wanted. I would look at people around me who seemed happy and they had loving marriages, were dressed in the best clothes, and had lots of "things". They were taking fabulous family vacations, giving elaborate birthday parties and their Christmas's were like the ones you see on TV commercials with extravagant trees, beautiful decorations and loads of gifts. 

I often felt like a failure with all of this around me, and always wondered why it was not my life. I worked very hard, had so much love to give and yet here I was a single mom who had been divorced twice that struggled to give my kids all of the things that I wanted to give them no matter how many hours I worked because I was doing everything alone for quite some time. We rarely had the money to go on big shopping sprees for back to school like I did when I was younger and I always felt bad for that. We never took a family vacation because I was afraid to take the time off of work. When you are self employed and take time off there is no paycheck waiting for you when you get home so I always allowed that fear to stop me from doing it. Seeing happiness around me made me really sad and I had a hard time being happy for other people who had what I wanted.

Then one day after reading a passage in one of my self improvement books I realized a truth... a fact that changed my life. That fact was that the first step to being happy was loving yourself. I had a self realization moment that very second. My whole life flashed before me and in the end I concluded that I was not happy with who I was at all. I had low self esteem and very little self worth because I allowed things from my past to haunt me. There were decisions I had made that left me feeling unworthy of love and success and because of this I was unconsciously manifesting a life of unhappiness and struggle. I was unknowingly punishing myself for all of my mistakes.

The most amazing moment in all of this was realizing that I was in control of my happiness... that all of the "things" that I thought would bring me the happiness I desired had nothing to do with it at all. That began my path to all that I had ever wanted; a path that I am still traveling Slowly, but surely my attitude began to change. I started learning how to love myself despite all of my mistakes, faults and imperfections and decided that spiritually I was perfect.... a perfect disaster maybe, but I learned to be proud of all that I had done wrong, all that had happened and I started to move on from it all. It was then that I was living in the lowest point of my life and it is also when I decided I would share my story with the world... I wrote my first book.

I began to love who I saw in the mirror and thought that perhaps one day, a special someone would come into my life and appreciate me for who I truly was and what I had gone through in my life. I found happiness in finally knowing and accepting who I was. I no longer hid all the ugly things from my past pretending to be perfect, I became proud of them because it had formed who I was and who I would eventually become. 

Even though I still hope for love and acceptance from someone that I can share my life with, I love and accept myself... and that is the most important thing you can do when looking for happiness. God loves us with all of our imperfections and if He does, so should we. Love yourself like He does and life just gets better.

Something else that happens when you learn to love yourself... you begin to love and accept others for who THEY are... your heart truly changes and when you look at someone, you look at their imperfections and mistakes with admiration, understanding and compassion. When you have accepted your own faults and imperfections you simply begin to judge others less. The most freeing thing was when I stopped caring about what other people thought of me and instead began caring what I thought of me. We will never make everyone else happy, someone will always disagree with our actions, choices and lifestyle but we CAN make ourselves happy; trust me, that is a much easier task. When you realize that happiness is a choice, it's an easy choice to make; it takes no arm twisting. 

So....you have two choices in life. You can get swallowed up with all that is now or you can begin to imagine and glorify all that can be. I ask....which will you choose? 


Have a wonderful Monday... and a wonderful week. Pass this one along, I am sure many people out there need to love themselves a little more, and we ALL need to find happiness.

Until next time...

xoxo

Shells

                                                   

                               

                                                          

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