What You Have Is Enough...

WELL....
It has been two weeks since my last post, and usually, when this happens, it's because I have been busy traveling for work, or simply busy being busy at home. This time, however, my lack of writing was due to a few of life's circumstances that left me feeling like I had nothing truly inspirational to share right now; then I remembered something... I am enough. 

NOBODY IS PERFECT
So often in this world of fake reality and clouded perception, when we are feeling "less than perfect" we sometimes begin to feel we have nothing to offer... nothing worth saying or giving. When you are used to being a blessing, you never want to feel like a burden or even worse, a curse. Strong people tend to just sit quietly alone until the storm is over. This is almost always what I do when I am dealing with not so awesome circumstances. Sometimes, even the closest people to me won't even know what I am dealing with because I tend to recluse.

NEEDING INSPIRATION
Although I was still sharing daily inspiration and encouragement on Face Book, writing a whole blog post was not something I was feeling "inspired" to do; nor motivated to be quite honest. It happens, even to the best of us. However tonight, as I scrolled through the voice recorder on my phone, I found some inspiration. This voice recorder is where I often record bright ideas that pop into my head as I am driving, or as I lay in bed and wake up in the middle of the night to groggily record my voice. I planned to listen to the recordings one by one hoping to find a blog idea that had been thought of that I had failed to bang out yet.

Suddenly, I heard a message that I had recorded for someone and I realized I never sent it. I took the time to record it the moment it entered my mind, but I never had the courage to send it and had completely forgot I even recorded it. I'll admit, I got a bit emotional as I listened to it, kind of how a song on the radio with thwart you back in time, hearing my own voice and remembering how I felt that night sent me right back into the moment I recorded it.

THAT LITTLE VOICE THAT TOLD ME TO KNEW
When I first sat down to blog tonight... I drew a blank,  I had nothing, however I refused to get up from my keyboard until I wrote. Something told me to pick up my phone and this message was the second message I heard; it was exactly what I needed to be reminded of.

WE MAY NOT GET WHAT WE WANT
Telling someone they are enough, is powerful; especially when they are feeling less than adequate. I know, as there have been times when I felt unworthy... like what or who I was, was not enough. In those times, having someone tell me that I was enough would have been salvation. I longed for someone to let me know in those moments that how I was feeling about myself was a big, fat lie. I did not need to hear that I was strong, that I'd make it... or that I could do it because I was tough...or used to it. What I needed was for someone to hold me tight and simply say, "YOU ARE ENOUGH and I accept you and love you for EXACTLY who you are RIGHT NOW." 

MAYBE I SHOULD SEND IT
Unfortunately, some of us have yet to experience a moment like that. For that reason, I have decided that I will send that message tomorrow the person it was intended for... to let them know that they are enough.

JUST WHAT WE NEED
As I listened to this message... I smiled and thought to myself, WOW I have changed so much. The kind of love and acceptance I offer in this message is not only what I have always wanted, but it reminds me of the kind of love and acceptance we are promised from God. It does not matter where we come from, where we have been, the mistakes we have made or the fact that we have failed at things. What matters is that no matter what, we are loved, accepted and told that WE ARE ENOUGH!

What we do not have clarity on now, we should continuously seek. We will be made whole again; maybe for the first time ever. We are always perfect in someones eyes; it's simply perspective.

YOU ARE ENOUGH
What I hope for you tonight is that you will feel you are ENOUGH. Not everyone will recognize it and some will tell you that you aren't. I am here to remind you that YOU ARE! No man is perfect, however, we ARE perfectly made and we ARE destined to win.

Until next time... be faithful

xoxo

Shells

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The First Step To Being Happy is YOU

For several years, all I wanted was to be happy...I was very broken, felt unloved and extremely unimportant. Part of that feeling came from the lack of ever having a loving relationship and lots of disappointment and the other part came from the fact that like many people, I was fooled into thinking happiness was only defined by having a loving relationship, a fancy house, an expensive car and money to buy all the things I wanted. I would look at people around me who seemed happy and they had loving marriages, were dressed in the best clothes, and had lots of "things". They were taking fabulous family vacations, giving elaborate birthday parties and their Christmas's were like the ones you see on TV commercials with extravagant trees, beautiful decorations and loads of gifts. 

I often felt like a failure with all of this around me, and always wondered why it was not my life. I worked very hard, had so much love to give and yet here I was a single mom who had been divorced twice that struggled to give my kids all of the things that I wanted to give them no matter how many hours I worked because I was doing everything alone for quite some time. We rarely had the money to go on big shopping sprees for back to school like I did when I was younger and I always felt bad for that. We never took a family vacation because I was afraid to take the time off of work. When you are self employed and take time off there is no paycheck waiting for you when you get home so I always allowed that fear to stop me from doing it. Seeing happiness around me made me really sad and I had a hard time being happy for other people who had what I wanted.

Then one day after reading a passage in one of my self improvement books I realized a truth... a fact that changed my life. That fact was that the first step to being happy was loving yourself. I had a self realization moment that very second. My whole life flashed before me and in the end I concluded that I was not happy with who I was at all. I had low self esteem and very little self worth because I allowed things from my past to haunt me. There were decisions I had made that left me feeling unworthy of love and success and because of this I was unconsciously manifesting a life of unhappiness and struggle. I was unknowingly punishing myself for all of my mistakes.

The most amazing moment in all of this was realizing that I was in control of my happiness... that all of the "things" that I thought would bring me the happiness I desired had nothing to do with it at all. That began my path to all that I had ever wanted; a path that I am still traveling Slowly, but surely my attitude began to change. I started learning how to love myself despite all of my mistakes, faults and imperfections and decided that spiritually I was perfect.... a perfect disaster maybe, but I learned to be proud of all that I had done wrong, all that had happened and I started to move on from it all. It was then that I was living in the lowest point of my life and it is also when I decided I would share my story with the world... I wrote my first book.

I began to love who I saw in the mirror and thought that perhaps one day, a special someone would come into my life and appreciate me for who I truly was and what I had gone through in my life. I found happiness in finally knowing and accepting who I was. I no longer hid all the ugly things from my past pretending to be perfect, I became proud of them because it had formed who I was and who I would eventually become. 

Even though I still hope for love and acceptance from someone that I can share my life with, I love and accept myself... and that is the most important thing you can do when looking for happiness. God loves us with all of our imperfections and if He does, so should we. Love yourself like He does and life just gets better.

Something else that happens when you learn to love yourself... you begin to love and accept others for who THEY are... your heart truly changes and when you look at someone, you look at their imperfections and mistakes with admiration, understanding and compassion. When you have accepted your own faults and imperfections you simply begin to judge others less. The most freeing thing was when I stopped caring about what other people thought of me and instead began caring what I thought of me. We will never make everyone else happy, someone will always disagree with our actions, choices and lifestyle but we CAN make ourselves happy; trust me, that is a much easier task. When you realize that happiness is a choice, it's an easy choice to make; it takes no arm twisting. 

So....you have two choices in life. You can get swallowed up with all that is now or you can begin to imagine and glorify all that can be. I ask....which will you choose? 


Have a wonderful Monday... and a wonderful week. Pass this one along, I am sure many people out there need to love themselves a little more, and we ALL need to find happiness.

Until next time...

xoxo

Shells

                                                   

                               

                                                          

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Rough Weeks, Hurt Feelings and Just Being You

There are times that life throws curve balls just to get your attention; to keep you on your toes, in check and in line. When things like this happen you simply have to run with it, and keep going. I was on vacation last week in Colorado visiting my daughter and it was great, I miss the snow already. Although there were some moments that ultimately led me to a crossroad, you gotta take the good with the bad and appreciate it all for what it brought to your life.

The week before I left for vacation, my feelings got hurt when I discovered that a job I would normally have been booked for was given to another makeup artist. I typically don't let things like this get under my skin because I am blessed with tons of work; but this particular company had been loyal to me for years and had become part of my family, so I took it a bit personal. When I heard this news, I had a feeling I knew the reason why and just yesterday that hunch became fact. A person who now has the authority to hire the freelance artists has an issue with me. We had a few sit downs last year to discuss things when I first felt friction and to my knowledge at that time, everything was put on the table, sorted and we came to understand each other as people and assumed it had been worked out. I reduced my rates to meet their budget based on the amount of work I was getting which was supposedly one of the problems, and I bent over backwards making myself available at the drop of a hat in order to maintain my relationship with the company. Despite the fact that this person was making it hard for me to be who I had always been when working with them, I did my best to keep communication open since I understand that authority changes can be uncomfortable. I was told  "just be a makeup artist/hairstylist, because that's what you are." I will never forget that day... those belittling words cut me deeply especially when I had always been appreciated by this company for my diversity and willingness to fill more than one slot when needed. I sucked it up and agreed and the next few jobs that is exactly what I did, so when this job was given to someone else I was floored.

There are people that no matter what you do or how hard you try... a reason will be found to discredit you. They will make things up to justify what they feel and lie if they have to just to get their way. No matter how hard I try, I will never understand the glory people get in this behavior. We all have flaws, nobody is perfect; however we all have traits and strengths to be celebrated. Lifting people up is way more credible than knocking them down. WE ALL have awesome inside of us and I feel sorry for those that gain enjoyment putting someone down for who they are, especially when it involves being someone who goes the extra mile; since when is that a bad thing?

If there is one thing I have learned, it is that every moment and every person that crosses your path has purpose no matter how short,  long or uncomfortable their visit may be. I came home from vacation with some tough decisions to make and am trying my best to sort through it all, which I must admit leaves me a little mentally drained tonight. However I figured pouring it all out in this online "diary" of sorts may help me clear my head for tomorrow and perhaps help one of you readers out there.

Be the person who motivates, inspires, lifts others up with sincerity. Be the one that may be considered weird for being different, the one that stands out so that YOU will be recognized and loved for who you are; never compromise who you are when it means being less than you are meant to be.

I have always had issues with certain types of relationships because of my passion, drive and ambitions to be the best at everything that I do... I have been misunderstood in the past but have learned to define myself with clarity. I will always bump into people who feel threatened by that, but  those who know me know how much more I enjoy celebrating others for what they achieve, and my sincerity can be felt not just implied.

If I find myself finding more problems with someone than reasons to celebrate them, I communicate how I am feeling in order to find a solution to that. I know my ailments... this need for perfection and frankly get on my own nerves at times; it's a twisted part of life for me... but it is who I am and there ARE people who love me for that quality.

We all experience rough weeks, hurt feelings and mixed emotions... however we all seek acceptance and appreciation for who we are. Walk beside those that give you the encouragement, and walk beyond those who do not appreciate you as a person. You only get in life what you put out, so never settle for less than you are worth. There are times when you just have to cut ties and appreciate the good a person brought to your life and realize that there are some who have never been appreciated...

Wishing you an amazing weekend... be real, be true and be YOU.

xoxo

Shells

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The Value of NOT Fitting In

I remember years ago how badly I wanted to "fit in,  it was my goal to have everyone like me, to have tons of friends and was willing to do almost anything to gain that acceptance. Unfortunately, for many years I had a hard time. Once I moved away from my home town into a new state, social acceptance from classmates and those around me was not something that I really had, and no matter how hard I tried, popularity never really happened for me. At that time in my life, the feeling of exclusion was devastating; we all want to gain some form of "popularity" in a sense, even when we are older; it's quite normal actually. However after years of being thought of as weird and growing up without always having that acceptance taught me a lot ...all of it was valuable, but the most valuable moment was when I got tired of pretending and just decided to be myself. Always trying to act a certain way in order to cater to the crowd I was around was exhausting and never felt right. I started reading books that helped me gain a true understanding of who I really was and why I was not always accepted. I was never someone who conformed, I had strong opinions and passions and felt the need to be honest and forthcoming about them ; I was a rebel of sorts and this trait often scared people. I have always been assertive and direct but have a heart of gold that many people never saw through my strong outer shell.

Along the way, trying to gain acceptance actually caused me to lose who I really was, and it wasn't until I "found" myself again that I really began to grow. I learned that I wasn't typical, I was not one of the Jones's; I never would be and that there was SO much more to life than fitting in. In fact, my life of NOT fitting in became the one I fell in love with; life truly began when I realized these things. I started to embrace who I was... for me... and it felt right; it felt good, it was natural and less stressful. I no longer worried about what people thought of me and realized that the people who came into my life and stuck were there because of who I really was, not for who I was pretending to be. My friendships from that day on... and even now, are genuine, they are real, everlasting and ironically I have more friends now than I can truly handle. I have shoulders to cry on, hands to hold and ears that will listen when I need them... I am the same for them.

If you can relate to what I have been saying and you are still trying to fit in, if you are still trying to figure out who it is you are supposed to be in order to gain that "honorary social acceptance" I encourage you to stop... find who YOU are again, THAT is who you should be. Get back in touch with the person you are inside, the person that makes YOU tick, and be proud of who that is. I promise you that you will attract the right kind of people.You will develop stronger, more meaningful relationships and your life will be SO much happier. When you LOVE you for YOU and not who people expect or want you to be, life does not stop... it thrives.

Love you all, thanks for reading

xoxo

~Shells~

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