Going After The Happy Ending....

I NEEDED SOME QUIET TIME
Tonight, as I sit here, eager to blog after a much needed break, I am not sure how it will pour out. It's been over a month since I last wrote. My kids and I were moving into a new home, so in the nooks and crannies of being a busy, single career mom, I only gave myself a month to pack up a 2500 sq. ft house...(In hind sight? probably should have given myself more time.)

Needless to say, I was burned out, and feeling a bit overwhelmed in some areas of life, so I decided to take some "quiet" time for myself. Sometimes, in order to find balance, I temporarily remove things from this often overflowing plate. Unfortunately, my blog is one of those things that I don't "HAVE" to do. It's more of what I enjoy doing; that favorite hobby that even though I prefer not to, I can and must put on the back burner once in a while. I  love to inspire you and quite honestly, it's very therapeutic for me to do so. I appreciate you reading and sharing... I want you to know that.

Taking that break was a great idea after all. I am starting to feel alive again, and even in the imperfect moments, I push through. Finding the bright side is truly second nature to me at this point. I have heaved enough hurdles, swallowed enough disappointments and overcome enough obstacles to last a lifetime... (and it actually feels like they have lasted that long.)


NOW THAT THE DUST HAS SETTLED
After getting settled into the new home last week, I was able to attend my new church for the first time, and attended again today. After an INCREDIBLE two weeks of worship and amazing messages, I was moved to get back to writing, (now that I am out of cardboard hell.)

In this season of life, I find that every message I hear gets closer and closer to my heart and know that it is certainly more than coincidence. I feel God himself is speaking to me, telling me what I need to hear like a soft whisper. It is very comforting, and makes me feel so well taken care of as I continue to pray upon a few areas of life that I just can't seem to get right.

DIGGING IN
As I travel down a completely new road of life, I am feeling a spiritual need to dig  further into the depths of my past... my present, and hopes for my future. I felt the need to write down lessons that I have learned, am learning now and ones I feel I still need to learn. I felt it would help me remind myself how far I have come, where I am now and to get more excited about where I hope to go. Perspective is everything, and often even though we are moving forward, it feels instead like we are treading water as we go after something.

STOPPING TO SOAK IT IN 
If we don't stop and breathe for a bit, to reflect and plan ahead, we will end up getting lost in our travels. Tomorrow (August 19th) marks what would have been my oldest sister's 51st birthday if she were still here. It was my first official day back to the grind since the move so I have declared it the first day of the rest of my life in her honor.

I refuse to make the same mistakes anymore, I promise myself to stay true to my values, morals, ethics and goals. I will expect more and stop accepting less than what I am worth. I will choose to limit  my time spent to those who show the desire to spend time with me. Chasing dreams is fun and exciting, chasing people, not so much.

It's amazing what you realize when you are truly honest with yourself... what happens when you sit with pen and paper and write down your mistakes and decisions and how they affected your life. It gives you clarity and helps you realize exactly what NOT to do again and exactly what to do in order to fix it, to change it. Everything good begins with change.

DON'T GIVE UP, TAKE A CHANCE
Are you TRULY happy in all aspects of your life right now? If you are, then job well done, you better cherish that! If not, what can YOU do to change your position? What is it that holds you back? What cycles are you repeating that keep you in a vicious circle of what you don't want? Are you taking chances or staying safe?

For some, taking chances is all they have ever done... (ahem, me) and for others, chances are what they have never taken and wonder why they stand still. Safety nets may catch you when you fall, but the exciting part is being shot out of the canon... the feeling you get while you are flying cannot be described nor duplicated.


MY HAPPY ENDING AWAITS... SO DOES YOURS
The 3 year anniversary of my book releasing on Amazon is October 20th... just a couple of days away. I plan to write a few hours each night until my next book is complete starting that day. I did it once, I can do it again. Focus... dedication and perseverance will get me to that "Happy Ending" that I so desire. The blessing lies in being happy while I go after it.

One day... I will be married to the man God wants me to have, or live happily in the fact of never marrying for the reasons I should have had. I will live the abundant life He promises, I will reach all my goals and LIVE OUT my dreams... because that is what being faithful means; believing that your "Happy Ending" is there even when it's not able to be seen yet.

Are you waiting for yours? Is it right in front of you or in the far far distance? It is up to you to not let it pass you by, pay attention, pursue it, GO AFTER IT and once you have it, NEVER let it go.

Until next time....

PURSUE WHAT YOU HOPE FOR; LEAVE BEHIND WHAT YOU WISH TO FORGET.... 

and  for that ONE special person that I know God is creating for me... 

I can't wait to live this life with you

xoxo

Shells

WWW.THESGIARDGROUP.COM

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How to Measure Success and Failure

How do you measure success? Do you feel successful or do you feel like a complete failure in life?Chances are that you are wrong on both counts if you are most people.

If you measure success only by monetary definition, you will fail to recognize that success can also be measured by the goals that were set and achieved in ones life. Many of the most successful entrepreneurs known today spent years setting and reaching goals, trying something and failing at it over and over again before finally having that moment of victory. Some even died before their fame was even recognized; they literally died trying to succeed at something they loved.

Failure does not mean you lack success, it simply shows that you are learning how NOT to do something. 

Before becoming successful, Thomas Edison tried more than 10,000 times to invent the light bulb.   When asked about his failures, Edison stated  “I know definitively over 9,000 ways that an electric light bulb will not work.”

Colonel Sanders founded KFC “Kentucky Fried Chicken” when he was 56 years old.  His recipe was reportedly rejected over 1,000 times before a restaurant picked it up. He proved that it's never too late to become a success,

I know that I would much rather die trying than to die saying "What if I had tried?"

Henry Ford founded two automotive companies that failed before he was able to gain success with the Ford Motor Company. At his time of death,  Ford’s estimated net worth was $188 billion dollars.

What do you think he celebrated more? His failures or his victory? I would be willing to bet that if he had never failed he would not have been as driven to succeed.

Dr. Seuss's first manuscript was rejected 27 times before it was published, however because he never gave up, he became one of the most recognized children's writers of all time. 

Today, his quotes are searched more that 135,000 times per month according to Google and every person over the age of 4 knows who he is.

There is something inside the heart of an entrepreneur that burns... a desire that never fades, and while everyone around you may laugh or feel that you have something to prove... you know that it's not abut proving anything... it's just how you tick; you could not stop it if you tried. I have failed, I have made huge mistakes in my life, but I continue to keep going because of a desire that I simply cannot explain and often that drive and ambition alienates me from others simply because they don't get me. I am not invited to many cookouts or parties because they probably figure I am "too busy" to come. (Unfortunately, they may even be right) 

We only have one life... we are meant to live it to the fullest. We were not designed for mediocrity, we were designed with PURPOSE. No matter how crazy we may seem to others... no matter how many times we look at our bank balance and wonder if it will ever match our efforts... an entrepreneur will never cave into mediocrity; we would rather struggle to win than struggle to lose. My bank account does not at all match the time I have put in, but I know one day that it will.... or I will simply die with passion in my heart to see how far I can push myself.

Embrace failure for what it is... an opportunity to learn something that you did not know before. Chalk it up and say "Well, I guess that did not work, let me try something different." Success is all about perspective, so keep yours in check if success is what you wish; who cares what everyone else thinks, including the bank that manages your bank account. 

Your ability to succeed lies in your mind, but mostly of all, it lives and bleeds from your heart. 

Until next time...

xoxo

Shells

                                                   

                                                                               

                                                          

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It's About BLOG Time!

WOW! I have lots of catching up to do! It has been 12 days since my last blog! What does that mean? Well... for some it may mean laziness or procrastination, but in my world it simply means that I have been SUPER BUSY and focused on something really important. (Unfortunately, it was more important than this.)
I usually blog even when I am busy, however with deadlines to meet I simply HAD to stay on task. (It's hard to control my mind when it's on fire.) I have been writing, writing writing! My goal is to have the book that I am ghost- writing for a client wrapped up by the end of June (fingers crossed) so that in August, I can start my next book with a hopeful release of early 2014. I am also planning a book party in Tampa for my current published title I Need the Happy Ending sometime towards the end of June if I can SQUEEEZE it in! Lots of busy work, preparation and planning; but that's the way I like it and would be bored if it were any other way. Intertwined in between all of that were three important commercial photo shoots that I had to execute looks for, one was for the awesome five member band, Wild Ginger, one was with the Tampa Bay Bucs players, and the last was a conceptual shoot on domestic violence; all of which are behind me now.

Over the last month and a half, (in my sparse-spare time) I have been reading a book called The Good Among the Great by Donald Van de Mark. It is an EXCELLENT book on the 19 traits of the most admirable, creative, and joyous people. I must admit, my initial attraction to the book was to see how many of the 19 traits I did NOT possess. I am constantly reading and learning on how to become the BEST "me" possible. Although some people find it strange that I do this, it is both fulfilling and rewarding to see how far I can push myself, to get out of my comfort zone in order to become a better person and to have that feeling that I am always evolving. But you know what the BEST part is? It is one of the FEW things that I actually do for MYSELF! (4 kids, a boyfriend, and three parallel careers don't leave much "me" time.)

I am just starting chapter (trait) # 11 and was humbled to find that so far, I possess 9 of the 10 traits covered, and have begun to work on the one out of ten I have not perfected yet. However, I can vividly remember the time in my life when these "traits" did not exist as part of who I was; I have certainly changed for the better. I can pinpoint the events, the moments, and in some cases, the books that led me to the knowledge/lessons I needed to make those changes. Reflecting on these times as I read this book has been pretty awesome.

I would like to share some of my favorite takeaways from the closing of chapter 10, which I just finished reading last night. I find them to be very useful and quite honestly, it was a nice reminder that like I say all of the time... if you love what you do, nothing else really matters... and that if you do something strictly for the "money", you will NEVER be fulfilled.

Here ya go.... I hope you think about these statements and reflect on your own life; think about whether or not you do these things or better yet, what holds you back from doing them.

Takeaways that I wanted to share:

"If you want to be accomplished, and even more, if you want to be joyous regardless of your level of achievement, find what excites you every day. It doesn't have to be the same thing that excited you ten years ago; in fact, it's very likely that your preferred routine will evolve throughout your life; as it should, to reflect your inner self; whoever that self is at any given moment."

"Unfortunately, we're often taught from a young age that the only thing that matters is achieving the goal. It's part of living in competitive market economies. Western and American cultures in particular emphasize the same message: results matter, winning is the most important thing, or even worse, the only thing. From grammar school to graduate school, what matters most are credentials, not the day-to-day joy of living, serving others, or creating." 

 "You must enjoy the process as much as the result to be fulfilled"

"Pay attention to your daydreams, particularly when you drive, shower and walk. These are times of sensory stimulation and thus open paths to non-analytical wisdom."

"Seek and learn to enjoy time alone"

"Don't believe everything you think!"

I must say that this chapter spoke so much to me. I beat myself up for years comparing myself to others. I am in a very competitive field, and being a single mom all of my life, I did not always have the financial ability to go to classes to gain further education. I did NOT go to college, only cosmetology school, and  have taken a "paid" hair workshop only once in my 22 year career. I NEVER had any "formal" makeup training of ANY kind until a month ago, because when I was learning, there wasn't anything available other than books unless you wanted  to work a makeup counter. (No thanks) Guess what? NONE of that stopped me. I read books, practiced on myself and other people and attended  a few free classes to get where I wanted to be. I not only enjoyed the process, I APPRECIATED the process because I built my career on my passions, my LOVE for what I do; in the end... THAT is all I needed. I am proof in the pudding right here. (let's make it chocolate!)

As an adult, I truly enjoy time alone;  that time becomes more precious with each thing that makes it harder to get. I will lock myself in a closet if I have to now in order to get this time to think, to erase the "busy" so I can tap into what I know is best for me. I have also learned over the last several years that "always trying to make the next buck" held me back for SO LONG! I was focused on the money because I HAD to be, I had bills to pay, kids to raise alone (I still do) however, there is much more joy in just DOING what I love. Ironically, focusing on that has presented more jobs, more opportunities and more money in the long run. I am rich... but not monetarily (if I was, I would not be driving around in a car with no A/C for the third year in a row ;in Florida might I add because I refuse to go into debt to get it fixed.)  I am fulfilled, I am happy, I AM RICH with the fruits of life, of loving what I do, how I make people feel, and sharing what I know to help others achieve and overcome. I can hold my head up high knowing  that I am often smarter than I knew, wiser than I should be for my age, but most important of all, resilient enough to keep living the best life I can.

I know that someday I will  have A/C in my car without having to go into debt to get it; 

until then, I will just burn more calories than those with it!! 

I want you to stop comparing yourself to others, be who YOU are and make the best out of that. Enjoy today, take time for you, and wake up tomorrow with an attitude that will help you grow and change in a positive way instead of one that holds you back, gets in the way and makes you feel like you are not as good as everyone else. Appreciate and find love in being unique, special, quirky, just being YOU!

XOXO

~Shells~