Life Is a Whirlwind... Make it an Unforgettable Story

As I sat here tonight thinking of topics to write about, several ideas came to mind. Life seems to be such a big ball of tumbleweed right now and with so many things going on as this new year has begun I am feeling mentally and physically exhausted. Change is in every deck of cards I have in front of me right now and given that I have SO many things that I want to accomplish this year my biggest challenge is trying to lasso my brain into focusing on a plan for each one. That can be the hardest thing for someone who thinks like me... and the start of a new year is ALWAYS the worst... or the best depending how you look at it.

Life is truly a whirlwind of events... some good, some bad and some are even repetitive. I am sure some of you reading this right now are wondering where in the world you will end up, how in the word you got where you are and what to do next. You may find yourself wrapped up in a big ball of uncertainty, a big mess of confusion, fear or maybe even pain. If I am not where you are right now, I have likely been there before and gotten through it, so the first thing to know is that YOU CAN GET THROUGH IT. I have my days... in fact I have had some recently; the days when a good cry is the only thing that makes you feel better. However instead of crying depressing me, crying gives me clarity because when I reach that point I usually pray harder and have more faith because that is when I need it the most. The times when you have nothing left but to say "HELP ME ON THIS" are often the moments in life that you will grow the most from; and having faith is what those moments are all about.

Life is always going to throw curve balls, it will always knock you in the head with a wrench so be prepared both mentally and spiritually so that you can bounce back. I would like to share a quick little story with you, something that happened today that proved once again that my life changes when I think about what I need. Putting it all out there, I had a very tough fourth quarter last year, mainly because I am in the middle of a career shift and have been planning a lot for what is ahead which has created some additional expenses. Needless to say, my pennies are tight and I have had to become more frugal than I already am. These are the growing pains when in business; it's a necessary evil when in growth phase. Luckily, I have been here before so it is familiar, but it is scary when you are your only source of income and have three beautiful kids counting on you to provide. Most people would just go get a job that pays them a set amount every two weeks, but an entrepreneur like me would rather ride the crazy roller coaster train.

I had a rough day yesterday and went to bed thinking to myself "HOW am I going to get through this?" With that, my mind started working and my mouth started praying to just get through this week because I know in the weeks ahead I will have what I need coming in. I woke up this morning still uncertain but tuned into my positive radio station on the way to my office doing all I needed to do to stay uplifted. This afternoon when I got home and checked my mailbox there were two envelopes mixed in with the junk mail one which was unmarked and the other was from a recognizable income stream that typically produces a small residual each month. As I opened the envelopes, I smiled and a tear rolled down my face because both were checks that I was not expecting... and they equaled almost the exact amount that I needed to get me through this week.

The moral of this story? Life is a whirlwind of ups and downs, they will never stop; you just have to keep going. You have to focus on what to do and what you want, not what's happening right now. You have to think about what you need in your life. You have to ASK for the solutions you seek and focus on them instead of the problem. If you focus on the problem, you will manifest more problems... I say this ALL of the time. I went to bed asking for a solution and I woke up focused on finding one... none of what happened as I opened that mail was on accident, it was a reminder during a tough time that I can get through ANYTHING, I was built to survive; I am NOT alone and that all I have to do is ASK to receive. When you walk the right path, not only will you reach your destiny, you will appreciate the journey you have been on so why not make it an unforgettable story?

"There will always be days that get you down, there will always be times when you don't know what direction you will go, there will always be moments when you don't know how someone truly feels about you, how valuable you really are or if your life will ever be what you hope it to be. We cannot predict what will happen, we cannot control how someone else feels, we cannot expect everyone to see how valuable we are and we can't determine what our life will be like in the end.

What we can do is focus on the positive even when it's hard to find, move in the direction we want to go instead of staying where we are, choose to care more about how we feel rather than worrying about what others feel and determine our value by constantly improving, loving who we are and giving value to ourselves even when nobody else will. Life is never perfect, in fact someone else will always have what you hope for; many don't even deserve to have it. The fact is your dream is always someone else's reality... that's why you have to do what you can to make it yours."

Excerpt from
"Going After the Happy Ending"
©2015 Shelley Giard

Until next time...

xoxo

Shells

                                                   

                               

                                                          

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It's Time to Push Through...

Now that Thanksgiving is behind us and you Black Friday shoppers are happy, broke and lucky to be alive, let the Christmas Holiday officially commence! My house sits quiet today since my kids are away at their grandparent's for the weekend and that allows my mind time to think; which in this case is a good thing. My thoughts of the upcoming month and all that will take place leaves me excited, joyous and warm and fuzzy on the inside. My mind quickly wanders to a time when I was always stressed this time of year. A time when I wore myself out working 70-80 hours a week getting my salon clients in... not only to make them look beautiful for the holiday season, but having the need to make as much money as I possibly could in order to pay my bills and still give my kids a suitable Christmas. I actually get a bit teary-eyed remembering how hard that was at times as a single mom, but I always did it because I do what I have to do without complaining or using excuses of why I can't.  Deep down I always felt blessed that there was always one more client that had to get in before I closed my salon doors on Christmas Eve each year that always helped me make Christmas happen. For years I did all my shopping on Christmas Eve as soon as I left the salon. It was hard... but I always did it and got through the holidays by the fur of a Santa hat. I remember my need to be close to family even when they all lived far away, so I would forfeit something each year in order to have the gas money to travel up to ring in the new year with them by my side because being with my family is what always made the holidays meaningful to me. I remember that sacrifice being my electric bill one year, knowing I would come home to an apartment with no power, but that did not stop me. It's funny how that year I had a client booked the day I got back so I told my kids that something was wrong with our power and paid my bill as soon as I finished my client's hair; I was always doing what I had to do in order to get what I wanted while staying ethical and honest, and I still do.

As I sit here today knowing those days are gone for me, at least momentarily, I think of the many people who are in that place right now... maybe you are one of them. Perhaps you lost your job, got demoted, lost a spouse or family member that caused financial devastation in your life, or maybe it's just how life is for you, just like it was for me. I want you to know that there is ALWAYS HOPE, don't ever give up trying to create a better situation than what you have now even if you are just fine, because maybe that will mean you can help someone who is struggling when you have more than enough.  I never thought I would see myself out of the woods, but that did not stop me from running through the trees; THAT perseverance is what ultimately got me out of them. I still have the same mentality though; I still go through stores and load a cart up with stuff only to put half the things back before I get to the register because they are not necessities, simply because I have been wired by hard times and a fluctuating income. I feel that this makes me smart, educated, wise and thankful for all that I have today; I don't look at any of it as unfortunate and neither should you. I will never forget the times when I had to make choices that nobody should have to make... "Groceries or rent?" I simply realize those times are what allow me to appreciate today with my whole heart and that is how you find the positive light in the negative clouds that hover.

If you are struggling... I encourage you to keep pushing through, we are right around the corner from a BRAND NEW year... and who knows, maybe THIS will be YOUR year to shine. I love you all to the moon and back and look forward to sharing this holiday season with all of you!

xoxo 

~Shells~

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Being Thankful For Bad Times Too

I was struggling with how to write my "start of the week" blog last night. One reason being that I still have so much on my brain after speaking last week because it truly changed my life in a positive and profound way. The second reason is that I wanted to write something with a lot of meaning... even though ALL of my blog posts have a lot of meaning, being that this is the last post before Thanksgiving, I wanted it to be extra special; so here I sit digging into my complex brain... a brain that's much deeper than most trying to be sure I don't freak you out with my philosophical nerdy way of thinking. My earphones are on... yes, I am a creature of habitual behavior and when I find my happy zones I tend to make them repetitive... hence the earphones with classical piano as I write. (It's a winner!)

THANKFUL...
What does that word truly mean? Is it simply a momentary internal feeling on the surface of our thoughts for something or someone; a moment in time that gives us "that feeling"? Or is it defined by a feeling that runs deep into our souls that we cannot get over even if we wanted to? Is it defined by an out-loud obvious action that we must demonstrate to show how we feel; or is it something that can be implied by small gestures or things we may do for someone without having to say a word?

In a world where people; (including myself at times) feel unappreciated, I think that this poses something to really think about, and what better time than the very week we are reminded to be thankful. The answer is as complex as any human emotion is as it truly depends on what a person needs to feel thankful and how much it takes for someone or something to feel appreciation from thankfulness. As I sit here typing whatever comes to my mind, I think of the things that help me know people are thankful for the things that I do, for the things that I say, type and share. I think about people in my life who have felt unappreciated by me at some time or another and how I can and have made sure they never feel that way again. I think of how much I have changed in the past several years, how my heart has been reborn and has been opened up to a whole new world now that I have shared the "not so good" times I have had in my life; raw and real and how I have found a way to be thankful for them more than any of the good times in my life... it makes me smile.

I never thought that I would ever be thankful for the bad things that have happened; for all the struggles, pain, hurt, sadness, confusion and disappointment that I have experienced. At times I am shocked that my heart did not grow cold and bitter. I also know that had my heart continued down the lonely, broken path it was once on, that I would not know what being thankful really means. I am now thankful for the hurt, the people that I lost unexpectedly, the hard times, the burdens and disappointments and even the anger that resulted from it all, because it taught me what I need and deserve in order to keep happiness in my life. It helped me not only to recognize, but to appreciate the many blessings that are right in front of my face and accept that the moments that smacked me down were all blessings in disguise presented to teach me what I did not want to relive. I know that if I want to stay true to who I am, I had to learn those lessons and now strive to allow only the blessings to bring out the emotions within me. Everything else just has to roll... I know that every painful, hurtful, confused moment is there for a good reason and I hope you get to that point too.

I hope that all of you have a wonderful day of thanks with your family and friends. I encourage you to sit, if only for a few moments alone and think about all of the things you can be thankful for. Be sure that you dig deep into those bad things that when you are honest with yourself, you can truly say taught you something... hopefully it will be something that will allow you to let go of bottled up anger or pain. We carry around a lot of baggage from our past, we don't always let go of the things that have torn at our flesh, but once we let go and begin to heal, something happens. Sure... I still get disappointed, I still experience pain, sadness, confusion and hurt... but what I have realized is that if I can immediately find a reason to be thankful for what is happening anger never sets in... peace does.

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When Push Comes to Shove... DON'T SHOVE

Have you ever asked yourself, ; "When push comes to shove.... what does this mean anyway?"

Okay so maybe you haven't, but being the person that I am... I have! And as always, asking myself questions like this leads me to valuable lessons which makes me want to share them with you. (perhaps that makes you the lucky one, or maybe makes me the weird one.)

So... what does this phrase mean to me?... well,  it simply states that there will be moments in life when you will want to shove rather than push. What I find interesting (and why I finished the phrase) is that it is open ended... it is used giving you the choice to push or shove. "Well, what's the difference, and why does it matter?" You ask. Here is your answer:

When you shove, you are acting with anger, frustration, aggression; it's an emotional response with a negative tone. Push is a more gentle response, a response that describes strength. Although it can be negative as well,(I pushed him over the edge with my behavior) it is generally a more positive word by nature. It is so easy when  "push comes to shove" moments come into play in our lives to just flip a gasket and SHOVE it all out of the way, to act in anger, aggression, haste, not caring what the repercussions may be. However, this typically solves nothing and leaves a lot of room for regret. It's irrational, and simply not the best way to handle things. I am guilty of this and I am sure you are as well. (Unless you lie to yourself)

We all must remind ourselves to PUSH through, PUSH forward, and to PUSH things aside in order to move on. It's more productive, more positive and more effective in the long run.

Remember this post next time you have a "moment"

When faced with your next 

"When push comes to shove situation" 

NEVER act in anger, stop, think and PUSH through it!

XOXO

~Shells~