As I sit here at my keyboard tonight... so many things are swirling around in my head. My thoughts are a hurricane of mixed emotion all wrapped up in a tiny box, crowding the space in my head. The sensible part of me wants to grab the wheel and take control; to force things to happen the way that I want, need or hope them to be, because that is what I have always done. I have always been the lone survivor. However, the faithful side of me; the side that has grown tremendously says... be still, give up control, do it differently this time and maybe your results will change. I am telling myself to let it rest on the shoulders of my faith and am trying so hard to listen closely to what I am being led to do.
JUST GIVE UP...
We are taught to not give up... and trust me, I will NEVER give up, but as believers we ARE taught to give up... to surrender our worries, our troubles and our lives to God and trust in His faithfulness. Yet walking in the footsteps of faith, although we know that is what we are supposed to do, is the hardest thing to do; especially when we are essentially putting full trust into something we cannot see.. touch or feel. However, when you have lived a life like mine, full of self induced trials and challenges caused by poor decisions, God has a way of showing up in a way that you CAN feel Him... and that does make it easier to trust in times when my faith is tested. When I should be weak, I am finding strength... by diving in and giving up.
WHEN WE CAN'T HE CAN
I have talked a lot lately in my posts about prayer... mainly because I am completely on my knees each day with all that is going on in my life. What's interesting is that I have had a lot of activity on these posts; more than normal actually. What that tells me, is that I need to continue being a voice for God; people are needing it, seeking it, wanting it. My paths have changed and even though I am facing a lot of struggle right now, I know beyond all of it lies a gift... a chance to grow in my faith once again. I have been here before... not the exact circumstance, but in a situation similar enough to see through to the other side. When we can't, He can.
ONCE YOU HAVE IT
Faith that grows is like a vine that never ends... it winds through your heart, into your mind and embraces you like a blanket on a chilly night. You will still get cold, but when you do, you know that all you have to do is wrap yourself tighter and the cold will not penetrate. Once you have faith... once you have experienced what it can truly do in your life, you will never be alone. When you feel alone, you will simply remind yourself that you can trust it, that you need to seek more the more troubled your life becomes. Realize that adversity is a gift... it serves a purpose.
ALL OR NOTHING
When you have nothing, all you have are two choices. Grab the wheel, hug the curves and hope for the best or let go and put it on cruise control... allowing God to set the path. Give it your all or give it nothing. Give Him your all and He will give you nothing... but grace.
AND SO IT IS
On my way to church yesterday, I was looking for clarity, I had been praying about it all week. A few times through tears and confusion. I came off stage after the praise and worship (I am on the worship team) and sat down in my normal front row seat having no idea what the pastor was going to give his message on. As always... God answered my prayer, yet again. He grew my faith even more. He laid peace upon me in one simple passage which I will share at the close of this post. I know the storms will continue beyond doubt, until He has formed me into all that I am to be through Him.
DON'T GIVE UP... BUT GIVE IN
It is so easy to give up... to give up trying, give up fighting, give up dreaming and what we hope for in our lives; it's what most people do. We must NEVER give up because HE doesn't give up on us. We must simply give in... give our worries, fears and uncertainty to the one who will carry us through. We must listen and take the steps we are led to take. We must walk in the footsteps of our faith; that is what will lead us to the life we were meant for. A life filled with love, prosperity, hope and true happiness.
In closing, I will share that passage that meant everything to me yesterday, it gave me the clarity that I was looking for. It was the reminder that I needed to embrace the troubles, to be thankful for them and to know that I am being perfected by Him, through Him and for Him. I hope that you too can find peace in this message, in this post and share it with someone who may need it.
" Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing" James1:2-4
Until next time... be faithful
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