Saturday, July 25, 2015

Answered Prayers....


Single parenting is hard enough, but having to get through the teenage years without a dad around... especially if you are raising a girl, can easily drive you into a place of worry and confusion. In a world that is still a bit double standard and somewhat "for the man", molding  and guiding a daughter into becoming a responsible, successful, independent, wholesome lady who carries herself in a respectful manner is quite a challenge.

In this day and age when sexual impurity is in their faces from television to Instagram and songs are all about girls being objects of good looks and rockin' bodies... the job can feel impossible. Raising a boy, your concerns are isolated to him, however when you have a girl, your concerns include all the boys out there that will use her, abuse her and leave her heartbroken.

My oldest daughter, now 23, went through "that stage" of boy craziness from 12-14, and although we both managed to get through it, so much has changed. As I raise my second teenage daughter I simply cannot keep up with the fast pace of the internet, YouTube and phone apps and all they can corrupt her with.

It is times like this when I am so thankful that God lead me back to my faith through all of my own poor decisions and adversity. I can at least pour into my children the truth of what having a strong faith means, and how it can be used as a guide through the tough times of temptation and inevitable inner struggles they will go through.

About a month ago as we drove home from church one Sunday, my 13 year old daughter Baleigh says to me... "Mom, I don't think I believe in God." Trying not to show it, my heart literally sank, as I remembered my own history and how I stopped believing in God around the same age. My reasons were different than hers but I was still able to relate. Her comment started a conversation and I asked her why she felt this way. Her answer was "Because I can't see Him or feel Him, even though we are supposed to feel Him. I say prayers and they are not answered, so I just don't get it."

I began to tell her my own faith story and how I felt the same way she did and that I chose a path of being a non-believer for a very long time and that I struggled a lot in life. I shared the story of how I was eventually led back to belief in God and that it was through that miraculous moment when "God showed up and showed off" that I finally "felt" He was there for me.

I told her that one day something would occur in her life to give her that same feeling and that I hoped it would not take as long as it did for me. I encouraged her to continue to believe, and to continue to pray; that one day He would show up and let her know He was with her.

Over the past few weeks, I have been reading a book called "The Circle Maker"  which is a spiritual book filled with stories and scripture about "praying through" and the power of praying in circles. I am thoroughly enjoying what I am discovering through reading this book and admit that as I have been using the prayer techniques it teaches over the past several weeks; miraculous things have happened. I have "felt" His presence more than ever before and developed an even stronger feeling of closeness, seeing my prayers being answered so quickly.

This past Thursday, my daughter Baleigh got on a plane to Kansas to visit my brother for a month. Part of the reason we chose to have her visit was because her choices have not been the greatest lately and my concerns have grown. My brother felt that maybe some time with a "father figure" could help. He's that "fun uncle" that also has that reality check authority when it is needed. She listens to and respects him , so we gave it a shot.

For the past two weeks since Baleigh shared that she was not sure God was real, I have been praying for my her in great detail asking God to allow her to "feel" His presence,.. to show her in His way that He was with  her. The night before she left, I prayed again... this time even more specifically and at the end I thanked Him in advance for what He would do to show her He existed as if it had already happened.

On Thursday morning, my oldest daughter Cierra was going to take Baleigh to the airport but did not get a good night's rest, so plans changed and I ended up taking her. We had a few frustrating delays in leaving for the airport and I had to stop at the ATM to get her some cash, but we finally arrived with only an hour before her 6:35 am flight. The line to check baggage was awful, and I was worried we would not get through it in time, when suddenly they asked all people who were on her flight to jump ahead in line. Relief came over me.

We approached the counter and I announced that she was an unaccompanied minor. The ticketing lady handed me paperwork to fill out while she checked her bag in. She then proceeded to say  "That will be $161.00 plus tax" I was shocked... asking why I was having to pay more, she said anyone traveling alone under 15 had to pay for attendant assistance. I had only gone to the airport with my drivers license and my cell phone TOTALLY unprepared for this. I looked at Baleigh and said, I guess you won't be able to go.

As I stood there not knowing what to do, the time was ticking and now we had  only 30 minutes before her flight left and had not even gone through security. I stepped to the side to make a call to my brother to see if he could pay for this over the phone and just as I did, the ticket lady looked at me and said "They are taking care of it." Puzzled, I said "Excuse me?"  She pointed to the people standing at her counter and said " They are paying the fee for you." Shocked, I told my brother never mind and hung up the phone after telling him the people behind me were paying for it.

I was truly blown away; I am the type of person who has done things like this many times... I have purchased food, shoes and clothing for homeless guys standing on the side of the road, reached out to people in need, paid for people's gas, groceries and even tolls, but this was nearly $200.00,  nobody had EVER done something like this for me. I looked at them and said... "All I can say is thank you, I do things like this all of the time... now I know what it feels like to receive such a gift. Please let me repay you, can I have your mailing address?"... to which they said no. The ticket lady was smiling and said I will call the gate and tell them you are on your way.

We rushed towards security, stood in a long line and finally headed towards the gate. Tears began to roll down my face... and Baleigh asked me what was wrong. I shared with her how I had been praying for God to show up and show her He was real for weeks... and that I felt that this moment was just that. She laughed and said, "Really mom?" And I said, sweetheart... yes, and I told her what I had prayed for the night before.

As she boarded the plane I was filled with gratitude, and headed back to my car. As I was driving, I began to thank God for showing up... and asked Him to continue to show her His grace. A few moments later I got a text from Baleigh...

"Mom!!! you are NOT going to believe this!!!! The people that paid for my ticket are sitting in the seats next to me!!! CAN you believe that???"

As another tear and flood of emotion came over me, I typed, "Yes, Baleigh, YES I can! God is with you sweetie, He is real. Don't doubt His existence."

HE WANTS US TO SEEK HIM
I remember a time when I did not believe... God was imaginary to me because so many bad things had happened to me and my family,starting with the death of my sister. I felt that IF there was a God, He would never would have let those things happen. Life has taught me that until we understand that being grateful for ALL He gives us even when we don't understand the pain, grief and suffering or when we feel we deserve more... we may have to hit a dead end, make some bad decisions and go through some pain, so that we will seek Him. If we never knew hard times, we would not need Him.

However only when we need Him does He have the opportunity to show up and show off... no other explanation is believable in those moments; I know, I have lived through several of them now and I feel closer and closer to Him every time it happens.

I am not here to sway you... I am not here to change you.... I simply share what has happened to me in hopes that it inspires you, touches you, and makes you feel less alone.

Matthew 15:28
Then Jesus answered, "Woman, you have great faith! Your request is granted." And her daughter was healed from that very hour.



Until next time... 

xoxo

Shells





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Monday, July 13, 2015

THE POWER OF 1...



YOU wake up every day with an opportunity... an opportunity not only to make your day amazing and interesting, but to make a difference in someone's life, to be a voice in a circumstance, to create a wave of truth in a situation that is unjust.

FOR YOU,  HAVE THE POWER OF 1

So many of you think of your life as ordinary... perhaps even boring, mundane or meaningless;  you don't realize the value you truly have. All you know is that you get up, go to work, grind all day to make someone else rich, sit in a traffic jam on the ride home which stirs up negative emotions that you carry through the threshold of your home. Then even though you are exhausted, you put on your other hat, perhaps as a parent or spouse when you would rather crawl in a corner somewhere with a glass of wine and a book, or a beer and ESPN. You finally go to bed worried about things that are not going right only to wake up and do it all over again... for 4 more days! THIS, is your life. YOU simply EXIST.

You don't think about the small things you can do to change the attitude of your every day, you never really think of how YOU can touch a life, or change the world; perhaps maybe you don't care to change the world... but what if you could make a difference with just one small change, one small thing, gesture, one word you choose to say?

YOU HAVE THE POWER OF 1

What is this power of 1? Well, let me tell you about it. The power of 1 is all about that one little thing, that one moment that you do something different, courageous, extraordinary or perhaps even a little weird that creates a ripple effect that you may not even be able to fully trace. It may sound crazy to think that one small thing can change the day... or perhaps even the lives of many just because YOU made a small choice because ONE THING seems very insignificant, but it's not. I will give you an example.

Think about a room filled with people, someone is up on a stage speaking about something that touches you, that moves you ...something that has made an impact for you but everyone around you is silent.... nobody claps. What do you think would happen if YOU started clapping? I will tell you what would happen... someone else will clap, and someone else, and someone else and soon, the whole room is clapping, smiling, and the person on stage feels amazing and the rest of their time on stage is filled with even more energy because of it. The next time someone else in the room is impacted, they may now have the courage to clap simply because they saw what happened when YOU did. The energy of the room was taken to a new level all because YOU made one small choice to not follow everyone else... but you chose to clap anyway.

THAT IS THE POWER OF 1

I have been told more times than I can count, that I talk too much, that I have too much energy, I am too nice, too bubbly and that my personality can be overwhelming. For years, I was very self conscious of that... I saw it as a flaw and felt that maybe I should change. I actually got FIRED from a salon once because I was too bubbly and it offended the other stylists. They accused me of "stealing" their clients by being too nice to them! I decided that it is who I am and I liked who I was, so instead of changing, I simply discovered how to adjust to the crowd I am in. I can tone it down or turn it up, depending on the situation; (trust me...suppressing this is an art in itself)  

I am the poster child for the power of 1 because I stand up for what I believe in, I speak when I am passionate and I will clap when nobody else claps if  for nothing more than to make that person feel special. WE ALL need to feel special. We ALL need to feel significant to someone and if I can be that person for someone else if only for a moment in time... perhaps it will create a ripple effect and that makes me feel good too.

BE THE CHANGE... BE THE DIFFERENCE

I encourage you to use YOUR power of 1 EVERY day. Change one thing in your routine, say one word to someone that could change the course of their day, do one thing that you would not normally do to make a difference in your life, the life of someone you know, or better yet, a complete stranger. We ALL have the opportunity to be THAT PERSON who is mentioned in conversation that did something nice... to do that "something" that became significant to someone. Knowing that we can have that kind of impact, that butterfly effect is a reason to wake up with a smile every day. Even when you can't change your own circumstances... you may be able to change someone's day in a positive way and when they smile back at you... there's no way to avoid the feeling that happens inside.

Yesterday... I got an email from one of my readers; someone who knows me through someone else, however I have never met this person. I am sharing this excerpt from the email to prove that the power of 1 is real... I get these kinds of emails and messages all of the time simply because I choose to do that one thing, say that one word, type that one blog, or post that one phrase or paragraph on social media. I don't do it for me... no matter what some people have said or may think... I do it because I USE my power of 1 to make someone's day better. I have been given the gift of gab... the talents and courage to say and write things that others won't... to clap when nobody else is clapping. I choose to be significant every day even if it's only to one person... and that person can even be ME.


Dear Shelley,

I want to say so much to you. Your morning inspirational messages mean so much to me. I still get envious of people who have so much, and I'm still struggling. I never would have imagined that I would be so poor at this point if my life. YOU help me to realize how blessed I am, and help me to trust in His plan. I have taught my daughters to give and help others, even when we didn't have much to give. Ok, going on too long here, but thank you for your guidance, inspiration, love and support. It means more than you will ever know.


Have an AMAZING Monday... I hope you use YOUR power of 1 in some way today. It can change your life and may have a ripple effect on the lives of many others.


Until next time... 

xoxo

Shells





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Monday, July 6, 2015

Getting Out of a Mental Block


Today... as I sat and attempted to start writing this blog post I got stuck, yet again. I walked away from the computer for a moment annoyed with myself... saying, "You have been "STUCK" for two weeks now, you have not written since Father's day! WHAT is stopping you, what is causing this mental block?"

I knew that until I answered my own question and ultimately solved this puzzle with a solution I would remain in this frustrating arena of unproductive nothingness. I decided to really dig into what has been going on with me lately segment by segment in order to put my finger on the thoughts that seem to be holding me hostage.

Mental block is typically caused by things and/or emotions lurking in our subconscious mind, which is that wonderfully complex area of our brain to which we have little control over, yet if we figure out how to tap into it, will unlock all of life's possibilities and allow us to understand why we tick as we do. I have spent countless hours reading about this phenomenal part of our brain, becoming more in tune with my own than most people ever will with theirs. It is because of this romantic dance with my brainwaves that I find myself in moments like this doing what I can to tap into myself in order to get over these proverbial obstacles.


I wrote things down...

The first thing I did was get out a sheet of paper and wrote down my "to do" list. I had to empty all the things I have to accomplish that were swirling around in my head after a long holiday weekend. Given the fact that my personality type is one that gets easily overwhelmed after a mental escape or "holiday" from the daily grind, this was a necessary step to take. Having my kids home for summer vacation has left me terribly out of sync with my day to day work. This has created a feeling of being very "behind" even though it's likely not as bad as I am feeling it is. I have really enjoyed spending more time with my kids, but that does not erase that feeling of anxiousness I get not working as much and that feeling can easily overcome the joy I gain from quality time if I am not mindful in my thoughts. Balance can be very hard for the single career mom... more difficult I would have to say than any other person I can think of. Finding balance for me is Mount Everest most of the time.

The second thing I did was write down all of the things that are on my mind... personal, emotional, and business related things that are slowing me up simply because they are taking up space in my head; man... that was a LOOOONG list of things!! I found myself staring at what I wrote down thinking "whoa" no wonder I am running in circles without direction, I am surprised my head has not spontaneously ruptured to be honest. I am often amazed at all the things this head has in it at once and when I do this exercise, I can often shift and regain focus, because realistically that is why I am stuck in the first place.

Finding Clarity in my thoughts

Now that I knew what was taking up room in my head, I needed to shelf some of these things and only deal what I could control and do something about. One by one I created a written temporary solution for each topic on my brain that would allow me to move on while giving myself permission to get back to them at a later date when I could actually have a more permanent solution. This entire exercise worked and once it was done, I sat down and decided to simply share the process I had just gone through in this blog post figuring it may be helpful to someone out there reading.

"What the thinker (conscious mind) thinks, the prover (unconscious mind) proves."
So often, we stay focused on the things that we have no solution for, allowing it to consume us keeping us from dealing with and changing the things we CAN. I encourage you to find a temporary solution for all the things taking up space in your mind that leave you stuck in situations or trapped within your own thoughts. Sometimes that means simply setting it aside until a later date when you can have more clarity or certainty of how to deal with it. Allow yourself to focus on the things you want.... visualize these things like a motion picture in your head. Allow your senses to get involved... sight, touch, smell, sound; immerse yourself in a quiet space to create that movie in your mind. Record yourself talking about what the day will be like when you are where you want to be, how will you celebrate? What kind of day will it be outside; will flowers be blooming,  rain pouring down or soft white snow blanketing the ground?

 "Envision life as you want it in explicit detail and think about that life every day, for it does not matter where you are but where you intend to be that truly matters." Shelley Giard ©2015


Until next time... 

xoxo

Shells





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