Thursday, January 31, 2013

Car Wash Nemesis... A GOOD LAUGH!

Have you ever had a moment that you said... wow, if there had been a video camera taping this... I would DIE! you know, the kind of moment that you truly felt fifty shades of blonde? A Paris Hilton, Gomer Pile, Dumb Jock moment? Yeah... well let me tell you about my car wash experience yesterday...

Let me start by painting the picture: It's a warm but blustery day in Florida, the wind was whirling dirt into clouds and palm trees were leaning towers of Pisa... (first hint it was a bad idea to attempt to wash the car) I drove my dirty little PT Cruiser towards the car wash with all three kids in tow. (second hint)
Now... I have spoiled myself a bit by always taking my car to get detailed by this awesome little car wash/detail shop where these amazing Spanish guys make your car look "pimp" even when it's not. ( I did mention I drive a PT Cruiser right? Yeah, not so pimp.) However, my car was dirty, and desperately needed a bath and I did not want to drive across town to my favorite little place and wait with 3 kids. I also did not want to waste my money in one of those gas station "no touch"/does not do a darn thing car washes as I have in the past only to find that the dirty nature of my car was accentuated by the fact that the stupid "no touch" did not touch random spots of my car. ( I am sure I am not the only one this happens to.)

SO.... I decided head to the "do it yourself" car wash up the road that has the cement bays with sprayer wands and foam brushes to "pretty " up your ride. Although I had never done this before, I figured, how hard can it be? Not to mention I thought that with the cement walls, I would be protected from the wind on this ever so blustery day. I see that is says deposit $2.00 to start. Cool, that's all the cash that I had, perfect! I turn off the car and ask the kids to wait patiently as this won't take long, having strong confidence that it wouldn't. The sprayer starts up and the first step was "wheel pre-soak"  so I started soaking the tires. This step sure is taking a long time, I thought, before realizing that I had to press a button to make it go to the next step... oops! (spoiled by automatic washes perhaps?) Wait? A timer is ticking? 2:47...2:45 Holy crap! I only have a little more than 2 minutes to finish this? *^&;#! Quick! Next step! I push the button to start the scrub brush, oh wait! I have the water wand in my hand and the scrub brush is on the complete other side of the bay, so I drop the wand and it sprays me in the face as the wind is starting to create a vortex in this cement tunnel, shooting water back in my face. At this point the kids are laughing and the windows are starting to fog up.

Scrub brush! GOT IT! I start scrubbing the car bottom to top and manage to make my way around the entire car. YAY! As I scurry across the bay to hit the button that says "high power rinse" I realize I have the stupid scrub brush not the water wand in my hand! ARGH! Time is ticking, I drop the scrub brush (which by the way makes a cement floor VERY slippery) and go for the water wand and BZZZ BZZZ - BZZZ the flippin' timer lets me know that the game is over! I have no more cash, no quarters and there is no option for a debit card, my car is covered with sudsy-dirt soap, what now? Ahhh, there is a bank in the next parking lot. Okay kids, I say, roll the windows down for air I will be RIGHT back!

I walk over to the ATM get out $20 cash and head back to my soapy car, I quickly realize that I have a $20 bill... not one dollar bills or quarters and of course the machine does not give you change. BUT! I saw a change machine near the vending machine. I go to get change and the machine quickly returns $20 in quarters to me. LOL, whatever! I tucked them into my dripping wet shirt and walk back to my car laughing hysterically at myself and this entire fiasco. I get back to the car which now has dried dirt soap on it and looks worse than when I started.

This DARN thing is NOT going to beat me up like this,  I say to myself,  I KNOW this game now! As my competitive blood starts to boil, I quickly deposit $2.00 and make a mad dash... screw the wheel soak, and the pre-soak, I go straight for the water wand and power spray my car. I drop the water wand make a mad dash for the scrub brush almost busting my fanny in the slippery soap. I scrub the car down in record time, drop the brush, grab the wand, hit power rinse with a minute and half to go. I quickly give the car a once over, scrub a few spots that I missed now toting both the water wand AND the brush in my hand like as if carrying two machine guns ready to blow someones brains out. I hit final rinse and give this Cruiser a final shower just before the buzzer sounds!


As I untangled the cords that I had so easily tangled up as I washed my dirty car, I happened to look up and see surveillance cameras and a sign that says 24 hour surveillance. LOVELY! I gave the camera a sarcastic smile, climbed in my clean car and drove away literally exhausted.

In conclusion, I will NEVER... EVER under ANY circumstances attempt this ridiculous type of car washing again as long as I live. Having to run from side to side to switch instruments, then run back to push a button every time I need to change cycles all while a timer is ticking away is flat out RIDONKULOUS!! Regardless of what color hair I have now, I am a natural brunette and smart enough to realize a scam when I see it. ( I make it blonde to give me an excuse for all the other stuff.)

If you can't laugh at yourself, no worries... as I am sure someone else will! All I have to say is that if this ends up on YouTube, I WILL demand royalties!

             YEP... THIS WAS ME! 

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

What if?? Part 2

If you haven't read my previous blog post titled What if?? Part 1, stop now... do not pass go do not collect $200 just go read it or this one will not make sense.

Okay, assuming that you have read it you will know that I shared my favorite contemporary Christian song Blessings by Laura Story. A beautiful song no doubt regardless whether you are a Christian or not. Earlier last week, last Wednesday to be exact, I received a Facebook message from a very good friend of mine. This person, my friend Aniko is an amazing person and a true example of how you must live every day as if it is your last; she knows what that is like because she lives every day not knowing if it is hers. She was born with a terminal disease and has literally endured hundreds of surgeries over the course of her life and she is the same age as me. With each surgery her risk of not making it grow but with two amazing little boys, a husband, and a loving mother by her side she fights to come out of each one.

I remember meeting her several years ago in a "Mom's Club" that I had joined to meet new people in a town I had just moved to. At the time, I was pregnant with my son Zane. Me joining this club was comical in itself and certainly out of my box considering that I was typically "one of the guys". I had never been on a "play date", did not have a jogging stroller and always forgot the necessities when I carried a diaper bag. I was very happy to have gained a few true friends during my short run in this club; Aniko being one of them. Finding out about her illness immediately connected me to her. People with this kind of strength, and with these kinds of stories draw me in because they are OOZING with hope and perseverance.  She inspires me with her will to live, her will to fight and her hope that she is sticking around despite this nasty disease. She has good days and bad and I have seen her on both... and it's powerful to watch.

She tells me in this email that she has a friend who was looking for an inspirational blog and she thought of me. She went on to say that her friend also has a radio show "Hope's Not a Crime" and that she was looking to possibly interview me for it after hearing about my blog and my book. After talking about how she thought of me and how her friend "Shellie" would like to connect with me, she ended the email with "oh by the way, I had surgery Monday and so far all is well. (so nonchalant) I was elated to hear that her surgery went good and happy and flattered that she thought of me.

I contacted her friend the next day via email after looking her up on the Internet and Facebook. I wanted to see what this Hope's Not a Crime was all about. I quickly realized that Aniko and this woman's son shared the same fatal disease and that she runs a Christian ministry through this radio show to inspire people to have hope because having Hope is Not a Crime. She wrote a song called Hope's Not a Crime after being frustrated with doctors' telling her and her son that he needed to plan for his death. This was cool... I wanted to be a part of this! Later on that day I was on my way home from work; mom was at my house with the kids. I had my usual radio station on and the Blessings came on. It was still playing as I pulled in the driveway so I sat there with my car running so the song could finish. I walked in with a huge smile on my face and a tear in my eye. I told my mom about the song and even sang a few notes of it. Later that evening Shellie and I had set up a phone meeting to talk and do my initial interview the next day at noon.

On Friday, as I shopped at Ikea with my mom and my good friend Lara, I got a call from California and Shellie Nichol, singer, songwriter founder of Hope's Not a Crime interviewed me for a possible spot on her show. We chatted it up for roughly 30 minutes and learned that we had a LOT in common; which explained why we also had a common mission to help others find hope in times of adversity. The interview went great and she accepted me for a spot on her show to not only plug my book, but my blog AND my daughter's Down syndrome Awareness You tube channel. I will keep you posted on dates of the airing. During our conversation she asked me a question about what changed me, and after telling her the things that I felt had, I also shared with her that the song Blessings by Laura Story had meant a lot to me in my journey. She chuckled and quickly said... "Laura is one of my friends". WOW! Just WOW!

You see, life is nothing but a road... many of us travel down it without a map hoping to find something worth while and amazing. We are meant for purpose, and we are meant to have meaningful, rich, joy-filled lives. In order to experience that, we must simply realize that we are not traveling alone.

May you find blessings in raindrops and healing through tears....

Saturday, January 26, 2013

What if???? Part 1

Many times I have been asked, "How do you do it Shelley? How do you wake up with a smile and a positive attitude when you have been through so much?" For a long time... that peace, that smile was not always there. I woke up stressed because I felt out of control; and I was. I had no choice but to keep going, I was a single mom with kids that depended on me... so I would tuck my tail between my legs and get through it, but it was not always with a smile, in fact I felt like a victim and I was angry. I carried the weight of a thousand worlds on my shoulders... and it slowed me down. So, what changed me? Before I answer this question I want to preface it by saying this... when you have nothing left in you, the only thing you are left with is hope.

Hope is something that was lost for me, faith had disappeared for many years... but the grace of God forced both back into my life. You see, I did not change me... my experiences changed me and these experiences were presented in my life because I had a purpose and in order to see that purpose, I had to travel through a few storms. We are not promised an easy road, we are promised greater things if we follow a certain path. Many of you may not have the same beliefs as I do... and I am totally okay with that, I don't judge other people for their beliefs... never have, never will. I am just sharing with you what changed me, what allowed me peace and happiness that I never would have felt otherwise, and if you want that, perhaps this story will help you.

Tonight... I will share with you one of my favorite songs. I still remember the first time I heard it. I was driving down the road having a not so good day, I was doubting everything and everyone. I tuned in to my local contemporary Christian station in hopes of hearing something that would lift my spirits.  Within minutes this song came on. I had to pull over as I listened to the words because it was the most powerful song I had ever heard and exactly what I needed to hear at that very moment and a flood of tears overcame me. This song changed me... the words of this song ran through me and erased fear of what I did not know. It gave me an inner peace and helped me understand my purpose in life and soon after this I began writing my book. Now, when I am in my car you can bet that 9 out of 10 times if my radio is on, that station is playing and if for one minute that smile leaves my face, this type of music  always brings it back. I still have not so good days, but remembering the words of this song helps me feel differently about those days. My hope in sharing it is that perhaps it will do the same for you.

I hope you listen and I hope you enjoy... there is more to this story next week. 
Tune in for part 2 on Monday.

This is the song


Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Believing = Achieving! HOW TO DO IT!

Yes... it's cliche' but quite frankly regardless of how sick and tired you are of hearing it... it's kind of like the way they cook fries at McDonald's... the formula WORKS. If you BELIEVE you can do something and take the necessary steps to reach the goal of ACHIEVING it... it WILL eventually happen. I don't care what obstacles you find... (I can say this because I have personally had mountains of them) if you use those obstacles as stepping stones, and look at them as challenges you can get past them. Is it easy to do that? Umm NO! That is why it takes a certain kind of strength to overcome. However, I truly believe that ANYONE can re-program their mind and obtain strength if they stay focused on their goal.

SO>>> how do I do it? Well, here is a recent example:

For those of you who follow me on Facebook, I have been setting and reaching goals over the last week to gain more exposure (via likes) in order to build myself as a motivational/inspirational author. When I started this mission I only had 165 page likes and 16 people were "talking" about the page. On January 17th... I decided to set a goal to reach 1000 likes with 500 people talking about the page by March 31st. Pretty hefty goal but I BELIEVE I can do it. My next move was to create my "PLAN" on how...  I started by creating a Facebook ad and promoting posts on my page. I set my daily promotional budget at $5 and promoted specific posts for $5 each, I then capped my entire spending budget at $100 just so I could see how effective it would be and keep it under control. I made sure to interact with my page frequently by posting progress on my goal and things that I felt people would like and share. (which I do anyway) I set "baby step" goals so that I could get that instant gratification because THAT is what creates momentum. My first "baby step goal was set on Friday the 18th and it was to reach 200 likes by Sunday the 20th!  By building momentum and asking for people to share I exceeded my goal a whole day early! It was exciting to watch, and I gave a signed copy of my book away to like # 200!

I then set a new goal on Sunday at which time I had 234 likes and 104 talking about the page. My new goal was to reach 300 likes with 175 talking about it by Wednesday. I duplicated exactly what I did to reach the first goal (since it worked) and by Tuesday I had exceeded my goal once again a whole day early; 311 likes and 180 talking about it; like # 300 also gets a signed book!


I have always done things this way. Anyone can set a goal, many people have dreams... what it takes to achieve and make things reality is a plan, the willingness to work that plan, dedication and most of all BELIEF that you CAN! I have said it a zillion times and I will say it till the day I die... If you BELIEVE IT you can ACHIEVE it. Why then, is it so hard for some people? There are many reasons, but one thing I found in my own experience is that I set BIG goals and the thought of getting to the finish line was often overwhelming. I needed more resources than I had, more money than I had and more time than I had... and because of that I had a hard time gaining momentum and got discouraged quickly. When I made the decision (probably due to something I read in a success book somewhere) to divide my BIG goal into smaller more attainable goals I began to have success in both personal and professional goals and everything else I did, (including laundry, housework, and all that domestic stuff) 

Being that we are human, and things happen that get in our way, we must be smart in our planning. Think of  your goal as your wedding day... where every little detail has to be perfect or for you guys... think of it as the night you propose to someone... every detail matters and will have everything to do with the way it all turns out. Girls want the "perfect day" and guys want the ego boosting YES" ... it's all relative. To reach a BIG goal... break it down into small goals so that you can build momentum in your feat to achieve. It feels good, it makes you feel powerful and it allows you to believe you can do ANYTHING that you set your mind to... and THAT is how we ALL should be thinking!

 I hope this helps you achieve your goals and make your dreams a reality!
To learn more about how I have dealt with adversity in my life here is the link to my book

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

My First Celebrity Party

This past Friday night I was lucky enough (if that's what you want to call it) to receive an invitation to a celebrity event put on by Derek Jeter and Michael Jordan. I was super excited to go, even though I was not sure what to expect; I figured regardless of what it was like, it was a night out and would probably involve one of my favorite things... dancing. Although I typically don't feel old... that feeling quickly changed as I tried to keep myself awake to attend this party that did not start until 9:30 pm... not to mention I intended on showing up fashionably late. (yawn) I downed a cup of coffee instead of taking a nap as I had originally planned to do, got all dolled up, kissed my sweetie goodbye and headed for the door for a night out with a girl friend.

Now... like I said, I really had no idea what to expect but I guess I did have a few expectations after all and those were, hour- appropriate Hors D’Oeuvres, an open bar for at least a portion of the night and good dance music. It only took one trip to the bar to realize that one out of three expectations were already not going to be met. Oh well, no big deal, I paid the $7.50 plus a $1.50 tip for my less than stellar drink and began to mingle with some people I was being introduced to by the guy who gave us the invite. (thanks again for the invite if you are reading) As I hoped for better music, I danced in place to the techno beat that was thumping my eardrums making me feel like I should be splashed in florescent paint and twirling glow sticks. 4 go-go dancers tabletop danced in short shorts and bra tops while two other girls entangled and twirled themselves in silky fabric that hung from the ceiling. It was very interesting choice of entertainment, especially considering that there were about 10 girls to each guy in the room.

My friend and I began to make our way through the crowd of bad hair extensions, false eyelashes, stilettos and super short dresses. It was truly comical watching these young girls and women of all ages attempt to walk in the sexy shoes they had so carefully picked out... I suppose they figured that "sexy" is about the shoes and the short dress not the fact of whether or not you could actually WALK in the shoes while simultaneously tugging at the back of your dress so your butt did not pop out. YES... that was TOTALLY sexy. My girlfriend and I also wore cute little cocktail dresses and sexy shoes but we could walk in them and since our dresses actually fit us, they stayed right where they belonged...relieving us of the horribly unsexy tugging. ( Seriously the equivalent of digging your panties out of your butt)

 I finally spotted Derek Jeter, even though I was looking for Michael Jordan; (who might I add did not actually make an appearance while I was there) so we headed in the direction of his pretty smile and realized that we had "ROCKSTAR" bands... not the fancy black VIP bands, so getting into "his area" was going to take a cute smile at someone holding the black VIP bands. (Mission accomplished) Now that we were in VIP section I figured free drinks.. WRONG again. Bottle service (just in case you don't know that means you have to drop $200-$500 for a bottle in order to sit down) But there were Hors D’Oeuvres. I must say that this section was much more interesting as these were where the good hair extensions were. (haha) It was going on 1:00 am and since the music never improved me and my friend decided we would squeeze our way over to Jeter, introduce ourselves, shake his hand say thanks for the party and head home to our families.

To wrap this all up into a big finale I will say this:

Of all the years I have contemplated getting a boob job, I have decided to stay a member of the itty-bitty club for now. I saw enough fake hair, fake lashes, fake lips and fake boobs that night to last me a lifetime. (I have never seen a good set of fake lips... ever.) I don't think I want to be in "that club"  if I can't join it as I am... REAL. I realized that money will never define me no matter how much I end up with, I will always have an open bar at my parties if I become a celebrity, and will ALWAYS have good music playing so that people can dance and have a good time. I will age gracefully and embrace every flaw because I am more concerned about who I am on the inside. There was more low self-esteem and competition in that room than anywhere I had ever been. Was I happy to attend? Sure! It was an experience to remember and certainly one to learn from. I drove home happy... happy that I had someone waiting for me, that I have a beautiful family and realized once again that I have changed VERY much and it's all for the better!

Have a great night!

Thursday, January 17, 2013

The Ripple Effect

As wind runs across the water of an ocean, the vibration starts a wave. As the wave rolls in towards the ultimate destination... the shore, it gains momentum as more water joins it's push towards the finish line. It gets stronger, bigger, faster and more excitement builds as it comes in. We watch in amazement at this  natural wonder, now several feet high and realize it's all because of the momentum that was built as it headed for it's goal. As the wave hits the shore it rolls over in victory and crashes into a white abyss and the water rests on the sand and rocks like tears on the face of victory; job well done.

This is a ripple effect and it takes place in every day life as well. Everything starts with one person and can exist with only one person. However when we join hands and head for a common goal, a destination, we help one another, support one another, and instead of competing we gain the momentum to reach our goals faster, stronger, and bigger. Many things in today's world are based on competition. We constantly compare ourselves to other people, giving ourselves a complex and low self esteem. We want to "one up" our friends, neighbors and people we don't even associate with to prove what? That we can do it better alone?

I know that I am much better with the support of a team, a cheering squad, a community of people all working together to accomplish something amazing, something big, something only dreams are made of. I like powerful, meaningful, emotional, experiences and although I can do and have done a lot on my own, I have always been stronger with support and gain more momentum that way. It took me a long time to realize that doing it alone does not make you better, it does not make you a hero, it does not make you victorious... it only makes it harder and in the end you are still alone.

Have you ever listened to a radio station that is raising money or perhaps watched a telethon? What about a popular Facebook post? Don't you get you excited when you hear the phones ringing off the hook or see tons of likes on a post? Doesn't it make you want to be a part when you hear "Sandy just donated $100, thank you Sandy for your generous donation." or how seeing 35 likes makes you want to be #36? All of a sudden there are 5 more likes, 5 more rings, five more donations... some are smaller, some are bigger but it is all for one reason, one purpose. Every person counts because every person makes it one step closer to the goal; every ring, every like, every comment makes more people react. This is ripple effect... it's effective, it's powerful and it is truly amazing.

I am a nerd... have said it many many times. I watch stats like a spider watches a fly and right now... a ripple effect is happening for me and that ripple effect is creating momentum, and momentum is exactly what I need to get my story out there, to share with the masses that you CAN overcome adversity, you CAN win, you CAN change your attitude which WILL in turn change your altitude. Tonight, I encourage you to stop and think the next time you want to accomplish something; see if you could do something to create a ripple effect. Get people around you excited, build momentum in whatever it is you do, even if you have to do it with yourself as I did for many years (it's kind of like creating your own colony of imaginary friends) THIS is how you reach goals, it is how you overcome, it is how you achieve what you believe. TRUST me on this!


Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Milestones... Something to Make You Smile

"The most amazing things happen when you least expect them to. The unfortunate part is we often don't even recognize them because we are caught up in the things that are not so amazing. Keeping a positive attitude regardless of what is happening will help you realize all the gifts you are given every day. 
Don't let the clouds take away your sunshine!" 
Shelley Giard

There used to be days that I had to force myself to smile. I often woke up exhausted from the lack of sleep having too many things on my mind. I stayed stressed no matter how big or little my problems actually were. I was engulfed in a world that consumed me every day and although I tried very hard to keep a positive attitude, it was often very hard to see past the rain that was pounding on my life. I was overwhelmed, overworked and ends still never seemed to meet as I was trying to give my children the life of  typical children that had two working parents would have, on one unpredictable, self-employed income. I sweated the small stuff, the big stuff and even gave the medium stuff a ride on my back.

Just when I thought I was at the end of my rope, I was given a gift... although initially I did not know it was a gift because it felt more like a curse. I was pregnant... with my fourth unexpected child as I was plotting a divorce from my ex husband. Mentally, I rejected the pregnancy and did not attach myself emotionally at all until that fate-filled day. You see, I had been praying... a lot, and did not understand why I was being led down this path but I knew in my heart there was a plan; I was right. I was so weak emotionally that I had no choice but to allow my faith and beliefs to take over. That was one of the good choices I had made.

Month 5, week 20, I was told my daughter would be born with Down syndrome... and I knew without a doubt that this was my gift. I had always heard about this "gift" but I never understood the magnitude until Abrielle was actually here. There is SO much more I could add here... some of which is in the book I just wrote, ( much of it will be shared in a future book I will write. However, today... I will simply share this...

My daughter Abrielle is 3, and today she reached yet another milestone, one that makes her more typical at a very young age in her world because I believe she can do anything a typical child can do... it just takes more time. I have seen it, I have helped her, and I have been amazed at her determination. I treat her no different because in the grand scheme of things... she is just like us only better. Her love has changed me more than I ever thought possible, and it changes the people around her. Her smiles melt butter and they happen so frequently, yet I will never take them for granted. I was blessed with exactly what I needed... a reason to smile everyday and something that would make me smile on the days when I woke up stressed and tired feeling like I had nothing left.

My little munchkin rode the bus home from school for the first time today. Although I still take her in the mornings because we have so much fun singing and dancing to Mandisa, I felt it would be good to let her spread her independent wings and be like many other school children and ride the bus. They have a special seat harness to protect her small little frame but she feels like a big girl now and I saw it as she got off the bus today. As I stood there taking pictures of this moment in her amazing life, she smiled... and waved and a tear rolled down my face. It was one of those moments that I want to pause because my special little baby girl is becoming exactly what I knew she could be, a typical child. The only difference is, she takes her time learning, absorbing and appreciating everything around her; the stuff we take for granted ever single day.

There is no stress on that cute little face and very little sadness overcomes her. She is filled with a whole lot of smiles, sweet little kisses and hugs that will last forever. The plan was a good one... although I questioned it at times, when all I had left was faith and belief the greatest gift of all was given to me in a 4lb. 6oz. package. Born a month early on October 16th; October is Down syndrome awareness month. Coincidence? I think not. That too had purpose.

As I close this post tonight, I challenge you to stop complaining. Take your time absorbing the world around you, learn at a slower pace so that you will realize your full potential. Don't sweat the small stuff, the big stuff or the medium stuff. Have faith that it's all part of your plan and know that it is up to you to realize the gifts you are given; your job beyond the realization is to put those gifts to use, let them become your passion. Doing this will help you as it has helped me find what these "special people" have that we often seek our entire lives; happiness that comes with just being.


She arrives... I am so happy that the "short bus" joke no longer applies

The bus aide delivers my cute little package

Someone fell asleep on the ride home because they did not nap at school 

But being tired did not stop her from waving goodbye to her friends 


Monday, January 14, 2013

Golden Globes 2013

I had a great time watching the Golden Globes last night, I always do, and luckily... Corey is a movie buff  too so it's something we watch together! Not only do I love movies, but I am all about the makeup, hair and wardrobe because of what I do for a living. Here are my "nerd notes" from last night.

Kate Hudson: Her black dress complete with plunge neckline and golden "bling" halter... A-MA-ZING. Kudos to designer Alexander McQueen! I have always LOVED Kate, she is classy, natural and amazingly beautiful. #justlikehermom

J-Lo: Beautiful dress which had to be made especially for her or her spray tan lady is spot on. Knuckle bump to the designer Zuhair Murad. The flesh toned fabric matched her skin tone perfectly. Another beautiful woman no doubt, but I bet she sneered when Ben took the cake and ate it too Gotta see Argo!
Jennifer Garner deserves him! <3 nbsp="nbsp">

Adele: We all know her voice is mesmerizing but who knew that she was laid back and down to earth? Her reaction was so genuine and cute. Not only did she make me laugh by saying she and her friend were "pissing themselves" laughing, she totally dropped the f" bomb when they called her name as the winner. Great camera work guys! HAHA! Love her even more now! People from the UK rock!

Speaking of great camera work, Mel Gibson... poor guy! Every time the camera men panned to him he had this blank stare and hos mouth was dropped open as if he had no control over his chin... I honestly was afraid they'd catch him drooling on camera. What has happened to one of my favorite men in Hollywood? :( #manwithoutaface,  #blankstare

Will Farrell and Kristen Wiig: One word: HYSTERICAL!

Jessica Alba's necklace needs to be in my collection, just sayin' it's only 5.8million, no problem! HA! #Iamsuchanaccesssorywhore

Jennifer Lawrence needed a necklace. Too much bare space! However it seemed to be the trend of the night for many. Strongly disagree! Nothing compliments a long beautiful neck and or amazing cleavage more than a beautiful necklace. Especially when you have on a plain solid strapless dress. Be it simple, delicate or over the top necklace, It's a must have. #myopinion

Lucy Lui : That dress... does your wardrobe stylist hate you or is your taste that awful? #epicfail

Jodi Foster is amazing, have loved her for a long time. Brilliant actress, beautiful woman with piercing eyes and truly an icon in the industry. Her speech was beautiful, I was honestly brought to tears, and that's good because it's the only thing that saved her from the annoying nervous tick tapping that podium throughout the entire speech! #comingout

And last but certainly not least... Tina and Amy had me laughing all night. From the fake nominations to the funny teeth to the mustache... it's proof that laughter is the very best medicine!

My favorite Golden Globes so far!

HAPPY MONDAY! Laugh a lot today! <3 nbsp="nbsp">
xoxo Shells~

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

AHA Moment! DUH!

Have you ever had one of those moments when you are talking to someone about something in a casual conversation and suddenly have a moment of self discovery? (also called an epiphany or Aha! moment) I must
admit this happens to me often, so if that has never happened to you, just humor me and pretend it has so that I don't feel like I am more unusual than I know I already am. This happened to me yesterday as I was talking with one of my clients about something that happened to me recently. It had to do with me saying something to somebody that had the opposite effect than what I had intended. When you are dealing with sensitive subjects, you don't always know how to say what you want to say and not sure how what you say will truly effect the person you are speaking to. As much as you THINK you know someone, there may be something that you don't know and that very "thing" could easily have bearing on how they take what you are about to say.

I admit it, I am pretty blunt, brutally honest at best (if you read my blog, you already know this about me) and although I possess more couth than I used to, sometimes I still screw up royally and insert my entire leg into mouth. It's a blessing and a curse all in the same breath; blessing because you can be certain I will always give you the truth of the matter at hand, (the only thing I candy coat is cookies at Christmas)  but a curse because I hurt people's feelings from time to time. (And I HATE doing that!) 

So... as I am telling this story to my client I realized something VERY interesting. I am motivated by someone telling me "I am not" a certain way or that "I can't" do something. In other words, if someone tells me I can't relax (they are right) I will go so far as to searching Google on "how to relax more" simply because I know I suck at it and that it is imperative for good health. I don't get defensive and start explaining how I can... because I know I have a hard time doing it. On the other hand, if someone feels I need to do something or be a certain way and they were to approach it by saying... "in order to relax, you should do this... or not do that... I would probably get defensive inside feeling like they have insulted my intelligence... it would COMPLETELY demotivate me as I roll my eyes and walk away. I went even further to realize that the typical entrepreneurial minded person (I came out of the womb creating a business plan) don't like to be "told" what to do, but love to be told they CAN'T do something. (insert fire under a**)

The epiphany I had was that as I was telling my client this story of how I hurt someones feelings unintentionally by telling them they were not a certain way thinking that would make them want to learn how to gain that quality, I demotivated them altogether because what motivates me does NOT motivate them. AHA! Hello McFly, pay more attention and perhaps ASK someone how they are motivated if you are trying to motivate them. DUH!

Learning how to ask people what motivates them or how they become motivated into doing something could seriously change how you approach things in both personal and business relationships. I suppose some need that step by step paint by number approach and then there's those of us ( like me, the rebel) who just need a swift kick in the a** or someone to tell us we "can't".


That is my wisdom via Aha moment today. I hope it helps you in your everyday life. I certainly know that this moment of self discovery will change how I approach MANY things! Perhaps finding out what motivates my kids more will help me to get my children to clean their rooms without having a mental breakdown!! WOW this is pretty exciting!

Peace, love and lots of xoxo's

This is SOOOO me!

Sunday, January 6, 2013

Porn = Sabotage in a Relationship

True love = lasting relationship.

My guess is, if you clicked on this link to read this blog post, you are one of three people... 1) an avid reader/fan of my blog who reads every post regardless of the topic, 2) a person that has dealt with, therefore understands the truth to my blog title, 3) a person who looks at porn while in a relationship wondering if you are sabotaging your relationship or perhaps you already have. No matter which of those three you are, you should  keep reading, knowledge is power and can often save your life, business, marriage or relationship.

The use of pornography has become an epidemic, worse now than ever because of the availability and quantity of it on the internet. It has literally become "the thing guys do" and is quickly becoming what some girls do as well. It is a serious issue with serious negative effects on two people in love and single people hoping to find it. I talk to a lot of people and am good friends with a lot of guys. I have had talks with both men and women about pornography and its effects within a relationship and also the effects it has on single people hoping to be in one. Several things have poured out during these talks, such as, "I use it to spice things up and get ideas", "It helps our sex life when we watch it together", "I am alone, I have needs and desires so it is how I fulfill them" and the flip-side: "It has ruined my feelings for him/her" or "It makes me feel like I don't turn him/her on anymore" and "I don't think I will ever find someone who satisfies me". There are several takes on it, but whatever the stance... the people I have spoken to are steadfast on their opinion of what porn is and how it plays a role in their lives. The sad thing is that 9 out of 10 people have or have had it in their lives which solidifies the fact that it is becoming a staple in today's world.

I know firsthand what it can do... because I have been involved with men whose porn habits ruined what we had. No, I am not ashamed to say it... perhaps a bit embarrassed, but it's not the first time I have been embarrassed and it certainly won't be the last; if me sharing my embarrassing past may somehow help your future, then I am in this full throttle, and I will live through the embarrassment of sharing.  Now, if you are planning to dive into this one with me, realize that this is not simply my opinion, it is proven scientifically as well as in a biblical sense. I cannot put all of what I have to say in one post, it would go way beyond the average attention span. That is why I am choosing to send you to a link instead so that you may learn at your leisure. I want you to digest EVERY word of this in order to gain the message that I have for you. I truly believe I could write a book on this topic because of how strongly I feel about the negative effects of it... perhaps I will one day, who knows. (add that to bucket my list) 

There is nothing more beautiful than a man and woman in love... (well, babies are pretty beautiful too but it takes two people in love to create that in it's most beautiful way.)You have seen it, I have seen it, and some of us have felt it. There is something to be said about knowing you have found "THE ONE", the man or woman of your dreams, the one who finishes your sentences, completes your thoughts, knows just by your face what is bothering you and is there for you through every emotional roller coaster you step onto. It is awesome and it's what most people long to have one day, however for many men, this desire can be ruined long before they ever meet that special girl. Now... since I am not a scientist, specialist or expert on this topic, I am going to share a link with you at the bottom of this post; don't worry, it's not a trick to get you to click onto a pornography site, but it IS going to make you think differently about pornography itself. My message is that when you love someone, you respect them, you cherish them, and you desire them and ONLY them. If you are not able to do all of these things then you are not ready to love with all your might in the way that it was meant to be, so do your partner a favor and walk away or change.

Perhaps you have sons... perhaps you have daughters, and they have internet. Guard that usage with your life!! Do NOT cut them loose in a world full of corrupt things that will cloud their minds and damage their self image. Protect them, guide them and teach them what it means to be in a REAL loving relationship, and if you don't know what that is, then gain the knowledge so that you can. It took me a long time to understand what I deserved because I was mistreated over and over making me believe that is all I was worth. I thank God that I was changed and my heart knows now what to accept and what not to accept. Now... I will tell you that the link below is a link to a Christian website, it will teach you a great deal about true love and sex and the meaning of it all in the way it was meant to be. It made a lot of sense to me when I saw it and it allowed me to reflect on past relationships as well as my current one and know what I have done or am doing wrong. If you are not a faithful person, do not be afraid to click on this link, I am not trying to sway you, trick you or make you believe what I believe, however... you WILL be able to pull great knowledge from it regardless of your faith stance, I promise.

Have a great night... I know this is a strange topic, but sometimes someone has to just suck it up and say it and well, that is just the kind of girl I am. I am determined to help make this world a better place one blog post at a time!