Sunday, January 6, 2013

Porn = Sabotage in a Relationship

True love = lasting relationship.

My guess is, if you clicked on this link to read this blog post, you are one of three people... 1) an avid reader/fan of my blog who reads every post regardless of the topic, 2) a person that has dealt with, therefore understands the truth to my blog title, 3) a person who looks at porn while in a relationship wondering if you are sabotaging your relationship or perhaps you already have. No matter which of those three you are, you should  keep reading, knowledge is power and can often save your life, business, marriage or relationship.

The use of pornography has become an epidemic, worse now than ever because of the availability and quantity of it on the internet. It has literally become "the thing guys do" and is quickly becoming what some girls do as well. It is a serious issue with serious negative effects on two people in love and single people hoping to find it. I talk to a lot of people and am good friends with a lot of guys. I have had talks with both men and women about pornography and its effects within a relationship and also the effects it has on single people hoping to be in one. Several things have poured out during these talks, such as, "I use it to spice things up and get ideas", "It helps our sex life when we watch it together", "I am alone, I have needs and desires so it is how I fulfill them" and the flip-side: "It has ruined my feelings for him/her" or "It makes me feel like I don't turn him/her on anymore" and "I don't think I will ever find someone who satisfies me". There are several takes on it, but whatever the stance... the people I have spoken to are steadfast on their opinion of what porn is and how it plays a role in their lives. The sad thing is that 9 out of 10 people have or have had it in their lives which solidifies the fact that it is becoming a staple in today's world.

I know firsthand what it can do... because I have been involved with men whose porn habits ruined what we had. No, I am not ashamed to say it... perhaps a bit embarrassed, but it's not the first time I have been embarrassed and it certainly won't be the last; if me sharing my embarrassing past may somehow help your future, then I am in this full throttle, and I will live through the embarrassment of sharing.  Now, if you are planning to dive into this one with me, realize that this is not simply my opinion, it is proven scientifically as well as in a biblical sense. I cannot put all of what I have to say in one post, it would go way beyond the average attention span. That is why I am choosing to send you to a link instead so that you may learn at your leisure. I want you to digest EVERY word of this in order to gain the message that I have for you. I truly believe I could write a book on this topic because of how strongly I feel about the negative effects of it... perhaps I will one day, who knows. (add that to bucket my list) 

There is nothing more beautiful than a man and woman in love... (well, babies are pretty beautiful too but it takes two people in love to create that in it's most beautiful way.)You have seen it, I have seen it, and some of us have felt it. There is something to be said about knowing you have found "THE ONE", the man or woman of your dreams, the one who finishes your sentences, completes your thoughts, knows just by your face what is bothering you and is there for you through every emotional roller coaster you step onto. It is awesome and it's what most people long to have one day, however for many men, this desire can be ruined long before they ever meet that special girl. Now... since I am not a scientist, specialist or expert on this topic, I am going to share a link with you at the bottom of this post; don't worry, it's not a trick to get you to click onto a pornography site, but it IS going to make you think differently about pornography itself. My message is that when you love someone, you respect them, you cherish them, and you desire them and ONLY them. If you are not able to do all of these things then you are not ready to love with all your might in the way that it was meant to be, so do your partner a favor and walk away or change.

Perhaps you have sons... perhaps you have daughters, and they have internet. Guard that usage with your life!! Do NOT cut them loose in a world full of corrupt things that will cloud their minds and damage their self image. Protect them, guide them and teach them what it means to be in a REAL loving relationship, and if you don't know what that is, then gain the knowledge so that you can. It took me a long time to understand what I deserved because I was mistreated over and over making me believe that is all I was worth. I thank God that I was changed and my heart knows now what to accept and what not to accept. Now... I will tell you that the link below is a link to a Christian website, it will teach you a great deal about true love and sex and the meaning of it all in the way it was meant to be. It made a lot of sense to me when I saw it and it allowed me to reflect on past relationships as well as my current one and know what I have done or am doing wrong. If you are not a faithful person, do not be afraid to click on this link, I am not trying to sway you, trick you or make you believe what I believe, however... you WILL be able to pull great knowledge from it regardless of your faith stance, I promise.

Have a great night... I know this is a strange topic, but sometimes someone has to just suck it up and say it and well, that is just the kind of girl I am. I am determined to help make this world a better place one blog post at a time!

xoxo
~Shells~