Monday, March 23, 2015

How to Measure Success and Failure



How do you measure success? Do you feel successful or do you feel like a complete failure in life?Chances are that you are wrong on both counts if you are most people.

If you measure success only by monetary definition, you will fail to recognize that success can also be measured by the goals that were set and achieved in ones life. Many of the most successful entrepreneurs known today spent years setting and reaching goals, trying something and failing at it over and over again before finally having that moment of victory. Some even died before their fame was even recognized; they literally died trying to succeed at something they loved.

Failure does not mean you lack success, it simply shows that you are learning how NOT to do something. 

Before becoming successful, Thomas Edison tried more than 10,000 times to invent the light bulb.   When asked about his failures, Edison stated  “I know definitively over 9,000 ways that an electric light bulb will not work.”

Colonel Sanders founded KFC “Kentucky Fried Chicken” when he was 56 years old.  His recipe was reportedly rejected over 1,000 times before a restaurant picked it up. He proved that it's never too late to become a success,

I know that I would much rather die trying than to die saying "What if I had tried?"

Henry Ford founded two automotive companies that failed before he was able to gain success with the Ford Motor Company. At his time of death,  Ford’s estimated net worth was $188 billion dollars.
What do you think he celebrated more? His failures or his victory? I would be willing to bet that if he had never failed he would not have been as driven to succeed.
Dr. Seuss's first manuscript was rejected 27 times before it was published, however because he never gave up, he became one of the most recognized children's writers of all time. 
Today, his quotes are searched more that 135,000 times per month according to Google and every person over the age of 4 knows who he is.
There is something inside the heart of an entrepreneur that burns... a desire that never fades, and while everyone around you may laugh or feel that you have something to prove... you know that it's not abut proving anything... it's just how you tick; you could not stop it if you tried. I have failed, I have made huge mistakes in my life, but I continue to keep going because of a desire that I simply cannot explain and often that drive and ambition alienates me from others simply because they don't get me. I am not invited to many cookouts or parties because they probably figure I am "too busy" to come. (Unfortunately, they may even be right) 
We only have one life... we are meant to live it to the fullest. We were not designed for mediocrity, we were designed with PURPOSE. No matter how crazy we may seem to others... no matter how many times we look at our bank balance and wonder if it will ever match our efforts... an entrepreneur will never cave into mediocrity; we would rather struggle to win than struggle to lose. My bank account does not at all match the time I have put in, but I know one day that it will.... or I will simply die with passion in my heart to see how far I can push myself.
Embrace failure for what it is... an opportunity to learn something that you did not know before. Chalk it up and say "Well, I guess that did not work, let me try something different." Success is all about perspective, so keep yours in check if success is what you wish; who cares what everyone else thinks, including the bank that manages your bank account. 
Your ability to succeed lies in your mind, but mostly of all, it lives and bleeds from your heart. 

Until next time...

xoxo


Shells


                                                   

                                                          

















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Tuesday, March 17, 2015

Parenting the Teens of Today

It's been a couple of weeks since my last blog... and if you are an avid reader, you know that I HATE when I am not able to sit down and write; you also know that what this typically means is that life has been busy, or it has thrown me a wrench and it was necessary to re-prioritize my time. Unfortunately sometimes when that is what life calls for, the blog has to wait.

Over the last few weeks, I have had both personal and "teenage"matters to deal with and through it all I must admit I have found myself heavy-hearted and in a complete funk; something I am not used to being in. I have hurdles all of the time but I typically push right through them after maybe a day of funky-town; not this time, it had me down. I am happy to finally be on the upside of my personal issues... but am sorry to say that my teen is still struggling with hers. Luckily, I have my mental strength back and can now lend it to her.

When I was a teen, life was challenging, hurtful and not very fun for me. Sometimes when I look back, I wonder how I made it through. However, the way times have changed, things are so much worse for these newer generations; life is no longer simple in any way for them even when things are going good. My daughter Baleigh is a beautiful, bright, 13 year old young lady who was an advocate-pioneer type last year. She walked with her head held high, had tons of friends and graced the halls with the stride of a leader. Academically, she was an average "creative" student but by the end of the year her grades were suffering greatly and her self-esteem and pride slowly began to fade. We had some problems and difference of opinion regarding a very broken and troubled boy that had shown interest in her who also happened to show interest in a dozen other girls.... without details, I will share that the year did not end well.

At the beginning of this 7th grade year, I had a different child. The Vice Principal who has become a good friend over the last year saw the change in her as well, so we discussed it. That strong, proud, leader we knew had become mentally unrecognizable. I have been working with the school staff through all of this over the past several months; we joined arms like an army trying to save a country... and nothing was working. We talked with her, tried to get to the bottom of it all and failed to find the answers we were looking for. I was lost for answers and continued to struggle at home.... our relationship seemed nothing more than a battleground most of the time, almost everything was uphill and it truly broke my frustrated heart. These were the teenage years you hear of... the ones I hoped to never experience, the ones that my oldest daughter Cierra, now 22 had only mildly prepared me for. 

I am sparing the details for the sake of my daughter... but let me STRESS that you must hold them close at this age, you MUST snoop around their rooms, read what they are writing, look at the pictures on their phones, read their texts from time to time... and even check their emails once in a while. We live in a VERY different world and it is completely uncensored unless YOU sensor it. Their minds are bombarded with things that they don't understand and they are too afraid to come to us to ask; did YOU ask your parents about things at that age? No... and neither will they. Instead they ask friends who know nothing more than they do, or they Google it, or look it up on You tube. Do you KNOW what's out there?  People are unknowingly allowing the internet to raise their children because getting them out of our hair makes life easier.

Do you KNOW the stress that the education system puts on the shoulders of our children now? It is insane; even the teachers think so. It makes me want to bring all my kids home and school them myself. In this crazy fast forwarded world that puts everything out there, while knowledge that is ten times harder is being forced into their heads at lightning speed, what they are not learning is how to deal and cope with this information overload and inside many kids are simply falling apart. They are seeking their own ways to cope and when you find out how they are doing that you will be blown away, saddened and downright frightened. I thank GOD for allowing me to notice a change in my daughter despite my increasingly busy career... no matter how busy I am, I still notice my children, their behaviors, their actions and address them. I am also thankful that my oldest is back in Florida to help me snoop, because without her I may not have found out what I did, simply because I dread stepping foot into the unorganized disaster of a teenager's room.

In the eyes of most people I am REALLY old fashioned. My daughter no longer has a "smart phone" because I simply do not feel that she had enough self control or maturity to hold that much temptation in the palm of her hand. She does have a phone where she can reach me and I can reach her, that does not take pictures and I take it away every time she breaks the rules and abuses privilege of having it (which is 85% of the time) I limit television time, I don't have cable... but have Roku so I can monitor what they watch, our internet is screened, and I don't allow them to go to friend's homes that I don't know. I DO encourage them to go outside, to run around and play... to use their child-like imaginations and play games like Yahtzee. I encourage them to draw, paint, and play hide and seek because kids should be kids, they need to be silly and carefree. When they fall down, I tell them to get up and brush it off, I kiss the boo boo and let them know that they are okay. I don't helicopter parent or give them everything they want because they need to know the value of saving up for something, how to deal with life's disappointments, and know it has curve balls.The most important yet often the most heart wrenching thing that I do is hold them accountable for their behavior even when I would rather throw my hands in the air and give up; they must have consequences. Parenting is the most exhausting of all my careers but I am responsible for these cute little people and I honestly take it as seriously as I do my business. Not sure if that is good or bad, but it is me.

As I withdrew my daughter from her creative arts charter school yesterday, I knew it was the best decision due to the issue at hand regardless of the tears that rolled down her face and mine... I also realize that we have a long road ahead and it will likely get harder before it gets easier. but I won't give up. For those of you who pray... keep us in yours and for the rest of you ... toss out some positive vibes for a teen that I know can change the world.

The moral of the story I shared...

Life is full of storms... the hurdles are inevitable, sometimes they show up and smack you down without warning; adversity does not discriminate. There will be times when you will not understand why or how, when you have no answers and no energy left. Remember, the mountain is there to climb... all the beauty and victorious feelings are felt and seen at the top, so DON'T give up... do not allow that to even be an option. Hard work and perseverance will be worth it in ALL that you do; but falling down and staying down yields no rewards.




Until next time...

xoxo



Shells


                                                   

                                                          

















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Monday, March 2, 2015

The Secret to Living Your Dream Life Is....

Well... it's not a secret at all... living a dream life is simply a goal that you set and relentlessly go after no matter how nuts or impossible it seems to you or anyone else. It is setting your standards high enough that the climb excites you so much that when you are hit with obstacles, setbacks, sacrifices and emotional exhaustion trying to get there, that you get back up without question and keep going. It is planning things out so methodically that there is little wonder of IF it will happen but rather of WHEN it will happen. It is being willing to do whatever it takes for however long to live what you dream... THAT is no secret, simply a critical decision in life that we all have, but so few choose.

Why do you dream but let them go? 
Why do you try but never finish? 
Why do you doubt but never believe?
Why do you give up but never hope? 

The reason is that we live in a world of disbelief instead create belief... we allow what everyone else thinks of our ideas, of our dreams, hopes and desires take over and we stop believing it can happen. One of my favorite shows when I was a kid was Mr. Rogers Neighborhood, I LOVED watching that show every day when it came on. My favorite part of the show was when he would change his shoes and go venture into the Land of Make Believe. I think something pivotal happened to me in the many years of watching that show... I think something in my brain clicked and set me on a path of entrepreneurship. Life in the Land of Make Believe was so much fun and exciting... he was always meeting and chatting with interesting people and learning so many things, I remember thinking to myself one day, why does that have to be make believe? Why can't that fun place be the real deal? From that moment on, I was on a mission. It was no longer make believe, in my mind it became create the belief and dream it is possible and this set me on my path to creating my dream life.

I started and have never looked back. I began working and have worked non stop towards that goal since I was 13. If you have read my book, you know that I have certainly had my share of hiccups but my dream has never left my head; my ultimate goal has never changed... and after many. many years of learning, growing, researching, planning and being COMPLETELY consumed in all that I do... I finally see it all coming together like an amazing puzzle. 

The past four weeks have been emotionally exhausting. I have things going on in my personal life right now that could easily hold me down and stop me in my tracks, but I have continued to push through and with that I found clarity and the energy to keep going. It is really happening... I am at that point where I can see the light shining ... I can see my hard work, dedication and planning finally coming together beautifully and it is making me run harder... I won't stop until I am there no matter how long it takes. Once I arrive I will be able to look back and say that every tear, every scar, every pain, hurt and moment of anger was worth it. I will be able to say... I DID IT! I NEVER GAVE UP AND I DID IT! I AM HERE! What better feeling is there to have than that?

What does your dream life look like? Have you written it down? Have you thought it out? Have you shared with someone what it is? Why don't you get out of that land of make believe and create your reality... it can happen... it will happen... or you could just be better off and simply happier in life because you died trying. We all have a purpose, God gave us talents to use in order to serve that purpose. It is OUR DUTY to ourselves and to others to FIND IT AND LIVE IT.

To all of those that have been outside looking in on my life that have thought that I was nuts for spreading myself so thin doing all that I do, you may have not understood my choices or what my reasoning and methodical purpose was.... but in the next several months you will discover how EVERYTHING will tie in together allowing me to achieve my ultimate goal and help everyone who wants to do the same achieve their BEST LIFE too!

Happy Monday and keep it going!


Until next time...

xoxo


Shells


                                                   

                                                          

















I HOPE THAT YOU WILL:

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