Tuesday, August 25, 2015

What You Have Is Enough...

WELL....
It has been two weeks since my last post, and usually, when this happens, it's because I have been busy traveling for work, or simply busy being busy at home. This time, however, my lack of writing was due to a few of life's circumstances that left me feeling like I had nothing truly inspirational to share right now; then I remembered something... I am enough. 

NOBODY IS PERFECT
So often in this world of fake reality and clouded perception, when we are feeling "less than perfect" we sometimes begin to feel we have nothing to offer... nothing worth saying or giving. When you are used to being a blessing, you never want to feel like a burden or even worse, a curse. Strong people tend to just sit quietly alone until the storm is over. This is almost always what I do when I am dealing with not so awesome circumstances. Sometimes, even the closest people to me won't even know what I am dealing with because I tend to recluse.

NEEDING INSPIRATION
Although I was still sharing daily inspiration and encouragement on Face Book, writing a whole blog post was not something I was feeling "inspired" to do; nor motivated to be quite honest. It happens, even to the best of us. However tonight, as I scrolled through the voice recorder on my phone, I found some inspiration. This voice recorder is where I often record bright ideas that pop into my head as I am driving, or as I lay in bed and wake up in the middle of the night to groggily record my voice. I planned to listen to the recordings one by one hoping to find a blog idea that had been thought of that I had failed to bang out yet.

Suddenly, I heard a message that I had recorded for someone and I realized I never sent it. I took the time to record it the moment it entered my mind, but I never had the courage to send it and had completely forgot I even recorded it. I'll admit, I got a bit emotional as I listened to it, kind of how a song on the radio with thwart you back in time, hearing my own voice and remembering how I felt that night sent me right back into the moment I recorded it.

THAT LITTLE VOICE THAT TOLD ME TO KNEW
When I first sat down to blog tonight... I drew a blank,  I had nothing, however I refused to get up from my keyboard until I wrote. Something told me to pick up my phone and this message was the second message I heard; it was exactly what I needed to be reminded of.

WE MAY NOT GET WHAT WE WANT
Telling someone they are enough, is powerful; especially when they are feeling less than adequate. I know, as there have been times when I felt unworthy... like what or who I was, was not enough. In those times, having someone tell me that I was enough would have been salvation. I longed for someone to let me know in those moments that how I was feeling about myself was a big, fat lie. I did not need to hear that I was strong, that I'd make it... or that I could do it because I was tough...or used to it. What I needed was for someone to hold me tight and simply say, "YOU ARE ENOUGH and I accept you and love you for EXACTLY who you are RIGHT NOW." 

MAYBE I SHOULD SEND IT
Unfortunately, some of us have yet to experience a moment like that. For that reason, I have decided that I will send that message tomorrow the person it was intended for... to let them know that they are enough.

JUST WHAT WE NEED
As I listened to this message... I smiled and thought to myself, WOW I have changed so much. The kind of love and acceptance I offer in this message is not only what I have always wanted, but it reminds me of the kind of love and acceptance we are promised from God. It does not matter where we come from, where we have been, the mistakes we have made or the fact that we have failed at things. What matters is that no matter what, we are loved, accepted and told that WE ARE ENOUGH!

What we do not have clarity on now, we should continuously seek. We will be made whole again; maybe for the first time ever. We are always perfect in someones eyes; it's simply perspective.

YOU ARE ENOUGH
What I hope for you tonight is that you will feel you are ENOUGH. Not everyone will recognize it and some will tell you that you aren't. I am here to remind you that YOU ARE! No man is perfect, however, we ARE perfectly made and we ARE destined to win.


Until next time... be faithful

xoxo

Shells





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Monday, August 10, 2015

An Uncertain Destiny... A Purposeful Prayer

Tonight, before I sat to write, I had the opportunity to create a peaceful candlelit atmosphere around me. This is something that I have not been able to do in a long time. I am thankful for this sense of peace in such an unsettled time in my life. There are a lot of things in limbo right now; many big changes ahead and quite frankly I am putting FULL FAITH in God right now because that is the only thing I feel I have on my side; it's enough.

I certainly did not see myself here at this point in life. 41 years old seems an age when things should be settled and content. I pictured it very different than it is... but life has a way of surprising you; mine more often than not. Three steps forward... two steps back; are the way things go while others seem to run marathons around me. Life is not always what it seems... "theirs" isn't either and I must keep that in my mind and sight.

THE REALITY
It is hard, I must admit to scroll through social media, seeing photos and posts of anniversaries, engagements, weddings and traditional families with a mom, dad, and kids doing things that families do in the summertime. Attending backyard cookouts, going on vacations... the togetherness, the commitment that I've never really had; at least not in the way it was meant to be... a married, committed couple raising a family together. I have 4 beautiful children who I feel have missed out on that beauty and although I give them all I can, I will share with you tonight that there are many moments when I can't help but feel their voids.

THE PAIN
As a parent, you want to give your kiddos everything they need, so it pains me when I simply can't. My daughters have never been to a daddy/daughter dance nor can I offer my son dude time fishing or playing ball. This is something that so many women take for granted and rarely realize how lucky they are. I look at photos and read posts and think "What did I do wrong? What did I miss?" I know my kids will be okay, but I must teach them what "family" is supposed to look like. I need to teach my daughters how to be a good wife and my son how to be a good husband; it's a challenge when you are flying solo.

What I have to constantly swallow is that my choices led me here; that is the hard lesson I am supposed to share tonight. It is what God put on my heart as I prayed for a blog topic. It's a harsh reality that our choices DO matter and we will always have to live with them. Although it is hard to admit our mistakes, when we do, we open ourselves up to forgiveness of ourselves... forgiveness of others and are able to move on the best we know how.

THE POINT
There are two messages that I want to get across in this post, one is, know that your life is exactly where it is supposed to be right now... even if it is uncertain, even if it sucks... even if it makes no sense at all. Clarity will come if you keep your eyes open and your heart warm. The second is to say PLEASE appreciate your partner or spouse for all that they do. So many people on the outside looking in wish they had what you do. When you take someone worth while for granted there is an injustice to their hearts and their future once the relationship falls apart... and trust me, it will. This kind of pain runs deep and scars you to the core.

THE PEACE
For a faithful person like myself... God has removed many of my pains of the past, however once in a while I still feel voids and sadness, so tonight I will pray that once again He takes these feelings away. I am not alone... and neither are you. Even in the lonely times we have someone looking after our hearts, our lives and our future. When you can put trust in that, these moments will only be mere moments; not a lifetime, and the blessings will rise to the top.

Be thankful, be thoughtful and realize all that you are blessed with and know that you will continue to be blessed if your faith continues to grow.

Until next time... be faithful

xoxo

Shells





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Wednesday, August 5, 2015

God 's Greatest Gift is Sometimes Pain

NO PAIN... NO GAIN.

Many of us have heard and even used that cliche and truthful phrase, yet we fail to remind ourselves of it when we are in the midst of our own painful storm. We want to put blame on someone... we want to make it someone's fault that we are hurting...

Perhaps it IS someone's fault; perhaps that someone is God.

For those of you who know my back story... you know that I was born and raised in Massachusetts, and that I moved to South Carolina at the age of 9, two years after my sister was killed in a drunk driving accident. For those of you who didn't know that; now you do.

WELL... TODAY IS THE DAY

Today marks 34 years that my sister has been gone. 34 years is a very long time, yet the pain of this day always comes; perhaps in different stages of grief, but nevertheless, it still comes. This was once a day that I did not understand, a day that angered me, a day that caused me to turn my back on God... a day that kept me from believing He ever existed; that feeling continued for many, many years.

Although many painful memories have surrounded this day in the past, I feel a little differently as I tackle today. I have accepted that a triumph came out of a tragedy and that I was chosen to take that tragedy and turn it into a story... a story that would help others get through tough times; whatever those may be. I took what God has brought me through and tell the story of how I was led back to Him through lots of pain and failure.

I am supposed to share how I gained wisdom, empathy and understanding through all that was brought on by this very day. I am supposed to realize and share the things that happened throughout my life as they occurred and things that continue to occur; things that help me see that God's greatest gifts often involve painful experiences. I am supposed to share that what we do with that pain is what paints our eventual picture.


THE EASY ROAD IS NOT THE ONE

It is easy to stay swallowed up in the pain, it is easy to continue to suffer, to feel sorry for ourselves and not move from where we stand in the moment; that takes little to no effort. What takes effort is fighting... what takes effort is punching our way through the pain to come out victorious, to accept what God is giving us as a gift and be able to accept the gifts that will come after.Victory is what was meant for us; truly, it is. He will lead you to it... all you have to do is realize it when it is in your face, accept it and cherish it as the gift that it is.

I recall thinking to myself WHY??? Why would a faithful God who loves me DO THIS??? Why would He cause so much pain and hurt in my family? Especially when we were living by His word? Why would a teenager who had one too many drinks be burdened and pained for years and years knowing His bad decision caused my 16 year old sister to lose her life? It was this thought process that kept me stuck for so long. I was stuck in a tornado of emotion; pain, hurt, anger, sadness, self pity and doubt. WHY?? I thought.

AND THEN IT MADE SENSE

None of  it made sense to me... until a few years ago when something good came from it; I wrote a book, and since have helped so many people with that transparent story. I also found that drunk driver through Facebook after writing that book and was able to let him know that I forgave him, lifting some of the weight he carried off of his shoulders for all those years. We have since emailed back and forth a few times and I was able to send him one of my books to read, which he did.

Through my pain and suffering I found my way back to God, back to the only arms that I know will always carry me, never fail or disappoint me. For that, I am so thankful, for it was a true gift. Without the pain, I would not have had the gain and without the faith I have now, I may not have been here to tell my story. I am not saying that I ever thought at any moment to end my life, however my path would certainly have been very different without what I went through and it is unlikely I'd be typing these words.

TEARS OF JOY

Today I will embrace my sister's memory... my tears will smile instead of cry as I recall childhood flash backs of me watching her put on makeup and I will say a prayer that God will continue to bless me with the pain I need to toughen me up for what is to come, to make me bulletproof, for the suffering that will cause me to seek Him more, because now, that is what I do. I cannot protect me.. only He can. He will bring to me things and people I need, not what I need to be protected from; I will trust in that and allow them to run the course.

It is hard for us to thank for things that hurt, that cause us tears, but it is only through these things and moments that we will be left with two choices... give up or give it to God.

If you give up, the victory he has waiting for you will never be enjoyed, so pass the baton and let Him take it; the finish line is waiting and it is everything that you've ever wanted; He promises that.

"All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us. For the more we suffer for Christ, the more God will shower us with His comfort through Christ. Even when we are weighed down with troubles, it is for your comfort and salvation! For when we ourselves are comforted, we will certainly comfort you. The you can patiently endure the same things we suffer. We are confident that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in the comfort God gives us." II Corinthians 1: 3-7

Today... I encourage you to give your pain to God, ask him to take it away, for you cannot handle this alone. Ask Him to surround you with those who will show you through their own stories how His grace can set you free, how it can bring smiles to your face and warmth into your heart even when you are in the midst of the storm.

Know that YOU ARE WORTHY of love... for the triumphs and victories that you are being led to. Don't deny yourself the joys that He brings to your life, lift your shameful head from the sand and allow yourself to be renewed and cleansed.


Until next time... be faithful

xoxo

Shells





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