Friday, May 17, 2013

Feeling Like You Are Not Good Enough?

We all have those moments... when we feel like we just aren't good enough. Maybe it's a failing marriage or relationship, perhaps a job loss, demotion, loss of a home or the simple fact that we are not where we wanted to be at this point in our lives. We constantly compare ourselves to people who are doing more, have more and live what "appears" to be a better life than us.

 I am here to tell you that this feeling is normal and expected from time to time; but I am also here to tell you that when you have those moments you need to THINK AGAIN! Society has ruined our culture... the pressures of always needing to win; success being defined by expensive cars, huge homes filled with lavish, overpriced furniture and accessorized with things we never use. We are defined by $200 jeans, $500 shoes $2,000 hand bags and if we can't afford these things, we are "not good enough".

Being a mother, I do everything I can to teach my children that these things do NOT define who they are or how good they are and only compliment them if they have a good character to begin with. It makes me sick that my eleven year old gets picked on because she isn't on "Instagram" or that she doesn't have an "Iphone". She is 11! She has no business being on "Instagram", Facebook or Twitter, nor does she need a cell phone that costs that much attached to her hip. The ONLY time she gets to use her modest phone is when she is kicking it around the neighborhood and I need to know where she is and when she wants to yack on the phone with her friends; rules apply with this "phone" and if she doesn't follow them privileges go BUH -by! If she wants an Iphone, she can work to save money and buy one herself... how about THAT for a "reality lesson."

If you constantly compare yourself to other people, ESPECIALLY people who make more money than you, you will ALWAYS feel inferior if "things" are what define you. However, if you compare your character to other people's, perhaps your tune will change to a more positive jingle. When you don't make six figures, you don't make six figures. You can do one of three things... be depressed about it, do what it takes to make six figures, or just be thankful for what you have and realize that being a good person says way more in the long run than a six figure income. I used to feel inferior because there was a time in my life when I was just trying to make sure my electric and water stayed on, and quite frankly I felt worthless , like I had nothing to offer anyone. During that time, I accepted things I should never have accepted from men that I dated because I "felt" that's all I was worth. However if I had the mindset I have now back then I would have walked with my head high knowing that I worked my butt off as a single mother to give my  kids a nice home, clothes they could be proud of and that I was teaching them values, a good work ethic, and what it meant to never give up on your dreams. I was a good person who cared for others and THAT was worth way more than the credit I gave it. I would have made different choices and expected the best instead of settling for less. Although I can look back and wish I had known better, if I had not evolved from that time to who I am today, I would not have this wisdom; so I am okay to have lived it.

I encourage you to pull yourself out of that hole, don't allow your defeats to define your success. You ARE successful at something no matter WHAT your circumstances are; be proud of that. If you are not living the life you hoped to live, I can assure you that staying wrapped up in feelings of failure will absolutely prevent you from EVER getting that life. If you change your "stinkin' thinkin" then you clear your mind and allow it to drive in a positive gear... when that road opens up, miraculous things can happen and pretty soon you may just be living the life you always wanted.

Reflect on these thoughts over the weekend; Do you beat yourself up? Do you feel worthless? Do you feel like a failure? Are those feelings actually VALID or are you simply comparing yourself to others and not giving yourself credit for your successes? Be yourself, be PROUD of you, and if you are NOT a good person, then WORK ON THAT and forget the Mercedes... 
A bad person behind the wheel of a Mercedes is still a bad person, but a good person behind the wheel of a rusty old beater means more than most give it credit for!