Saturday, March 15, 2014

Rough Weeks, Hurt Feelings and Just Being You

There are times that life throws curve balls just to get your attention; to keep you on your toes, in check and in line. When things like this happen you simply have to run with it, and keep going. I was on vacation last week in Colorado visiting my daughter and it was great, I miss the snow already. Although there were some moments that ultimately led me to a crossroad, you gotta take the good with the bad and appreciate it all for what it brought to your life.

The week before I left for vacation, my feelings got hurt when I discovered that a job I would normally have been booked for was given to another makeup artist. I typically don't let things like this get under my skin because I am blessed with tons of work; but this particular company had been loyal to me for years and had become part of my family, so I took it a bit personal. When I heard this news, I had a feeling I knew the reason why and just yesterday that hunch became fact. A person who now has the authority to hire the freelance artists has an issue with me. We had a few sit downs last year to discuss things when I first felt friction and to my knowledge at that time, everything was put on the table, sorted and we came to understand each other as people and assumed it had been worked out. I reduced my rates to meet their budget based on the amount of work I was getting which was supposedly one of the problems, and I bent over backwards making myself available at the drop of a hat in order to maintain my relationship with the company. Despite the fact that this person was making it hard for me to be who I had always been when working with them, I did my best to keep communication open since I understand that authority changes can be uncomfortable. I was told  "just be a makeup artist/hairstylist, because that's what you are." I will never forget that day... those belittling words cut me deeply especially when I had always been appreciated by this company for my diversity and willingness to fill more than one slot when needed. I sucked it up and agreed and the next few jobs that is exactly what I did, so when this job was given to someone else I was floored.

There are people that no matter what you do or how hard you try... a reason will be found to discredit you. They will make things up to justify what they feel and lie if they have to just to get their way. No matter how hard I try, I will never understand the glory people get in this behavior. We all have flaws, nobody is perfect; however we all have traits and strengths to be celebrated. Lifting people up is way more credible than knocking them down. WE ALL have awesome inside of us and I feel sorry for those that gain enjoyment putting someone down for who they are, especially when it involves being someone who goes the extra mile; since when is that a bad thing?

If there is one thing I have learned, it is that every moment and every person that crosses your path has purpose no matter how short,  long or uncomfortable their visit may be. I came home from vacation with some tough decisions to make and am trying my best to sort through it all, which I must admit leaves me a little mentally drained tonight. However I figured pouring it all out in this online "diary" of sorts may help me clear my head for tomorrow and perhaps help one of you readers out there.

Be the person who motivates, inspires, lifts others up with sincerity. Be the one that may be considered weird for being different, the one that stands out so that YOU will be recognized and loved for who you are; never compromise who you are when it means being less than you are meant to be.

I have always had issues with certain types of relationships because of my passion, drive and ambitions to be the best at everything that I do... I have been misunderstood in the past but have learned to define myself with clarity. I will always bump into people who feel threatened by that, but  those who know me know how much more I enjoy celebrating others for what they achieve, and my sincerity can be felt not just implied.

If I find myself finding more problems with someone than reasons to celebrate them, I communicate how I am feeling in order to find a solution to that. I know my ailments... this need for perfection and frankly get on my own nerves at times; it's a twisted part of life for me... but it is who I am and there ARE people who love me for that quality.

We all experience rough weeks, hurt feelings and mixed emotions... however we all seek acceptance and appreciation for who we are. Walk beside those that give you the encouragement, and walk beyond those who do not appreciate you as a person. You only get in life what you put out, so never settle for less than you are worth. There are times when you just have to cut ties and appreciate the good a person brought to your life and realize that there are some who have never been appreciated...

Wishing you an amazing weekend... be real, be true and be YOU.





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