Thursday, March 6, 2014

Being your Own Best Friend

Earlier this week, as I occasionally do, I posted an experimental question on my Facebook page to see what I could stir up for an inspiring weekend blog post. This weeks question was "Who is your best friend?"  Several people chimed in naming their spouse or significant other, a few said God, Jesus, or the Universe and one person said they did not have one. So... I began to ponder... what IS a best friend to most people? How do you know when you have one, and what do you have to do to be considered one to someone else? Of course every person who would respond to these questions would have a different answer. I decided to share my answers to these questions because there are people who are not sure what it means to have a best friend and I thought defining that may be significant; I believe that every person needs one.

To me, a best friend is the first person you tell everything to... it is the person that you call, text or email the moment something bad, good or indifferent happens knowing that no matter what it is you are telling them that they will not share it without permission, judge you for the content and who will give you honest advice or input regardless if it's what you want to hear or not; it's honesty, forgiveness and heart. It's having a person you can always count on to be there in good and bad times and that person realizes that being there for the bad times is most important of the two. It's a person who would never do anything to  hurt you and who knows what would hurt. It's a person who has your back, cheers you on and celebrates you and your accomplishments through small gestures that make you feel special. It may not be someone you talk to everyday, it may not even be someone you talk to every month, but when you talk it's meaningful, real, special, emotional and raw. Becoming a best friend is being that same type of person in return. 

As I typed, I asked myself the question... and without hesitation I felt proud to say that my #1 best friend is God, my # 2 is myself, # 3 is my mom, and I have 3 girlfriends that I consider "besties".  In that quick moment I realized how truly blessed I was not having to think very long, nor dig very deep... these people were right on the top of my mind and it made me smile. Up to this point of life, I have never had a spouse that I could call a best friend, but perhaps one day I will;  I can only hope, for there is truly something to admire in people who have this connection. Until then, I will embrace the ones that I have and never let them go. I will continue to be the best friend to those who have given me this title. 

I hope that you have one, if you don't, I hope you find one. We all need that special someone who will never fail us or let us down. As you go into your weekend, consider your own answer to this question... if you are married, ask yourself if your spouse is your best friend... if not, perhaps that is something that you could work on creating. If you don't have a best friend, then maybe you need to work on being one to someone else first.. often that person is yourself.

For many years of my life, I found it hard to make friends... much less find one that I could call my BFF. Although my definition of a best friend was pretty clear at a very young age; I longed for someone that I could tell all of my secrets to without being judged or laughed at, but never found that person. So... for many years I became my own best friend; me and my diary... me and my journals. I poured out my secrets, my emotional roller coaster's, my pain, my anger, my fears. Through this, I learned to love myself, talk nice to myself, to encourage myself through my toughest times, and it became a necessary part of  life for many years. Becoming your own best friend may sound silly... but if you don't love yourself for who you are, what you stand for and what you hope to become, you will never be able to love someone else in this way. 

I encourage you to look in the mirror this weekend and ask yourself if you are your own best friend... do you love that person unconditionally? Does this person judge you? Does this person talk bad about you or do they fill you with hope and loving words? Gaze at that reflection and learn to love what you see... if you can't, then you have just reached that first step into gaining that best friend. LEARN TO LOVE YOURSELF, you have been created to be amazing, but if you are letting yourself down then everyone around you will follow suit.

Wishing you an amazing weekend... be real, be true and become your own best friend.

xoxo

Shells


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