Monday, October 13, 2014

How to HAVE the Time....

I often hear people say,  "I don't have the time" when they are speaking of things that they want or need to do and it is very hard for me to take this seriously since I am the queen of doing so many things that people think I am some kind of immortal that does not require sleep.  That being said, if you say this in my company, I warn you... be prepared for a little rap session; after all, my goal is to help you reach YOUR goals, so why on earth would I sit quiet hearing this? I help solve problems... that is what I do, so we must "chat" about why you don't have the time to do things right? So yes, I am going to be THAT person... the one that although you may not want to hear it, I am a good enough friend or person to put it to you straight and say... yes, you DO have the time... you just don't USE the time you have in a way that allows you to do these things. I don't make this point to be cruel and it is certainly not because I am judging you for how you spend your time, I could honestly care less... but when someone wishes to do something or needs to do something and they tell me that there is NEVER TIME in their day, I know that 98% of the time it is simply not true. Rare occasions will prove differently but these occasions are VERY rare.

Chances are you read my blog because you KNOW I am a straight shooter who will put things into perspective; unlike most people who fluff and sprinkle glitter on every opinion they offer giving you exactly what you WANT to hear. If that is the kind of opinion you like... then you should probably stop reading now and never come back and go find a blog adorned with rainbows and lollipops. However... if you want to get a true, honest, upfront reason why you don't accomplish more or have the time to do what you wish or love, so that you CAN accomplish more and do the things that you love... then stick around for a little reality check.

Ask yourself... what do I want or need to do that I never seem to "find" the time for? Is it having time to yourself? Is it spending time with your family? Is it finally getting to that closet that you need to clean out or filing all that paperwork that has piled up? Or maybe it is simply doing something that you love, like going for a walk on the beach, crafting, or getting together with a friend for lunch. Whatever it is... I am here to say that you DO have the time, you DO have the ability to get it done or make it happen, you just have to make it a priority. It amazes me how many people will complain about not having time to do something knowing that they NEVER miss an episode of their favorite TV shows. Yes... that junk drawer is not interesting at all... but the weight that will be lifted when it is FINALLY cleaned out and you are no longer haunted every time you force it open with a screwdriver is priceless and VERY freeing. The feeling of accomplishment is something to be revelled and should never be underestimated even when we are talking junk drawers.

In marriages or relationships, I often hear people say that they NEVER have time alone together, yet the person complaining is rarely creating any time to spend alone with the other person. The average person today lives by schedules and when you have a family, you are packing in more than ever between kids and careers making it very difficult to be spontaneous. As much as we wish those "drop everything and run in whatever direction we want" days still existed, they don't, but we CAN get creative with our time. Scheduling a date with your significant other may not sound very romantic but it IS a way to get the time you desire. Sending a text message or slipping a note during dinnertime saying "meet me in the living room for popcorn and a movie after the kids are in bed" can be just as spontaneous and romantic as the days before kids and chaos; even more so if you give what you do an element of surprise. I can say that personally, I value time that has been created for me WAY more than time someone simply had to offer.

SO what do you do to have the time? Perhaps catch a 20 minute power nap on a Saturday so you can stay up when the house is quiet and do what it is you need or want to do. If you have a spouse, take turns giving each other down time... have them watch the kids one night a week so you can have free time... just be sure to do the same in return; call it a "get out of jail card" to make it more comical if you want, but make it a priority to have some free time at LEAST once a week. I find it sad that most people who have jobs get paid time off or have built in sick days that they never take but could have used to spend a spontaneous day with someone they care about or to do something they love to do.  Don't have time to go to the gym or work out? Wake up an hour early to get  in that 30 minute DVD or YouTube workout before the house wakes up. Cancel a night in front of TV or take that PTO day to meet a friend for lunch or an evening appetizer or to clean out that ridiculously crowded closet but please... STOP giving yourself excuses of why you can't do something and develop an "I CAN IF I WANT IT BAD ENOUGH" attitude.

Time is very precious, so make the most of it. When you give it, it should be valued, appreciated and never taken for granted; the same goes for when it is received. When you make someone FEEL significant the reward will be happiness, fulfillment and will give them no reason to look for someone else that will make them a priority.

There is ALWAYS time... you just have to get creative; I've been doing it for years among all my craziness so if I can do it, SO CAN YOU! Will you have to sacrifice something? Perhaps... but big rewards come from small sacrifices and that in itself better light a fire under your buttocks.

I can PROMISE you that if you wait until you "find" the time.... you NEVER will. Time is not found, it is created. Remember that!

Until next time...





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