Monday, June 22, 2015

To Father's Everywhere... YOU ARE SO IMPORTANT

As Father's Day came to a close this evening, I felt a need to write something from my heart , something special in reflection, in honor of all the wonderful Father's out there; I wanted you to know just how important you truly are just in case you did not hear that this weekend.

When I think of my dad, I will always cherish his amazing voice, bellowing laugh and great smile... I love holding his rough, calloused carpenter's hands and the smell of sawdust that seems to seep from his skin is still one of my favorite aroma's.
The joy I find in serving others with my talents comes from watching him for years and even to this day share his talents, always building things for free or at a fraction of the cost, just because he loves what he does or how he loves strumming on his guitar and sharing his love for music.
Our relationship may not be perfect, and there may be things I wish we had that I know we may never have, but no matter what, I Love my Dad and celebrated that today by sharing these thoughts with him. 

It's certainly a man's world; larger salaries for the same credentials, more credit for career accomplishments and men certainly hold the long end of the stick when it comes to the process of creating and bringing a child into this world; so yes... Mom's get most of the credit when it comes to birthing and rearing a child for that reason. As a single mom of 4, I can say with or without a husband, career or no career, the role of a mom/wife is a tough one, but I am also a female who truly appreciates a good father when she sees one; I will be the first to say that good father's need more praise and credit.

Females accept the responsibility and assume the role of motherhood when they have a child; like it or not, it's just what we do. Although it does happen, it is rare to hear of a Mom abandoning her children, yet you see children without fathers every day because a man can simply cut ties and walk away. They choose to assume the role and play a part or not... it's just how it is and men bail frequently or simply exist in the lives of their kids but never give to their kids what a father should.

It takes a lot to be a good father; a man who makes a child does not always earn the title. Simply put, not all men possess the "natural instinct" of being a father, while others claim it, realize the responsibility of it, absorb it, bask in it, enjoy it and do what it takes to raise that child as best that they can. A father's role is one of the most important in a child' s life, for without it... a child is left with many open cracks. The voids in a child's life when that Father figure is not there to give the love, support, discipline and encouragement that is needed are forever... voids that no matter how strong of a person their mom is, she simply cannot fill. Children without a strong father in their lives have vastly different stories than the ones that did.

So Dad's... listen up!
If you are present in your child's life, if you spend quality time with your kids, guide them morally, ethically and faithfully, show your love for them daily no matter how near or far you may be, then I praise you for an awesome job... seeing what you do for your kids truly brings a tear to my eye. Since my kids don't have that relationship with their dad, it's very special and precious to me. If you are a dad who merely exists in the lives of your children, not truly accepting the important role that you hold in your hard working hands, or if you are absent only seeing your kids when the divorce papers say you can... PLEASE, call them every day to say goodnight, swallow your manly pride and forget about your feelings; it's not about you, it's not about her, it's about THEM. Write them a letter to let them know that you miss them, don't forget to call them, email or text them on their birthday's or holidays that you don't have them, make them a priority and show interest in their life so they don't feel forgotten... they will never forget that emptiness and will grow up with voids that are impossible to fill if you don't do what you need to do.

Mom's... listen up!
If you have a husband or a father to your kids that is present in their lives, praise them, appreciate them for all that they do, give them credit and do it often; you are SO BLESSED. Many of you have no clue what it's like to be on this side of the fence. If you are divorced, make SURE they are playing a role in that child's life if they choose to do so... so many men walk away from the responsibility and just "send a check". Using your children as pawn's may be hurting the ex, but you are hurting your kids more, I promise. Be thankful for the dad who wants to be a father.

Children Without a "Father"... 
I know what it is like to see pictures, read people's stories or posts about amazing relationships with their dad's on a day like this and get a little sad inside for one reason or another. It's sucks, but just know that you are not alone, know that your Heavenly Father will never fail you and loves you unconditionally. Don't let anger, resentment or disconnect ruin you... you ARE special and worthy of love.

Children with a great Father...
Know that you are blessed and NEVER EVER take them for granted.

I hope all of you men out there that have earned the title had a terrific Fathers's Day... for the rest. Work on earning that title for next year's celebration of you!

Until next time... 





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