Tuesday, August 5, 2014

Another August 5th.... The day that changed my life forever

As I prepared myself for tonight's blog, I sighed... and actually smiled because another year has passed and here I sit writing a blog on the eve of August 5th... the day my sister died 33 years ago, the day I wrote my very first journal entry 29 years ago which later became the beginning of the first chapter in my book, the night in 2010 that I ironically typed the last word of the first draft of that book which was dedicated to my sister, and the day in 2012 that I was scheduled to release the book and did not meet the deadline. It was because of not meeting this deadline that I was reconnected with my sister's best friend; one of the last people to see her alive after her friend's husband saw my tribute blog post that day and emailed me. I would say that this day has become more than significant in my life wouldn't you agree?

Many things have happened on this day now that can make me smile; a day that was once filled with sadness, grief and horrible memories is now a day with new meaning; all in the memory of my beautiful sister Teresa.  Oh how I hope that she can see me from heaven, that she is somehow helping control what's going on down here... ya know, looking out for me. I know that she would be so proud of what I have created through the most devastating things that ever happened to me. How I wish so badly that she were here, I would have loved to know what it was like having a big sister in my adult life... as I had children and went through life struggles she would have likely been the one I would  have called when I needed a shoulder; I guess that is why God made my mother so awesome... he knew I would need her.

I need something else significant to happen today to keep up the trend; I have a few things planned to help make that happen. Every year on this day, my word of choice is "SIGNIFICANCE"... What can I do to make today significant, meaningful and on purpose? The answer is we can ALWAYS do SOMETHING to make the day significant and I want all of you to remember that. You can make it significantly bad or significantly good... the choice is yours and your actions will define how that story ends.

I honestly cannot write a long post tonight... I am already swallowed up in tears after writing these few short paragraphs... and me, yes, me... the girl who is FULL of things to say has also learned that sometimes saying less is more and keeping it short can be VERY sweet. My message to you is that know that every single moment has purpose... meaning and significance, so spend them wisely, live them with love, hope and meaning but most of all, cherish every single one; we never know when tomorrow will be taken away.

To my sister Teresa up above....

I miss you dearly, not only today, but every single day that goes by. I must admit, that I am kinda jealous that you are up there hangin' with God, I know he is awesome. Watch out for me down here, okay? I feel your presence in me when I write... you loved to write and even planned to be a journalist; I often feel that your voice lives within me. As far as I am concerned, we write together... it is because of you that I first wrote in a journal and it will be why I write books and blog posts forever. Thank God for me, he provided the "why" that I needed in what was once a very lonely, dark and angry place for me. His light shines through me brightly now and my hope is to continue to change and influence the lives of others in a positive way just as He did. You still have meaning Teresa, you are my purpose and together, we have become significant.

XOXO
Your lil' sis,
~SHELLS~

      
                                                          
I HOPE THAT YOU WILL

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