Become What You Cannot See

Sometimes I wonder how we come out of childhood level headed and not completely confused. Perhaps we aren't level headed or clear on reality actually; maybe THAT is the problem and also the reason why we so often end up disappointed in life.

We are somewhat brainwashed from an early age... it starts with fairy tales that declare every prince will find his princess and that all it takes to live happily ever after...  is a kiss and a fancy castle. We are lied to about Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, Unicorns and Pots of Gold.... What? I looked for them, didn't you?  Oh... well, now you know I was that weird kid who chased rainbows... metaphorically speaking, I suppose still chase them.

 THEN... if that were not enough to mess us up for life, confuse our morals and kill our dreams...

 We were taught things like....

"WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT YOU GET"

 I must strongly disagree this as truth in today's world, in fact, I don't think it has ever been the majority ruling if we can be honest.

Think about it....if what you see is supposed to be what you get, then why is it that so often people deceive and pretend to be what they are not? Why do people struggle so hard to be themselves day to day? Why do others have expectations set so high that you feel you have to pretend in the first place? After all, being true to who you are is the most freeing privilege you can allow yourself.  I know this, because I am in that place. A few years ago when I "found myself" again, I realized also in that time why I had lost myself to begin with. It was in that realization that I learned more about myself than I ever had. It made me also realize how many others were doing the same things I had because I was living it.

Fake body parts, padded undergarments, Botox injections, designer clothing, expensive purses, fancy cars... there is nothing really wrong with nice things or looking your best, but why has this become what defines us instead of simply WHO WE ARE? Wouldn't life be so much simpler if we could just say... what you see is what you get and be done?

How many times have you caught yourself thinking or perhaps even saying... "I don't know who I am anymore" ? Yep... me too. A thousand times throughout my life I have spoken those words or thought that thought. So what can we do to change that? Well... we must

LEARN TO LIVE THE PRINCIPAL...

"WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT YOU GET" 

We must  simply stop being fake and start being real. We must become what we cannot see, we must force others to look beyond the surface and fall in love with who we are; what makes us tick.

Don't be ashamed of your past, don't hide your present, LIVE in it... and never, EVER fear your future. I can testify that your own personal story of all three stages will inspire someone. Be proud of who you are, how you got to where you are and by all means, claim where you intend to go. Know that every mistake, hiccup, shortfall and bad decision, made you who you are. These things are what makes you real, relatable and inspiring. Allow these things to help make your life a mission with purpose, a journey you can embrace at every turn. We are all here to make a difference, some of us ignore that calling and some of us simply do whatever we can to spread  the messages that we all need to know and practice in order to live an abundant and happy life.

Today, and every day... I encourage you to work on finding yourself if that person is lost. Define who you are, claim it, be proud of that person and begin again. It's never too late to claim what was once yours. Allow yourself the freedom of just being you and stop caring about what everyone else thinks; that's how you got lost in the first place.

I PROMISE you that it is in this stage of life that EVERYTHING that you ever wanted will begin to happen, the people who will be in your life forever will show up and make themselves known... and because you are here, you will notice them. The fairy tale life you always wanted will become your reality.

"When you stop resisting what is naturally supposed to happen, 

a happier life will begin to fall into place." 

© Shelley Giard 2010

Until next time... 

xoxo

Shells

WWW.THESGIARDGROUP.COM

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Challenges of Being a Passionate Person

Ahhh... man have I missed that sound; the sound of soft piano music playing which is always what I listen to as I write. I have been so busy that it has been a full two and a half weeks since I was able to sit down and write freely just letting whatever is on my mind flow out like a raging river. I am soaking up this moment as I speak out in verse... it's my muse and I hold these moments so dear. I look forward to a time when I will be able to slow down just a bit and spend more time doing just this. The time that will come when I have reached that eventual point in my head when I will relax in satisfaction knowing that all my hard work and dedication has finally given me and my kids all that we will ever want and need; I know that day will come.

The challenges that passionate people face are countless but most of us would not have it any other way; it is actually part of the excitement. Always having some sort of burning desire that makes you wake up and keeps you from sleeping at night can be both a blessing and a curse. Your passions often hold your focus making it hard for others to become a part of your life unless they can be excited with you... unless they can dream and visualize what you see in your head. It can get lonely... so we simply stay busy to keep our minds off of that. It is only when we have quiet moments with nothing to do that we think about the sacrifices we make to go after what lights our fire, makes us tick... what we have found is our purpose in life. Realizing that you can easily alienate yourself from so many things in the world around you is quite humbling.

From the outside looking in, being passionate looks exciting and can be very motivating...  let me express that although it is, it does not mean the life we lead is for everyone. If it was, "living your dreams" would not be that special. Being passionate about something is more often a roller coaster ride than it is being secure or knowing what to expect, it is simply a force that you cannot control. I have had people say to me... "I could never do what you do, I would be so stressed not knowing from day to day, week to week if I would make enough to do everything that I needed and wanted to do." I say that I could never do what they do... regardless of how secure it felt, it would never feel right knowing that I would be trading reaching my fullest potential or seeing how far I can go for a secure salary.  I often give up wants in order to be sure that the needs of my kids and I are met and am afraid to spend too much just in case tomorrow yields a different forecast, but that is still better to me than putting my future in someone else's hands. I can guarantee what I do, but I will never control or be able to guarantee what someone else does, feels or decides. I suppose this is part of the discipline a self made entrepreneur must possess to survive the ups and downs.

The people closest to you may not always understand your passions... they may not support you and may even exclude you from things. They might mock you making fun of what your dreams, goals and ambitions are or treat you like you are worthless. People that are insecure or who have settled into comfort zones typically feel jealous or uncomfortable around people who are going after something in life. Passionate people ALWAYS want to be part of something bigger, and a truly passionate person knows that what others think will not deem their success or failure... but that allowing what others say to change our direction that will.

There have been times in my life when I allowed people to pull me away from my goals and dreams... without those setbacks I would have likely already reached my ultimate goals, but I also believe that the setbacks were necessary at the time. They were a purposeful part of my journey and I accept that as truth. The path I am headed down now is the right one... I feel it with every ounce of my soul and with that, I have become more passionate over the past few years than I have ever been. I have lost the people in my life that were not meant to be in it for the long haul and I have gained some that may very well be with me until the end; either way, life is happier and much better even if I do sit home on Friday nights to blog or work, or to do something that will help me reach what I am going after.

We all tick differently... I may not understand why every person on the planet does not want to find something to become passionate about  and go after it, however I respect that we are not all the same and love people where they are. It's simply unfortunate that I don't always get that same respect for being who I am, however I can live with it and will still accomplish my dreams without it.

If you are one of the many that sit back and watch these passionate souls around you in confusion... know that what we fight for, we live for. What we dream of, we expect to make a reality with every ounce of who we are no matter what you think.... we go after it and will sacrifice things you likely would not to get what we seek. Understand that we hope one day you can appreciate us and respect that we simply attached ourselves to something that we loved and gave it our all. If you are someone that feels a burning desire to be part of something bigger... if you have a dream or goal that you are afraid to go after because of what others might think... let me tell you that it is worth it. Even when you are lonely, you will have purpose and God knows where your heart is even when nobody else understands. DON'T let go of your dreams... let your passions live and thrive so life will be more amazing. Safety nets don't always catch you so you may as well fly.

Until next time...

xoxo

Shells

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Realizing the Importance of Family Time

Today marked the end of a much deserved and long-overdue family vacation... something many people take for granted or have grown accustomed to, yet sadly something that I had never taken the time to do with my family. Day after day, week, after week, year after year, I sat back and looked at pictures being posted of family vacations from friends and acquaintances all over the globe and often wondered when I would finally do this with mine.

Even though at times in my life not taking vacation was due to the lack of money... that reason eventually changed. What had not changed was the time freedom... the ability to be able to plan and carry out several days off. For all of my working life, I have been either self- employed or a business owner who felt that I could not leave my business behind. There were no paid vacations or PTO in my world. If I was going to do this, it had to be carefully planned and worry free; paid for in full without wondering if I would be set back when I returned. I have run the rat race for so long that I allowed fear to get in the way of me getting out there to enjoy what all the hard work I put in had created even when my situation had changed.

In my day to day, I am very routine... almost to the annoying point I might add, and I learned this week that it's my routines that are what likely keep me from being able to relax and enjoy everything; I need to work on that. I get so caught up in this web of workaholism that I have no idea how to get untangled and technology has only made it worse. I always have one more email to reply to or check, one more phone call to make or one more item on my to-do list that cannot wait. I forced myself to unplug for the last several days and found myself scrambling for something to keep my time occupied, I could not just SIT, I was restless every night, tossing and turning and found myself staring at the ceiling nearly every night with thoughts running through my head wishing I had a laptop. I finally got a restful sleep Friday night out of pure exhaustion only to lie awake again on Saturday night thinking about all of the things I would have to do when I returned... sadly I was not stressed about it, I was excited and could not WAIT to get back to work.

I am really happy that I did this, that I took the time... although it was hard for me and I could not even readily say "yes" when a friend asked me if I had fun because work is what is fun for me. I am happy that I forced myself out of my comfort zone because it is only then that we can experience change in our lives. We cannot live by fear, we must live by opportunity, chance, and change.

As I sit at my laptop happily writing this routine blog on a quiet Sunday evening, I can say, YES.. I DID have fun. I thoroughly enjoyed watching my kids swim, laugh and run around, I will cherish playing Go-Fish with Zane to occupy my antsy down time, as well as bottle up the giggles that escaped Brie's lips when we all clapped loudly as she rolled a large straight in one single roll on the night we played Yahtzee together, or the anxiousness I could see in Baleigh's eyes when I took her on a haunted tour of the St. Augustine Lighthouse in the dark... it was a good time; much needed time and I am going to make it a point to take this time more often. I assume that practice makes perfect in not only work but also in play. Any advice on that one feel free to comment and I hope that you enjoy the pictures that I chose to share....

My little reminder in the sand of what is most important

Off to the pool with my sun hat and SPF 50  

My brave little Brie enjoying the slide...

Where we spent most of our time

 My toes in the sand; a place they rarely tread 

  

After a long day at the pool we headed over to the beach to watch the sun go down

Ahoy Mates! A pirate has escaped!

 Enjoying a historical trolley ride around St. Augustine after a long day of walking in the heat

 Baleigh and I about to go on our "Ghost Tour" at the St. Augustine Lighthouse
It was cool and historical but LAME in the scare department

We climbed all the way to the top in the dark with nothing but a glow stick around our necks

I found my dream home... I will build it in New England or Colorado

And well... I could not think of a better way to end this blog post....

 xoxo

Shells

                                         

                                                          

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An Unexpected Three-Week Vacation....

21 days since I last wrote a blog entry, 21 days since I poured out thoughts and things onto a glowing white screen, 21 days since I was celebrating 3-21-14; World Down Syndrome Day. It's been an unexpected three-week vacation; two weeks of  either being sick or taking care of my sick munchkins and one week spent playing catch up and preparing to leave on the first leg of my 2014 tour. It's been a crazy ride so far this year; four months in already... I seriously cannot believe it, but what is more baffling is how many changes have transpired already this year. I had the time to think in week two as I lay in bed coughing, stuffy headed and sick to my stomach. Over the course of a three day hot date with my pillow, my waking moments; (they were in deed only moments) were spent thinking about everything that is happening, the doors that are opening up for me and as I blew my nose I smiled for mere seconds because that's all that I had the energy for. On the eve of my first stop for 2014, I am tired... kind of exhausted, yet full of life and energy. I have depleted myself this week mentally with late nights working and getting very little rest but the excitement and gratitude for everything happening is overflowing making me happy-tired instead of grumpy-tired.

I am reminded that July will mark four years since I sat down and began typing my story, I have decided that that on that anniversary will be a day of rest. I will spend it somewhere I can relax... exhale a bit and be proud in the moment. This year is going to be a good one... it's year four; I will soon GROW EXPONENTIALLY, everything is falling into place. I am quickly reminded of the story of the Bamboo plant that I have heard SO many times in seminars, in books that I have read and have always kept that story in the front of my mind; it keeps me going even when I want to quit. I will now share that story with you in case you don't know it.

Unlike most other plants, Chinese bamboo is quite unique. After bamboo is planted, watered, and nurtured for the whole first growing season, it does not outwardly develop even an inch. Then, on the second growing season, the farmer must continue to irrigate, fertilize and care for the bamboo tree and yet still; nothing happens – it fails to sprout just the same as year one.


As the seasons go in and out, the farmer has to continue caring for the bamboo for four consecutive years. What could really be discouraging is that the farmer has nothing substantial to demonstrate his labor in caring and growing this stubborn tree. Four lonely years of hard work and care and nothing to show for it.

And then in the fifth year... the bamboo plant grows more than 80 feet in just one growing season! 

It's quite an amazing story would you agree? Four long years of caring and hard work only to gain nothing. That's how we can get in life so many times... bogged down, discouraged and depleted trying to yield something; to have just one indication that our time is well served, so we hang on. In light of that determination, we keep going. Finally... the season of growth comes rapidly, so fast that it nearly knocks us down but it was worth the wait and the exhaustion.

As I prepare for my speaking event on Sunday, I have no idea how many people are coming. It may be 40 it may be 2, but I hope it's at least 1; at least one person whose life may be changed for the better. If not, I will do as I have done many times in the years of staying positive; I will speak life to myself... I will listen and implement what I hope to share with others. Trust me if I have 5 people show up I may just do a happy dance, because as impromtu as this was thrown together to piggyback it onto  book signing, 5 people will be awesome. If one of those five gets something out of what I said that will make their life better somehow than my mission was accomplished and my time was well spent.

Although some of you may think I am a "big deal", I am not; I am no different than anyone else who has not given up on their dreams. Even if you feel that I am different from you, I want you to know that You have every ability to follow what I have done to get here.

The thing that I am most thankful for is that I have God living in my heart now, that he knows where I am going and that I choose to trust in it. I still mess up, He knows I mess up and it bothers me now more than ever when I do, for I hate to disappoint anyone, including myself. I am glad I value myself enough now to care; for many years I did not.

I apologize for being sick, I apologize for that unexpected three-week vacation, but I think it is exactly what I needed to carry on. I will be back on schedule next week, bringing you hope on Mondays and something to think about on Fridays. I encourage you to stop in and get inspired. Take care and I hope to see some of you in South Carolina.

If you would like to know where I will be, you can go to Shelleygiard.com and click on the "events" tab. 

Have an awesome weekend, stay strong, stay positive, be real and be happy.

xoxo

Shells

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