Saturday, October 26, 2013

Stop the Excuses!

I will preface by saying that sure, I may get some frowns on this post, but that's won't change my mind nor will it alter my life's direction; I have dealt with haters before. I have learned that when I am doing something right , someone who is doing it wrong usually gets upset. When someone I meet is doing things right I choose to listen up and take notes and that is when I have grown the most. So for those of you like me... get out those note pads now.

Although all excuses of why someone can't do something get on my nerves (even when it's my own); single mom excuses get under my skin more than anything. When I see Facebook posts complaining about single motherhood, I get it... it's hard. I have been a single mom much of my 21 years of motherhood and am technically still a single mom even though my boyfriend of 3 years has been incredibly helpful and active in the lives of my kids over the past few years. It's challenging, tiring, frustrating and at times can be downright exhausting, especially when you have to make the bacon, cook the bacon and clean the bacon grease out of their clothes (metaphorically speaking of course) while still trying to maintain your sanity < that is literal! Trust me, I have 4 children, so if this is your cry of grief, you WILL get sympathy from me... for about 2 minutes before I will tell you that you CAN do it and still achieve your dreams and reach your goals.

Much of my life I have lived states away from family, and I still did it. I held down a full time career, paid for everything and somehow stayed sane. (Some may disagree with that last statement) Being self employed helped because when I needed to make more I simply found more work. I did not fall into a pity party of how "I could not afford" to do what I needed to do, I gave up much of what I "wanted" to do and did everything short of pimping myself out, dance on a pole or do anything illegal to make the money I needed to reach my goals. I am here to tell you that YOU can do it too.

I remember about a year ago I got an email from a lady who was looking to buy the solid wood nautical toddler bed that I had listed on craigslist for a VERY reasonable price. She emailed me with such excitement and enthusiasm and even stated how badly she had been wanting this item and how reasonable I had it priced. We scheduled a time for her to come pick it up and I waited nearly all day for her to get there. After changing the time twice she then called to ask if I would drop the price $75 because she was a single mom. I almost said yes... and then I thought wait, I am a single mom of 4 and am selling the bed in order to pay cash for a bunk bed for my two youngest children. I decided to tell her that although I understood her situation being that I was a single mom myself, I had to stay firm because it WAS a great price. I made sacrifices and found ways to get the money I needed, so she needed to do the same.

"Being a single mom" was never an excuse I allowed myself to use to gain deals or sympathy or to explain away why I couldn't do something. Being a single mom was how my life ended up due to the choices that I made and it was up to me to figure out how to make it work. I sold the bed the next day for full price and got the bunk bed for my children. Being a single mom became the reason why I HAD TO instead of an excuse as to why I couldn't.

Excuses become the very reason we DON'T do something, and I am tired of people who are not willing to sacrifice their wants for their needs using single motherhood as an excuse. Yes it's hard, yes it creates a lot more challenges, but if you WANT something bad enough you can GET it if you put your mind to it and get creative. You do NOT have to use an excuse, you do NOT have to feel sorry for yourself or gain sympathy from those around you, you just have to DO what it takes to get what you want and if that means giving up that Grande Mocha-chocha-cocoa- frozen- scattered-covered smothered- twisted latte or the newest I-gadget then guess what???

I am not here to beat you up, I am here to HELP you. Whether you are a single mom or just a person who is constantly giving everyone including yourself excuses of why you can't do something realize that this is EXACTLY why you WON'T!

And that's just the way it is....


Follow me on Facebook

Follow me on Twitter

Get a copy of my inspirational memoir