A Christmas Eve Blog

It's quiet... REEALLY quiet in my house tonight.... my children are away with their dad for Christmas break this year so I am relaxing at home alone. It's not looking, smelling, or feeling like Christmas normally does for me, but in an odd and perhaps strange way, if I had a fireplace and snow outside it would honestly be perfect. I was invited to a few gathering's tonight and although grateful that I have such amazing friends in my life, I decided to hang out with myself instead; I needed it. The past 6 months have posed a huge shift... another transition that will ultimately lead me to more amazing things in 2015. Sometimes it is necessary to be alone... to reflect on all that is around you and I am truly thankful for this time right now to do just that. So... I sit here with soft music playing, a fresh cup coffee and homemade chicken soup simmering on the stove, reaching out to inspire you tonight. No tree, no decorations... but I am content.

Happiness and contentment in life is all about perspective... it's not about material things, or people making you happy. As I have said many times, over the past several years it is about YOU enjoying time with yourself, liking who you are, being confident in that and not needing anything or anyone to put a smile on your face. It is about being thankful for what you have, where you are and appreciating your journey no matter how rough the road gets. As I was out at the store today grabbing a few things to make chicken soup, I could see the stress on people's faces... the scurrying around getting last minute gifts and groceries... people honking horns on the roads with frustration in their eyes; it was literally a zoo. I walked with peace... a smile on my face and actually felt kind of lucky to not have so much to do. I have two weeks before I will be celebrating Christmas with my beautiful kids but I will not be caught up in the craziness. I will be able to enjoy myself, the time with them once they are home, and not be in a hurry for anything.

Christmas Eve for me this year is about reflection... about remembering why we celebrate this holiday; it's all in perspective for me tonight. I still have a few bumps ahead as the new year approaches but I have learned so much about the rewards that await once the storms are over and I look forward to what lies ahead. The clouds always lift, and the sun will always shine again. No matter what you are going through, no matter how lonely you may be this holiday season... know that you are still blessed beyond words. Do what you can to be thankful, to be happy and to fill yourself up with Christmas spirit by getting right within your heart, with others, with yourself and with your Creator. I have made MANY, MANY mistakes in my life, I am FAR from perfect and am constantly looking to improve... but when I am in the midst of a storm or when I have feelings in my heart or people in my life that are trying to steal my smile I simply bow my head and pray for the strength to keep everything in perspective. Funny thing is it always works.

Tonight on this quiet Christmas Eve, I share with you PEACE through a blog post and a Christmas poem that I will write on a whim in real time; so here it goes....

A Christmas Story

A feeling, a smile, a moment of truth,

A time, a place, the laughter of youth.

A tree, a twinkle, the smell of a fire,

A family, a gift, a heart's desire.

A song, a star, a child was born,

A purpose, a life, a ring of thorns.

A man, a God, your life to live,

The story, the meaning, the reason to give.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! 

May your hearts be filled with peace and joy

Until next time...

xoxo

Shells

                                                   

                               

                                                          

I HOPE THAT YOU WILL:

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On This Special Christmas Day

This has been a stressful one for me... I am not going to lie. December seemed so short and so busy that time got away which left me speed shopping for gifts and groceries two days before the big day. I was not able to make my "from scratch" Christmas cookies for all of my clients as I have for several years now, and I found that my obsessive compulsiveness was getting the best of me. Our tree was finally finished tonight as I was prepping the food for tomorrows family feast, and if it were not for my two special elves, my wrapping would have never been done. This year, more hustle and bustle consumed me than my brain and body could handle and if you know me, I typically handle a lot. As I watched photos of family and friends being posted as the holidays approached I could not help but feel I was missing out.

Although as I sit here my intent was to write a Christmas Eve blog, as time would have it, it is now officially Christmas morning. The gifts are ready to be placed under the tree, my homemade spaghetti sauce for my "Italian" Christmas is brewing, and it finally smells like Christmas as a Christmas bundt cake for tomorrow's dessert just came out of the oven all warm and yummy. I am finally feeling like normalcy has set in... I am trying to calm my mind in order to enjoy what tomorrow brings; I have allowed the craziness to overcome me up until now. I was busy... it's my life and I am quickly realizing that I let it get too far this month.

So...

T'was Christmas morning and all through my head,
feelings of craziness danced around so I said;
Not a single moment more, this is not how it"ll be,
Just enjoy spending time with your family.
Stop worrying about the things that don't matter... you have what you need,
God has made sure for you've done some good deeds.
He is the reason we celebrate this day, yes.. a father gave a son and our sins washed away.

As we are busy shopping and stressing over what it's not,
God watches and hopes we'll remember what we're taught.
Many of you may feel you don't deserve this kind of care,
But rest assured my dear friend, God is always there.
We can't do life alone...  we need that great man
I learned this through struggles, and now I'm a fan.
I didn't feel worthy, for I made many mistakes,
But He loved me the most as my heart filled with aches.
And now as I sit here in awe of His love
I am honored to celebrate our great God above.

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT!

~Shells~

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What Makes You Smile?

I am starting tonight's post off as originally intended... a post about what makes people smile. The idea spun off of asking that very question on one of my Facebook pages yesterday. I was feeling kind of overwhelmed and frustrated with the lack of time I had to finish all that I have to do this week. (Can you say near breakdown? YEP ME!) Bottom line is that I needed to smile so I quickly posted "What makes you smile?" on my personal page and the comments began pouring in. My initial reason for posting was because any time I can make someone else smile and think positive, I cheer up... it's a win win. Weird perhaps, but it's how I am wired. I am the same way with shopping. I can shop for myself but the feeling I have at the end  is not that great.


I mean sure... I may like the shirt I bought or feel sassy in the new heels I own, but I actually end up feeling guilty for buying something for myself when I did not really need it. I am insanely practical which is a blessing AND a curse.

Now, flip the scenario and give me a reason to shop for someone else? I get excited, empowered and can shop until I am broke and not even blink. (Been there, done that, have the bank statements to prove it.) So, as the day went on, my mood changed as people posted what made them happy. It was awesome... because not one person said "things" or "gadgets" or nice cars or buying fancy clothes. In fact many people said kindness... small gestures, kind words, family, their children. It made me smile because when we dig deep down we KNOW that material things don't make us smile, they merely help us feel like we fit in. We give up time with the things that make us smile for things that have no real value... how crazy is that?

It's Christmas,  a lot of people have very little... some have nothing, but when you still have things that make you smile isn't THAT what matters? Don't worry so much about buying gifts people in your life don't need or want, don't stress over things that don't matter. Focus on time with family, loving and supporting others and perhaps helping someone in need... a complete stranger even, because THAT is what Christmas is all about.

It brings me back to just a few years ago.. Christmas 2009 when I literally had $100 left for Christmas after paying my bills. I had 4 children, one who was only 2 months old. I was a single mom feeling defeated by the holiday stress. I sent my youngest three to their Dad's and told him to do "Santa" because I could not. My oldest and I had no plans for Christmas Eve and it was looking like bologna sandwiches for Christmas dinner. On Christmas Eve morning as I sulked in my sadness I said to my daughter "hey... we have $100 dollars and that will buy a ton for homeless people, lets go shopping and collect stuff out of the house and garage and go deliver gifts to the homeless tomorrow" ... that is exactly what we did. We only spent $10 of that money on ourselves for a lunch at Five Guys. We bought toiletries at the Dollar Tree and went Goodwill hunting for gloves, hats and warm jackets. We collected unused items and clothing from our own garage and I filled up the back of a friend's Suburban as if it were Santa's sleigh. We had a BLAST! On Christmas morning I made pancakes and we set out on our journey to find homeless people in need and gave them a Merry Christmas. It was honestly THE BEST Christmas I EVER had and my daughter agrees.

Now for my detour which fits in perfectly here... this morning I woke up to a private post from a fairly new friend who lost her home and everything in it yesterday after it burned to the ground just days before Christmas. She is a hard working single mother who has two teen boys and who also takes care of her mother. She was not asking for money or anything... she simply told us the news and said that  "I know there has to be a bright side to this. I know God doesn't let things happen to you that you can't handle." I was truly CRUSHED and recalled that Christmas when I felt that I had nothing.

I immediately started a relief fund for her and am hoping to give her some hope and cheer this Christmas season. When you lose everything material you really cling onto and appreciate what you do have; and that is hope, love, support, family and friends. I am hoping that you can find it in your heart to help a stranger tonight... you don't have to have a lot of money because every dollar counts as well as every share, tweet, and pin. There are still many good people in this crazy, corrupt world, and it is up to us to show others that being nice and generous is NOT weird, it's COOL and maybe by doing this we do our part to fix humanity. No... I can't save the world but I can sure die trying and so can you.

Here is the link to the relief fund I have set up. PLEASE help me raise as MUCH as possible.You may not have any money to give but the time it takes to click "share" counts too! All of YOU can be a part of true Christmas giving. MERRY CHRISTMAS!

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CLICK HERE

CHRISTMAS FIRE RELIEF FUND

XOXO

~SHELLS~

Congratulations to Robert Dodd... one of the ones who posted a response to my post "What makes you happy?"  His name was picked and he has won an amazon gift card and a signed copy of my book.

A little Holiday Cheer

Happy Tuesday! I am sorry for the delayed blog post; busy season is among us and I am like a chicken with my head cut off this time of year. (Losing a week did not help!) Now, I am not sure what or even if you celebrate this time of year, but the simple fact that you clicked this link tells me that you may need some holiday cheer, (whoa unintentional rhyme) Anyway... my goal is to deliver that something special that you may need.



If you like sunshine, then Florida is definitely the place to be during Christmas. Even after living here for nearly 15 years, I still find it REALLY hard to get into the holiday spirit wearing tank tops and flip flops. In fact, when I saw this weather map on Facebook I laughed out loud and could not help but wish that I could simply wear a fluffy sweater and snow boots this year. (I suppose I could but would likely die of heat exhaustion, not to mention look a bit strange.) So... I will live vicariously through those who post pictures of  beautiful snow covered trees, icicles and snowmen and allow it to bring me back to when I was just a little girl in Massachusetts.

 My holidays were surrounded by the seasons, I loved jumping in piles of raked leaves in the fall, but winter was my favorite season of all. The barren trees were always covered in that glistening white magic and the calm quiet of winter was always so peaceful. One of my favorite things was the way the light hit the snow on a moonlit night outside the huge front windows of the A-frame tudor home that my dad built; I could see the lawn from my room because it was the loft which faced that window.We always had a fire going during this time of year and because of that, I still love the smell of a wood burning fireplace. I loved popping popcorn over the fire in an old fashioned popper (Little house on the Prairie style) while Mom and Dad sang Christmas songs like O Holy Night I to the strums of his guitar. That is how I remember my childhood Christmases, they were awesome and the memories of those times are something I hold very dear. I had hoped that I would give those kind of memories to my kids however felt as if I had failed to do that in this season-less state, until my beautiful daughter Baleigh reminded me that I was wrong.




This year, we decided to get a huge real tree, and because real trees are a little more challenging to hang heavy ornaments on, I decided to just do a "show tree" and not my traditional tree with all the "special" ornaments. I whipped it together thinking nothing of it even though I had initially thought we would do what we always do and decorate it together. It just seemed to be the "easiest" thing to do considering time was of the essence and it was hard to tell them where to stuff raffia. On Sunday, Baleigh and I went to church and on our way back she asked, "Mom, when are we going to decorate the tree?" I explained that I decided to do a themed tree this year and that it was already done, still thinking nothing of it. Until... she got quiet and when I looked over I saw tears forming in her eyes.

When I asked her what was wrong, she tried to say that her allergies were bothering her... (man, that kid is just like me!) but because of this I knew that she was not being truthful.After several minutes I finally managed to pull out of her that she loved decorating the tree and putting all those special ornaments on that I have collected over the years; she honestly could hardly stop the tears from falling.

It was in that moment that I realized that despite the fact that I feel I was unable to create special holiday traditions in this ridiculous heat... for her, the time we took remembering the moments when we made these ornaments together... and how amazing it always is to pull them out year after year realizing how quickly time really does fly. My heart was warmed and I was so proud of her. So in honor of our Christmas tradition, next week when my oldest daughter Cierra comes home, we will re-decorate the tree. Me and all my little munchkins... the ones who give me so much joy and so many smiles because THAT is what truly means the most and we will do it while wearing tank tops and flip flops!

XOXO

~Shells~

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It's Time to Push Through...

Now that Thanksgiving is behind us and you Black Friday shoppers are happy, broke and lucky to be alive, let the Christmas Holiday officially commence! My house sits quiet today since my kids are away at their grandparent's for the weekend and that allows my mind time to think; which in this case is a good thing. My thoughts of the upcoming month and all that will take place leaves me excited, joyous and warm and fuzzy on the inside. My mind quickly wanders to a time when I was always stressed this time of year. A time when I wore myself out working 70-80 hours a week getting my salon clients in... not only to make them look beautiful for the holiday season, but having the need to make as much money as I possibly could in order to pay my bills and still give my kids a suitable Christmas. I actually get a bit teary-eyed remembering how hard that was at times as a single mom, but I always did it because I do what I have to do without complaining or using excuses of why I can't.  Deep down I always felt blessed that there was always one more client that had to get in before I closed my salon doors on Christmas Eve each year that always helped me make Christmas happen. For years I did all my shopping on Christmas Eve as soon as I left the salon. It was hard... but I always did it and got through the holidays by the fur of a Santa hat. I remember my need to be close to family even when they all lived far away, so I would forfeit something each year in order to have the gas money to travel up to ring in the new year with them by my side because being with my family is what always made the holidays meaningful to me. I remember that sacrifice being my electric bill one year, knowing I would come home to an apartment with no power, but that did not stop me. It's funny how that year I had a client booked the day I got back so I told my kids that something was wrong with our power and paid my bill as soon as I finished my client's hair; I was always doing what I had to do in order to get what I wanted while staying ethical and honest, and I still do.

As I sit here today knowing those days are gone for me, at least momentarily, I think of the many people who are in that place right now... maybe you are one of them. Perhaps you lost your job, got demoted, lost a spouse or family member that caused financial devastation in your life, or maybe it's just how life is for you, just like it was for me. I want you to know that there is ALWAYS HOPE, don't ever give up trying to create a better situation than what you have now even if you are just fine, because maybe that will mean you can help someone who is struggling when you have more than enough.  I never thought I would see myself out of the woods, but that did not stop me from running through the trees; THAT perseverance is what ultimately got me out of them. I still have the same mentality though; I still go through stores and load a cart up with stuff only to put half the things back before I get to the register because they are not necessities, simply because I have been wired by hard times and a fluctuating income. I feel that this makes me smart, educated, wise and thankful for all that I have today; I don't look at any of it as unfortunate and neither should you. I will never forget the times when I had to make choices that nobody should have to make... "Groceries or rent?" I simply realize those times are what allow me to appreciate today with my whole heart and that is how you find the positive light in the negative clouds that hover.

If you are struggling... I encourage you to keep pushing through, we are right around the corner from a BRAND NEW year... and who knows, maybe THIS will be YOUR year to shine. I love you all to the moon and back and look forward to sharing this holiday season with all of you!

xoxo 

~Shells~

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