Not Just Father's Day....

It's been a very busy week, and I am thankful for that. Busy is good in most scenarios, and this was no exception. Today I am planning to tackle more home projects since I am not able to spend the day with my Dad and my kids are with theirs, but I wanted to post a Father's day message to all of the Dad's out there in honor of YOU today.

That moment when you hold your child for the first time... looking at the tender little face all pink and fuzzy in complete awe that YOU are responsible for creating this little life. The feelings are overwhelming for not only the mother, but for you...the Dad.  You take them home from the hospital and lay awake at night staring at them while they sleep, you kiss them a million times ; a child is a true miracle. Your life flashes before you and the next thing you know they are in kindergarten, all you care about is protecting them with every ounce of who you are, you want them to grow into wonderful young adults and begin to realize time goes by so fast. You play with them, tickle them, scold them when they do wrong because that is your job as a parent, but most of all, you love them with all your heart.

As they hit their adolescent years, they become less interested in hanging out with you, but you do everything you can to keep their attention. You challenge them to a game of driveway basketball, you bet that you can bench press more than they can, or you ask your daughter out on a date to demonstrate how a man should treat her; like a lady. It's time for prom and you watch as your son beams with pride when his date arrives beautifully dressed or you tear up as you see how beautiful your daughter looks in the dress she picked out, makeup on, hair done... and you wonder where the time has gone. You remind her how a man should treat her before she leaves or you tell your son to be a gentleman.

High school graduation has arrived and you are overcome with pride as your graduate walks in cap and gown, you hope that you have done a good job and set a good example, after all YOU are their role model, they WILL follow in your footsteps. They have become what you have taught them to be... and it's now time for them to spread their wings... however you will still be there to catch them if they fall.

Wedding day... an emotional day. Your son has chosen his bride, you daughter has found the perfect gentleman, and you must give her away... although you know you never really can. You stand beside your son as he watches his bride inch down the isle towards him, you hope you have taught him how to be a good husband. Your daughter is locked arm-in-arm with you and you don't want to let go. You know that no other man will love her like you do... but you hope they will love her as they should. You kiss her forehead as you let go of her at the altar and tears roll as you walk away.You have done a good job... she will be okay, and she will always be a Daddy's girl.

Everyone has a Dad, but there are many people out there who have never had a "Father"... my oldest Daughter is one of them. There is an absent feeling inside of her because of it, and I know it will always be there. I played both roles as many women do; and although I never took her on a date, I told her how a man should treat her. I will likely be the one who gives her away and I know that I will tear up as I kiss her on the forehead and walk away hoping that the man she has chosen will love her as much as I do.

To all of the Father's out there... today is a day to celebrate what YOU give to your children... you are awesome! Today is also a day to celebrate the Mothers who are also Fathers... we pull double duty and deserve to be celebrated twice. To all of the children out there who never had a father...celebrate yourselves today for being able to become who you are without them, it's hard and you are amazing. For those who have lost their father... you have fond memories... hang on to them, you were lucky to have had them in your life. And to those of you who are Dad's but have never been a Father... it's never too late to change this. Being a Father means so much more than making a child.

Last but not least... I want to say Happy Father's Day to the men who have stepped into the lives of children that are not their own and who have assumed the Father role. YOU are very special, you have done this out of pure love... not obligation and that is more than amazing. I am lucky enough to have a man in my life who has done just that. Corey Barker... I love you very much; Happy Father's Day, you are amazing to my kids and that in itself warms my heart, they are so lucky to have you in their lives, and so am I.

xoxo

~Shells~

"It takes a moment to be a Dad but to be a Father you must spend a lifetime." ©2012 Shelley Giard

This is my Father his senior year in High School

This is my Dad with my son a week ago during his visit to Florida

An excerpt from my book https://www.facebook.com/INeedTheHappyEnding

My father owned and operated a construction company when I was growing up. The smell of sawdust filled the room whenever he walked in; and to this day, it is one of my favorite smells. I am a Daddy’s girl, I loved being out in the garage with him crafting things out of wood, which was his hobby when not building a home for someone. The smells of stain and shellac are vivid, and to this day, bring me back to my childhood. My Dad is a hard working, amazingly talented and gifted man in his craft. He is a father to four children and a great story teller. The ability to make long stories longer; well… let’s say I get it honestly. He is an amazing singer, it was like growing up in the Partridge family around my house, my mom sang as well and I keep many memories of Dad taking out his guitar and singing tucked away in my mind for days when I need to smile. I LOVED hearing my Dad sing growing up… I still do. He used to sing Sunshine on my Shoulders by John Denver to me at night before bed as a little girl and I have passed the tradition of singing at bedtime on to all four of my kids… I don’t even know if he knows that. Everyone knows my Dad, he rarely meets a stranger and everyone who meets him likes him. He is genuine, transparent and I have to say I am just like him in so many ways. He was a recovered alcoholic; was sober for 8 years before my sister died…

Self-Discovery Tip: Don't Explode! Get it OUT!

Well... not everyday can be butterflies and rainbows right? Although I tend to make the best out of every day... today I had a hard time mentally. I love the Internet... I love having everything at my fingertips right when I need it and being able to communicate with people all over the country in real time is so amazing to me. I love the convenience of shopping from home given the fact that my schedule is so hectic and carting my three kids around from store to store in and out of car seats in 98 degree weather is not my idea of fun. It is SO worth spending the extra few bucks for the shipping. Unfortunately there is always a dark side of things. I tend never to look at that side being that my daily intent is to stay positive; but sometimes, it just has to creep up on you and get your attention. Today was one of those days. I was a victim of hacking or identity theft, fraud, whatever you want to call it, they all mean the same to me. Someone in Canada had a field day with my debit card and charged $1000 worth of merchandise at Bed Bath and Beyond. Now, I have to prove it wasn't me even though the way I found out was a phone call from the fraud department at my bank. Hmm... sounds a bit backwards. You call me because you suspect fraud and now I have to fill out a form and fax it to you so you can "investigate" before you credit back the $1000?.... LOVELY. Meanwhile this is my business account that has been frozen. I swear I need to go back to keeping my money in a shoe box. Lets hope they don't take the entire 5 days they allow themselves to credit the money back to my account , I wonder if the stock market will rise between now and then?

Onto other things... it's time to get into self-help-mode and out of pity party mode because someone got happy with my debit card.


I have met many people in my 21 year career as a stylist. I may as well have been puffing a pipe, notepad in hand nodding my head as I flipped foils and slung color. In that 21 years, I have gotten really good at psychology and the energy of the human mind. I read people very well; I watch their every twitch, every foot tap, hand movement, lip nibble, every swallow and pulsing Adam's apple and of course let's not forget the pinball eyes. I can tell when someone is  lying, and I can tell when someone is upset, sad, mad, frustrated you name it, it's part of my job; reading people. I have heard stories... many of them. The most difficult ones I hear are the stories people tell when they are harboring feelings. Maybe it's a friend or a family member that has upset them, a boss, a co-worker... and the emotions poor out and runneth over the sides of my Hydraulic chair. Bitterness & anger are always the prominent emotions that come out. I always relate to these stories very well because I used to harbor feelings too. I never said what I felt, if someone would ask me what was wrong I would say nothing as I burst inside wanting to scream. I became bitter and developed animosity and resentment towards the people who had hurt my feelings. The problem was, THEY never knew they did... or at least some of them didn't. Why? Because I NEVER said anything! I held it all in and eventually the toxic emotions came bubbling out onto people around me that did not deserve it about things completely unrelated to what was REALLY going on.

It wasn't until I went to a seminar and heard Shad Helmstetter speak that I realized that I could re-program my "hard drive." For years and years and years I had experienced mental abuse. From getting bullied in my adolescent years to two failed marriages...I had a lot on my mental "hard drive" that needed to be re-written. That day changed my life.. what he said changed my life and I began to heal. Harboring feelings does nothing but junk up your "hard drive" it is a Trojan virus that needs to be deleted.  Too may of these "viruses" will shut you down. ( I hope you are getting the metaphorical speak) We must re-write our data, we must fill our head with positive things and forgive ourselves and others for mistakes that have affected us. It is only then that you can truly begin to feel free of what once was and start living what's now.

Don't harbor feelings... feelings of guilt, anger, sadness, get it out... TALK about it. That is the first step to finding happiness and peace in your life.

This post is dedicated to one of my BEST friends. I love you.. and if you are reading you KNOW who you are. I want nothing more in life than your happiness.... Begin rewriting your hard drive today. <3

xoxo
~Shells~

Finding Hope...

Have you ever felt that hope was the hardest thing to find when you need it the most? Yeah? Okay well... join the crowd. Haven't you ever heard that nothing comes easy in life that is worth it? I have and that is the very statement that gives me hope to just keeps going.

"NOTHING IN LIFE THAT COMES EASY IS WORTH IT... So you HAVE to keep going."

I did not have the need to ramble on tonight simply because the message is very clear but I figured that I could at least tell a personal story... a short one.


Excerpt from my book: https://www.facebook.com/INeedTheHappyEnding

"Three months out of high school I found out I was going to be a mother. All the goals and dreams I had in my head were destined to be crushed. I became part of a negative statistic and I did not like the way that felt. I was determined to never be what people expected me to be from that moment on. A "poor single mom trying to do the best she can in her situation" I did not want to be on welfare, food stamps or have to say no to my kids when I could not afford something they needed (not wanted). I wanted to change the stigma; nothing worth it comes easy, so I figured I must be getting something good in the end. I was able, so I lifted my chin and kept going; so glad I did.

xoxo

~Shells~

Random Acts of Kindness... Caught by Surprise!

Have you ever fallen victim to a random act of kindness that caught you so off guard that it left you speechless? I have been lucky enough for this happen in my life, but only a few times. If I compared it with the random acts of rudeness it would't hold a candle. That being said, I was a victim today and it was a gentle reminder of how great you can make someone feel if you do something nice... and you should do it everyday. As I was driving down the Veterans Expressway ; a toll road that runs from Tampa all the way to Homasassa Springs which is about and hour and a half north, I had taken $2.00 out of my wallet for the stretch home from my Hair and Makeup Studio. As I approached the second toll booth I rolled down my window and put out my dollar bill only to be told that the person in front of me paid for me already. I was like... "What?... they paid for me?, did they say why?" The toll lady just smiled and said that it was paid and to have a nice day. Although puzzled, I smiled and drove away.

I am very happy that my kids were with me... to see the shock on my face, the puzzled look I had and the smile that followed it all. My 10-year-old Baleigh even asked why they paid for me and tried to find an excuse of why as if it was not intentional. I laughed and said "Baleigh, sometimes although not often, people do nice things for no other reason than to be nice... let that be a lesson."

That brings me to my close... yes it's a short lesson tonight; but a good one. A random act of kindness can make someone's day, render a smile and is totally worth doing. I totally assume that as that person paid my toll and drove away, they too had a smile on their face because I know firsthand how amazing it makes you feel to do something for someone else. It's not that common anymore but we all need that  unexpected lift once in a while. What you give will never go unnoticed and neither will what you take. Be sure you are remembered for giving of yourself and I guarantee you will at some point fall victim to kindness yourself.

"When you take the time to do something for someone else despite your worries and stress, a sudden feeling of relief will come over you and make your day better." 

©2012 Shelley Giard

xoxo

~Shells~

How to Handle Guilt...Can You Forgive YOU?

Is it REALLY already the 11th? My, how time flies! I knew that the last week had kept me from my daily blogging;  but when I saw how many days it had been since my last post I was like.... WOW! I guess that having two guests that were in town stay with you for several days, launching several home improvement projects determined to finish them in a week, preparing a new blog, loving my family of 5, weaving in a little career-time, and relocating a business all in one month is over-doing it a little? Problem is that I am not sure how to do it any different and sometimes wish I did. Anyone want to give me lessons on "chill-axing"? I will pay big bucks!

So.... I suppose not blogging for a few days is something that I should forgive myself for (and hope my readers do too.) And that...my friends, brings me to tonight's topic:

How to Handle Feelings of Guilt 

Have you ever had that pivoting moment when you are helplessly pushing a department store cart around filling it full of things that you will then circle around the store and return before you get to the register? Yeah, it's my kind of retail therapy... not buying anything for myself. I did that for YEARS, and unfortunately I began to resent myself for it. I NEVER did ANYTHING for myself, and if I did, I would feel guilty. I am a giver, not a taker...from anyone; not even myself. I have children; aka other bodies to think about. As a caring parent; I worry most about them, and very little about me. For the many years I lived this way, I dreamed of a day when I could rid myself of the guilt of thinking that doing something for me once in a while was selfish. As a single parent, I had to work endless hours to support my family... and although to some, I was a woman who never cared for or saw her kids;  the reality was that I was a Mom doing nothing BUT caring for my kids; I just could not be home while I did it. I hated that, always have... but I did what I had to do to survive.

When I began realizing how important taking care of YOUR needs and wants is to internal happiness I began to pay attention. I learned it is how you begin to forgive yourself for living a little. You do not need an excuse to be happy, it is a free pass for the taking. Many of us let it sit out in limbo waiting to be claimed... but we put the WANTS of others in the forefront of our own NEEDS. It is a hard habit to break... I won't lie to you. After three years of practice, I am STILL not perfect. I will be the first to say that anytime I deviate from my plan to think of myself too, I end up being stressed about something and likely want to blame someone else for it.

Don't do this to yourself, we can self-destruct as we stretch ourselves too thin and there is no Go-Go- Gadget-Clone button. (I even searched on Google for it). Handle guilt with a self-indulgent statement like,  "you have worked hard... you have the right to buy yourself a pair of socks that cost $4.00"... (unless of course you or your family need that money for your mortgage or other necessity like food.) You will never be happy if you are beating yourself up every time you turn; you are not Mohamed-Ali, nor does anyone expect you to be. "FORGIVE YOU" and your days will become less stressful and more gratifying. Continue to give to others; I am a BIG believer in that. However remember that YOU are important too.

Have a great night everyone!

~Chins up Backs Strong!~

xoxo

~Shells~

All In All it's Just another Brick in The Wall....

First things first,  I want to say that I have terribly missed blogging the past few days, I truly have even though I have had a good reason to take a break and that reason was to spend time with family.  My oldest daughter Cierra, who lives in Colorado flew in on Thursday to go to a special event at her old high school and my Dad who lives in SC flew in on Friday to visit with his grand-kids and help me with some home improvement projects. We have had a great time so it is needless to say that I am sad they have to go back home soon. Usually when I take a break from blogging it's to spend time with family or I am working on a freelance job where I don't have internet service. Tonight though, after finishing up what I had to do and seeing everyone off to bed, I had to sit down and write even if it was just a little bit.

It has been so wonderful having my Dad here. Despite my yearly visit to South Carolina each year, he has not been to Florida to visit ME in about 13 years, but after the death of his wife back in April, I felt getting away may be just what he needed. My dad is an amazing craftsman, a builder of a different kind; an artistically brilliant man when it comes to anything that smells of sawdust or requires hammering a nail. He is just like his father... my Pépère and when I watch him think as he works, I know where my artistic side comes from as well as my problem solving nature. We have tackled a few small projects around my house over the past few days, but today, we started the kitchen project aka "My  Rustic Tuscan Kitchen Project" and phase 1 was laying adobe bricks onto my back splash. I am one of those do-it -yourself kind of girls, and it's because of my dad that I am that way.

While other girls were in dance class and attending cheer-leading practice playing "girl" I was in my dad's workshop huffing sawdust and wood stain. I loved being involved in my dads woodworking projects and today as we planned the brick project, I was abruptly brought back to my childhood. As the Simon and Garfunkle Pandora station played in the background on my Ipad my dad taught me a new craft and that was how to lay brick on a wall.  I have to say that it turned out pretty amazing and I cannot wait to finish over the next few days. I will cherish this time with him more than he knows because I know that one day all I will have is the memory of doing this with him along with the faint smell of sawdust and the feel of his calloused craftsman hands.

"Memories we hold in our minds should be only the ones that made us smile; for the things we remember that are painful are there only to have taught us a lesson." 

©2012 shelleygiard

 

What's New... What's Happenin' .... How I Doin'?

Tonight, I felt like writing about what's going on in my world. Many of you follow me on Facebook,  Twitter and perhaps even Google Plus... but I never have the opportunity to share everything on social media sites being that status updates are character limited. Since many of you have asked me "what's going on lately?" I chose to update everyone, fans, friends and family via my blog post tonight.

Okay, so... (deep breath) this is what's new in my business life:

I love blogging, probably because I LOVE writing and sharing information so I am starting up a new blog in June. It will be a Health-Wellness- Beauty blog that I will post to every Monday morning. It will include information about promoting healthy digestion,staying toxin free, gluten-free dairy-free recipes that I have concocted all on my own since making this lifestyle change myself, as well as makeup and beauty tips for all of those that have BEGGED me to do tutorials; they are coming I promise!  Anyone who knows me knows I am a complete GEEK in my industry and my industry is BEAUTY from the inside out. I have a lot planned for the new blog and am REALLY excited to have this outlet to share inforation in a much bigger way. I love to share information and well... I am asked all of the time for my advice and tricks of my trade so you asked for it and I plan to deliver on it. Be patient and of course I will hope to get a lot more feedback and input from my readers on what you want to see. It will be up to YOU out there to tell me what you want to know.

My first book will be coming out in just a few short months and being that I am doing a lot of self promotion I would LOVE to have help from you! August is the projected release date and as we speak the website for me as an author is being created. Another exciting thing that is also going to keep me on my toes until it is released. I am obviously doing everything I can right now to build myself as a writer and my reading audience and hope that in the end that my readers are happy. THAT is my goal, NOT the monetary gain.

I was hired by a local online glamour magazine that has been around for several years but is under new ownership last month to be the official makeup artist for the magazine. Although I had ditched the glamour scene for a while due to my faith and morals, this magazine is very tastefully done and the photographer produces beautiful work so I accepted the offer. It will be a one weekend a month gig for me. Consistent clients and cash flow is what makes a freelancer drool. I am happy to have been asked to do this and the first issue will release tonight at midnight.

I am hoping to open my new hair and makeup studio by August, plans are in the making and I am currently looking for a new location... doing my best to be patient so I can find the perfect home. I am still planning to keep my North location open for my clients in Spring Hill, and God willing... it will all work out perfectly.

Okay I THINK that is it.



And... this is what's new in my personal life:

We have been in the new house for nearly two months and despite the fact that I have been up to my eyeballs with freelance work, we have managed to get quite a bit done. I am ready for a house warming party REALLY soon! Details will go out to those near and dear as soon as we figure out a date. Corey, the kids and I are loving our new home. As expected getting used to being around each other every day has had a few growing pains but as we approach week 9 or 10 ( I lost count) we are feeling pretty great and I think MY butterflies are over. (Yes, I was the one that felt the biggest lump in the throat) Go figure!

Today, my oldest daughter Cierra flew in from Colorado. She is my mini-me. At 20 years old she is driven, motivated, talented, beautiful and VERY responsible for a young student living on her own across the country from her family. She makes me SUPER proud! Tomorrow, my Dad flies in and  being that he has not been to Florida to visit me since 1999 (the year I moved here) I am REALLY excited to have him as a guest in our new home. I of course have been to see him many times since 1999, but it was WAY overdue for him to pay ME a visit so I flew him down myself! He lost his wife last month and I just felt now was a great time for him to get away and see his grandchildren. (And perhaps help his DIY daughter with a few projects around the house!)

Abrielle, my youngest daughter (2 1/2) who has Down syndrome is doing SO wonderful. She is as smart as any toddler is; and is into everything lately! She is the happiest most loving child I have ever known and she warms my heart everyday. I am so proud of her accomplishments, her small hurdles are HUGE hurdles to us and I love watching her figure things out on her own; knowing her challenges, she is more than amazing I must say. She is wanting to feed herself more and I have been teaching her simple sign language for several months now until she can form the words to tell us what she wants and needs. I think it is pretty cool that all of us are learning sign together as a family to help her communicate better. Watching her brilliant little mind learning and using it correctly and in the right context brings tears to my eyes... she is no dummy let me tell you! She will transition to the school system in October when she turns 3, THAT I cannot believe and I KNOW I will need tissues THAT morning!

This week was Baleigh's last full week of school. I cannot believe she will be in 5th grade next year. Where in the world does the time go? Before I know it she will be in high school... just a few short years away and then poof! There will only be two left at home. She is my creative genius that will likely never be on honor roll again now that she is past 4th grade, but neither was I and I think I turned out JUST FINE!

Zane is my little man, quickly approaching 4, he is a funny little goof! He is SUCH a great big brother to his little sis and she finds him amusing in every way! They love each other so much and it makes me smile to know that she will always have him to look out for her (even if she can beat up everyone around her.)

I am so happy to see my blog audience grow and I wanted to take a minute to thank every single one of you for reading and supporting me on my journey. I will never forget how it all started, I will be humble all the way to the finish line. Without struggle we can never experience triumph and God knows the struggles he has handed to me and I know he gave them me so I could RUN like the wind. I feel so blessed and know that this year is a REALLY big one for me. I am hanging on waiting for my hair to blow backward!

"Life is a roller coaster so HANG on tight, it will be worth it in the end if you don't chicken out!"                               ShelleyGiard ©2012

Have a great night everyone, keep your chin held high and you self esteem even higher! 

XOXO

~Shells~