Sunday, July 29, 2012

Is It Love or Lust?

With the way most modern traditional relationships begin, this question is all too valid because despite morals, biblical or other faithful teachings, many relationships are consummated way before the ring OR the true commitment. It is because of this that many of us end up wondering at some point whether the "love" we are in is true or not.  Does having sex before marriage mean that the relationship won't last? No. Does it mean that the love is based on sex? Maybe at first, and sometimes it does, but I wholeheartedly believe that true love can be developed even when a relationship starts out with a roll in the sheets.

"True love is visible... it resonates from the two bodies involved. From the smiles on their faces to the way their hands touch, it just shows. It's like the "pregnant glow" a woman gets only it works for the man too. Love shows when one person talks or speaks of the other, words are not harsh or negative... but complimentary and endearing. They speak of the things that make them happy or proud to be in a relationship with that person, not the things that bother them about it. True love may still have it's negative moments, but when it is TRUE those moments don't last very long for true love is stronger than bad moments. Love is when you wake up next to one another and despite the bed head, no makeup and morning breath you are still able to say "that's my sweetie". Love stands up when lust would fail you and although true love IS hard to find; it can be found. Witnessing it can give hope to those who have yet to find it, and those who have found it will always recognize it. Love withstands all things, people who love truly fight differently, they feel differently they look at other pretty women or handsome men differently. It is untouchable, it is real, it is special, it is rare.

Lust has no meaning, very little feeling and only one agenda. It is common, but it is useless because it lasts a short time... sometimes a few months sometimes even a couple of years but at some point it fails and it ends. Will we ever be back to a time when we wait? As a majority, I doubt it, although I am very happy to learn that more high school girls wait longer now. I did not wait more than once in my life and admittedly so it caused a broken heart (more than once) and a harder road in life than I intended to travel. Regret is not something I live with because I have lessons that I now share with others. Waiting may not be cool, it may not be fashionable or trendy but if you want to know whether or not a guy is in love with YOU or what you can "give" him... make him wait. If he loves you he will wait for you because a loving relationship has so much more to it that will sustain it. What you have to give is valuable, it is precious and it should be treated as that. In the days of marriage ending with divorce almost 90% of the time, the odds are against us; we have to change that and it starts with making better choices, giving better advice to our daughters, and teaching our son the value of a woman and true love.

"Don't tell me that I am sexy, tell me that I am beautiful. Don't tell me what you want to do to me, tell me what you can't do without me. Don't tell me what you want me to do, tell me what you hope to do with me. Dream with me, not only about me. Kiss my lips tenderly and treat me with care because my heart is very fragile and you will find that I am rare." ©ShelleyGiard


To my friends Todd and Kellie Collins... thanks for showing so many that true love DOES exist. May your journey together lead you into your old age and may you rock on a porch holding hands.