Monday, March 12, 2012

Parent of the YEAR!

Hello my Kool-Aid drinkers ;) my hope tonight is to be both funny and inspirational, with a topic that I am sure everyone can relate to. I am often baffled by stupid people... I wonder if it would strike a nerve if they could see what we see and realize the idiotic things they do if given the chance to somehow hover over themselves as they function in everyday life; and if they could would they change or stay the same? I am all about educating yourself, I may have only graduated high school, never to "officially" take it further but I fill my head with useful information (no information is useless as far as I am concerned... unless we are talking about tabloids, it's just not my forte'... I am not judging those who read them) I read a lot of non-fiction books on every topic imaginable, psychology and sociology magazines as well as other informative, educated magazine articles (my eyes burn in the grocery isle until I see Better Homes and Gardens, Health, Allure or Paula Dean's piercing blue eyes and over-retouched face) I was also thankfully and Godly blessed with common sense. I do however realize that there are people out there that either leave their common sense at home everyday thinking that it will be stolen or they just don't have any to begin with.

When you get divorced in the state of Florida and have children, you must take a mandatory class on parenting prior to being "awarded" the divorce.  Hmmmm.... I wonder why they don't make people take a parenting class BEFORE getting married or if having a child prior to marriage, how about as part of their prenatal care? How about THAT America? Apparently we are not about preventing disaster are we? (oops sorry got a bit side-tracked...HA) Anyway... last week I had to take this parenting class being that three years after my separation with my ex, I am finally in the last stages of my divorce (and just for the record, it was not me who delayed it.)  I did chuckle when I was told that I had to take this class, simply because being that I have 4 children... (my oldest being almost 20 and my youngest being 2 years old with special needs might I add) it seemed a bit late to "learn" how to parent... that would have been super useful 20 years ago when I was becoming a mom at 18 and had NO idea what I was doing. However finding out that this class strictly teaches you how to "parent" during and after divorce I figured I would actually learn something useful, and I did. I love knowledge and never claim to know everything... so I was optimistic. Besides, being crabby never pays off anyway... especially when it's out of your control to change the situation.

As I approached the door of the classroom 30 minutes before class (we were asked to get there 20 minutes early) I was only one of three people in the room, however as the time came closer for  "the bell to ring" the class began to fill up and the later it got the more interesting the classmates became. I suddenly flashed back to the movie Fast Times at Ridgemont High when Spicoli (played by Sean Penn) stumbled into the classroom stoned. People from all walks of life shuffled in; male and female, some looked wealthy, some not, some with sad faces, some fueled with anger and bitterness, others appeared intoxicated or stoned and then there were those of us who were simply there for the formality of our last phase before we sign on the dotted line. Two minutes before the class started a girl walks in smoldering with the aroma of a stale cigarette, sport bottle in hand, hair disheveled and obviously irritated to be there; much to my luck she sat right in front of me. (perfect view for pictures)

My quick observation told me THIS was going to get interesting as I looked at the big bold words, written on her sport bottle... (and of course I took this picture just before the warning to turn off our cell phones)
"Don't look at me, THAT'S NOT MY KID


Hello McFly! Being that this is a class on how to parent, you probably would have been better off to leave that bottle at home. (duh) Later in class, her behavior and outbursts about how "HER" kids were "NOT going to go visit their dad for an entire summer, no way in HELL" left all of us wondering what was in that bottle (doubtfully water) and we all felt sympathy for the father of her three daughters (and the daughters even more.) Which leads me to my punchline... What's worse than people with no common sense? The fact that they reproduce and lead by example. (sigh)

And tonight's inspiration? Well... if you were not born with common sense, you owe it to yourself and the rest of us to read some self help books on how to obtain it, and if you are not yet a parent, find a lass on parenting to sit in... you may actually learn what to do BEFORE they become a science project! Inspiring you to be a better human/and or parent is never wrong!

xoxo
~Shells~