Although my eyes are on fire I felt had to do this, maybe for you or maybe for someone else... but fate has hold of my fingers tonight. I sat down to begin this blog post hours ago (it is now almost 1:00a.m. my time) but before I did, I scrolled my Facebook page to see what everyone had posted before I put my fingers to work. (it's my television) Low and behold... I found two things. 1. a friend who posted about his struggle with faith due to current circumstances to which I responded in a private message and just after responding... 2. a post regarding a sermon that caught my eye. I stopped at the post because of the explicit title and because the description that was written underneath spoke of a former porn star named Crissy who had been saved and turned her life around. My mind said two things... 1. Cool, an inspirational story and 2. I think I may know Crissy. So... I clicked and immediately got sucked in because it was the Crissy that I knew. Years ago, I had been hired to do her makeup and hair for a three day shoot in Key West. SUCH a small world, I thought. I was speechless as I watched and listened to her story.
I knew Crissy was "in the industry" after all, I was hired to do her makeup and hair. I am not saying that I am proud that I took the job; but in my defense I was a bit lost myself back then. It was an all expense paid trip to Key West staying in a million dollar home. I was in my twenties, a bit reckless as I myself was struggling with self esteem issues and dating guys who only wanted one thing. She was a "celebrity", and I was trying to become the next big makeup artist. It was quite the wild weekend I must admit. We all have things we are ashamed of... so if you are judging me, look in the mirror right now. I just put mine out there so other people can learn from my mistakes.
As I watched this sermon like a hawk, many things ran through my head. I related on many levels to what this man was saying because I have been in relationships where this topic was an issue, and everything he said was true. I was saddened to hear Crissy's story, but happy that she has found a new life, one that will likely reward her and help her realize that she is worth more than she has been in the past. I was certainly inspired by her courage in putting it all out there in hopes of helping others, and was reminded once again that God does not judge, he forgives.
As for my friend that is struggling with their faith... as I said in my message to you, I have lost faith many times in my life (all Christians do) when things don't go our way after we pray or when we want it now yet forced to wait for what is meant to be... but the only way I ever bounced back from strife was to stop worrying, to believe and have faith that it would all be okay. And guess what? It always was.
Often, we have to hit rock bottom... be shaken to the point of having nothing left in us to fight in order to receive what is planned. Given our stubborn nature, and the will to fight which we are born with, we must be weakened enough to let go. It is then that we fall to our knees and THAT is when miracles happen. I have seen it... I have felt it... I have lived it.
Have a great night everyone... my hopes are that whatever it is you believe in... that you are blessed with at least one miracle in your lifetime.
The link that inspired this post:
Below is another excerpt from my book:
©" I Need the Happy Ending" by Shelley Giard
In August of 1991, just a few months after graduation, my life was changed forever once again when I found out that I was pregnant with my daughter Cierra at the young age of seventeen. My aspirations at that moment could have been tossed overboard if only I had given up hope, but I didn’t. My Dad told me I had ruined my life, and that what I had set out to do was never going to happen now. I was a Daddy’s girl, so that hurt… but I used those words as fuel to empower me. I would prove to him that what he said was not true, and I never let my circumstances overcome my ability to reach goals from that point on. I am so glad that he said what he said, and he knows now that I am stronger than he ever knew. I heard this same song and dance from a few others in my family as well, I was told it would be a hard road; they were disappointed, and told me that I had chosen my path and would have to live with it. My thought now is that this path chose me… it turned out to be one of many milestones to a future I was meant for. For without this path… you would likely not be reading these words.
When we are children, we aspire to be princes and princesses, heroes and beauty queens; we have high hopes of living “happily ever after” because that is what every fairy tale is about. What happens to us as we grow up is the reality of life, it so often steals this fairytale, robs us of hope and wrecks our ability to think we can ever have that happy ending. Along my journey I have felt like this more times than I can count. I have felt that I had truly suffered all the blows I could take. Just as soon as I feel that mindset taking over; typically after a meltdown and a good cry; I rise above it, suck it up and just keep going… the alternative just doesn’t seem that attractive to me.
After just a few years of pushing myself, I made my Dad eat his words by reaching my initial goals. I couldn’t move to Europe so I aligned myself with a European hair care company instead and was “European” trained. I bought my first home at nineteen and opened my first salon at the age of twenty with no loan and only one month’s rent in my pocket. I reached and exceeded my goal of making $30 an hour early in my career and now make over $100 an hour with my freelance work. I remember laughing at the thought of how people said “yeah right” and it was another sweet victory. It was time to set more goals and do it again!