Monday, February 27, 2012

Not Everyone Deserves the Trophy...

How about a bumper sticker that says THAT!

What happened to the good old days when elementary competition meant some win and others lose... The days when at the end of a season teams had an award ceremony and some kids had to go home without a ribbon or trophy. Or what about on awards day when some kids got honor roll certificates and perfect attendance and other kids got no certificates at all. Are those days seriously gone? Who decided that this form of learning responsibility... trying harder to succeed when you did not quite make the cut, understanding competition and how REAL life works was unhealthy? I would like to sit down and have a chat with them.

I have talked about this before...  building "false esteem" for our future generation who might I add are quickly gaining obnoxious "entitled" attitudes... mix that with a bit of "reality" TV as they call it and you have a spoiled rotten, can't do anything for themselves person that will be taking care of ME one day? Thank God I have 4 children that I am raising the right way. Perhaps I should have one more just so I know I will be in good hands. I am beginning to think that I will write a book about this topic in the future.... hmmm. The fuel that led me to write this tonight was a "certificate" that my 10 year old daughter brought home from the awards ceremony at school a couple of weeks ago and as I was packing  today I came across it again. It started my wheels turning and now you get to hear all about it. Unfortunately I could not go to the ceremony because of work, however my guilt was weakened being that I had not received a note saying that she was getting an award that day anyway.

She came home with award in hand... and says to me, "mom, I got this award today and I have no idea what it's for. I did not make the honor roll, and I missed some days, but I got this.. what is a merit award? I paused before answering because I am concerned about how I say things... words can cut like a knife and the wound lasts forever. I thought for a moment and frankly stated the fact... "Well sweetie, a Merit award is given when you did not earn other awards so that you don't feel left out. You are like your mommy... I did not do that good in school, I made A's in English like you and in art and music, just like you... but math, social studies and science? Yeah... not my thing. But guess what that means? You will grow up to be super creative and that will get you far if you run with it. However if you really want  those other awards, you can always try harder." Honest answer put a smile on her face, self esteem saved but lesson learned, nothing wrong with that.

Perfect attendance is a great habit, but living life and having fun is also a great habit. You are not going to be good at everything but you can be GREAT at one thing. I want my kids to do well... but not so well that they forget to live. I have been a working taxpayer since I was 13 years old... no joke. I have never been without a job (or two or three) since I was 13. (I am dizzy now, so I am glad I am sitting down) And ya know what? It wasn't until the last 3 years that I finally realized that living is also important, ( I am 38, do the math way too long... I missed out on a lot of life) It's healthy and necessary to LIVE. It's okay to fall short sometimes... just know how to get back up, brush off and keep going. I am scared at what the schools and the athletic programs are teaching our kids, so I am taking the wheel in that department when it comes to mine. How about you?

I  am proud to say that I am the ONLY parent I know with a child in college (2nd year) that does not and has never funded her bank account AT ALL! My daughter has flown home 3 times, bought Christmas gifts for the family twice, bought herself a car, lives in an apartment on her own, pays her bills and saves like a banshee. Everything in her apartment is paid for. The only thing I have sent her are little packages on holidays and "just because days" to let her know Mommy loves her. I talked to her tonight and she was telling me that after paying all of her bills this month she still had a nice nest egg in the bank so she treated herself to a day of shopping and still had plenty left over. I guess I did something right. She is living, and I LOVE to hear that!

"Don't be the person that gets rewarded for not using your vacation days... because one day you will wake up and wonder where your "life" went." ShelleyGiard©2012


This sits on a shelf in my Hair & Makeup Studio. It's my daily reminder to 
weave work into my life... not to weave life around my work.
Where there is will, there is a way!